Hey, more online dating crap!!! :grumble:
jaxdiablo
Posts: 580
So since we are discussing online sizes and other crap I had some questions...
When I was at my biggest I was at 335+ (I couldn't weigh in on the wii fit), I'm now down to 268, since I started with MFP I'm down from 305. I've got about 30-40 pounds to go for my goal weight is it ok to put myself at "A Few Extra Pounds"?
Also, when it comes to sizes am I being a horrible person that since I'm a certain amount over the "average" I'd like a woman in the same place as I am. I wear a 38 (2 sizes above a 34), I wear a 1xlt shirt, and a 52R jacket. I'd like a woman who is a bit above average, and actively working to get in shape, and smaller than me. I don't think that's feasible though, or at least that women who are like that aren't into guys like me. If they are, I can't seem to find one. We need a thread for just critiquing dating profiles so we can get some input. lol I feel like mine's just horrendous.
When I was at my biggest I was at 335+ (I couldn't weigh in on the wii fit), I'm now down to 268, since I started with MFP I'm down from 305. I've got about 30-40 pounds to go for my goal weight is it ok to put myself at "A Few Extra Pounds"?
Also, when it comes to sizes am I being a horrible person that since I'm a certain amount over the "average" I'd like a woman in the same place as I am. I wear a 38 (2 sizes above a 34), I wear a 1xlt shirt, and a 52R jacket. I'd like a woman who is a bit above average, and actively working to get in shape, and smaller than me. I don't think that's feasible though, or at least that women who are like that aren't into guys like me. If they are, I can't seem to find one. We need a thread for just critiquing dating profiles so we can get some input. lol I feel like mine's just horrendous.
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Show me yours and I'll show you mine. lol0
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My profile is like my personality...
Colorful and happy lol.0 -
I'm gonna need your e-mail to do that... oh, my profile... my bad... >.> let me see if I can look it up. I'm at the office, they frown on dating sites on work computers.0
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oh this will be fun!
I haven't done the online dating thing in awhile, but I promised a friend when she met her weight goal I'd go into it with her as moral support. So I'll post mine (when she gets to her goal). And maybe I'll convince her to post hers too. If you send me your link I will certainly tell you what I think.0 -
Har har har lol0
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So since I can't seem to get to the link for it. Can anyone go to pof.com and do a username search for LookingForMoreJax and post the link for it. lol I feel so useless with a limited internet connection. :-P0
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Okay felt too exposed haha0
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Jax...
www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=370872590 -
Thank you ma'am!Jax...
www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=370872590 -
You're missing the point Jax. Many of us need to wean ourselves off of online dating. Online dating and bars/clubs are the bottom of the barrel places for meeting compatible singles. The best ways of meeting people are through your interests, your day to day life and the existing people in your life. Just how people did things prior to the early 2000s, when online dating finally became de-stigmatized.0
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Ya know DM, I don't disagree with you. Unfortunately I'm completely and utterly shy in person. I have never approached a woman in a social situation in my life. I have little to no self-esteem, and well, at least online I can fake it. Or attempt to. I can't pull that off in person. If I thought it was possible for me to actually approach a woman in a social setting I'd be all over it like a fat kid on cake (and trust me, as much cake as I've eaten I know how that works).0
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Actually, it just occurred to me that this might be true.The best ways of meeting people are through your interests, your day to day life and the existing people in your life. Just how people did things prior to the early 2000s, when online dating finally became de-stigmatized.
Online dating was probably simpler before it became de-stigmatized in the sense you knew you were going to meet like-minded people (e.g. shy people/geeks...), when only the said people used it.
It has definitely lost some of its meaning now.0 -
You're missing the point Jax. Many of us need to wean ourselves off of online dating. Online dating and bars/clubs are the bottom of the barrel places for meeting compatible singles. The best ways of meeting people are through your interests, your day to day life and the existing people in your life. Just how people did things prior to the early 2000s, when online dating finally became de-stigmatized.
I just started online dating.. so far so good. But I can't imagine staying on there forever.
I hardly ever come across a guy I'd want to ask me out in person.. maybe I'm not looking around enough? If guys ever come over to me it's to buy me a drink and get my number which about 95% I don't.
Right now the only guy I wish would say something to me is this one at the gym.0 -
OK quickly about the profile:
"picture with your mum": No! It's cute and all, but really? Do you still live in the basement.
"picture of your face": we can see your arms. Ask a friend to take a picture of you and that'll look slightly cooler (you can ask that redhair girl on your other pic........... :sick: :sick: :sick: is she single?!)
3rd pic: Really good. :sick: :sick: :sick: Jealous.
4th pic: doesn't show much of your life (miss a bit of environment), but full body shot is fair.
Job: financial advisor => finance
Not sure if mentioning all the geeky stuff is a win in your interests. I'm torn on this. It's not as shameful as it used to be as everyone now pretends they are a geek, but none of the people who pretend are actually true geeks (if you know what I mean), so it kinda sucks to say it openly.
