Perfect time to get naked??

24

Replies

  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,855 Member
    I liked the Steve Harvey book.

    He definately preaches about the 3 month rule. I think it's a good one.
  • catherine4211
    catherine4211 Posts: 944 Member
    I know myself - I'd never make it 3 months. To be honest if I hadn't been on my period on Sunday when we hung out I might have done it then! Thankfully he's gone until the 23rd of this month so I will be good til then!
  • jenbit
    jenbit Posts: 4,289 Member
    Hmmmm here I go getting to sound like the bad girl again...... If I was waiting 3 month one of us better be in traction lol. For me it is usually within the first month of seeing each other / hanging out........ Sex is not tied to my emotions though so its kinda different to me. I think much more like a guy in this aspect lol I've been told. But I also have a tendancy to hang with someone alot if wer into each other. My FWB and I went and hung out about 9 times in 2 weeks so its almost like I compress the process ... But each person has a different time frame

    Well the guy in question here isn't someone that I only want as a FWB. I would love to see where it could go.



    My ex-husband and I were sleeping together within 2 weeks (of course we were 19) and we were together 7 years. My ex-boyfriend and I slept together within 3 weeks and we were together 5 years....... I think I might have actually jumped into bed quicker with my relationships than with any of my past and current FWB lol:blushing:
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
    I've waited 6 months and I've done it on the first night as the chemistry was THAT strong. Both ways, I'm still single now.....:laugh: Just do what feels right :bigsmile:

    (The guy on the first night was the love of my life for about 4 years :brokenheart: )

    I also become exclusive with someone right away, if we both feel its right. I dont date multiple people. Never have. So having sex is going to be a natural progression. Can't really give a direct answer as to when, there are no rules, but the ideal would be when you feel its right and can't keep your hands off each other any longer! :love:
  • catherine4211
    catherine4211 Posts: 944 Member
    Hmmmm here I go getting to sound like the bad girl again...... If I was waiting 3 month one of us better be in traction lol. For me it is usually within the first month of seeing each other / hanging out........ Sex is not tied to my emotions though so its kinda different to me. I think much more like a guy in this aspect lol I've been told. But I also have a tendancy to hang with someone alot if wer into each other. My FWB and I went and hung out about 9 times in 2 weeks so its almost like I compress the process ... But each person has a different time frame

    Well the guy in question here isn't someone that I only want as a FWB. I would love to see where it could go.



    My ex-husband and I were sleeping together within 2 weeks (of course we were 19) and we were together 7 years. My ex-boyfriend and I slept together within 3 weeks and we were together 5 years....... I think I might have actually jumped into bed quicker with my relationships than with any of my past and current FWB lol:blushing:

    I waited 3 weeks with my ex-husband. We were married over 14 years. I'm 99.99% sure our marriage didn't end because we had sex too soon.
  • jenbit
    jenbit Posts: 4,289 Member
    ^^^^this is what I mean I really dont wait because honestly its not going to affect the outcome of the relationship and hello I LIKE sex lol. Being comfortable with your sexuality and Knowing how YOU handle sexual relationships is all that matters
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
    Casual sex won't work for me. I, personally, need to wait quite a bit. I'm too emotional, and even a good make-out session too soon will blind me to red flags and other potential relationship issues. So while I wait for primarily religious reasons, it has a huge psychological benefit in that I am happier about my dating and less upset when something doesn't work out.
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
    People who disagree with the 3 months thing should read dating books written by men....most men don't respect a woman who gives it up early. Yes, they can treat her nice and proper but not respect her because it shows a lack of respect to herself.

    Quite a few relationship books and websites I've read echo that the fastest way to a wedding ring is to not have sex without it. Unfortunately, I think those books miss two key issues: 1. Many these days don't WANT to be married, and 2. If she's not giving up quickly, he's moving on to someone who will.
  • catherine4211
    catherine4211 Posts: 944 Member
    Casual sex won't work for me. I, personally, need to wait quite a bit. I'm too emotional, and even a good make-out session too soon will blind me to red flags and other potential relationship issues. So while I wait for primarily religious reasons, it has a huge psychological benefit in that I am happier about my dating and less upset when something doesn't work out.

