What the hell is wrong with me?

aklitten

I feel like the month of March has been a disaster. I actually wonder if it's connected to the fact that I have broken up with my scale for the month. I just binged. Again, for the third time in a week. This NEVER would have happened back in November or December, when my weight loss was at its peak. I don't even know what to do right now...a lot of it is stress but I'm going to start to undo a lot of the progress I have made. In exactly 3 months I will be on the beach, wearing a 2-piece that I bought specifically for the occasion. If my recent habits keep going, I'm going to trash that adorable 2-piece for my stupid tankini that I don't want to wear. Help.

Jul158

It can be so challenging when you feel like you're taking steps backwards, I truly understand! For myself, I try to remember that great feeling of when I was losing lbs and how confident I am...and then plan my week out with intense detail. If I make myself busy and plan ahead for snacks and meals (not to the point of restriction), I'm less likely to drift away from it! Even though I know the temptation to lose control often seems to be looming all the time, I try to remember this quote "The thing about reaching your goal is that it's 100% possible. It's completely in your control. The only think stopping you is you..so get out of the way". Also, logging on here when I feel like making a poor decision is helpful! Take it one day at a time...one hour at a time if necessary. I can relate, but one day turns into two, then into a week.

InTheInbetween

March has been a bit of a struggle for me too. Like Jul158 says though, try to remember that you ARE strong enough to be in control over it! I know that a lot of time it doesn’t feel that way but you’ve obviously gotten the upper hand over it before so you can again just don’t give up!

I also try to plan things in great detail to keep me on track. I plan my food for the day and that is my entire food “universe” for the day. No other food exists outside of that universe. The trick is to make sure that my plan is going to reach my calorie goal and that I’m not restricting too much no matter how much I want to at the time. That’s what I struggle with when I’m on a good roll is NOT restricting excessively because we all know that inevitably leads to the next binge! I actually try to log on MFP ahead of time (like first thing in the morning) so that I’m compelled to stick to the food and portion sizes I’ve pre-planned. It works when I stick to the plan! If I eat anything outside of my little universe or if I don’t eat enough of what I planned, that’s when I get into trouble. Just having that structure seems to help and I have to remember that I am in control over whether I stick to my plan or not!

Hang in there and don’t give up! You can do this! :flowerforyou:

b3kah5

I just looked up one of my favorite quotes today: "Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up." Thomas Edison. You can do this, just don't ever give up.Every day that you haven't given up is a success! I really like the advise from InTheInbetween.

PeggyWoodson

I used to think that if I messed up on a diet that that was the end of the diet. I guess no one explained to me that it didn't have to stop there just because I ate something for one day that I shouldn't have. Now, at my age, I realize that it isn't the end of the world to binge as long as you get back on the bike and ride again.

Your question was "What the hell is wrong with me?" What's wrong is that you are doing what I call emotional eating. I've done this since I was six years old. When I am stressed, When I am depressed, Sad, angry, bored, upset, nervous, I eat. And not just a little bit. I can't fill up so I eat all day long then by the end of the day I hate myself so I eat some more. Sound familiar at all? Well, think about it. Where did you learn to eat through your stresses. I know where I learned mine.

I was six years old sitting in a hospital. I had just had facial plastic surgery to correct injuries to my face caused by an accident with an 18 wheeler. My mother would sit on my bed near me and feed me and I was scared to death. I must have connected the two because I quickly found out that as long as I ate, she would sit in my bed with me and feed me.

Now let me explain, I didn't go thought my life just knowing this. Someone asked me when I was in my 30s about the scar on my lip. I told her the situation and she said in the most empathetic way, "Oh,,,, Poor baby,,, you must have been scared to death." The minute she said it, all those emotions of the terrible fear washed over me and I wept so hard. It took me a good while to quit crying enough to drive myself home. But she was right. I was so afraid.

My question to this group is this. How does one go back and "fix" that. I have no clue. I'd love to find out. So, even now at 63, when I get upset, I eat. And even then I don't snap to it right away. I will have eaten quite a bit before I realize what is going on. And even then, knowing why I'm eating, doesn't help me to stop. I'd love to find out how to stop. Any ideas?