I'd like to get women's input actually. Cos it's all nice and well, but even though it conveys a "nice, decent guy" feeling, not sure how far that gets you.
"tattooed (getting more, they can be covered in a long sleeve shirt and jeans, shorts and a t-shirt, not so much)" - I lol'ed. Just show them man, women are suckers for this (and here is your 5th pic
). Well, OK I know I would (bits of them). It conveys a lot about yourself.
"so I've got that going for me." gives a negative vibe. Don't be ashamed of what you are, don't insinuate doubt in people's mind. Things are complicated enough. So yes, try to keep a positive vibe.
Not sure if I would say that: "I'm down approx. 66 pounds from my highest weight, I've got about 30 more to go, I think I fit into the a few extra pounds at this point." but that's up to you. What do other people think?
General feeling: I wouldn't say *amazing*, but gives a nice impression of a calm, regular man (boring?). Kind of hard to be struck by lightning when reading your profile either.
Btw, my profile is 10x worse than yours (just trying to give my opinion, for what it's worth)... I just don't manage yet to get that "wow" factor in my profile.0 -
Iv tried online dating for 3 yrs..POF - i'm actually still on there but only get on when im really board. I have probably been on 20 dates on there between when i lived in Houston and Dallas. There were 2 i wanted to date but i will only chase for as long as i can. Im like a cheetah I will fight long and hard but eventually i dont have enough energy left to chase. The other problem is most people on a free site like that isnt looking for a ltr. Plus i always had my profile pic current and the girls never looked like their pics. I know most of us guys are shallow but it works both ways.0
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Okay I'll put mine back up since there are more folks on right now lol.
www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=326573390 -
What? You mean women need to put actual - how do you call them again - "words" in their profiles to get messages?Okay I'll put mine back up since there are more folks on right now lol.
<link to profile>
You must be kidding me... :laugh:
Might have a go at it later after a few other people, otherwise I'm going to steal that thread.0 -
I get messages from guys saying I seem like fun cool (which I totally am).. but wonder if I need more substance in my profile. I just figure that once we start messaging they see I can be serious but fun.
I feel like I'm on American Idol.0 -
I've never had a date that DIDN'T start online. Seriously. 30, single, and pretty much a home body. We're supposed to meet people through our interests, but I'm a geek (see thread about higher education.) My interests (and most of my friends) are accessed through this damn keyboard.0
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I get messages from guys saying I seem like fun cool (which I totally am).. but wonder if I need more substance in my profile. I just figure that once we start messaging they see I can be serious but fun.
I feel like I'm on American Idol.
most guys don't read profiles at first, it's all about the pictures.0 -
I get messages from guys saying I seem like fun cool (which I totally am).. but wonder if I need more substance in my profile. I just figure that once we start messaging they see I can be serious but fun.
I feel like I'm on American Idol.
most guys don't read profiles at first, it's all about the pictures.
If a guy writes me just about my pictures.. I automatically delete, even if I was interested.
The guys I have taken the time to write back (if I'm interested) are the ones that write something about my profile. I was talking to a gf about it this past weekend and she said she does the same thing.
Heck I'll even write a guy I'm completely NOT interested if he took the time to read my profile and write me with a "thank you for taking the time to read my profile".0 -
I have had decent success through my profiles, though I almost exclusively have found success on OK Cupid. Other sites are pretty disappointing when it comes to worthwhile conversations and connections.
I think part of the problem here is when you have such a specific type, you have to be prepared to be subject to other people having a specific type as well. That's one great thing about online dating; you can run specifics and weed out the people you are sure you won't find attractive.
With me, I find it's not so much that I'm bigger, so much as that I'm very tall for a woman, that holds me back. Meeting people in regular forums just doesn't work. The tallest guys I know in person are usually my friends' husbands or something. I *wish* I could find a tall guy that was also working towards healthy lifestyle goals, that thought I was pretty and interesting, but it does seem hopeless sometimes...
Anyway, my suggestion is to open yourself up to possibilities. Just because a woman might be at goal weight doesn't mean she won't work alongside you to get healthier, and if a woman is bigger, she might be ready to work with you to get on track. Some of us ladies need a partner to inspire us to be healthier. I know that's my case! I also do better and lose weight and such when I'm in a relationship than when I'm not.0 -
Here's mine.
http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=36592553
I know I need to put up more photos but the only full body ones I have are either in my underwear for progress pictures or with my son. I am so not putting up either of those. lol0 -
I have little to no self-esteem, and well, at least online I can fake it. Or attempt to. I can't pull that off in person.
So what are some things you can do to work on this? It would be hard to convince a woman you can be the strong man that she needs if your self-esteem suffers... losing weight and getting in shape are great first steps, but I've known many overweight men who were still confident in who they are. Baby steps...0 -
What? You mean women need to put actual - how do you call them again - "words" in their profiles to get messages?Okay I'll put mine back up since there are more folks on right now lol.