    I sometimes wish I could have this frame of mind. I'm forever getting upset when things don't work out. In fact I had totally given up for 2 years. This guy is the first guy I've actually seriously thought about dating.
  • JThomas61
    JThomas61 Posts: 892
    People who disagree with the 3 months thing should read dating books written by men....most men don't respect a woman who gives it up early. Yes, they can treat her nice and proper but not respect her because it shows a lack of respect to herself.

    Quite a few relationship books and websites I've read echo that the fastest way to a wedding ring is to not have sex without it. Unfortunately, I think those books miss two key issues: 1. Many these days don't WANT to be married, and 2. If she's not giving up quickly, he's moving on to someone who will.

    Relationship books like diet books are not meant for you to succeed, if they were and everyone worked then the people writing said books would be out of a job!
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,064 Member
    Honestly, I say three months or even later. I don't think sex is something to be taken lightly or to be dove into casually. I think sex is something special.

    But that is just my views on the topic. I know the majority of people don't think this way.
  • NeedANewFocus
    NeedANewFocus Posts: 898 Member
    bump...want to remember to come back to this.
  • kimi131
    kimi131 Posts: 1,058 Member
    I wait until we're exclusive and preferably we have both used the L word (or I at least feel it). The one time I didn't wait for those, I regretted it. I ended up jumping into a relationship because we had and it probably would not have turned into a relationship otherwise.

    I recently told the new guy I'm dating that I wanted to wait a little longer (he was ready right then, lol). He was cool with it and we're still talking and I appreciate that.
  • kimi131
    kimi131 Posts: 1,058 Member
    People who disagree with the 3 months thing should read dating books written by men....most men don't respect a woman who gives it up early.

    I don't understand why there's a magic number. Why 3 months? Why not 3 weeks? Or 6 months? Or 3 years? If it takes him 3 months to respect me, I don't want his respect anyway.
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,064 Member
    I don't understand why there's a magic number. Why 3 months? Why not 3 weeks? Or 6 months? Or 3 years? If it takes him 3 months to respect me, I don't want his respect anyway.

    From http://singlecityguy.com/2009/12/02/the-90-day-rule/

    "When you enter a pattern of having sex immediately, you miss out on the actual value of dating. Meeting someone becomes about sex and not about caring or wanting to learn about the person. It becomes a natural occurrence without you realizing."

    This I definitely agree with. People I know who had sex early have relationships that revolve around sex and hooking up and drama. People who wait have strong relationships that are coupled with sex, which is to show intimacy in the relationship.
  • Lift_This_
    Lift_This_ Posts: 2,756 Member
    Well 3 months doesn't seem that bad....having said that it was just about 3 months when my ex and I did the deed. Glad I waited though...able to see how well we did or didn't mesh (we were on and off for 2 years). Now a day I give a 5 date minimum...I ain't getting any younger.
  • AllanMisner
    AllanMisner Posts: 4,140 Member
    Answer for a woman: When she's ready.
    Answer for a man: When she's ready.

    :tongue:
  • catherine4211
    catherine4211 Posts: 944 Member
    Thanks everyone for your replies!! It helps to know what others in my position think.
  • kimi131
    kimi131 Posts: 1,058 Member
    I don't understand why there's a magic number. Why 3 months? Why not 3 weeks? Or 6 months? Or 3 years? If it takes him 3 months to respect me, I don't want his respect anyway.
    This I definitely agree with. People I know who had sex early have relationships that revolve around sex and hooking up and drama. People who wait have strong relationships that are coupled with sex, which is to show intimacy in the relationship.

    Not saying i hope into bed early on. I definitely don't. I just think 3 months is a long time to wait if you have good chemistry with someone. Not to mention I still say there is no magical number. But, to each their own :flowerforyou:
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
    Answer for a woman: When she's ready.
    Answer for a man: When she's ready.

    :tongue:

    That seems about right. :smile: