When guys are TOO nice..

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  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,370 Member
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    Serious question and would like an honest answer...

    Do you ladies realize that this tendency to over analyze or to read things into something that is not there is a self destructive habit and if so do you try to not do it?

    Really,maybe a guy is saying you look nice because he thinks you look nice,I do that with no expectations or desire to get in a ladys pants.

    Yes, we realise. But we are just wired that way!! :laugh:

    Not all men are like you Carl. Some men would even say 'I love you' to get sex!! Sad, but true :ohwell: Hence we over analyze to try and figure what type of guy we're dealing with. Pointless process though, as you say, as we can't really tell ...........but hey, women love to talk, so............

    I get that part of being wired that way but there are also ways a guy is wired yet that is often considered unacceptable,it just gets frustrating sometimes is all.

    As far as a man saying or doing something to get sex,yes it happens,will not argue it nor condone it but have also found that many ladies are perfectly willing to (at least online) have their "needs" met without any real feelings to go along with it.
    Most things are something of a 2 way street and understanding that can be helpful.
  • AllanMisner
    AllanMisner Posts: 4,140 Member
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    I've friendzoned girls on this one issue. I hate having to explain the words I used in a comment. I didn't write it down, redraft it, polish the wording and issue it. It just fell from head to mouth and out. If there were two ways you can evaluate it and one of them makes you mad, use the other one.
  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,855 Member
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    Serious question and would like an honest answer...

    Do you ladies realize that this tendency to over analyze or to read things into something that is not there is a self destructive habit and if so do you try to not do it?

    Really,maybe a guy is saying you look nice because he thinks you look nice,I do that with no expectations or desire to get in a ladys pants.

    UH YES. But I can't help it. My mind just does it.
    It's not as bad as when I was younger (thank GOD!) but boy my mind can run...
  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,855 Member
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    So latin lover last night said "look at you! you're so hot!!" And I just giggled like a dumb school girl and said "oh hush". :ohwell: That's all I could say. We were talking about profile pictures and a funny story about how he want out with a woman who said she was 35 and had fake pics of herself. She was 42 and the pics he had seen weren't of HER. lol So he was relieved that I was ME.
  • MissingMinnesota
    MissingMinnesota Posts: 7,486 Member
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    Serious question and would like an honest answer...

    Do you ladies realize that this tendency to over analyze or to read things into something that is not there is a self destructive habit and if so do you try to not do it?

    Really,maybe a guy is saying you look nice because he thinks you look nice,I do that with no expectations or desire to get in a ladys pants.

    I am fine with a one 'You look nice" compliment but after I say thank you, you look nice too I don't want a guy that keeps the compliments going and going. I tell a guy I am going to the gym and I get "You look great you don't need to" well yes I do need to if I want to keep looking great.
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,370 Member
    Options
    Serious question and would like an honest answer...

    Do you ladies realize that this tendency to over analyze or to read things into something that is not there is a self destructive habit and if so do you try to not do it?

    Really,maybe a guy is saying you look nice because he thinks you look nice,I do that with no expectations or desire to get in a ladys pants.

    I am fine with a one 'You look nice" compliment but after I say thank you, you look nice too I don't want a guy that keeps the compliments going and going. I tell a guy I am going to the gym and I get "You look great you don't need to" well yes I do need to if I want to keep looking great.

    When is the next compliment appropriate or desired and if that does not happen is it upsetting?
  • MissingMinnesota
    MissingMinnesota Posts: 7,486 Member
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    Serious question and would like an honest answer...

    Do you ladies realize that this tendency to over analyze or to read things into something that is not there is a self destructive habit and if so do you try to not do it?

    Really,maybe a guy is saying you look nice because he thinks you look nice,I do that with no expectations or desire to get in a ladys pants.

    I am fine with a one 'You look nice" compliment but after I say thank you, you look nice too I don't want a guy that keeps the compliments going and going. I tell a guy I am going to the gym and I get "You look great you don't need to" well yes I do need to if I want to keep looking great.

    When is the next compliment appropriate or desired and if that does not happen is it upsetting?

    More on the line of space them out don't clutter them all together and don't always compliment us on our looks. Mix it up.
  • lorro
    lorro Posts: 917 Member
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    Wow. We just can't win lol. I will give out compliments and I'm not shy to do so. Most of the time it's well received. One girl, wasn't used to it but from what she had told me about her exes, they were pretty much complete *kitten*. When I'm with a girl, I will prob at least tell call her gorgeous/beautiful as pet name sort of things. I'm not afraid to say how I feel either. If I like or love you I will tell you.

