Online Dating Etiquette...

If a woman posts "no fatties" or indicates she wants someone in shape who can keep up with her... is it wrong to ask her what her 15k time is? And tell her that she looks skinny fat and I could run her into the ground? I mean really, it's only fair. lol

Replies

Moe4572

If a woman posts "no fatties" or indicates she wants someone in shape who can keep up with her... is it wrong to ask her what her 15k time is? And tell her that she looks skinny fat and I could run her into the ground? I mean really, it's only fair. lol

haha, that is funny

flimflamfloz

I've done a bit of bashing on POF... It helps with the nerves sometimes. I must say I'm always amazed at what people can come up with. Treat yourself! :bigsmile: (you'll end up ignored but eh... who cares!)

La_Amazona

Bullies!

I can't believe someone would put "no fatties". Wth?

MissingMinnesota

Bullies!

I can't believe someone would put "no fatties". Wth?

Oh I have seen the no fatties thing before. I sometimes want to say "If I can break you over my knee please do not message me"

ItsCasey

Look at it this way: online dating would be easier if the idiots, rude people, and general losers would self-identify. So I would view a person who says "no fatties" the same way I would someone with horrific spelling/grammar, someone who types like an 11-year-old on a cell phone, etc. ... as people not to be taken seriously. They're doing you a favor, really.

That said, I completely understand not wanting to date someone who isn't interested in fitness if you are someone who spends a lot of time on your health and appearance. "No fatties" is definitely jumping into the shallow end of that pool, however.

jaxdiablo

It's pretty funny actually. I look at all them and think, ok they're decent looking, but completely soft and would not be able to keep up anyway. I'm tempted to try to woo them just to take them hiking with me and see how they feel after 8-10 miles. lol

ItsCasey

It's pretty funny actually. I look at all them and think, ok they're decent looking, but completely soft and would not be able to keep up anyway. I'm tempted to try to woo them just to take them hiking with me and see how they feel after 8-10 miles. lol

Yeah, I also laugh at people who spend half an hour on an elliptical once or twice a week and call themselves "fit." Let's hand you a kettlebell that's half your bodyweight and see you do a Turkish get-up with it. Then we'll talk about how fit you are.

rammsteinsoldier

That is just plain mean. I don't know where people get off thinking they are so much better than someone else.

I say, teach them a lesson.

jend114

If a woman posts "no fatties" or indicates she wants someone in shape who can keep up with her... is it wrong to ask her what her 15k time is? And tell her that she looks skinny fat and I could run her into the ground? I mean really, it's only fair. lol

I saw go for it. Thats as bad as the guy I saw that said no single moms. Because apparently we don't deserve to be happy too.

flimflamfloz

If a woman posts "no fatties" or indicates she wants someone in shape who can keep up with her... is it wrong to ask her what her 15k time is? And tell her that she looks skinny fat and I could run her into the ground? I mean really, it's only fair. lol

I saw go for it. Thats as bad as the guy I saw that said no single moms. Because apparently we don't deserve to be happy too.

Oh, personally I can give single mums happiness... for one night only! :laugh: More than that, I'm just too stoopid and irresponsible anyway.

shamrck44

ItsCasey

I don't put "no single moms" in the same category as "no fatties." There are highly legitimate reasons why a man or woman may not want to date a single parent. Like it or not, it complicates things. I don't have kids, so I can't speak from personal experience, but I think I'd rather a man be upfront about that than wait until I'm emotionally invested to decide he can't be in a serious relationship with me over something he knew about from the beginning.

"No fatties" ... well, there are legitimate reasons why a person wouldn't want to date someone who is overweight (physical attraction, common values, et al), but terming it that way ... there's really no excuse for that.

ItsCasey

Yeah, I also laugh at people who spend half an hour on an elliptical once or twice a week and call themselves "fit." Let's hand you a kettlebell that's half your bodyweight and see you do a Turkish get-up with it. Then we'll talk about how fit you are.

Oh Turkish Getups are the devil! I can barely manage with 8kg KB.

I love them. Get-ups and snatches are my favorite KB lifts. I couldn't do get-ups with weight when I first started, but 24 kg is my current 1RM. It took me 6 months to build up to that, and I'm pretty proud of it because it is close to half my bodyweight, and I know several grown men who won't even try it. Proof that it's not the size of the dog in the fight, I suppose.

JanieJack

That said, I completely understand not wanting to date someone who isn't interested in fitness if you are someone who spends a lot of time on your health and appearance. "No fatties" is definitely jumping into the shallow end of that pool, however.

So what's the right way to say this? I like 'em "big and tall" but not weak and unable to keep up. I'm a bit larger, myself, so I would never write "no fatties," but maybe something like "must enjoy outdoor activities...?" What do you think?

yoovie

If a woman posts "no fatties" or indicates she wants someone in shape who can keep up with her... is it wrong to ask her what her 15k time is? And tell her that she looks skinny fat and I could run her into the ground? I mean really, it's only fair. lol

yes

Elzecat

Bullies!

I can't believe someone would put "no fatties". Wth?

It's the same thing as when a guy puts "must be height/weight proportionate." Just a supposedly nicer way of putting it.

La_Amazona

The only thing I've seen regarding weight was something along the lines of "no overweight chicks" and I thought THAT was offensive! Jeez.

jaxdiablo

If a woman posts "no fatties" or indicates she wants someone in shape who can keep up with her... is it wrong to ask her what her 15k time is? And tell her that she looks skinny fat and I could run her into the ground? I mean really, it's only fair. lol

yes

So wait, it is wrong to ask her 15k time and all that stuff?

kali2785

I don't think it's wrong, ask away!

yoovie

sorry its NOT wrong!!!

also- i dont think that putting your weight/height preferences is evil. If you know your sexual prefrences, then hey! it helps ahead of time!!!!

EmilyLStuart

I would never ever put "no fatties". Hell...I'm still a chunky butt, myself.

However, being active is important to me. I may get dragged thru the mud for this...but....I have recently worded it this way:

(I have changed my life to be more active and fit and adventurous and I want someone who is the same, so we can do things together and so I will have your support. If you do not engage in physical activity at least 1-2 times per week, dont message me. And stuff like riding fourwheelers or fishing do not count)

Must engage in some sort of physical activity at least 1-2 times per week â€“ this is important to me because I have to live an active lifestyle to maintain fitness, and I need a partner who is also active so we can do things together. Also, if my partner is active, then he will understand why I spend so much time working out and he will support me. Donâ€™t get me wrong, I am by no means super fit; I just live healthy to maintain a normal figure.

La_Amazona

sorry its NOT wrong!!!

also- i dont think that putting your weight/height preferences is evil. If you know your sexual prefrences, then hey! it helps ahead of time!!!!

On that note, I've thought of just putting my size on there but guys don't really understand women's sizes anyway. I wouldn't put my weight but I would my dress/ pant size! Might as well put it all out there... seems guys are worried about the weight issue from what I can tell.

La_Amazona

I would never ever put "no fatties". Hell...I'm still a chunky butt, myself.

However, being active is important to me. I may get dragged thru the mud for this...but....I have recently worded it this way:

(I have changed my life to be more active and fit and adventurous and I want someone who is the same, so we can do things together and so I will have your support. If you do not engage in physical activity at least 1-2 times per week, dont message me. And stuff like riding fourwheelers or fishing do not count)

Must engage in some sort of physical activity at least 1-2 times per week â€“ this is important to me because I have to live an active lifestyle to maintain fitness, and I need a partner who is also active so we can do things together. Also, if my partner is active, then he will understand why I spend so much time working out and he will support me. Donâ€™t get me wrong, I am by no means super fit; I just live healthy to maintain a normal figure.

First of all, you don't look like a chunky butt!!!

Second of all, I like what you have on your profile. Maybe I should add something like that... but then I'm afraid they'll think I'm shaped like P!nk or something.. all buff and super athletic. Ha! I'm still soft around the edges. :blushing:

yoovie

sorry its NOT wrong!!!

also- i dont think that putting your weight/height preferences is evil. If you know your sexual prefrences, then hey! it helps ahead of time!!!!

On that note, I've thought of just putting my size on there but guys don't really understand women's sizes anyway. I wouldn't put my weight but I would my dress/ pant size! Might as well put it all out there... seems guys are worried about the weight issue from what I can tell.

I agree! I usually say YO I am almost 6 ft tall, I have a 28 inch waist and a 37 inch inseam and you CAN pick me up and toss me.

ItsCasey

That said, I completely understand not wanting to date someone who isn't interested in fitness if you are someone who spends a lot of time on your health and appearance. "No fatties" is definitely jumping into the shallow end of that pool, however.

So what's the right way to say this? I like 'em "big and tall" but not weak and unable to keep up. I'm a bit larger, myself, so I would never write "no fatties," but maybe something like "must enjoy outdoor activities...?" What do you think?

One guy wrote something about how he works hard to be physically fit and is looking for a woman who shares that interest. To me, that's an acceptable way to get the point across. It does get complicated if you're still in the process of losing weight because fitness may very well be a priority for you, even if you're not yet physically what a guy like that is looking for.

I don't know how other people feel about it, but I'd be completely on board with dating a man who has a few pounds to lose, as long as he is genuinely making the effort. It's a character-building experience for sure, and I wouldn't turn my back on a good man just because I happened to lose my excess weight before he did. But I'm also not interested in anyone who has poor eating and exercise habits and sees nothing wrong with it. So I probably would phrase it in a way that makes it clear that fitness is important to me and that I'm not looking for a couch potato.

"No fatties" indicates a stunning lack of manners, which, for me, makes appearance irrelevant.

jaxdiablo

So any of the women in this thread who are accepting of a huskier man who is working on himself in the mood to move to jacksonville do a little dating, some outdoor activities and all that jazz? lol

meshashesha2012

i never knew women to put that kind of stuff in their profile, but then again i'm not really looking at women's profiles.

i've seen it on guy's profiles plenty of times and i dont find it offensive. i dont see why people have to be PC about what they are or arent physically attracted to. i know for me i cant kiss or even think about having sex with someone i dont find physically attractive, and for me, if i'm in a committed relationship their better be some kissing and sexing involved :laugh:

also i'm fine with dating huskier guys a)because i kinda like the extra chub and b)i'll probably be on the fluffier side of things myself for the rest of my life. i think it would all come down to overall health. i probably wont have anything in common with a guy who doesn't exercise at all and doesnt give a crap about what he eats, regardless of his size

MissingMinnesota

I am wondering why do guys post pictures of their cars/trucks/motorcycles? Do they think that is a turn on?

mrmanmeat

If a woman posts "no fatties" or indicates she wants someone in shape who can keep up with her... is it wrong to ask her what her 15k time is? And tell her that she looks skinny fat and I could run her into the ground? I mean really, it's only fair. lol

I saw go for it. Thats as bad as the guy I saw that said no single moms. Because apparently we don't deserve to be happy too.

I'm not an *kitten*, but I agree with him.
I've done it before, it's not really something that I'm interested in again. it's just not for me.

I don't mean anything bad by it, but if I'm going to be in the relationship, it should be the one I want, right?

shamrck44

If a woman posts "no fatties" or indicates she wants someone in shape who can keep up with her... is it wrong to ask her what her 15k time is? And tell her that she looks skinny fat and I could run her into the ground? I mean really, it's only fair. lol

I saw go for it. Thats as bad as the guy I saw that said no single moms. Because apparently we don't deserve to be happy too.

I'm not an *kitten*, but I agree with him.
I've done it before, it's not really something that I'm interested in again. it's just not for me.

I don't mean anything bad by it, but if I'm going to be in the relationship, it should be the one I want, right?

As a single Mom I would rather see someone tell you up front that they aren't looking for that. I don't see anything wrong with it. It is a deal breaker like any other. Being upfront about what you do and don't want is a time saver, it is how you word things that is important. Not that you care if someone you don't know thinks you're an asshat, but it may turn off potential dates.