Question for Ladies
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Ok so, men... I was kinda wondering if you were gonna offer an opinion on this... if you were gonna respond with something like your friends aren't like my coworkers and that I'm surrounded by a special subset of jerks. Though I don't necessarily consider this jerky behavior, just realistic.
While I think you've captured some of the base logic, I wouldn't say you've gotten the intent.
What I found was that older women were more comfortable with sex. It was a combination of experience, hormones and that everyone finds younger people hot. At that point in time, I didn't think about long-term nearly as much. I wanted something fun, comfortable and solid. Looking back, I see that it was their confidence that attracted me. And, they tended to be longer relationships (one of which led to marriage).
As for the switch, it wasn't so much what I was doing, but what the women were doing. I lived in Austin and would go out a lot (I love live music). Younger women were approaching me. It was fun and comfortable. Just nothing solid. But being twice divorced, I wasn't in a hurry to get in a long-term relationship, so I went with it. Being older, I had more patience to deal with whatever awkwardness there might be.
Now, I feel like I'm reaching another stage in my life. I know my lifepath and I need someone who shares that path. That person will likely be close to my age (BTW, I'm pretty sure I've found her).
Men are not solely driven by sex. It is important to us, and most likely the #1 item. But we also want companionship, romance and pampering.
To what I would add this comment:
<= 22 years oldMy ex-boyfriend was 4 months younger than me lol....I know that is not much, but now I can say is that I dont think I can ever date anyone younger than me, even when I get older. I know and I just know I am definitely attracted to older guys than me.
So when you are 20 - 25 years old man basically, you either find 16 years old partners and speak about Justin Bieber or 30+ years old and can have some beginning of relationship/sex (the women from 25 - 30 will date men in 25 - 30 too).
Younger women: I want to find an older man as a partner.
Older women: I want to have fun with a younger man OR find a partner my age or older.
So yep, your options in your early twenties are pretty much: older women for fun.
Which is why I think the golden age for a man is: 25 - 30.
You get:
- women from 18 - 25: you're not too old yet, so can still date them (a bit more effort is required for the range 18-20, range 20-25 is easy)
- women from 25 - 30: when you are 27 - 29 this bracket becomes your natural bracket (so particularly true in your late 20s)
- women from 30 - 35: who are opening their dating pools to younger men because they are less stupid than the women in their 20s
- women from 35 - 40: who are here for fun, mostly, and get excited at the thought of dating a younger man.
Source: I am in this age bracket, trust me...0 -
- women from 35 - 40: who are here for fun, mostly, and get excited at the thought of dating a younger man.
Source: I am in this age bracket, trust me...
- women from 35 - 60 (or the age you stop bothering!)
This is NOT the only reason why older women date younger men (and I mean date, rather than just shag). Its not the 'excitement' or flattery of engaging a younger man that does it. (Although I'm sure all the women that pounce on you are very excited Florian :flowerforyou: )
The sad facts are that most 'good' men in their late 30's and 40's are taken! That, and the fact that a lot of men in their 40s are losing the will to live! :laugh: They stop caring about themselves, they can't be bothered to try new things, they go buy some slippers and sit in front the tv stroking their beer belly!! (rather than the days when they used to stroke their c*ck!!!) :laugh: Then there are the divorcees who are so bitter and resentful towards women because of their downtrodden 20 year marriage........ None of this is attractive to an older woman in their sexual prime and flowering into the confident, self assured lady of which Allan mentions.
Also Allan, who mentioned hormones, you're right, a woman reaches her sexual peak at 35-45. A man reached his at 18-25? Where's the sense in that!! :grumble:
Disclaimer: Obviously none of the 40+ men on MFP are lazy, good for nothing, beer girglin losers :bigsmile:
Source: ME!!
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When I was in my early 30's, I almost exclusively dated women 6 - 9 years older than me. They were much more comfortable with their bodies, which made for hotter sex. After turning 36, I shifted to mostly dating younger women.
Curious why the sudden switch? Was it intentional or just who you happened to be meeting at the time?
Not speaking for amisnercpa, but for the guys I work with, it's because older women = more hot sex with minimal effort. Older women are more experienced sexually, and with less men to choose from, when they finally get one in bed they make it count. The guys their age are looking for younger women to sex and settle down with, and so the older woman will do more with less effort on the guys part (just because no one else is barking up her tree). You don't have to woo them like you would a young 20somethng hottie with suitors lined up for miles.
Then, when a man gets older, more established he has much more to offer (can wine and dine her to buy her sex and affections) and can get the younger woman’s attention when he may not have been able to command her attention when he was her age. And now the "younger women" are old enough to be more comfortable with their sexuality too.
Ok so, men... I was kinda wondering if you were gonna offer an opinion on this... if you were gonna respond with something like your friends aren't like my coworkers and that I'm surrounded by a special subset of jerks. Though I don't necessarily consider this jerky behavior, just realistic.
Yep! Jerks!! I've seen men like this get together in their macho tribes and target vulnerable groups.
Don't get me wrong, there's no doubt that stereotypically there is a target group that would be more willing to sexually engage a man in uniform, or a charming man on heat, or just a man!! :laugh: but to say that all men think like that is rather derogatory to a decent man, who would rather jerk off than sleep with a woman that desperate. And to say all women that are fat, ugly and old drop their pants for any man is derogatory too! Like I said, you dont lose your morals/standards just because you age :flowerforyou:
I dont know much about the American military and I hate to stereotype, but it does sound rather tribal..........
Anyway Janie, I have more faith in men than what you're protraying, perhaps I've just been lucky :smooched:0 -
One of the main reasons I am attracted to "him" is that he is tired (already at age 37) of women who are only interested in mind-blowing sex. He is an artist and a personal trainer,he works really hard to keep himself in shape, and he is a beautiful KIND MAN! He also has no hesitation whatsoever about telling me that I am beautiful and fascinating to him. It made me realize that NONE of my past lovers and/or husbands EVER gave me that kind of compliment.... so, either THEY were blind or I was! What did I see in those withholding, self-centered men? :huh:
He sounds lovely Jeneba. Give the guy a chance. He sounds like one of the good ones :flowerforyou:0 -
Thanks - yes! But have to be careful!!! Don't want to add to hurt for anyone, him or me.... :flowerforyou:0
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Dat's true! I wanted to write that but forgot to edit the age range to 35+.- women from 35 - 60 (or the age you stop bothering!)
I'm still single... Ladies snatch me quickly so that you don't end up desperate in your late 30s!!! :laugh:The sad facts are that most 'good' men in their late 30's and 40's are taken!0 -
Which is why I think the golden age for a man is: 25 - 30.
You get:
- women from 18 - 25: you're not too old yet, so can still date them (a bit more effort is required for the range 18-20, range 20-25 is easy)
- women from 25 - 30: when you are 27 - 29 this bracket becomes your natural bracket (so particularly true in your late 20s)
- women from 30 - 35: who are opening their dating pools to younger men because they are less stupid than the women in their 20s
- women from 35 - 40: who are here for fun, mostly, and get excited at the thought of dating a younger man.
Source: I am in this age bracket, trust me...
Pretty accurate. That's why right now dating is a big priority for me. I'm looking to get it right this time around because if I make a good choice in this age bracket, I can be set.0 -
For me personally, I just don't seem to have alot in common with guys that are younger than me. I had kids very young, was married for a long long time and I find most guys that are even 3 to 4 years younger are just too immature still. Not to say i wouldn't just haven't found one that stimulated me for than just physically. hahaha0
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Dat's true! I wanted to write that but forgot to edit the age range to 35+.- women from 35 - 60 (or the age you stop bothering!)
I'm still single... Ladies snatch me quickly so that you don't end up desperate in your late 30s!!! :laugh:The sad facts are that most 'good' men in their late 30's and 40's are taken!
:laugh: Roll up, roll up!! Florian is flaunting his French fancie for freeeeeee !!! :laugh:0 -
I had this question not too long ago...........he is 12 years younger.......well, actually 13 now..........and we didn't end up dating for other reasons, but I came to th conclusions that age is just a number and it is more about "stage of life"...I got along great with him because we are in similar life places....both back at school, both single, and both without children currently.
So, if you are happy wtith him........forget his age or yours, for that matter, and have fun!0 -
LoL.:laugh: Roll up, roll up!! Florian is flaunting his French fancie for freeeeeee !!! :laugh:
Wait... this is actually pretty accurate!!! :laugh:0
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