I dont understand my lack of success with dating

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  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
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    That's ridiculous..

    I wonder if it's the same for latinos/ latinas?

    I don't think so... I've had quite a few guys get that "turned, off eyes glazed" look when they're flirting with me, ask my background, and I tell them I'm half Italian and half Black. Usually they'll say, "Oh, I thought you were Puerto Rican or Latina,"and they'll move on. Nowadays, I usually just say I'm part Italian, and that goes over better. But anyone who knows me more than a few weeks will quickly discover I'm part Black because when you live in a place that still has "white doors" and "black doors" it's hard not to get upset.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    What kind of girls are you going for? Maybe its your type or your target group that you need to rethink?
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    Yeah also- you say you want a girl who is FIT and you are a trainer- but you only have one pic of your FACESUPERCLOSEUP - you better post a body shot if you've got body preferences on your radar. Also- lol @ your iPhone case? really? ahaaha
  • mnwalkingqueen
    mnwalkingqueen Posts: 1,299 Member
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    Don't take this the wrong way - you asked for honest feed back.

    It's not your looks... it's you. Your profile comes across as someone who is very superficial, about the appearances and the money. The questions you've answered show a lack of trust and compassion. Not qualities very many women are looking for.

    As an online dater myself. I agree you are good looking but I felt after reading your profile that you are very materialistic (personally huge turn off for me). You talked alot about money and the list of things you couldn't live without were all material items. I think you were clear that you have lots of time on the weekends so I don't think the working part is an issue. I thought it was weird that you put in there that you up date from the city your working in. I just got an very full of himself and material things vibe when reading your profile.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    ^ this
  • Monti_e_lmt
    Monti_e_lmt Posts: 189 Member
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    Ok . so I read you profile .. it seems like you work an awful lot .. travel alot during the week and then work on the weekends too? No wonder you can't meet anyone!

    I thought it had enough funny in it and enough serious in it.

    Honestly I think that you sound intimidating. Like no one would measure up to your high standards. Couple that with the fact that you seem to be gone alot .. there might be your answer?

    ^agree. I wouldn't think I was good enough. I have a career but sometimes it is slow at work, and I feel like you would judge me for not making good money like you. It is really nice that you are proud of what you have BUT you sound a little concerned with possessions and money. That will be fine if you find a girl that is the same way, and there are plenty out there, but this is coming from the most down to earth person you can think of. Also, the retard thing put a flag up, maybe you could say you are looking for an intelligent person. You do seem picky, BUT I can't call you on that because I have specific things I want as well, but I've been alone for so long that I am letting those fall away and accepting that I am passing over good men, or scaring them off. I think my appearance has a lot to do with it too. As far as appearance goes, you are very clean cut and attractive, you look like you may like order and cleanliness. Just evaluating.
  • foremant86
    foremant86 Posts: 1,115 Member
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    hate to break it to you but a woman isn't likely to respond because you travel so much and are only in a town for a day or two or whatever.

    Anytime I've ever gotten a message on a dating site from a guy who was only in the area for work i immediately thought "booty call"

    Odds are women are thinking the same way. I would recommend sticking to finding women in the area you currently live in.

    also I wouldn't put a word in bold and capitalize it when it's not spelled right - PREDICABLE (predictable)


    You talk a lot about money and material possessions. that's a pretty huge turn off for anyone who isn't a gold digger
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    this entire thread is proof that girls care less about work and money than the stigma you drop on us.
  • sofaking6
    sofaking6 Posts: 4,589 Member
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    Overall good IMHO.

    Agree with the pic taken in front of the mirror. Perhaps try to put 3 shots of yourself in different situation (face, sport?, at a bar?)... stuff like that.

    I would eliminate the negative vibe from your (overall) good profile:
    Don't put that kind of stuff:
    "What can I say to make this interesting ?"
    "What I am NOT good at is online dating!"
    "Totally different culture." is kinda scary...
    "What else do I need ?"... Why are you here then?
    "VERY high intelligence" Really? :noway: You must have a big head then.

    I couldn't agree more with all of this..get rid of the negativity and superiority. Get rid of the scary/intense picture and get some shots of you smiling and doing activities with other people.

    Also..for me I would have stopped right where you say you're changing your profile city to wherever you're travelling that week..it makes it sound like you're looking for a string of out of town quickies. Stick with your city and write something about how you're out of town during the week and so it makes you want your weekends to be really special, something like that?
  • AllanMisner
    AllanMisner Posts: 4,140 Member
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    this entire thread is proof that girls care less about work and money than the stigma you drop on us.

    No, women still seem on one extreme or the other. They either only care about money, or they don't and chase the under-employed bad boy. There are very few women who seem to understand there is a balance.
  • Gionni
    Gionni Posts: 77 Member
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    I agree.. I really enjoyed reading this thread. I am glad that I started it :). I honestly am I not a materialistic work a holic like my profile says. I had a much nicer profile before but a friend of mine that has had great success (so he says) basically wrote the profile for me. This is so hard... but I will endure! One of my goals today to redo my profile based on everything you guys said. The interesting thing is that everyone was honest and helpful to a complete stranger l. I am going to post my new profile and get your feedback! If I get stuck I may be back to ask what I should write.. LET BUILD THIS TOGETHER :)

    Thanks for all the compliments by the way !!
  • lorro
    lorro Posts: 917 Member
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    Agree with much of what's been said. You seem like a very nice guy but not date-worthy. I bet you have a lovely smile too - use it! Just wanted to add - I think you mentioned someone you not having met a nice girl on that dating site. Best not include that, it's too intimidating for anyone new who may be worried about whether they would measure up - or they may write you off as big headed. Try not to let your frustration with the whole process show. Best take a break if that's how you are feeling and try other ways or return when you have less invested in it having to be a success.
  • acasey0123
    acasey0123 Posts: 640 Member
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    your profile makes you seem to busy to do anything else....like each week a new place...youre thinking of the job promotion...I would be looking for what you like to do for fun and that and more of your activities