What is off limits to you?
La_Amazona
Posts: 4,855 Member
Since Flamfloz mentioned him flirting with gals even though he had a gf and I'm about to make a fool of myself on Thursday with gym guy...
What do you consider off limits/ taken?
Of course married men are off limits to me.
But what about someone with a gf/ bf? If you met a guy/ girl and were flirty with them then found out they had a SO and you really liked them, would you try to pursue them? Or run the other way?
You hear about stories that one was dating someone else but then met her and fell in love.. broke up with his gf and lived happily ever after with new girl.
For me personally, well I'd hate to be the gf but better for it to happen now then when you're married, I suppose.
If I met a guy who had a gf and I felt he was really into me, I'm not sure what I'd do. I definately wouldn't have an "affair" but I don't know if I'd back off completely.
Just being honest... because I don't know what I'd do. It seems with a married man, it'd be so much easier to tell him he's a scumbag for it but not with a guy with a gf (or even a fiance).
Thoughts?
What do you consider off limits/ taken?
Of course married men are off limits to me.
But what about someone with a gf/ bf? If you met a guy/ girl and were flirty with them then found out they had a SO and you really liked them, would you try to pursue them? Or run the other way?
You hear about stories that one was dating someone else but then met her and fell in love.. broke up with his gf and lived happily ever after with new girl.
For me personally, well I'd hate to be the gf but better for it to happen now then when you're married, I suppose.
If I met a guy who had a gf and I felt he was really into me, I'm not sure what I'd do. I definately wouldn't have an "affair" but I don't know if I'd back off completely.
Just being honest... because I don't know what I'd do. It seems with a married man, it'd be so much easier to tell him he's a scumbag for it but not with a guy with a gf (or even a fiance).
Thoughts?
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girlfriend or wife is all the same to me. No difference, just a bit of paper!
My mate was seeing this guy with a g/f recently, and she says "oh, he's only been seeing her a few months" as if that justifies his behaviour!! I just think 'what a rat!!' Makes it even worse that he's eyeing up other women if he's only been dating a few months. He's not even got an excuse that he's in a loveless marraige. And more importantly, if he can do that to her, he can do it to me!!
Flirting is another subject though. Lots of people flirt, and it doesn't mean anything. But if you play with another woman's man, then you're either up for an affair or up for breaking up a relationship. Neither of which appeal to me.
Plus, I wont be any man's sloppy second!! :laugh: No thank you!0 -
girlfriend or wife is all the same to me. No difference, just a bit of paper!
My mate was seeing this guy with a g/f recently, and she says "oh, he's only been seeing her a few months" as if that justifies his behaviour!! I just think 'what a rat!!' Makes it even worse that he's eyeing up other women if he's only been dating a few months. He's not even got an excuse that he's in a loveless marraige. And more importantly, if he can do that to her, he can do it to me!!
Flirting is another subject though. Lots of people flirt, and it doesn't mean anything. But if you play with another woman's man, then you're either up for an affair or up for breaking up a relationship. Neither of which appeal to me.
Plus, I wont be any man's sloppy second!! :laugh: No thank you!
^^ This! I wouldn't want it done to me, so I'm not going to do it to someone else. If he'll cheat with you, he'll cheat on you.0 -
True.. and I wouldn't go along with a guy who has a gf.
I guess it'd be one of those situations where it's not deceiving yet you both know there's something more going on. I don't know what I'm trying to say really.
I do understand what you're saying though... and if he'd do it to her, well he might just do it to me. I guess I'm being romantic about it.
If I had a bf and I met a wonderful man whom I had a lot in common, felt chemistry and started having feelings for, I'd break up with my bf, I wouldn't cheat but ultimately I'm leaving him for someone else? Does that make me a bad guy?
And the thing with flirting... sometimes it's harmless but then sometimes it can lead to other things like feelings, right?0 -
If someone's in an exclusive relationship, then they're off-limits for anything but friendship until they are no longer in a relationship. Simple. I wish it wasn't so, but there it is.0
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True.. and I wouldn't go along with a guy who has a gf.
I guess it'd be one of those situations where it's not deceiving yet you both know there's something more going on. I don't know what I'm trying to say really.
I do understand what you're saying though... and if he'd do it to her, well he might just do it to me. I guess I'm being romantic about it.
If I had a bf and I met a wonderful man whom I had a lot in common, felt chemistry and started having feelings for, I'd break up with my bf, I wouldn't cheat but ultimately I'm leaving him for someone else? Does that make me a bad guy?
And the thing with flirting... sometimes it's harmless but then sometimes it can lead to other things like feelings, right?
No, breaking up with your bf for someone else doesn't make you a bad person, it makes you an honourable person. And flirting? As long as everyone's clear that it is not intended to lead anywhere, then where's the harm in a bit of badinage? If it begins to create feelings etc then if one party is in a relationship, it's their obligation to cool things down, or decide (and act on the decision!) that they want to end their current relationship and try to create a new one with the person they've developed feelings for.0 -
Pursuing someone who is taken (married, dating) isn't usually worth it. There are always a glut of singles out there. Focus on them.0
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I guess there are different levels of bf/gf. Are they living together? How long have they been together? Do they have kids or property together?
