Hey, more online dating crap!!! :grumble:
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Just an FYI on the pics. I do business consulting for a burlesque group and those are performers in the group. Also they were doing a show /w a group called Hellzapoppin which is a side show type carnival show. I was there to help out and take pictures of the performers. They just happened to be the most recent pictures I had of myself. All the ladies in the pictures are just friends, or performers. They aren't "gussied up", they are wearing costumes for their acts.
Then maybe you should explain that on the profile... and yes, they are "gussied up." Whether it's for an act or not doesn't change their appearance.0 -
Sounds like I dismiss a lot of guys just by their pictures.. I do!
what's wrong with that?? (ducking the 2x4s that are about to come swinging)0 -
Just an FYI on the pics. I do business consulting for a burlesque group and those are performers in the group. Also they were doing a show /w a group called Hellzapoppin which is a side show type carnival show. I was there to help out and take pictures of the performers. They just happened to be the most recent pictures I had of myself. All the ladies in the pictures are just friends, or performers. They aren't "gussied up", they are wearing costumes for their acts.
If it were the other way around and I worked with men dressed up in costume (aka half naked) I still wouldn't put those pictures up on a dating site.0 -
Not a damn thing. :-P lolSounds like I dismiss a lot of guys just by their pictures.. I do!
what's wrong with that?? (ducking the 2x4s that are about to come swinging)0 -
Sounds like I dismiss a lot of guys just by their pictures.. I do!
what's wrong with that?? (ducking the 2x4s that are about to come swinging)
Absolutely nothing!!!!!!0 -
I guess since it's something that I'm pretty involved in I'd rather find a woman who had some understanding of it and was comfortable enough with herself that she wouldn't freak out over me hanging around scantily clad women regularly.Just an FYI on the pics. I do business consulting for a burlesque group and those are performers in the group. Also they were doing a show /w a group called Hellzapoppin which is a side show type carnival show. I was there to help out and take pictures of the performers. They just happened to be the most recent pictures I had of myself. All the ladies in the pictures are just friends, or performers. They aren't "gussied up", they are wearing costumes for their acts.
If it were the other way around and I worked with men dressed up in costume (aka half naked) I still wouldn't put those pictures up on a dating site.0 -
I guess since it's something that I'm pretty involved in I'd rather find a woman who had some understanding of it and was comfortable enough with herself that she wouldn't freak out over me hanging around scantily clad women regularly.Just an FYI on the pics. I do business consulting for a burlesque group and those are performers in the group. Also they were doing a show /w a group called Hellzapoppin which is a side show type carnival show. I was there to help out and take pictures of the performers. They just happened to be the most recent pictures I had of myself. All the ladies in the pictures are just friends, or performers. They aren't "gussied up", they are wearing costumes for their acts.
If it were the other way around and I worked with men dressed up in costume (aka half naked) I still wouldn't put those pictures up on a dating site.
That's not the point at all. When you have a profile on a dating site, you're basically advertising yourself. Your profile is the 1st impression women will get of you.. unlike in the real world where you're in person and can conversate (and bring up the fact that you do business consulting for a burlesque group).
Just like I see a guy who took a picture in the mirror and I instantly dismiss it (even though I don't even know the guy, I have no idea if he's too lazy to put a real picture or has no imagination) because I'm assuming, the same thing will happen with you. Women will assume you're just hanging on half dressed women and most women I know will simply dismiss you. I would.0 -
To answer the question, 30-40 pounds over goal weight is a bit more than a few extra pounds. I am *so* not trying to be mean. It's easier for women because we have the option of saying "Curvy", even if it means we have more curves than a mountain road.
Gotta be all the way out there and focus on the Story. Pictures that show you at your best but are also honest are a must (can't view your profile at work), and go easy on the party pics or pics with women. Most ladies viewing your profile are just as shy and the idea that you're a player will put them off.
I was on a few different sites for awhile, but I agree with DM. You need to get out there and meet people in a natural setting through mutual interests or go on those dreaded blind dates because you're forced to be the honest you.
I have had *so* many great convo's online and in person? I was bored to tears or seriously wanted to beat them with a chair.
