Tuesday Jokes 1

BIG_Lew

Little Danny watched his daddy's car pass by the school playground & go into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy & Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace. Little Danny found this so exciting that he could hardly contain himself as he ran home & started to tell his mother. "Mommy, I was at the playground & I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look & he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss & then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane..." At this point Mommy cut him off & said, "Danny, this is such an interesting story, let's save the rest of it for dinner time. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight." At the dinner table that night, Mommy asked Little Danny to tell his story. "I was at the playground & I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look & he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane & Daddy started doing the same thing that Mommy & Uncle JP used to do when Daddy was away...

<moral: sometimes you need to just stfu & listen to the whole story

sandrinamsilva

OMG LMAO!

Schmarrn

God and the man

A man visits God and says "God, do you mind if I ask you a few questions?"
God says "No, ask me anything at all."
So the man says "God, you've been around for a very long time, so, for you, how long is a thousand years?"
God replies "For me, a thousand years is only five minutes."
The man then says "That's interesting God. And, for you, how much is a million dollars?"
God replies "For me, a million dollars is only five cents."
The man says "Really? Well then God, could you lend me five cents please?"
God looks at the man, smiles, and says "Of course my son. Just wait five minutes!"