Question for Ladies
Jeneba
Posts: 699 Member
Have you ever dated a much younger man? How did it work out - or not...
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Replies
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Well I'm not that old (25) but I prefer to date men between 28-35 because they seem to be more mature at that age. There are always exceptions though. Just go with your gut.0
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Depends on what you mean by much younger.
J#1 was 29 while I was 34. I think it has more to do on what stages in life your at then age. This is probably why I like to date guys in the late 20s early 30s compared to older then me. I just fit better with them being out and active usually living by themselves with no roommates.0 -
I dated a guy who was 3 years younger. He was very smart, so we had a lot to talk about, and he was funny and playful, so we always had a good time together. But he did not have any kind of plan for his life because he was still in the mindset that he was young and invincible and had plenty of time to figure things out. That started to annoy me after a while. He was too old to keep acting like a fratboy, but that's essentially what he was doing.
If by "much younger," you mean 10+ years, no, and I don't think I ever would unless I have some kind of midlife crisis.0 -
I dated a guy who was 3 years younger. He was very smart, so we had a lot to talk about, and he was funny and playful, so we always had a good time together. But he did not have any kind of plan for his life because he was still in the mindset that he was young and invincible and had plenty of time to figure things out. That started to annoy me after a while. He was too old to keep acting like a fratboy, but that's essentially what he was doing.
If by "much younger," you mean 10+ years, no, and I don't think I ever would unless I have some kind of midlife crisis.0 -
No, but my mom keeps telling me to stop wasting time with these old guys and go get a young buck.
My stepdad is 15 years younger than her, and they've been happy (and spicily) married for 20-something (I forget) now. Unfortunately, when a significantly younger guy comes into my life, he's usually not looking for a relationship (kwim?).0 -
Midlife Crisis!!!! EXACTLY!!!! It's called 11+ years of celebacy..... :laugh:0
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No, I haven't dated anyone significantly younger, but I would if it were the right person. I say go for it if you're really into someone!0
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My boyfriend (eeeeks!) is the youngest I've dated so far. I'll be 33 in a couple of weeks and he just turned 29. So far, we're good. I don't act my age and he says I don't look it. It doesn't bother us at all.0
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No, but my mom keeps telling me to stop wasting time with these old guys and go get a young buck.
My stepdad is 15 years younger than her, and they've been happy (and spicily) married for 20-something (I forget) now. Unfortunately, when a significantly younger guy comes into my life, he's usually not looking for a relationship (kwim?).
I think 15 years would be my limit. But I really think it depends on the couple and the situation/mind set you're both in.
If Morgan Freeman, 72 can marry his step Grandaughter, 27,then anything goes!! :laugh:0 -
I had a fwb 4 years younger....way too immature. My opinion is that guys my own age still haven't grown up... Most men don't ever grow up...so younger??? Not for me!0
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If by "much younger," you mean 10+ years, no, and I don't think I ever would unless I have some kind of midlife crisis.
Very sweeping and naive comment if I may say so :flowerforyou:
Attraction is very much a unique set of circumstances and situations that have no pre defined rhyme or reason.! Nobody can say why or how or what made it happen, cos most of the time, it just 'happens'!! The choice then presents itself: "do I" or "do I not"?
Only you can decide that one OP. :flowerforyou:
ETA: But based on your 11 years of celebacy, I know what I would do!! Jeez! Less thinking, more action!!! :laugh:0 -
When I was in my early 30's, I almost exclusively dated women 6 - 9 years older than me. They were much more comfortable with their bodies, which made for hotter sex. After turning 36, I shifted to mostly dating younger women.
I agree it has to do with life stages and what you find attractive. If you aren't on the same lifepath, it really doesn't matter what ages you each are, it isn't going long-term. If you are, it can be magic!0 -
Midlife Crisis!!!! EXACTLY!!!! It's called 11+ years of celebacy..... :laugh:
You only live once and I think you should do whatever which body part, be it your heart, mind, nether regions, is telling you to go for it. As long as he is a legal adult.0 -
I tend to stick to a +/- 5 rule, but I've stretched that to 7 in the past (without success, obviously).0
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Ive seen some of my best mates get bailed up at bars by much older woman.. 10-15 yrs older.
They arent against it.... sometimes.0 -
You have all made me smile this morning.... Not sure yet where this will go or not go.... We'll see..... :blushing:0
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I LOVE smart strong women.