When I meet someone who is otherwise taken (but expresses interest in me), I tell them to sort their thing out and then give me a call. I'd have to know the other relationship was really over before I'd open myself up to anything.
I actually went out with a girl and on our second date found out her ex-bf was still living with her (she said it was hard to find a good apartment in Washington, DC). I was planning another trip when she got sick, the next two phone calls all she could talk about was how good he was taking care of her. I canceled my trip.0 -
Pursuing someone who is taken (married, dating) isn't usually worth it. There are always a glut of singles out there. Focus on them.
That's true. Just more complications and dating has enough of those from what I can tell.0 -
True.. and I wouldn't go along with a guy who has a gf.
I guess it'd be one of those situations where it's not deceiving yet you both know there's something more going on. I don't know what I'm trying to say really.
I do understand what you're saying though... and if he'd do it to her, well he might just do it to me. I guess I'm being romantic about it.
If I had a bf and I met a wonderful man whom I had a lot in common, felt chemistry and started having feelings for, I'd break up with my bf, I wouldn't cheat but ultimately I'm leaving him for someone else? Does that make me a bad guy?
And the thing with flirting... sometimes it's harmless but then sometimes it can lead to other things like feelings, right?
I think honestly that if you start to develop feelings for someone else then something is wrong with the first relationship and you should move on anyway.
Married men that hit on other women are disgusting. If you are in a loveless marriage get the f@ck out. If you love your wife and are still hitting on other women .. you are even more disgusting.0 -
Married off limits period.
Someone in a relationship, friends yes but off limits.
I got my heart torn when my gf from high school/ early college cheated on me. It sucks. I don't want to do the same to others. If they were really interested in me, they would have to end it on their end first.0 -
Tbh I don't really care how this makes me sound but I'd just go for it, if they didn't like me they'd make it clear, if they didn't then they shouldn't be with their partners full stop. Then again depends how you feel on it because you'll always be slightly insecure he could do the same to you.
I know I wouldn't like it at the time if I was the bf/gf that it happened to, but within a couple of months I'd probably realise it was all for the best and that I could do better anyway.
You know me and my attitude though, I always just say DO IT.0 -
OMG! :noway: You did it again! lulz :sad:Since Flamfloz mentioned him flirting with gals even though he had a gf and I'm about to make a fool of myself on Thursday with gym guy...
It's going to be on every thread now :laugh:
:flowerforyou:Flirting is another subject though. Lots of people flirt, and it doesn't mean anything.0 -
All right .. wtf is a lulz ???0
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All right .. wtf is a lulz ???
A dating technique? You lulz them to sleep before you pounce?0 -
:laugh:
On another note, I posted in the Kryptonite thread how white guys are mine (they are but I'm not closed to other races) and so far I've gotten 3 PM's saying they're white.
:smokin: :noway:0 -
All right .. wtf is a lulz ???
A dating technique? You lulz them to sleep before you pounce?
LMAO! I don't think I want to be lulzed ..0 -
All right .. wtf is a lulz ???
A dating technique? You lulz them to sleep before you pounce?
like chloroform??0 -
I think that it really depends on the relationship you're messing with as others have said.
Perhaps a girl I'm talking to has been thinking about dumping her bf for a month (because he treats her like **** or whatever, but you know people... they'll stay for old times sake!) so she just needs this extra push. She probably won't reveal she is with a bf immediately, and if you're compatible with her it could be a win-win (she ditches the jerk and ends up with you).
Bad?
Perhaps this woman is in a completely dead marriage. Her husband cheats on her everyday, she knows it, accepts it even but is only staying for the kids and because she is scared of revealing to everyone her marriage has failed.
Perhaps she is being beaten by her guy, her guy is an alcoholic or whatever.
And so when you are flirting with her she realizes that maybe there is more for her in life than what she's got and it will give her the energy to fight again...
I mean, flirting - it can be nothing or everything.0 -
All right .. wtf is a lulz ???
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=lulz
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=lulz
People keep making fun of me today :sad:0 -
I think that it really depends on the relationship you're messing with as others have said.
Perhaps a girl I'm talking to has been thinking about dumping her bf for a month (because he treats her like **** or whatever, but you know people... they'll stay for old times sake!) so she just needs this extra push. She probably won't reveal she is with a bf immediately, and if you're compatible with her it could be a win-win (she ditches the jerk and ends up with you).
Bad?
Perhaps this woman is in a completely dead marriage. Her husband cheats on her everyday, she knows it, accepts it even but is only staying for the kids and because she is scared of revealing to everyone her marriage has failed.
Perhaps she is being beaten by her guy, her guy is an alcoholic or whatever.
And so when you are flirting with her she realizes that maybe there is more for her in life than what she's got and it will give her the energy to fight again...
