Bound by Adoption

Join

Birthdays

velarneyraptor
velarneyraptor Posts: 94 Member
edited October 2024 in Social Groups
Do other adoptees feel strange on their birthday? Today is my birthday and as long as I can remember, it always felt very bittersweet for me. How do you guys feel about birthdays? In my family birthdays were a big deal and I always felt very uncomfortable :S

Replies

  • Crystal817
    Crystal817 Posts: 2,021 Member
    First and foremost... Happy Birthday special girl!


    I know exactly how you feel about Birthdays! I always wonder if my birth Mom is thinking about me. I mean she must be...!
  • parys1
    parys1 Posts: 2,072 Member
    Happy Birthday!

    Well, I've felt the same on birthdays. As it turns out, my bmother would go into a depression every year around my birthday. My bsibs never knew the reason until she and my bfather divorced. That is when they were told about me (while watching a talk show about long lost siblings :ohwell: ) My bfather told them, they were 15, 13 and 11 at the time.
  • mamapaints
    mamapaints Posts: 206 Member
    Happy belated! My oldest daughter has a hard time on/around her birthday; it's triggering for her, I think esp. since she lived with her first mom for 5 years before she was relinquished to the orphanage.
  • Regmama
    Regmama Posts: 399 Member
    Yes, it's extremely common. You may want to check forums.adoption.com. A prime example in my life (even after meeting my first parents) was about 10 years ago at work they put up posts in the mailroom for birthdays each month. When it came to March I tore mine down and my friend (who's now my husband) was so upset I did that and couldn't understand why. All I could say is that I grew up not knowing about my birth so I never wanted to celebrate it. Now, after finding online support and reading a lot about the adoptee experience (Primal Wound is the last I read and some of it doesn't apply to me but she does touch on birthdays and how adoptees sabotage them) I know that it is normal to feel as I do.

    As a side note, on my last birthday, my bmother's mother died (my bgrandmother), which led to me reconnecting with my bfather (I was the product of a one-night stand but bfather saw the obit with my name and went to the wake hoping to see me, I wasn't there but bmother gave him my number).
This discussion has been closed.

Categories