Do guys think single moms are easy?
PeekABooGirl
Posts: 218 Member
So my ex informs me that it's a known fact that single moms are easy. WTH?!?! Seriously?
What do you all think or what's been your experience? If anything, I think I'm MORE cautious now, being a single mom, simply because what I do ultimately ends up effecting my kids in one way or another. But he insists that men see me as easy prey. Desperate, lonely, etc. Could not be further from the truth.....certainly not desperate or lonely.
But - curious to see others points of view!
What do you all think or what's been your experience? If anything, I think I'm MORE cautious now, being a single mom, simply because what I do ultimately ends up effecting my kids in one way or another. But he insists that men see me as easy prey. Desperate, lonely, etc. Could not be further from the truth.....certainly not desperate or lonely.
But - curious to see others points of view!
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No but (this is embarrassing to admit) my ex who cheated had a thing for single moms because this is how HE saw them. Desperate and lonely women who were easy and craving attention. And the whole MILF thing got pretty big for a while.
Single moms are heros.
Your ex sounds like my ex. :grumble:0 -
single moms have a lot to juggle and a lot going on in their life. They are truly special because they are doing the job of parenting on their own which never gets a day off.
I think it is a little bit to harder to date a single mom because of their schedule, but I think you usually find that they are more enjoyable to go to dinner with because they appreciate the time they have away and realize that they have a lot to offer in a realtionship and not just as a mother.0 -
that hits the nail on the head exactly...
I think single mom's are more picky and less easy... this is just me... but I need to know the guy before I sleep with him to make sure he's not whacko!!! (so many of those!)
And if I do go to dinner with a guy - I'm very appreciative of the time and to be out... My kids are older so it's not as hard, but totally understand it being harder with younger kids!!!!single moms have a lot to juggle and a lot going on in their life. They are truly special because they are doing the job of parenting on their own which never gets a day off.
I think it is a little bit to harder to date a single mom because of their schedule, but I think you usually find that they are more enjoyable to go to dinner with because they appreciate the time they have away and realize that they have a lot to offer in a realtionship and not just as a mother.0 -
It's no different than single non-moms... there will always be easy ones, and there will always be the ones you need to trick into sleeping with you.
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He is trying to control and belittle you.
In his mind he is trying to keep you from having happiness or a "connection" with another guy.
The idea is to accuse you ahead of time of being loose so that you will make sure you prove him wrong.
Be happy he is your ex by the sounds.0 -
lol
Carl01 is right.0 -
I am a single mom and there is NOTHING easy about it. Just ignore him What a loser.0
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Yeah, I think it can be true in many cases...
There are a few categories of women who are on average easier picks (for sex - nobody said it was easy being a single mum):
- The young single mum who got her kid before her 20s or early 20s, and got dumped by the guy just after... So she would generally be less than 30 (22-26) and looking for some men who is "Mr Right" or who will "treat them right" (in their own words)... Well generally, they kind of miss the fun of going out, so it's fairly easy for a man to "matter" in their life (as someone said, they appreciate the time out when they have some) and they are fairly gullible as well.
To get these you need to lie and just play along.
- The 30+ y.o. woman who has just divorced from a LTR and has had children, and is now looking for some fun, really easy pick for a man who is less than 30 y.o (early 20s). She didn't have that many partners during her 20s so she wants to catch up.
For these, you need to just be direct.
Probably other categories as well.
Sorry, I didn't make the world this way. :flowerforyou:0 -
I am apparently. lol
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Yeah, I think it can be true in many cases...
There are a few categories of women who are on average easier picks (for sex - nobody said it was easy being a single mum):
- The young single mum who got her kid before her 20s or early 20s, and got dumped by the guy just after... So she would generally be less than 30 (22-26) and looking for some men who is "Mr Right" or who will "treat them right" (in their own words)... Well generally, they kind of miss the fun of going out, so it's fairly easy for a man to "matter" in their life (as someone said, they appreciate the time out when they have some) and they are fairly gullible as well.
To get these you need to lie and just play along.
- The 30+ y.o. woman who has just divorced from a LTR and has had children, and is now looking for some fun, really easy pick for a man who is less than 30 y.o (early 20s). She didn't have that many partners during her 20s so she wants to catch up.
For these, you need to just be direct.
Probably other categories as well.
Sorry, I didn't make the world this way. :flowerforyou:
The problem with that is any of those could apply to any woman or man at any given time.
"Single middle aged men are not ever interested in a relationship"
Those never married have never been very good around ladies so have accepted it won`t happen for them.
For this reason they are merely looking for one night stands as the best they can get.
Those just coming out of a marriage or LTR are burned out and tired of the work it takes so just don`t want to go down that road again.
The point being any broad based accusation can have "facts" asserted that make it plausible and in some cases probably true.
That does not however mean it is an unalterable rule simply because one can present those assertions.
As for the topic of the thread I can easily suggest that they are less likely to be easy as accused because
A)The mid 20s mom of an infant now on her own is far too preoccupied with being a good mom then to let a guy into her life easily.
B)The late 30s,early 40s divorcée is often feeling jaded and and angry about being rushed into intimacy and marriage at an early age,knows her body and how to satisfy herself so has no need to accept every guy that come along as a sexual partner or any guy quickly.
See,just as logical in the opposite manner and neither covers women accurately as a group.0 -
I am apparently. lol
Can`t prove it by me.
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I am apparently. lol
Can`t prove it by me.
OOOOH! Carl slides that one in there! Nice one man! Nice one!0 -
I think he's seeing a symptom of a different thing. Single moms have better established expectations. They know a guy is going to have to make sacrifices to date her, she's often happy to have adult conversation and attention, and in the right circumstance, she is a lot more comfortable about sex.0
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Or they are really good with women, not interested in LTR (Russel Brand's style). I could live with that until I reach my 35 personally (the clock doesn't tick really for us men). Not saying I wouldn't marry either if I met the right person, but you know... Life could be worse than chaining girlfriends.The problem with that is any of those could apply to any woman or man at any given time.
"Single middle aged men are not ever interested in a relationship"
Those never married have never been very good around ladies so have accepted it won`t happen for them.
For this reason they are merely looking for one night stands as the best they can get.
Plus the fact that men are less likely to have to keep the children full time (compared to women, on average), thus having more free time to date/go around.
Agree, but we deal with stats hereThat does not however mean it is an unalterable rule simply because one can present those assertions. It's just easier... on average. Of course it doesn't mean 100%!
Yeah, but it gets on your nerves being on your own with a child - it is tiring. Some mums would like to rest on someone's shoulder sometimes.A)The mid 20s mom of an infant now on her own is far too preoccupied with being a good mom then to let a guy into her life easily.
B)The late 30s,early 40s divorcée is often feeling jaded and and angry about being rushed into intimacy and marriage at an early age,knows her body and how to satisfy herself so has no need to accept every guy that come along as a sexual partner or any guy quickly.
And the guy who appears as "the right man" (so, with the right approach) will end up with them anyway. Why? Ask any of these ladies if they would like to meet their "Mr right" and 99.9% of them would say yes anyway (isn't it what we are all after anyway?).
I've never seen cheaters and liars approaching women saying "Hello, I'm a cheater and a liar".
Not saying you're going to win 100% of the time (never happens), but it's just a fact that a 30 y.o. single mum whose only channel to meet guys is online dating because she is too busy with the kid is an easier target than the 23 y.o. Miss Popular who has 5000 friends on Facebook, works as a model at the weekend and has got a list of suitor longer than my arm.
So yeah. Easier (rather than easy perhaps).0 -
At this point I guess we are talking two different subjects and not what I interpreted the thread to be about.
That being an accusation that single moms are easy as it pertains to having sex with a guy quickly into a meeting with him.0 -
Ug0
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Not saying you're going to win 100% of the time (never happens), but it's just a fact that a 30 y.o. single mum whose only channel to meet guys is online dating because she is too busy with the kid is an easier target than the 23 y.o. Miss Popular who has 5000 friends on Facebook, works as a model at the weekend and has got a list of suitor longer than my arm.
Yes! That's it, exactly.0 -
Who says that a 30 year old single mom only has time to meet people through online means? Sure, I've done my fair share of dating as a result of online sites, but I've also had many dates with people who I met through friends, or work, or a night out (And meeting people "organically" has often lead to a higher caliber of dates.) Just because we have limited free time doesn't mean we'll settle for a quick shag with an anonymous lech because we're lacking adult attention.