I try to date women who have their own thing going on and not have the relationship be the center of their life. Not sure if that makes sense but women who have a good job, good credit, their own place, wait, did I just turn into a woman?0 -
*raises hand* uh yeh .. I am right now seeing somone who is .. gulp .. 14 years younger than I. I am 39 and he is 25. It still freaks me out to say or type that. lol. But I am crazy about him. He doesn't act like a 25 year old tho and I don't think I act 39 so .. we are good. At least for now anyway.. only time will tell what happens, but right now .. its perfect. I think its less about age and more about how you "fit" with someone. He is like my other half. He is sweet and thoughtful and beautiful and kind and makes me feel like I am the only person in the world that is right for him. He is more considerate and mature than any older man I have EVER met. So .. it is definately about the person .. not the age.0
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When I was in my early 30's, I almost exclusively dated women 6 - 9 years older than me. They were much more comfortable with their bodies, which made for hotter sex. After turning 36, I shifted to mostly dating younger women.
Curious why the sudden switch? Was it intentional or just who you happened to be meeting at the time?0 -
When I was in my early 30's, I almost exclusively dated women 6 - 9 years older than me. They were much more comfortable with their bodies, which made for hotter sex. After turning 36, I shifted to mostly dating younger women.
Curious why the sudden switch? Was it intentional or just who you happened to be meeting at the time?
Not speaking for amisnercpa, but for the guys I work with, it's because older women = more hot sex with minimal effort. Older women are more experienced sexually, and with less men to choose from, when they finally get one in bed they make it count. The guys their age are looking for younger women to sex and settle down with, and so the older woman will do more with less effort on the guys part (just because no one else is barking up her tree). You don't have to woo them like you would a young 20somethng hottie with suitors lined up for miles.
Then, when a man gets older, more established he has much more to offer (can wine and dine her to buy her sex and affections) and can get the younger woman’s attention when he may not have been able to command her attention when he was her age. And now the "younger women" are old enough to be more comfortable with their sexuality too.0 -
YIkes, JJ!!! :blushing:0
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Not speaking for amisnercpa, but for the guys I work with, it's because older women = more hot sex with minimal effort. Older women are more experienced sexually, and with less men to choose from, when they finally get one in bed they make it count. The guys their age are looking for younger women to sex and settle down with, and so the older woman will do more with less effort on the guys part (just because no one else is barking up her tree). You don't have to woo them like you would a young 20somethng hottie with suitors lined up for miles.
Then, when a man gets older, more established he has much more to offer (can wine and dine her to buy her sex and affections) and can get the younger woman’s attention when he may not have been able to command her attention when he was her age. And now the "younger women" are old enough to be more comfortable with their sexuality too.
Really?? Age = Experience?? I think you may find that your friends are living a fantasy rather than a reality! :laugh: I'm learning more about sex from you 20+ peeps on here than I could ever have had the imagination for in my entire 'experience' !! :laugh:
Seriously, age does not equate to sexual experience!! That is a myth. Think of this: Married for 20 years to the same guy. Now single and 40+. Been doing the same damn missionary and doggy position once a week on a friday after the kids are in bed, for the last 20 years!! How is that 'experience'??
Of course, if you started at 14, and clocked up 25 partners, 10 of which were adventurous and experimental, by the time you got married at 25, then you may well have more experience. But I think you'll find that women in their 40's and 50's now didnt lose their virginity until late teens (and that was to someone they had a long term relationship with), or sleep around anywhere near as much as they did in the 60's or the 90's. Pretty much a generational thing.
As for 'making it count', well, I can't even get my head round that statement :noway: doesn't everyone just make an effort to have the best sex they can?? No matter what age?? I mean if you laid there like a sack of potatoes for 20 years, then do you think that you are all of a sudden a chandelier, somersaulting nymph because you are single and older?? :laugh:
As for 'minimal effort' I think you will find that that is rubbish too!! As you get older, you know exactly what you want in a man. You're a lot MORE discerning about who you date. And you are totally aware that if you're approached by and much younger man that his fantasy of you can be purely sexual! Therefore, he has to work about 10x harder to get you there!! Ok, this may be a real turn on in terms of challenge (adding to the fantasy of it all, cos when you get this older woman in bed its going to be so mind blowing....end sarcasm) but I think you will find that a woman has the same values at 20 as she does at 50!
