biggest regret?
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I still think about it a lot and my husband is open to me having a female relationship, but I'm just not sure I could do it to him. He understands my feelings (poly wise) and knows I'm bi. And he's even told me that it wouldn't bother him, I just don't know that I could do it.
And hell, even if I could, I doubt I could ever find someone who would be open to a relationship with a married woman, let alone around here in the Midwest.
Oh, believe me, there is opportunity in the Midwest! You just have to be really sure about what you want. Is it true poly, or just an open relationship to experiment a bit? Then, you have to gather up the nerve... Some even have their husbands do the search and initial contact for them...so the incoming interest is aware that it really is OK...0 -
Well, I'm trying to think of something I've done that I regret...not going to college and getting married at 17? Nah, I'm not a good fit for college (although well qualified test wise), but I sure would have loved to go to a trade school...or even been allowed to take art and shop classes in high school. I had my daughter at 19. I do regret having to spend so much time working while she was young, and getting in a relationship with a certain man and bringing him in to live with us (waaayyy after divorcing her father). That was so NOT good for her.
Most things I have done, though, I've done because I WANTED to, and I look on them--for better or worse--as learning opportunities. I try not to hold grudges against myself. LOL0 -
Not finding the courage to be my true self until after getting married and having kids.
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Wow some of these are really gut wrenching... and while i prob have tons of regrets.. i can say one thing i did that i will never regret
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After 6 years of marriage to my husband and father of my kids, i trusted myself enough to leave that toxic relationship (oil and water no joke) and pursue my own life. This led me to the most amazing girlfriend and we have been together every since.. it will be 5 months in a couple days... known her since high school, and think it was the best decision i ever made.
I guess it could have gone either way.. i was one of the lucky ones... never felt so in love with anyone.. 0 -
Wow some of these are really gut wrenching... and while i prob have tons of regrets.. i can say one thing i did that i will never regret...
After 6 years of marriage to my husband and father of my kids, i trusted myself enough to leave that toxic relationship (oil and water no joke) and pursue my own life. This led me to the most amazing girlfriend and we have been together every since.. it will be 5 months in a couple days... known her since high school, and think it was the best decision i ever made.
I guess it could have gone either way.. i was one of the lucky ones... never felt so in love with anyone..
That was my story 12 years ago (except I had been married 9 years and didn't know my wife in HS.) Still with the same woman, the love of my life
My biggest regret was ever marrying a man in the first place, but I don't regret my children. They are great.0 -
Wow some of these are really gut wrenching... and while i prob have tons of regrets.. i can say one thing i did that i will never regret...
After 6 years of marriage to my husband and father of my kids, i trusted myself enough to leave that toxic relationship (oil and water no joke) and pursue my own life. This led me to the most amazing girlfriend and we have been together every since.. it will be 5 months in a couple days... known her since high school, and think it was the best decision i ever made.
I guess it could have gone either way.. i was one of the lucky ones... never felt so in love with anyone..
That was my story 12 years ago (except I had been married 9 years and didn't know my wife in HS.) Still with the same woman, the love of my life
My biggest regret was ever marrying a man in the first place, but I don't regret my children. They are great.
I don't regret marrying him per se... everything was a learning experience... if it wasn't for him i wouldn't have learned to appreciate the amazingness which is my girlfriend 0 -
Resigning from a well paying job to go gallivanting in Europe. I have been unemployed and miserable since i got back, that was Jan 2009.0
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giving the wrong people too many second chances to be good to me.
oh and quitting my best job ever and only now realizing it was a bad move.
if i put the pieces of me together earlier then i could have avoided all of my regrets.0 -
Not Coming out sooner. I never came out cause i feared what other would do or say. When i did come out it was such a relieved and surprising for most part everyone accepted it. I wish i did it sooner.
Health wise i wish i would of took care of my self sooner. I almost ate my self to death letting my weight go out of control.0 -
My biggest regret is not scraping up the courage to stand up to my parents at a young age. When I was little they convinced me that LGBT people were unnatural and people to be wary of (although they could never clearly define why). Of course, after the first time I interacted with an LGBT person I knew that was a load of crap, I just never spoke up about it. I wish I had. I wish I'd killed two birds with one stone and come out to them while telling them what bigots they were being. If I had done that at age 7 or 10 or 13, they couldn't have disowned me or kicked me out, and maybe they would have become better people by living with an openly LGBT person. Now that I'm 26, I'm afraid to tell them.
Being raised in a household that teaches you that you're different in a terrible way because of who you're attracted to takes an awful toll on a person. I've never had a girlfriend, but even if I had been out at school, there weren't any bi or lesbian girls that I knew of in the grade above or below me. I grew up in rural east Tennessee, in a teeny tiny town, and LGBT people were considered the devil's work. I really regret never experiencing having a girlfriend. I think my adolescence would have been much healthier if I could have dated a girl my age instead of sneaking around with 20 to 23-year-old guys who weren't really interested in me at all.
My parents have gotten a lot better over the years, but every now and then my mom will caution me about hanging around certain women she suspects are lesbians/ bisexual. I always ask why, and if she thinks they're going to rape me or something of that nature. She usually shuts up pretty quickly after that. I openly support LGBT equal rights around them, but I don't see myself ever really coming out. It's really none of their business what goes on in my sex (or fantasy) life, anyway.
So that's my two cents. You folks' stories are so brave and inspiring.0 -
I thought I was the only one.Not believing I deserved to be loved by the woman who kept telling me over and over that she did, Eventually she got tired of trying to convince me.
I'm rather meh about romance these days, but I secretly have never gotten over that. It still really hurts realizing how stupid I was and how I ruined that completely.0 -
I regret being in the closet for 28 years. I wasted so much time trying to be something that I'm not.0
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Hmmm, this is hard to put into words.
I would never take back/regret meeting my husband but I do wish that it had happened later than it did. I was 18 when we met and we've been together ever since. I wish I had had the chance to explore a relationship with a woman.
I still think about it a lot and my husband is open to me having a female relationship, but I'm just not sure I could do it to him. He understands my feelings (poly wise) and knows I'm bi. And he's even told me that it wouldn't bother him, I just don't know that I could do it.
And hell, even if I could, I doubt I could ever find someone who would be open to a relationship with a married woman, let alone around here in the Midwest.
^ What she said!!
I'm sorry you're "stuck" in the same situation, but SO glad I'm not alone! For the longest time it's been fine, but lately it's been killing me. It's something I can't ignore, but don't know how to resolve it! 0 -
Hmmm I think I have several regrets but I have learned something from each of them. My most recent regret comes from my ex fiance. I in some ways regret ever meeting her but in others I dont. I do regret not having higher self esteem which caused problems in our relationship (I have worked on that for the past 10 weeks in weekly counseling and its definately improving and you can tell). I regret being so giving of myself and of material things and trying to save the world including hers at times before I finally have come to the realization I cant try to save you if you dont want to save yourself. I regret being with someone who lied to me and allowing my ex fiance and other exes to lie to me. Damn I could go on and on with this but I wont....0
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My regret is back when I was in college at Armstrong St in Savannah, Georgia on a 4 year scolorhship (sp?) to play basketball. I left late in the first year all of a sudden and didn't give anyone any notice or chance to talk me out of it. I used the wrong judgement and went back home to Jacksonville Beach to my girl friend, I thought, to live with her again, until she packed up and left me while I was at work at UPS. I should have stayed at college and got my 4 yr degree and done something better with my life instead of running back to her. I was young and dumb then.
Amy now 48 and knows better.0
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