<link to profile>
You must be kidding me... :laugh:
Might have a go at it later after a few other people, otherwise I'm going to steal that thread.
Oh... so that's why I get the "what up sexy" and "you're hot" BS.... they don't know how to read!!!
LOL
I seem to only find the guys that talk BS... call me Sexy, and baby and all the other crap before they have ever talked to me in person.. That's just ridiculous men. Don't do it! Be respectful! Women have names. And it doesn't start with a B.
Also, the men that I think are married and or have girlfriends they want to F*#K around on. Or just jerks that want to hook up/ booty call... which if fine if thats what you are there looking for. But lay it out there... And if you read my profile you would know thats not why I am here!!
I talked to a great guy last night... soo much in common... he is tall, likes tall girls... very similar interests, ambitious... Seems great.. asked me out Sat night... then he just went offline mid conversation... no return. Nada...
His wife probably walked in... Such a bummer. *kitten*.
Ok... So here's mine... critique all you like...
http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=213540970 -
Ya know DM, I don't disagree with you. Unfortunately I'm completely and utterly shy in person. I have never approached a woman in a social situation in my life. I have little to no self-esteem, and well, at least online I can fake it. Or attempt to. I can't pull that off in person. If I thought it was possible for me to actually approach a woman in a social setting I'd be all over it like a fat kid on cake (and trust me, as much cake as I've eaten I know how that works).
Jax, I looked at your profile... you are a handsome guy. As a single woman, I wouldn't want to see mens photos with other scantly clad women...
And as someone else said I think.. I wouldn't out how much you have lost or how much you have to go.
Something I have learned in my online dating life... it's easy to BS...and some can see threw it.
My opinion is... if you plan on actually meeting real live people... then be real and honest in your profile. Otherwise meeting in person, could be a let down. Some women like Shy guys... there is an attractive quality... a sweetness.
Just as overly confident becomes *kitten*-ish.
For me... I look for someone with common interests... if you can make me laugh by your profile intro... that's a biggie. But like someone else said... if I know you actually read my profile.. and have an intelligent and respect msg to send to me... wow.. blow my socks off. I will give you the time of day... and more.
I wish you the best of luck!
Actions speak louder than words... and honesty is the best policy!!!0 -
Jax - and anybody else for that matter...
On the photos: Are you trying to attract women, or impress other guys? The pictures of you with the gussied up women, and even the full-body shot where you've trimmed one out, give the appearance of bragging and showing off. Personally, I would look at those shots and think "if that's what he's looking for, no thanks." and move on.
Just my two pennies.0 -
I agree.. I can't see the profiles very good since I'm doing it on my phone but I ALWAYS dismiss guys that have pictures of themselves with exes (yes I have come across some where the picture is with a woman their embracing and the caption says "Me and my Ex".. I mean there is something called cropping if you love that picture so much) or with scantily clad women. Why would I put a picture on a dating site of myself with a guy half dressed?
Also, I hate the mirror pics. I dismiss those as well. Oh and the sitting in the car pictures too. These type of pictures say that you don't have an imagination, that you're lazy, etc.
And I dismiss guys who take pictures with no shirt on... unless they're outside jumping off a cliff or fishing. To me it's just showing off and lame.
Sounds like I dismiss a lot of guys just by their pictures.. I do!
To me the best pictures are a body shot, a face shot, and a picture of you doing something fun.0 -
I agree.. I can't see the profiles very good since I'm doing it on my phone but I ALWAYS dismiss guys that have pictures of themselves with exes (yes I have come across some of those.. I mean there is something called cropping if you love that picture so much) or with scantily clad women. Why would I put a picture on a dating site of myself with a guy half dressed?
Also, I hate the mirror pics. I dismiss those as well. Oh and the sitting in the car pictures too. These type of pictures say that you don't have an imagination, that you're lazy, etc.
And I dismiss guys who take pictures with no shirt on... unless they're outside jumping off a cliff or fishing. To me it's just showing off and lame.
Sounds like I dismiss a lot of guys just by their pictures.. I do!
To me the best pictures are a body shot, a face shot, and a picture of you doing something fun.
ME TOO!!
If you are taking a picture of yourself in the mirror... it tells me that you can't ask your wife/GF/kids to take a pic of you for the dating website you want to cheat on.... or that you have no friends. All of which I don't want any thing to do with...PASS!!!
LOL
LOL... ya know... to be single... maybe we shouldn't be so picky...LOL
Nehhh.... I aint' settlein'.0 -
Just an FYI on the pics. I do business consulting for a burlesque group and those are performers in the group. Also they were doing a show /w a group called Hellzapoppin which is a side show type carnival show. I was there to help out and take pictures of the performers. They just happened to be the most recent pictures I had of myself. All the ladies in the pictures are just friends, or performers. They aren't "gussied up", they are wearing costumes for their acts.0
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