Perfect time to get naked??
catherine4211
Posts: 954 Member
I would like everyones opinion on how soon is too soon to sleep with someone. Everyone I work with says wait at least 3 months. They are all married though. I think they are insane. That being said I know I have given it up way too soon in the past but I can't say that is why the relationship didn't work out. Because the one guy that I actually did wait with ended up hurting me the most! I would like to know what you all think.
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You're going to get different responses as everybody is different on this subject.
For me personally, I'd have to wait until we were exclusive. Sex is tied into my emotions. I can't seperate the 2. I have accepted that. I can't have random sex with random people or even with friends (FWB).
So I'll wait until I'm exclusive, which could take a month or 3. The right guy will understand this.
Now making out... that's a different story. I CAN make out! :bigsmile:0 -
OMG you knew *I* would chime in on this one.
3 MONTHS? Do you work at a monastery? (I know where you work, that is a joke lol).
Um, three months? Yes, I said it again because I am incredulous. That is ridiculous in my opinion. I'm sure some people might have religious reasons for waiting, but even then I doubt if it's three months. I will tell you privately why my personal *usual* is, but I can't believe anyone would honestly wait three months if they were really attracted to someone.0 -
Sex is tied to my emotions as well. I tried the FWB thing and it didn't work. I got hurt. But what if you wait til you're exclusive and you end up not likeing having sex with him?0
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You're going to get different responses as everybody is different on this subject.
For me personally, I'd have to wait until we were exclusive. Sex is tied into my emotions. I can't seperate the 2. I have accepted that. I can't have random sex with random people or even with friends (FWB).
So I'll wait until I'm exclusive, which could take a month or 3. The right guy will understand this.
Now making out... that's a different story. I CAN make out! :bigsmile:
This may be an age thing too. Cat and I are about the same, you are a lot younger. For me, I know when I know, and the exclusive agreement usually happens fairly quickly. I am not interested in dating multiple people. I just want to concentrate on one person at a time, and he has to agree or it doesn't move forward. So I think the exclusive thing happens a lot faster for me.0 -
OMG you knew *I* would chime in on this one.
I value your thoughts!!!
3 MONTHS? Do you work at a monastery? (I know where you work, that is a joke lol).
Yes - 3 months. They are CRAZY!!!0 -
Oh yeah, I remember a bunch of people being shocked that my current BF and I agreed to be exclusive "so fast". It was after 4 dates. I think at my age I just know when a guy is the one I want to be with so it's not that huge of a deal to have the talk about it.0
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I don't think there's a universal answer. Just when both parties feel comfortable enough and attracted enough to make it happen.
When I first saw the subject line, my first thought was that this was going to be about the best time of day to get naked.0 -
I will only get nekkid with you if we are exclusive. Now mind you that wont be the first 5 dates lol I would say about a month at the very least for me. I know I can not just randomly get nekkid with every Joe Blow on the street. But everyone is different.. you have to work with what is comfortable for you.0
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Oh yeah, I remember a bunch of people being shocked that my current BF and I agreed to be exclusive "so fast". It was after 4 dates. I think at my age I just know when a guy is the one I want to be with so it's not that huge of a deal to have the talk about it.
I agree - I feel too old to waste my time.0 -
I don't think there's a universal answer. Just when both parties feel comfortable enough and attracted enough to make it happen.
Good - a man's opinion. But how do you feel once you get the goods? Are you then not so into the girl?0 -
I will only get nekkid with you if we are exclusive. Now mind you that wont be the first 5 dates lol I would say about a month at the very least for me. I know I can not just randomly get nekkid with every Joe Blow on the street. But everyone is different.. you have to work with what is comfortable for you.
Thanks! I agree we all have our own ways.........just curious as to how others handle this.0 -
Sex is tied to my emotions as well. I tried the FWB thing and it didn't work. I got hurt. But what if you wait til you're exclusive and you end up not likeing having sex with him?
Hopefully that would NOT be the case. I don't think being exclusive takes that long.. I could be wrong. I haven't been exclusive with someone though since my divorce. I imagine though, when you find someone that you're into and he's into you, it happens soon.0 -
I don`t think there is an exact answer,every person is different in what is comfortable for them as well as who they are comfortable with.
Don`t feel you have to so it within a certain time period or that if you don`t wait then you are less of a woman.
You will know when and if it is right,don`t let anyone steer you into any other ideas.0 -
Hmmmm here I go getting to sound like the bad girl again...... If I was waiting 3 month one of us better be in traction lol. For me it is usually within the first month of seeing each other / hanging out........ Sex is not tied to my emotions though so its kinda different to me. I think much more like a guy in this aspect lol I've been told. But I also have a tendancy to hang with someone alot if wer into each other. My FWB and I went and hung out about 9 times in 2 weeks so its almost like I compress the process ... But each person has a different time frame0
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For me it depends on what I want out of it...a relationship a month, FWB two weeks.
People who disagree with the 3 months thing should read dating books written by men....most men don't respect a woman who gives it up early. Yes, they can treat her nice and proper but not respect her because it shows a lack of respect to herself. Like Steve Harvey's act like a woman but think like a man.0 -
Sex is tied to my emotions as well. I tried the FWB thing and it didn't work. I got hurt. But what if you wait til you're exclusive and you end up not likeing having sex with him?
Hopefully that would NOT be the case. I don't think being exclusive takes that long.. I could be wrong. I haven't been exclusive with someone though since my divorce. I imagine though, when you find someone that you're into and he's into you, it happens soon.
The one man I dated since my divorce that I thought could be "the one" ended up playing SO many games with my head. We were exclusive, told me he loved me and then one day told me I was too needy and to stop texting/calling him so much. I let him do this to me for 6 months before I finally got fed up. And I'll be honest I still think about him somedays.0 -
For me it depends on what I want out of it...a relationship a month, FWB two weeks.
People who disagree with the 3 months thing should read dating books written by men....most men don't respect a woman who gives it up early. Yes, they can treat her nice and proper but not respect her because it shows a lack of respect to herself. Like Steve Harvey's act like a woman but think like a man.
I was thinking about reading that book.0 -
Hmmmm here I go getting to sound like the bad girl again...... If I was waiting 3 month one of us better be in traction lol. For me it is usually within the first month of seeing each other / hanging out........ Sex is not tied to my emotions though so its kinda different to me. I think much more like a guy in this aspect lol I've been told. But I also have a tendancy to hang with someone alot if wer into each other. My FWB and I went and hung out about 9 times in 2 weeks so its almost like I compress the process ... But each person has a different time frame
Well the guy in question here isn't someone that I only want as a FWB. I would love to see where it could go.0 -
I don`t think there is an exact answer,every person is different in what is comfortable for them as well as who they are comfortable with.
Don`t feel you have to so it within a certain time period or that if you don`t wait then you are less of a woman.
You will know when and if it is right,don`t let anyone steer you into any other ideas.
Well I won't go on a 2nd or 3rd date with a guy that I wouldn't want to sleep with. I'm not into wasting my time or theirs.0 -
On the same token, I am going to be SUPER picky about whom I get exclusive with. I guess I'm sort of sending myself off to a no sex island for a while but hey, I know ME, I know what I can handle, what I can't... and it's okay.
I dated a guy right after seperating (rebound) for 2 months. He stayed the night, as did I.. but didn't have sex! He took me out, we had fun but I just didn't feel it. I mean, my body felt it of course but emotionally I couldn't do it. Good thing because he ended up moving away and was completely Mr. Emotionally Unavailable. I saved myself a heart break, of that I'm sure.0