I'm far more selective in my old age and cannot believe some of the people I dated when I was young and carefree. I realize in my "old age" that I'm a catch, my kid is awesome, and holding out for someone of substance who will appreciate me (us), and not just my cooter.
It's a matter of finding someone who is busy themselves who can appreciate the time limitations, instead of being a selfish donkey who feels that a woman's attention needs to revolve around him 100% of the time.
Just my $.020 -
Yes, I realised that and added about my comment: "So yeah. Easier (rather than easy perhaps)." (by what I meant I realised my comment describe "easier" more than "easy" really).At this point I guess we are talking two different subjects and not what I interpreted the thread to be about.
That being an accusation that single moms are easy as it pertains to having sex with a guy quickly into a meeting with him.
That said, it wouldn't be a difficult stretch to imagine that someone who doesn't get as many opportunities for dating might be more often than not tempted to make the "most" of each of them, so that would probably where the reputation is coming from.0 -
I am not a single mom...not a mom at all, BUT my best friend is a single mom. We separated within a month of each other and I started datiing before she did, and was probably considered easier than she was. It was not that way when we were younger, but she had a small child to think about, where I did not have that responsibility.......so NO dont think single moms are easy
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I don't know yet. . I sure hope so.0
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I don't know yet. . I sure hope so.
you found your way here.......0 -
I think that there is a group of single moms that are pretty easy and that would be the ones that have 4 kids by 4 different men. That seems pretty easy to me. However, being a single mom of only 1 I would say that I am totally less easy then I was pre child. On occasion though there is that heavy childless wine night and that is a different story.0
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He is trying to control and belittle you.
In his mind he is trying to keep you from having happiness or a "connection" with another guy.
The idea is to accuse you ahead of time of being loose so that you will make sure you prove him wrong.
Be happy he is your ex by the sounds.
^This0 -
Not saying you're going to win 100% of the time (never happens), but it's just a fact that a 30 y.o. single mum whose only channel to meet guys is online dating because she is too busy with the kid is an easier target than the 23 y.o. Miss Popular who has 5000 friends on Facebook, works as a model at the weekend and has got a list of suitor longer than my arm.
So yeah. Easier (rather than easy perhaps).
Re the control and belittlement, it also works like this: He's trying to convince you that all men think like this ^^ ie that you have to be a model to attract a decent guy (hence making you feel insecure) and that guys view you as prey and are out to target you and take advantage of you (hence making you scared and less likely to get out there and meet someone new).
Happily they don't and when you get out there 90% of the time you will encounter genuine appreciation
I'm glad he's your ex
(Florian, I don't mean to suggest you think like this)0 -
I dated a single mum, last year. She was great. Didn't turn out to well, cause she was single mum and her son takes priority, which I totally get. It was all timing.
I wouldn't say they are easier, I would prob say they are easier to get along with as they don't want to play all the bull**** games you might get in a "regular" dating scenario0 -
I hadn't heard that before. I wouldn't necessarily say that I am easy because I am a single mom. I am easy because I was in two LTR from 16-28 and I am making up for it now. lol Okay, not really. I am secure with my needs and if I just want sex, I make that clear and if I am looking for a relationship, I make that clear as well.0
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He is trying to control and belittle you.
In his mind he is trying to keep you from having happiness or a "connection" with another guy.
The idea is to accuse you ahead of time of being loose so that you will make sure you prove him wrong.
Be happy he is your ex by the sounds.
Listen to Carl. he is very wise.0 -
single moms have a lot to juggle and a lot going on in their life. They are truly special because they are doing the job of parenting on their own which never gets a day off.
I think it is a little bit to harder to date a single mom because of their schedule, but I think you usually find that they are more enjoyable to go to dinner with because they appreciate the time they have away and realize that they have a lot to offer in a realtionship and not just as a mother.
Ahhh, a true gentleman!0 -
He is trying to control and belittle you.
In his mind he is trying to keep you from having happiness or a "connection" with another guy.
The idea is to accuse you ahead of time of being loose so that you will make sure you prove him wrong.
Be happy he is your ex by the sounds.
You've got him pegged, that's for sure. He's a narcissist. Very controlling and belittling. So what you say here makes absolute sense! He realized I was dating again because I was all dolled up when I dropped the kids off the other day. So I guess that's where it all stems from. Thanks for your insight!0
