self-esteem issues trigger binges? New member needs support

madc91

Just wondering if I'm alone in this....

I have a history of emotional eating and ED's. I'm about 20lbs overweight and I really want to lose it the healthy way this time, but my bulimia and emotional eating tendencies make it difficult. I find it's easier for me to stick to a diet and avoid those all consuming urges to binge if I'm feeling good about myself, but when something happens, like my BF saying something I interpret as a jab at my weight or something (which he's never actually done, I'm just crazy hyper-sensitive) my self-esteem crashes and I just binge non-stop, usually on sweets and carbs. ANy of you have similar experiences? What do you do to avoid that feeling? When I get the urge to binge I feel like a drug addict or something. I really can't take it anymore and I hate the way I look and I'm scared my BF does too. I'm basically afraid of losing the people I love and hating myself forever because of how I look. I just really need some friendship and support/advice here I guess.

spudlovie

Oh man, I know exactly how you feel with the binge eating. When I get it in my mind that I am going to binge eat nothing can stop me and I eat EVERYTHING!!! I dunno what causes these yet though. I do have low self esteem. I really do need to work on it. Maybe next time we feel like eating, we should go to gym, go to bed ( I do know I binge when I am tired), go for a walk, or just leave the house. I say being addicted to food is the worst addiction out there because we have to eat, temptation is everywhere. I used to go to the mall and walk around but the mall is a very dangerous place. I feel ya sister. I am going to try if I want to binge, turning on a work out video instead, or go to sleep. Let's see how I do.

kristenlees122

you are 100% not alone... i try to tell myself everything in moderation, and then i have a bad day and i go crazy.. milkshake, fries, chocolate, candy, ice cream... i'm sure i would feel better about myself if i had one of these things every couple of days, but instead, i be super good and then binge like a crazy person. and it never ever, ever!! makes me feel better about myself, so why do i do it?? no idea. my boyfriend has never said a bad thing about my weight, i lost a few pounds a few months ago and he has told me i look much better but wouldnt hate if i gained it all back, but i just compare myself to everyone else around me, my best friend is taller than me and 10lbs lighter. i just got 2 new bikinis from VS and am determined to wear them and feel good in summer, its just around the corner. anyway. i am definitely a binge eater, and i'm definitely a late night binge eater. i try to do what people suggest and keep myself busy - read, watch a movie, workout etc. but the problem is, i can read and eat at the same time, and i'm not going to workout at 11pm at night, which is normally when the cravings hit. but what i am going to try and do from today onwards is when i feel a craving come on, i am going to drink a full bottle of water and bust out some squats and lunges or something.
anyway. i'm just babbling now, but basically, i want to say you are definitely not alone, and try and share my thoughts. i try to tell myself 'if you arent hungry for an apple, you arent hungry' or the big one 'is it really worth it?' i dont think we should deprive ourselves completely, just make smarter decisions and eat well 80% of the time.
ANYWAY! I was anorexic when i was younger - when i was 13-15, i'm 25 now, but they do say you never get over it.
you should check out the londoner - i came across her blog by finding a picture on pinterest, she has this post called the anti diet and it really made sense to me and i took a lot from it. here's the link:

http://www.thelondoner.me/2012/01/anti-diet.html

anyway!! good luck, and just keep remembering you can do it

jlg6599

I have a very serious issue wih this. I'm not sure how to quite deal with yet so I will keep an eye on this post for ideas.

jukemaster

I swear you just described my wife. My emotional eating is very different, but I do get the drug addict element. When I have a really off day, I feel like I need a heroin fix or something. My wife and I had to make very major changes in our lives to get over some of our issues with food. She still struggles with some elements of the bulimia even if she's not throwing up anymore. The mental component is just so huge that it's hard to ever really get over the disease. We both did therapy and we've changed a lot of our social habits and we're actively engaging in positive social activities now. In the end, we really had to identify and confront the people/events that instilled these negative emotions and behaviors in our way of life. Until we did that, it was a much bigger struggle. Sure, we could try and engage in other things as a distraction, but that never really solves the source of the issue. We had to get to the source of things to move forward. We still have some off days, but that's to be expected. You're not alone, that's for sure.