what are you thinking while binging?
Replies
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Right after I shut down the computer (no more access to MFP)
-DONT! STOP! KEEP WALKING! GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN!
-just a few bites, i have 50 calories left today!
- i worked out a lot, im sure I burned more than the calories i recorded
- well, going over by 100 isnt going to ruin the whole day
-omg that tastes so good
-impossible to stop
-you suck, you fatass, you loser
-ugh my stomach hurts
-something salty
-something sweet
-something salty
-something sweet
-now my stomach really hurts.
-hate hate hate hate hate
-well i got that out of my system.... so...tomorrow.... tomorrow i will have control. tomorrow is a new day.
basically I start with trying/ pretending to have self control, then i justify what i am doing, then i get so mad at myself, then i keep eating because i feel like a lost cause.
I alternate between sweet and salty type foods... not sure why thats just the way the cravings come on.
After really being angry and hating myself, somehow i always feel so strong for the next day, and I cant wait to wake up and have another chance.
Generally, i screw that up too.
You summed up well for me. This is exactly how I feel. I don't binge regularly. But, when crisis strikes (feeling the void), it the exactly what you described above. How did you overcome this out of control behavior ? I am still struggling. I want to lose 20lbs to get to my goal weight. This binging is negating all my hard work.0 -
Usually that I will have to purge it afterwards, once I get past a certain point.
Or, that I might as well finish all of it to get it out of the way, and cease buying it in the future.0 -
Exactly.Right after I shut down the computer (no more access to MFP)
-DONT! STOP! KEEP WALKING! GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN!
-just a few bites, i have 50 calories left today!
- i worked out a lot, im sure I burned more than the calories i recorded
- well, going over by 100 isnt going to ruin the whole day
-omg that tastes so good
-impossible to stop
-you suck, you fatass, you loser
-ugh my stomach hurts
-something salty
-something sweet
-something salty
-something sweet
-now my stomach really hurts.
-hate hate hate hate hate
-well i got that out of my system.... so...tomorrow.... tomorrow i will have control. tomorrow is a new day.
basically I start with trying/ pretending to have self control, then i justify what i am doing, then i get so mad at myself, then i keep eating because i feel like a lost cause.
I alternate between sweet and salty type foods... not sure why thats just the way the cravings come on.
After really being angry and hating myself, somehow i always feel so strong for the next day, and I cant wait to wake up and have another chance.
Generally, i screw that up too.
I'm so surprised that others go through this, too. I've never actually met someone who understands. Most people think it's as easy as 'quit eating'. It's not. I used to smoke. I quit smoking....that was easy compared to this. I've been struggling with food my whole life.0 -
so many of these postings echo what I think. I think all these contradictory things! ...
- this is soooooo good
- this crap is awful - why am I eating it?
- I suck
- I'm soooo full
- I'm ashamed
- I love being full
- I can't let this go to waste
- I'll never lose weight so I might as well enjoy this
- I'll always be alone so I might as well enjoy this
- I'm full but it tastes too good to stop eating
- I should just purge or take a laxative (things I used to do, but don't do any more)
- if I finish it now it won't be around to tempt me tomorrow
- my day sucked, so I deserve this (I was nice and sweet to people I wanted to punch in the face; I did crap I hate doing, etc)
- eating like this will kill me - why am I doing this??
... all while thinking of the next bite - and usually either watching TV or driving.0 -
Right after I shut down the computer (no more access to MFP)
-DONT! STOP! KEEP WALKING! GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN!
-just a few bites, i have 50 calories left today!
- i worked out a lot, im sure I burned more than the calories i recorded
- well, going over by 100 isnt going to ruin the whole day
-omg that tastes so good
-impossible to stop
-you suck, you fatass, you loser
-ugh my stomach hurts
-something salty
-something sweet
-something salty
-something sweet
-now my stomach really hurts.
-hate hate hate hate hate
-well i got that out of my system.... so...tomorrow.... tomorrow i will have control. tomorrow is a new day.
basically I start with trying/ pretending to have self control, then i justify what i am doing, then i get so mad at myself, then i keep eating because i feel like a lost cause.
I alternate between sweet and salty type foods... not sure why thats just the way the cravings come on.
After really being angry and hating myself, somehow i always feel so strong for the next day, and I cant wait to wake up and have another chance.
Generally, i screw that up too.
You summed up well for me. This is exactly how I feel. I don't binge regularly. But, when crisis strikes (feeling the void), it the exactly what you described above. How did you overcome this out of control behavior ? I am still struggling. I want to lose 20lbs to get to my goal weight. This binging is negating all my hard work.
i really wish i could say i overcame this.... i thought i did. Through 14 months of WW this behavior completely disappeared for me. it came back and I am so ashamed. honestly, I am quite happy in my life (or so I think) so I cant really point the finger at the usual suspects (stress, unhappiness, lonliness, etc). if I ever figure it out though, i will definitely share!0 -
Exactly.
I'm so surprised that others go through this, too. I've never actually met someone who understands. Most people think it's as easy as 'quit eating'. It's not. I used to smoke. I quit smoking....that was easy compared to this. I've been struggling with food my whole life.
ive wished so many times that eating wasnt actually necessary so i could just avoid it all together. one bite can open the door to disaster.0 -
I can't find the quote anymore but someone described trying to be conscious and mindful about what she was eating. She raised such a good point.