The woman of which you speak is insecure and desperate!! And I'm afraid there are plenty of women like that at 16, 26, 36........etc
I trust I have dispelled the myth about older women! :flowerforyou: Perhaps you'd like to go tell your colleagues that their perceptions are offensive and thoughtless, and perhaps a bit of 'wishful thinking' :laugh:
PS Obviously if an older woman just wants a shag, then she may well just go for it, without the guilt. But as the OP has been celibate for 11 years...............dispels that myth too!0 -
I don't have to tell my colleagues anything contrary. I've been on enough military trips with my coworkers, watched them in action, and I think what they say is true for the great number of women they approach. My last boyfriend, who owned a couple of bars and taught me much of what I know about tricks guys play, also verified this. This is probably why I'm so resistant to my mom's advice (and so thrilled that Helovesme87's experience is NOT this way).
When they just want to get laid, they go for the older, uglier, heavy girls. When they want to find a girlfriend or wife, they go for the young beautiful (and often crazy!) girls. Then eventually they get their heads (both of them) screwed on straight and start looking for what really matters.
I'm not insinuating the intelligent, strong, and confident women on this board are so attention and sex starved that they'll do anything for a guy who shows them a drop of interest, but at least in America that's where it looks like a lot of your 30 and 40 something men are coming from.0 -
When I was 29 (I'm 33 now) I briefly dated a 22 year old. It was horrible and I quit seeing him after a couple months. There were just WAY TOO many differences! Maybe for some people it works but not for me. Good luck!0
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Not speaking for amisnercpa, but for the guys I work with, it's because older women = more hot sex with minimal effort. Older women are more experienced sexually, and with less men to choose from, when they finally get one in bed they make it count. The guys their age are looking for younger women to sex and settle down with, and so the older woman will do more with less effort on the guys part (just because no one else is barking up her tree). You don't have to woo them like you would a young 20somethng hottie with suitors lined up for miles.
Then, when a man gets older, more established he has much more to offer (can wine and dine her to buy her sex and affections) and can get the younger woman’s attention when he may not have been able to command her attention when he was her age. And now the "younger women" are old enough to be more comfortable with their sexuality too.
Really?? Age = Experience?? I think you may find that your friends are living a fantasy rather than a reality! :laugh: I'm learning more about sex from you 20+ peeps on here than I could ever have had the imagination for in my entire 'experience' !! :laugh:
Seriously, age does not equate to sexual experience!! That is a myth. Think of this: Married for 20 years to the same guy. Now single and 40+. Been doing the same damn missionary and doggy position once a week on a friday after the kids are in bed, for the last 20 years!! How is that 'experience'??
Of course, if you started at 14, and clocked up 25 partners, 10 of which were adventurous and experimental, by the time you got married at 25, then you may well have more experience. But I think you'll find that women in their 40's and 50's now didnt lose their virginity until late teens (and that was to someone they had a long term relationship with), or sleep around anywhere near as much as they did in the 60's or the 90's. Pretty much a generational thing.
As for 'making it count', well, I can't even get my head round that statement :noway: doesn't everyone just make an effort to have the best sex they can?? No matter what age?? I mean if you laid there like a sack of potatoes for 20 years, then do you think that you are all of a sudden a chandelier, somersaulting nymph because you are single and older?? :laugh:
As for 'minimal effort' I think you will find that that is rubbish too!! As you get older, you know exactly what you want in a man. You're a lot MORE discerning about who you date. And you are totally aware that if you're approached by and much younger man that his fantasy of you can be purely sexual! Therefore, he has to work about 10x harder to get you there!! Ok, this may be a real turn on in terms of challenge (adding to the fantasy of it all, cos when you get this older woman in bed its going to be so mind blowing....end sarcasm) but I think you will find that a woman has the same values at 20 as she does at 50!
The woman of which you speak is insecure and desperate!! And I'm afraid there are plenty of women like that at 16, 26, 36........etc
I trust I have dispelled the myth about older women! :flowerforyou: Perhaps you'd like to go tell your colleagues that their perceptions are offensive and thoughtless, and perhaps a bit of 'wishful thinking' :laugh:
PS Obviously if an older woman just wants a shag, then she may well just go for it, without the guilt. But as the OP has been celibate for 11 years...............dispels that myth too!
LOVE THIS!0 -
My ex-boyfriend was 4 months younger than me lol....I know that is not much, but now I can say is that I dont think I can ever date anyone younger than me, even when I get older. I know and I just know I am definitely attracted to older guys than me.
