Perfect time to get naked??

catherine4211

I would like everyones opinion on how soon is too soon to sleep with someone. Everyone I work with says wait at least 3 months. They are all married though. I think they are insane. That being said I know I have given it up way too soon in the past but I can't say that is why the relationship didn't work out. Because the one guy that I actually did wait with ended up hurting me the most! I would like to know what you all think.

La_Amazona

You're going to get different responses as everybody is different on this subject.

For me personally, I'd have to wait until we were exclusive. Sex is tied into my emotions. I can't seperate the 2. I have accepted that. I can't have random sex with random people or even with friends (FWB).
So I'll wait until I'm exclusive, which could take a month or 3. The right guy will understand this.

Now making out... that's a different story. I CAN make out! :bigsmile:

PedmomJill

OMG you knew *I* would chime in on this one.

3 MONTHS? Do you work at a monastery? (I know where you work, that is a joke lol).

Um, three months? Yes, I said it again because I am incredulous. That is ridiculous in my opinion. I'm sure some people might have religious reasons for waiting, but even then I doubt if it's three months. I will tell you privately why my personal *usual* is, but I can't believe anyone would honestly wait three months if they were really attracted to someone.

catherine4211

Sex is tied to my emotions as well. I tried the FWB thing and it didn't work. I got hurt. But what if you wait til you're exclusive and you end up not likeing having sex with him?

PedmomJill

You're going to get different responses as everybody is different on this subject.

For me personally, I'd have to wait until we were exclusive. Sex is tied into my emotions. I can't seperate the 2. I have accepted that. I can't have random sex with random people or even with friends (FWB).
So I'll wait until I'm exclusive, which could take a month or 3. The right guy will understand this.

Now making out... that's a different story. I CAN make out! :bigsmile:

This may be an age thing too. Cat and I are about the same, you are a lot younger. For me, I know when I know, and the exclusive agreement usually happens fairly quickly. I am not interested in dating multiple people. I just want to concentrate on one person at a time, and he has to agree or it doesn't move forward. So I think the exclusive thing happens a lot faster for me.

catherine4211

OMG you knew *I* would chime in on this one.

I value your thoughts!!!

3 MONTHS? Do you work at a monastery? (I know where you work, that is a joke lol).

Yes - 3 months. They are CRAZY!!!

PedmomJill

Oh yeah, I remember a bunch of people being shocked that my current BF and I agreed to be exclusive "so fast". It was after 4 dates. I think at my age I just know when a guy is the one I want to be with so it's not that huge of a deal to have the talk about it.

DMZ_1

I don't think there's a universal answer. Just when both parties feel comfortable enough and attracted enough to make it happen.

When I first saw the subject line, my first thought was that this was going to be about the best time of day to get naked.

Tropical_Turtle

I will only get nekkid with you if we are exclusive. Now mind you that wont be the first 5 dates lol I would say about a month at the very least for me. I know I can not just randomly get nekkid with every Joe Blow on the street. But everyone is different.. you have to work with what is comfortable for you.

catherine4211

Oh yeah, I remember a bunch of people being shocked that my current BF and I agreed to be exclusive "so fast". It was after 4 dates. I think at my age I just know when a guy is the one I want to be with so it's not that huge of a deal to have the talk about it.

I agree - I feel too old to waste my time.

catherine4211

I don't think there's a universal answer. Just when both parties feel comfortable enough and attracted enough to make it happen.

Good - a man's opinion. But how do you feel once you get the goods? Are you then not so into the girl?

catherine4211

I will only get nekkid with you if we are exclusive. Now mind you that wont be the first 5 dates lol I would say about a month at the very least for me. I know I can not just randomly get nekkid with every Joe Blow on the street. But everyone is different.. you have to work with what is comfortable for you.

Thanks! I agree we all have our own ways.........just curious as to how others handle this.