I mean, flirting - it can be nothing or everything.
the only thing with these situations if you end up with them is they probably have a lot of baggage.
i was with a bf who was abusive. this was before i got married, i was 18. i was with him for 2 years and i met a guy who made me feel worthy again. when you're in an abusive relationship, even though you know better, you somehow get trapped. anyway, i cheated on my abusive bf with this guy. i didn't end up with him, not even close but it sure gave me the strength to walk away. i don't know why or how... maybe because i knew that wasn't my character and something was REALLY wrong since i cheated? or maybe because i felt so degraded and new guy made me feel worthy?
nonetheless, walking away was the best thing.0 -
All right .. wtf is a lulz ???
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=lulz
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=lulz
People keep making fun of me today :sad:
never heard of it but thanks.. i'll use it from now on.0 -
Exactly! See, you're saying yourself that flirting/cheating is not always bad. Depends on how and when...Bad?
I mean, flirting - it can be nothing or everything.
the only thing with these situations if you end up with them is they probably have a lot of baggage.
i was with a bf who was abusive. this was before i got married, i was 18. i was with him for 2 years and i met a guy who made me feel worthy again. when you're in an abusive relationship, even though you know better, you somehow get trapped. anyway, i cheated on my abusive bf with this guy. i didn't end up with him, not even close but it sure gave me the strength to walk away. i don't know why or how... maybe because i knew that wasn't my character and something was REALLY wrong since i cheated? or maybe because i felt so degraded and new guy made me feel worthy?
nonetheless, walking away was the best thing.
Our beautiful world is not all black and white, it's a scale of grey.0 -
Flirting is ok to do but definitely off limits when the person is married or is in a relationship. To me it does matter when you are in a relationship.. If I was with someone and some other girl flirted with him and he flirted back, that would definitely hurt me because how I am suppose to trust that he won't flirt if we ever decide to move forward in our relationship such as getting married.
So being married and being in a relationship is off limits
Now flirting with other single people and friends are ok to do.0 -
Ok everyone - please don't beat me up. I met a new guy at work. I immediately was attracted to him. About halfway through our one day of working together (we are in different depts) I found out he was a "we". I wanted to cry. Long story short - we kept running into each other at the gym....he would e-mail me here at work.....and I find out his GF isn't making him happy. He NEVER EVER tried anything with me other then talk and laugh and ride bikes together at the gym. But it was obvious he liked me. And it was obvious I liked him. Well one Sunday morning I got the the "it's over" text. After I finished jumping up and down for joy and running around the house like a crazy person I responded. We hung out that day and had the best day ever. We kissed, nothing else. The very next day he left for training for work and will be back this Friday. I cannot wait. Now if he had ever mentioned fooling around with me while still with her I'd have a different opinion of him. But technically I did pursue him while he still was with her so am I a bad person? I don't think so. I felt a connection that I haven't felt in years with anyone and I was NOT going to not give it a shot.0
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Ok everyone - please don't beat me up. I met a new guy at work. I immediately was attracted to him. About halfway through our one day of working together (we are in different depts) I found out he was a "we". I wanted to cry. Long story short - we kept running into each other at the gym....he would e-mail me here at work.....and I find out his GF isn't making him happy. He NEVER EVER tried anything with me other then talk and laugh and ride bikes together at the gym. But it was obvious he liked me. And it was obvious I liked him. Well one Sunday morning I got the the "it's over" text. After I finished jumping up and down for joy and running around the house like a crazy person I responded. We hung out that day and had the best day ever. We kissed, nothing else. The very next day he left for training for work and will be back this Friday. I cannot wait. Now if he had ever mentioned fooling around with me while still with her I'd have a different opinion of him. But technically I did pursue him while he still was with her so am I a bad person? I don't think so. I felt a connection that I haven't felt in years with anyone and I was NOT going to not give it a shot.
I can understand this.. no you're not a bad person.
But like I said, he will have baggage and hopefully you're not a rebound? Then again, I've heard of these types of situations working out great!0 -
I'm hoping for your sake that it isn't a behavior he'll repeat on you.0
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I can understand this.. no you're not a bad person.
But like I said, he will have baggage and hopefully you're not a rebound? Then again, I've heard of these types of situations working out great!
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Well I am trying my best to stay mature about all of this and not get too attached. In the 5 weeks that we have been talking we have exchanged 3,220 text messages. And have talked on the phone for at least an hour total. Which is amazing for me because I HATE talking on the phone. We shall see.......and of course I will keep you posted!0 -
I'm hoping for your sake that it isn't a behavior he'll repeat on you.
But he didn't do anything other then be friends with me while still with her.0 -
My pooper is off limits. Exit only.0
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I can understand this.. no you're not a bad person.
But like I said, he will have baggage and hopefully you're not a rebound? Then again, I've heard of these types of situations working out great!
Well I am trying my best to stay mature about all of this and not get too attached. In the 5 weeks that we have been talking we have exchanged 3,220 text messages. And have talked on the phone for at least an hour total. Which is amazing for me because I HATE talking on the phone. We shall see.......and of course I will keep you posted!
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that's a lot of texts!! don't hate me but sounds like an emotional affair, that he was having???0
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