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When I was in my early 30's, I almost exclusively dated women 6 - 9 years older than me. They were much more comfortable with their bodies, which made for hotter sex. After turning 36, I shifted to mostly dating younger women.
Curious why the sudden switch? Was it intentional or just who you happened to be meeting at the time?
Not speaking for amisnercpa, but for the guys I work with, it's because older women = more hot sex with minimal effort. Older women are more experienced sexually, and with less men to choose from, when they finally get one in bed they make it count. The guys their age are looking for younger women to sex and settle down with, and so the older woman will do more with less effort on the guys part (just because no one else is barking up her tree). You don't have to woo them like you would a young 20somethng hottie with suitors lined up for miles.
Then, when a man gets older, more established he has much more to offer (can wine and dine her to buy her sex and affections) and can get the younger woman’s attention when he may not have been able to command her attention when he was her age. And now the "younger women" are old enough to be more comfortable with their sexuality too.
Ok so, men... I was kinda wondering if you were gonna offer an opinion on this... if you were gonna respond with something like your friends aren't like my coworkers and that I'm surrounded by a special subset of jerks. Though I don't necessarily consider this jerky behavior, just realistic.0 -
Really?? Age = Experience?? I think you may find that your friends are living a fantasy rather than a reality! :laugh: I'm learning more about sex from you 20+ peeps on here than I could ever have had the imagination for in my entire 'experience' !! :laugh:
This ^^
In my early 20's I was with a girl a couple of years younger, got together just after her 18th birthday.... Sex with her was off this planet, Mind = Blown (not even a metaphor) :laugh:
Any of the girls I have been with, have only benefited from me being with her lol.
Havent had sex like that ever again :blushing:0 -
One of the main reasons I am attracted to "him" is that he is tired (already at age 37) of women who are only interested in mind-blowing sex. He is an artist and a personal trainer,he works really hard to keep himself in shape, and he is a beautiful KIND MAN! He also has no hesitation whatsoever about telling me that I am beautiful and fascinating to him. It made me realize that NONE of my past lovers and/or husbands EVER gave me that kind of compliment.... so, either THEY were blind or I was! What did I see in those withholding, self-centered men? :huh:0
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When I was in my early 30's, I almost exclusively dated women 6 - 9 years older than me. They were much more comfortable with their bodies, which made for hotter sex. After turning 36, I shifted to mostly dating younger women.
Curious why the sudden switch? Was it intentional or just who you happened to be meeting at the time?
Not speaking for amisnercpa, but for the guys I work with, it's because older women = more hot sex with minimal effort. Older women are more experienced sexually, and with less men to choose from, when they finally get one in bed they make it count. The guys their age are looking for younger women to sex and settle down with, and so the older woman will do more with less effort on the guys part (just because no one else is barking up her tree). You don't have to woo them like you would a young 20somethng hottie with suitors lined up for miles.
Then, when a man gets older, more established he has much more to offer (can wine and dine her to buy her sex and affections) and can get the younger woman’s attention when he may not have been able to command her attention when he was her age. And now the "younger women" are old enough to be more comfortable with their sexuality too.
Ok so, men... I was kinda wondering if you were gonna offer an opinion on this... if you were gonna respond with something like your friends aren't like my coworkers and that I'm surrounded by a special subset of jerks. Though I don't necessarily consider this jerky behavior, just realistic.
While I think you've captured some of the base logic, I wouldn't say you've gotten the intent.
What I found was that older women were more comfortable with sex. It was a combination of experience, hormones and that everyone finds younger people hot. At that point in time, I didn't think about long-term nearly as much. I wanted something fun, comfortable and solid. Looking back, I see that it was their confidence that attracted me. And, they tended to be longer relationships (one of which led to marriage).
As for the switch, it wasn't so much what I was doing, but what the women were doing. I lived in Austin and would go out a lot (I love live music). Younger women were approaching me. It was fun and comfortable. Just nothing solid. But being twice divorced, I wasn't in a hurry to get in a long-term relationship, so I went with it. Being older, I had more patience to deal with whatever awkwardness there might be.
Now, I feel like I'm reaching another stage in my life. I know my lifepath and I need someone who shares that path. That person will likely be close to my age (BTW, I'm pretty sure I've found her).
Men are not solely driven by sex. It is important to us, and most likely the #1 item. But we also want companionship, romance and pampering.0
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