La_Amazona

Sex is tied to my emotions as well. I tried the FWB thing and it didn't work. I got hurt. But what if you wait til you're exclusive and you end up not likeing having sex with him?

Hopefully that would NOT be the case. I don't think being exclusive takes that long.. I could be wrong. I haven't been exclusive with someone though since my divorce. I imagine though, when you find someone that you're into and he's into you, it happens soon.

Carl01

I don`t think there is an exact answer,every person is different in what is comfortable for them as well as who they are comfortable with.
Don`t feel you have to so it within a certain time period or that if you don`t wait then you are less of a woman.

You will know when and if it is right,don`t let anyone steer you into any other ideas.

jenbit

Hmmmm here I go getting to sound like the bad girl again...... If I was waiting 3 month one of us better be in traction lol. For me it is usually within the first month of seeing each other / hanging out........ Sex is not tied to my emotions though so its kinda different to me. I think much more like a guy in this aspect lol I've been told. But I also have a tendancy to hang with someone alot if wer into each other. My FWB and I went and hung out about 9 times in 2 weeks so its almost like I compress the process ... But each person has a different time frame

mnwalkingqueen

For me it depends on what I want out of it...a relationship a month, FWB two weeks.

People who disagree with the 3 months thing should read dating books written by men....most men don't respect a woman who gives it up early. Yes, they can treat her nice and proper but not respect her because it shows a lack of respect to herself. Like Steve Harvey's act like a woman but think like a man.

catherine4211

Sex is tied to my emotions as well. I tried the FWB thing and it didn't work. I got hurt. But what if you wait til you're exclusive and you end up not likeing having sex with him?

Hopefully that would NOT be the case. I don't think being exclusive takes that long.. I could be wrong. I haven't been exclusive with someone though since my divorce. I imagine though, when you find someone that you're into and he's into you, it happens soon.

The one man I dated since my divorce that I thought could be "the one" ended up playing SO many games with my head. We were exclusive, told me he loved me and then one day told me I was too needy and to stop texting/calling him so much. I let him do this to me for 6 months before I finally got fed up. And I'll be honest I still think about him somedays.

catherine4211

For me it depends on what I want out of it...a relationship a month, FWB two weeks.

People who disagree with the 3 months thing should read dating books written by men....most men don't respect a woman who gives it up early. Yes, they can treat her nice and proper but not respect her because it shows a lack of respect to herself. Like Steve Harvey's act like a woman but think like a man.

I was thinking about reading that book.

catherine4211

Hmmmm here I go getting to sound like the bad girl again...... If I was waiting 3 month one of us better be in traction lol. For me it is usually within the first month of seeing each other / hanging out........ Sex is not tied to my emotions though so its kinda different to me. I think much more like a guy in this aspect lol I've been told. But I also have a tendancy to hang with someone alot if wer into each other. My FWB and I went and hung out about 9 times in 2 weeks so its almost like I compress the process ... But each person has a different time frame

Well the guy in question here isn't someone that I only want as a FWB. I would love to see where it could go.

catherine4211

I don`t think there is an exact answer,every person is different in what is comfortable for them as well as who they are comfortable with.
Don`t feel you have to so it within a certain time period or that if you don`t wait then you are less of a woman.

You will know when and if it is right,don`t let anyone steer you into any other ideas.

Well I won't go on a 2nd or 3rd date with a guy that I wouldn't want to sleep with. I'm not into wasting my time or theirs.

La_Amazona

On the same token, I am going to be SUPER picky about whom I get exclusive with. I guess I'm sort of sending myself off to a no sex island for a while but hey, I know ME, I know what I can handle, what I can't... and it's okay.

I dated a guy right after seperating (rebound) for 2 months. He stayed the night, as did I.. but didn't have sex! He took me out, we had fun but I just didn't feel it. I mean, my body felt it of course but emotionally I couldn't do it. Good thing because he ended up moving away and was completely Mr. Emotionally Unavailable. I saved myself a heart break, of that I'm sure.