If you're shy because of your weight, then (and this is my opinion, not medical advice) maybe you aren't ready to be in a relationship. I know my insecurities held me back from reaching for what I wanted and I ended up dating a lot of people that I wasn't attracted to simply because I was looking for someone that feel into "my" category.
Build up your interests, build up your confidence, and live life. The rest will fall into place :flowerforyou:0 -
Just an FYI on the pics. I do business consulting for a burlesque group and those are performers in the group.
There are so many guys on a dating site... most of which don't care about us and only want to get in our pants... Please don't make us have to dig and figure out that you're not "that guy."
If I saw a picture like your MFP avatar on a dating site, I would immediately think, "Oh, he's looking for loose party girls... not me... next!"0 -
I guess since it's something that I'm pretty involved in I'd rather find a woman who had some understanding of it and was comfortable enough with herself that she wouldn't freak out over me hanging around scantily clad women regularly.
That's smart of you... but that might be something you bring up later, once you've initially made contact. After all, if you hang out with scantily clad women regularly, but you're totally in love with HER how much more romantic is that?0 -
Damn. I (as a man) was most certainly impressed by these pics, but your input is much valuable. See I really liked those shots with the women, thought they would be OK, but then surely he is not looking for a man! So he should ignore my comment I guess.Jax - and anybody else for that matter...
On the photos: Are you trying to attract women, or impress other guys? The pictures of you with the gussied up women, and even the full-body shot where you've trimmed one out, give the appearance of bragging and showing off. Personally, I would look at those shots and think "if that's what he's looking for, no thanks." and move on.
Just my two pennies.
And yes, Jax.
I think the point they are trying to make is:
if you need to explain this to the girl you would like to date, explain it IN PERSON. So get her interested by removing the picture, get a date with her first, try to put as little obstacles between you and the girl, then later feel free to bring this as much as you want. Might be an interesting convo actually.
But the rest of the time, you are being judged in 5-10 seconds (sometimes less), and even though your reasons to put the pics are perfectly understandable to me, make sure you can explain this to the girl in person rather than taking the risk.0 -
Well, I greatly appreciate the input from all sources. I'd love to have more pictures up there, I just feel really awkward asking people to take pictures of me. lol
I'll try to get some tonight I'm going out to an event downtown with a bunch of friends. Should give some prime opportunity. I guess I'll have to make some edits to my pictures.
Any input on the profile (aside from the fact that I'm still too fat to be a few extra pounds)?0 -
Ok, too late to edit my response, so I'll add here:
If you are honest and say what your body type is, honesty is attractive. Because it shows you have a good grip on who you are.
Even when I was thinner, it was the man and not the clothing size that attracted me
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Not sure if I'm the best to judge (since I might not be the person that will typically attempt to hit on you), but:
- Your shots are great.
- Profile is loooooooong, and a bit scary.
- "Also, I am very aware that I am larger than the "average" woman. We have genetics to thank for that. And just like you can't do much about your balding head or your smaller than average penis...I can't do much about my height and size."
Ouch. Very, very sensitive issues for men these two. I understand it's humour, but I'd probably turn it differently. Also, I would focus on my success with weight loss/that I'm an active person rather than bringing the genetics.
My general impression is: Great shots, but I'm so-so about your text. I find it quite aggressive and, also, demanding. A bit scary in a way ("wow! lots of rules... She sounds like fun. NOT. Plus what do I get in exchange anyway?")... But then again, I'm probably not your target market, so might work for you.
(and it's "elusive"
although I doubt many men are attracted at "prince charming" "mr Right" types headline) 0 -
It's not a big deal, I'm not being passive aggressive bitter or anything. Unfortunately the next size category is BBW or whatever. So there's no middle of the ground, like chunky, or husky, or fluffy...Ok, too late to edit my response, so I'll add here:
If you are honest and say what your body type is, honesty is attractive. Because it shows you have a good grip on who you are.
Even when I was thinner, it was the man and not the clothing size that attracted me
The only options are slim, average, a few extra pounds, big & tall/BBW.0 -
Put the underwear pics. Guaranteed you'll get messages. :laugh:@Meghan0116
Here's mine.
I know I need to put up more photos but the only full body ones I have are either in my underwear for progress pictures or with my son. I am so not putting up either of those. lol
I think your profile is good overall. Simple and funny from time to time. Good vibes overall.
"the unfortunate ability to be only randomly funny.": that's funny :laugh: * ahem *
I can clearly feel that you don't have much time when I read your profile (and I understand you wanted it that way) but I'm wondering if that is such a good thing. It would leave me a bit hopeless to ever see you. I dunno. Perhaps I would tune the "lack of time thing" down.0 -
It's not a big deal, I'm not being passive aggressive bitter or anything. Unfortunately the next size category is BBW or whatever. So there's no middle of the ground, like chunky, or husky, or fluffy...Ok, too late to edit my response, so I'll add here:
If you are honest and say what your body type is, honesty is attractive. Because it shows you have a good grip on who you are.
Even when I was thinner, it was the man and not the clothing size that attracted me
The only options are slim, average, a few extra pounds, big & tall/BBW.
Well, darlin', can you leave it blank and explain that you aren't BBW, but working towards your desired weight? Explain where you've come from, where you're headed. The things you focus on. These things will be important because some of the women you meet aren't ready for a relationship with a man on a mission 0 -
My general impression is: Great shots, but I'm so-so about your text. I find it quite aggressive and, also, demanding. A bit scary in a way ("wow! lots of rules... She sounds like fun. NOT. Plus what do I get in exchange anyway?")... But then again, I'm probably not your target market, so might work for you.
(and it's "elusive" although I doubt many men are attracted at "prince charming" "mr Right" types headline)
I agree sorta... Your pics are great.. there's a variety which I personally love.
In the text part I do think some of it sounds demanding, but hey, you know what you want and you're putting it out there. I just think that it's best to talk about yourself rather about the man you're not wanting.. kwim?0 -
Meghan, I think yours sounded nice. I got the vibe you were a sweet gal who giggles. (I don't know why lol)0
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Flamfloz, you didn't do mine!!! :mad:0
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Sorry, I had to pretend I was working for a bit. Anyway...Flamfloz, you didn't do mine!!! :mad:
Pics are good, the 3rd one seems a bit useless but isn't bad either.
"I own an accordion. (but I know like 1 polka song!)" This is funny! :laugh:
I think overall it's good. A few personal facts, a few jokes. Easy for people to pick up on something and message you about it.
In fact, I'd message you right now but I don't fit your criteria.
"La_Amazona is not accepting messages from someone of your age or gender. Return to your inbox"
What's wrong with my gender anyway?0 -
OK quickly about the profile:
"picture with your mum": No! It's cute and all, but really? Do you still live in the basement.
"picture of your face": we can see your arms. Ask a friend to take a picture of you and that'll look slightly cooler (you can ask that redhair girl on your other pic........... :sick: :sick: :sick: is she single?!)
3rd pic: Really good. :sick: :sick: :sick: Jealous.
4th pic: doesn't show much of your life (miss a bit of environment), but full body shot is fair.
Job: financial advisor => finance
Not sure if mentioning all the geeky stuff is a win in your interests. I'm torn on this. It's not as shameful as it used to be as everyone now pretends they are a geek, but none of the people who pretend are actually true geeks (if you know what I mean), so it kinda sucks to say it openly.
I'd like to get women's input actually. Cos it's all nice and well, but even though it conveys a "nice, decent guy" feeling, not sure how far that gets you.
"tattooed (getting more, they can be covered in a long sleeve shirt and jeans, shorts and a t-shirt, not so much)" - I lol'ed. Just show them man, women are suckers for this (and here is your 5th pic ). Well, OK I know I would (bits of them). It conveys a lot about yourself.
"so I've got that going for me." gives a negative vibe. Don't be ashamed of what you are, don't insinuate doubt in people's mind. Things are complicated enough. So yes, try to keep a positive vibe.
Not sure if I would say that: "I'm down approx. 66 pounds from my highest weight, I've got about 30 more to go, I think I fit into the a few extra pounds at this point." but that's up to you. What do other people think?
General feeling: I wouldn't say *amazing*, but gives a nice impression of a calm, regular man (boring?). Kind of hard to be struck by lightning when reading your profile either.
Btw, my profile is 10x worse than yours (just trying to give my opinion, for what it's worth)... I just don't manage yet to get that "wow" factor in my profile.
Great critique, however, I wouldnt worry about the geek thing. Its not a deal breaker for most women, in fact, its attractive.
Definitely would NOT mention your weight loss, OR, the fact you want a woman that looks after her appearance and figure!! It's enough to say that you are looking for someone to enjoy an active and healthy lifestyle with. We get the hint you're not looking for a fatty when you say that :laugh:
Just remember that MOST men want SLIM women and MOST women are not happy with their weight!! So, by even mentioning her figure you have made it the most important thing in the world to you!! A very high percentage of women won't consider themselves that good at it!! Sooooo, you're closing the door on a high percentage of women that are reasonably fit and healthy, just not perfect at maintaining her figure the way she would like it! :flowerforyou:
Also, If a man ever mentions the weight/figure thing, I run a mile. I just think he's too shallow for me! Is that all he cares about?
Obviously if the above IS the most important thing in the world to you, then scrap what I've said :laugh:0 -
Sorry, I had to pretend I was working for a bit. Anyway...Flamfloz, you didn't do mine!!! :mad:
Pics are good, the 3rd one seems a bit useless but isn't bad either.
"I own an accordion. (but I know like 1 polka song!)" This is funny! :laugh:
I think overall it's good. A few personal facts, a few jokes. Easy for people to pick up on something and message you about it.
In fact, I'd message you right now but I don't fit your criteria.
"La_Amazona is not accepting messages from someone of your age or gender. Return to your inbox"
What's wrong with my gender anyway?
awww what's wrong with my 3rd one? i thought 2 body shots would be good...0 -
In fact, I'd message you right now but I don't fit your criteria.
"La_Amazona is not accepting messages from someone of your age or gender. Return to your inbox"
What's wrong with my gender anyway?
Awww you'd contact me? :blushing:
What's up with your gender? lol0 -
I get messages from guys saying I seem like fun cool (which I totally am).. but wonder if I need more substance in my profile. I just figure that once we start messaging they see I can be serious but fun.
I feel like I'm on American Idol.
most guys don't read profiles at first, it's all about the pictures.
So true!!! no matter what site you're on the men just look at the photos! I had one guy go back and read my profile while I was chatting with him! I always have to remind men that I am 47 years old... they just look at the pictures... :P0 -
Well, nothing particularly wrong. The second one is better though because it is a body shot in context, so it's more 'casual'. Doesn't feel like you are saying: look this is my body. I'm being picky though, #3 is more than fine.awww what's wrong with my 3rd one? i thought 2 body shots would be good...
No idea about why their message mentions the gender :laugh: which is why I felt like I had to copy the message here.0 -
Just an FYI on the pics. I do business consulting for a burlesque group and those are performers in the group. Also they were doing a show /w a group called Hellzapoppin which is a side show type carnival show. I was there to help out and take pictures of the performers. They just happened to be the most recent pictures I had of myself. All the ladies in the pictures are just friends, or performers. They aren't "gussied up", they are wearing costumes for their acts.
Doesnt matter. The picture looks like you're banging her from behind!! :laugh: Not attractive to a woman you're trying to date AT ALL!!!!! But very attractive to another man, like Flamfloz :laugh: :ohwell:
All the stuff like the details of your job, your weight loss journey, your likeness of a woman that likes her figure is so subjective that you can't afford to put it out there at the profile stage. Keep details for the date!!! Or date 2 or 3!!! At this point you just want a response from as many potential mates as possible. THEN you have options!! :flowerforyou:0 -
Well, nothing particularly wrong. The second one is better though because it is a body shot in context, so it's more 'casual'. Doesn't feel like you are saying: look this is my body. I'm being picky though, #3 is more than fine.awww what's wrong with my 3rd one? i thought 2 body shots would be good...
No idea about why their message mentions the gender :laugh: which is why I felt like I had to copy the message here.
Oh and I dropped down to 29.. thought I'd open up my options.
My friend and I were talking about this over the weekend.. age range.
Mine is 29-37ish..0 -
"La_Amazona is not accepting messages from someone in your country. Return to your inbox".Oh and I dropped down to 29.. thought I'd open up my options. My friend and I were talking about this over the weekend.. age range.
Mine is 29-37ish..
This... this is an impossible love story. :laugh:
I keep returning to my empty inbox.0 -
LOL I'm cracking up... now I'm curious.. let me go see.0
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