Mindfulness, this is exactly where I would like to be! being mindful and conscious about everything I eat (and do, but that's a different issue ;-)). Do you have any tips on how to get there though? because food just seems to automatically appear in my mouth!0 -
[Geneen says in her book (I really like her books, but that's just me) to become conscious and mindful when eating and I've been doing this...it helps to see when I'm in binge mode and then I can decide to continue or stop. If I'm going to binge, I might as well enjoy the food or all I'm doing is torturing myself. This actually has helped me a lot. I torture myself enough after a binge, I don't need to torture myself during it as well.
here is the quote by Greekygirl. It sounds like you're giving yourself a choice which sound slike a good start. Does that mean more control?0 -
Wonderful responses... definitely a bunch of people here who "get it." Love the person who wrote about salty/sweet... that's so me! I tend to be mostly unconscious... once I've given in I don't even bother trying to stop. How about this one... have you ever microwaved something that was gonna take a few minutes... and HAD to have something while you waited for it to be done?0
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Painful and comforting to read this thread.
I think about everything everyone said.
Also - I'm so sad and anxious as the food of the moment is coming to an end. I never want the binge to end. It tastes so good - and feels so good. When it ends its like an emptiness and sadness mixed with guilt and self hatred. I know its coming, but if I can just keep eating, I can put it off.0 -
Wonderful responses... definitely a bunch of people here who "get it." Love the person who wrote about salty/sweet... that's so me! I tend to be mostly unconscious... once I've given in I don't even bother trying to stop. How about this one... have you ever microwaved something that was gonna take a few minutes... and HAD to have something while you waited for it to be done?
YES!!0 -
It's very weird the emotions I feel or think.
"Stop eating this, stop eating this" says my mind but I do not stop eating.
Calling myself names in my head as I eat the bad stuff.
Sometimes I think about how good it tastes and how I have not had said food in FOREVER.
Sometimes I think how what I am eating doesn't even taste all that good, that it really wasn't worth it, but I sometimes keep eating it.
I think that this one time is ok, that I will not let this happen again. But it happens again sometimes.
The feeling of sadness, shame, hatred for myself, feelings of failure, all that stuff that comes afterwards is awful. Each time it has happened I tell myself, NEVER again. Not just the poor food choices in the moment but the emotions that come after are killer. I say I will not put myself through that but then it happens again. I don't know why. I know how BAD that moment feels too...0 -
The strange thing is that for me binge eating is almost a way of turning my brain off, not thinking anything, and just feeling comforted.
Not strange - I do the same thing! I think that's what it's about - escaping, numbing, not feeling, not thinking.0 -
Painful and comforting to read this thread.
I think about everything everyone said.
Also - I'm so sad and anxious as the food of the moment is coming to an end. I never want the binge to end. It tastes so good - and feels so good. When it ends its like an emptiness and sadness mixed with guilt and self hatred. I know its coming, but if I can just keep eating, I can put it off.
This exactly. I will go out of my way during a binge to get more food (even to the store), so that feeling will not end. When the food is gone, I feel nothing but hate and sickness. Those are the worst moments.0 -
I normally don't think. It's like I grab a bag of chips and the next thing I know the entire bag is gone. And they I say oh well, might as well eat bad for the rest of the day. I'll fix it tomorrow. Then tomorrow never comes.0
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"I don't care."
"Hurry up before someone sees me or wants some for themselves."0 -
Please note I have posted a monthly conversation thread for us: See link below and please share because we are not alone in this struggle with binge eating:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/654612-be-support-group-conversation-thread-20120 -
"Well, this day is screwed, oh well."
"I'm such a fat pig, why am I doing this??"
"Once I eat it, it won't tempt me anymore and I won't buy anymore."0 -
Right after I shut down the computer (no more access to MFP)
-DONT! STOP! KEEP WALKING! GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN!
-just a few bites, i have 50 calories left today!
- i worked out a lot, im sure I burned more than the calories i recorded
- well, going over by 100 isnt going to ruin the whole day
-omg that tastes so good
-impossible to stop
-you suck, you fatass, you loser
-ugh my stomach hurts
-something salty
-something sweet
-something salty
-something sweet
-now my stomach really hurts.
-hate hate hate hate hate
-well i got that out of my system.... so...tomorrow.... tomorrow i will have control. tomorrow is a new day.
basically I start with trying/ pretending to have self control, then i justify what i am doing, then i get so mad at myself, then i keep eating because i feel like a lost cause.
I alternate between sweet and salty type foods... not sure why thats just the way the cravings come on.
After really being angry and hating myself, somehow i always feel so strong for the next day, and I cant wait to wake up and have another chance.
Generally, i screw that up too.
wow....yes, this is me!0 -
"Well, this day is screwed, oh well."
"I'm such a fat pig, why am I doing this??"
"Once I eat it, it won't tempt me anymore and I won't buy anymore."
Yes, me too!!!0 -
Most of my binges occur when there is a large amt of food available (bbqs, restaurants & buffets, baby showers) since I don't keep any, what I call, trigger foods in my home. It happens when I've gone over my calorie amt. for the day. I'm thinking:
-well I've gone over, so I might as well keep going
-I don't get to eat these types of foods on a regular basis, so I might as well have a few bites of each.
-Just one more (cookie, piece of pie, hanful of chips.......), which always ends up a few more.
-I notice sometimes I rebel against the fact that I have to watch what I'm eating (the it's not fair mentality)
-Sometimes, the I DON'T CARE mentality.
-I'll start over tomorrow.
The worst part is how I feel after I've eaten that way. I try to remember that feeling when I feel the binge monster creeping up on me.0