    In the end, I guess you girls are right, we as guys do want to sleep with you. That's the end result physically of dating I guess. But that doesn't mean whatsoever that a guy is only giving you a compliment to try and get in your pants... If its at a bar that's prob all he wants. If your a couple of weeks into dating and he gives you a compliment, take it. Thank the poor *kitten*, he's probably been dying to tell you since he first saw you :blushing:

    Love your thoughts, very honest, and true :flowerforyou:

    Agreed ^^^ wise beyond your years Nat
  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,855 Member
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    Be creative. If it's routine'ish such as "you like nice" or "you're so sexy" everytime I dress up, I won't believe it.

    My favorite compliments have been:

    Your legs look hot in those shoes.
    Your hair smells good.
    Your skin looks flawless.
    You're a brickhouse (lol)
    I love your hands.
    Your smile is contagious.


    I just feel with those type of compliments, the guy was really looking at me and paying attention to my hair or hands or whatever.
  • flimflamfloz
    flimflamfloz Posts: 1,980 Member
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    Be creative. If it's routine'ish such as "you like nice" or "you're so sexy" everytime I dress up, I won't believe it.

    My favorite compliments have been:

    Your legs look hot in those shoes.
    Your hair smells good.
    Your skin looks flawless.
    You're a brickhouse (lol)
    I love your hands.
    Your smile is contagious.
    Hmm... * writes everything down * :flowerforyou:

    Your smile looks flawless.
    Your hair look hot.
    Your feet smell good in those shoes.
    Your skin is contagious.
    I love your brickhouse.

    Thanks for the tips!
  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,855 Member
    Options
    Be creative. If it's routine'ish such as "you like nice" or "you're so sexy" everytime I dress up, I won't believe it.

    My favorite compliments have been:

    Your legs look hot in those shoes.
    Your hair smells good.
    Your skin looks flawless.
    You're a brickhouse (lol)
    I love your hands.
    Your smile is contagious.
    Hmm... * writes everything down * :flowerforyou:

    Your smile looks flawless.
    Your hair look hot.
    Your feet smell good in those shoes.
    Your skin is contagious.
    I love your brickhouse.

    Thanks for the tips!

    Are you drunk? (again) lol
  • MissingMinnesota
    MissingMinnesota Posts: 7,486 Member
    Options
    Be creative. If it's routine'ish such as "you like nice" or "you're so sexy" everytime I dress up, I won't believe it.

    My favorite compliments have been:

    Your legs look hot in those shoes.
    Your hair smells good.
    Your skin looks flawless.
    You're a brickhouse (lol)
    I love your hands.
    Your smile is contagious.
    Hmm... * writes everything down * :flowerforyou:


    Your feet smell good in those shoes.

    This one makes me LOL after the one guy smelled my shoe.
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,370 Member
    Options
    Be creative. If it's routine'ish such as "you like nice" or "you're so sexy" everytime I dress up, I won't believe it.

    My favorite compliments have been:

    Your legs look hot in those shoes.
    Your hair smells good.
    Your skin looks flawless.
    You're a brickhouse (lol)
    I love your hands.
    Your smile is contagious.
    Hmm... * writes everything down * :flowerforyou:


    Your feet smell good in those shoes.

    This one makes me LOL after the one guy smelled my shoe.

    :noway:
  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,855 Member
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    Okay going off to meet the Irish man. I am feeling hot! :bigsmile:
  • EmilyLStuart
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    It doesnt have to be so complicated. go with the flow. do what feels natural. If you are meant to be good company with each other, then you will automatically fall into a comfy medium when it comes to compliments.

    That being said...the best compliment I have ever recevied was from my best friend (completely in love with him but no touching kinda thing)

    sitting at the restraurant, waiter comments, oh she isnt your girlfriend? He looks at me and says..."No, she's outta my league"

    now THAT's a compliment :(
  • lorro
    lorro Posts: 917 Member
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    Awww that's sweet :smile:

    Reminds me of my friend who when I was very nervous about something, told me that no matter how great they thought I was, it couldn't come close to how fantastic he thought I was :blushing: