~Chit Chat Thread~ 1/30/2012
ready2beme
Posts: 151 Member
Today is a rough day for me. It's my beautiful older daughter's 2nd birthday. It's the 3 year anniversary of my mother's death (yes I gave birth to my daughter exactly 1 year after she passed.) I also gained a little from the last few days of overages. Its a bummy day. I'm trying to keep my head about me and not let it get to me, but it's hard. The last few years have been pretty nasty for me, but I'm just beginning to see the clouds lift and I don't want to end up the one pouting inside thinking things are still nasty, when they've already cleared up. So I'm trying to treat today as any other day as best I can. I don't want to focus on the bad.
Some days are just harder than others.
Some days are just harder than others.
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Sorry you are struggling. Unfortuanly the bad comes with the good. I am here to help you through it if you need it.0
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Thanks I'm doing pretty good. I'm actually worried more now that I won't eat much than eat too much. I planned to hit my mini elliptical while the girls take a nap today and my son plays on the computer. I'd like to do 30 minutes or so maybe more if I can find something to watch while I do it to keep me motivated. Episodes of the Biggest Loser perhaps? lol0
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I'm sorry to hear that you might have a rough day ahead.
My grandfather passed a few years ago on the day after Halloween. It was a devastating loss for our family. My grandpas favorite candy was Jelly Bellies. So, every year, I go to the store (with the bulk bins) and make a small mix of his favorite flavors. I eat them in his honor and remember the good times we shared.
Loosing him will never be a fun memory. But I know he would not want me going around miserable all the time.
Maybe find something positive you can do to honor your mothers memory?
Good luck!0 -
You know I think I'll tell you guys a little about why this day is so hard for me. My counselor told me its good to talk about it whenever I get up the nerve to let it out (I've kept most of it in for the last 3 years and I'm only just starting to let it go.
3 years ago today my mother died at the age of 51 of Lung and Brain Cancer. She was a long time smoker and it hit her hard. She actually was misdiagnosed for a year with asthma and allergies. It wasn't until things got really bad and my aunt forced my mom to the ER, where she was admitted and they discovered the cancer. That was in Oct. of 2006. I was living in Colorado at the time and had no way to be here in florida to see her. We didn't move back here until July of 2007 and I spent as much time as I could with her and helping her. She went into remission sometime in early/mid 2008. Then in sept she took a nose dive. That's when they discovered it had spread to her brain and her liver. It slowly got worse from there. We had our last Christmas together and about a week before she died she was placed in Hospice House. It has been the single most devastating event of my life. That was about the time I stopped losing weight. I stopped caring. I lost all motivation. And I've been there ever since. I had 2 more children since then and have been diagnosed with anxiety and depression. I'm not taking meds at the moment, and for the most part haven't needed them.
With the birth of my daughter in June and my husband getting the big V, I no longer have the excuse of "Why bother if I'm just going to get pregnant again and gain it all back?" So here I am I can do this. I will do this. I know my mother would want me to have this. I'm going for it.0
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