Pretending to be normal

SummerSkier

I do this.

I've never been able to really confide in a BF or lover about this issue I have. it's actually nice to find a group who has many of the same experiences and symptoms which I do.

Part of the reason I broke up with my last BF is he was SO harsh towards heavier women. He asked me once where I hid all my fat pictures (which I don't really have), but at that point I knew we were headed towards nowhereville. I couldn't imagine ever telling or letting him find out about the binging, and I knew I wouldn't be able to live like that.

I have only ever confided in one GF and I don't think she really believed me. I am not a purger but I am definitely a binger. My longer relationship (16 yr) I did attempt to tell him several times, but again, I am pretty successful at hiding binging. He would just get mad at me for not being hungry when we went out, not knowing that I had binged an hour before on junk so I "literally" was stuffed.

I guess I just feel like it's a bit of a stigma, and no one will really ever love me if they knew who I really was. Seriously, what guy wants to get involved with a girl with an eating disorder if they know about it "up front".

My last 2 relationships lasted 2 years apiece but each time I started out really thin and ended up gaining about 10-15 pounds before they ended. Mostly due to going out to eat vs binging.

I can be "normal" for months, sometimes years, but I don't think I really am, I just pretend....

I guess it doesn't really matter, but is anyone else really good at pretending to be normal? Or maybe I am just fooling myself that I am fooling everyone. LOL.

MJ7910

i think we all do this to some extent. we just dont' want people to know how bad we can get. most people see me and don't even think i could do that. i tried to tell my SO and he says "well i think a binger is...." like he doesn't want to face that i do that. it might not be one food but eating a million different things and not being able to stop seems like a binge to me!

apesid

I've pretended to be "normal" for a LONG time. I only just recently started talking to my husband about it (with in the last two months) and I'd been having DAILY binges for at least a year and a half - and more sporadic binges for years before that. I've never talked with anyone else about it. My husband still doesn't really understand, and he'll say "Just don't do it." like it's easy to control. BUT he does try to empathize and has been better about understanding, and he does try.

I think having this group and MFP has really helped me to see that it does happen to other people to, and that I'm not alone.

InTheInbetween

Yes . . The "pretending to be normal" part. . . . Nobody knows what's going on behind the scenes. I've tried to talk to my husband about it but I can't quite bring myself to explain what I actually do. The binges are always in secret, usually in my car on the way to or from somewhere and I throw away all the "evidence". He really has no idea what's actually going on there and I just can't bring myself to tell him. It's so repulsive to me I can't stand the thought of him knowing about it. He knows that I have "food issues" and he says he wants to understand but even he knows it's nearly impossible to "get it" unless it's something you do and live with every day. Honestly I have a really hard time even saying the word "binge". Trying to explain it is just impossible. I even have a hard time discussing it with my therapist and that's what he's there for!

BeeSunny

I've pretended to be "normal" for a LONG time. I only just recently started talking to my husband about it (with in the last two months) and I'd been having DAILY binges for at least a year and a half - and more sporadic binges for years before that. I've never talked with anyone else about it. My husband still doesn't really understand, and he'll say "Just don't do it." like it's easy to control. BUT he does try to empathize and has been better about understanding, and he does try.

I think having this group and MFP has really helped me to see that it does happen to other people to, and that I'm not alone.

Same here just talked to my husband about it last month. But he was very supportive and we compared his alcoholism to my binge eating, unbelievable how they compare. He is in recovery but has been drinking beer a couple of weekends since his last recovery, it sucks he thinks he can only drink a 6 pack and be fine!!!! I am still bingeing, I am very emotional and find comfort in my bingeing, but still feel the same!!!

BeeSunny

I do this.

I've never been able to really confide in a BF or lover about this issue I have. it's actually nice to find a group who has many of the same experiences and symptoms which I do.

Part of the reason I broke up with my last BF is he was SO harsh towards heavier women. He asked me once where I hid all my fat pictures (which I don't really have), but at that point I knew we were headed towards nowhereville. I couldn't imagine ever telling or letting him find out about the binging, and I knew I wouldn't be able to live like that.

I have only ever confided in one GF and I don't think she really believed me. I am not a purger but I am definitely a binger. My longer relationship (16 yr) I did attempt to tell him several times, but again, I am pretty successful at hiding binging. He would just get mad at me for not being hungry when we went out, not knowing that I had binged an hour before on junk so I "literally" was stuffed.

I guess I just feel like it's a bit of a stigma, and no one will really ever love me if they knew who I really was. Seriously, what guy wants to get involved with a girl with an eating disorder if they know about it "up front".

My last 2 relationships lasted 2 years apiece but each time I started out really thin and ended up gaining about 10-15 pounds before they ended. Mostly due to going out to eat vs binging.

I can be "normal" for months, sometimes years, but I don't think I really am, I just pretend....

I guess it doesn't really matter, but is anyone else really good at pretending to be normal? Or maybe I am just fooling myself that I am fooling everyone. LOL.

Dear I hear you!!! One of the most freeing experience I have had is tell my husband I binge, he had no clue, been doing it for years and kept it all to myself. When I recently told him I felt free, I still get anxiety over it and try to hide it, but gradually telling him if I binge. I think you need to be honest with yourself and whom ever you have a relationship with. It will make you feel better, if they don't like it let them go I am sure they have their own "closet' secrets they didn't share with you!! Hang in there and keep posting on here the more you talk about it the more you will feel free!!!! :flowerforyou: