If someone from a dating site is interested in you but...
Gionni
Posts: 77 Member
They are not your type .. what do you do ? Do you not respond ? I don't get very many responses to my emails so I figure that most women on there are cowards LOL. BUT i have done the same .. if a girl emails me and I don't find her attractive I don't reply. U?
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Not responding seems to be the norm. I know I just don't have time to reply to all of the 3 girls that email me every month.0
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I know not responding is the norm but I think it is SOOOOO RUDE!!!! Just put it out there. That's better than not replying IMO. :flowerforyou:0
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I normally try to send an e-mail that is nice but still let's them know i'm not interested.
"Thanks for your interest, I appreciate the message. I don't think we have a lot of things in common, or we are just in different places in our lives (like I want kids and they say they do not want kids), or I'm not really sure I'm what you're looking for (they want a churchgoer, or a country boy, or something with a big monster truck). Good luck in your search!"0 -
Eh, I feel like it is more rude to tell someone that I'm not interested even though all they said was "hi". Or should I engage them in conversation only to lead them on and let them down later?I know not responding is the norm but I think it is SOOOOO RUDE!!!! Just put it out there. That's better than not replying IMO. :flowerforyou:0 -
I feel like if the girl has courage enough to send me a message, then I'll at least to the honorable thing and thank her for looking at my profile. Of course I've only had 2 messages ever and one of those I'm pretty sure was a fake account that I didn't respond to.0
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Eh, I feel like it is more rude to tell someone that I'm not interested even though all they said was "hi". Or should I engage them in conversation only to lead them on and let them down later?I know not responding is the norm but I think it is SOOOOO RUDE!!!! Just put it out there. That's better than not replying IMO. :flowerforyou:
I agree completely. I would much rather have no response then essentially, ummmm you aren't my type and there is no point in continuing conversations.0 -
If they just say "hi" or something similar, it is ok to ignore them. If, on the rare occasion, they write a few sentences and it seems like they read my profile I will at least respond with a thanks but no thanks type email.0
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Eh, I feel like it is more rude to tell someone that I'm not interested even though all they said was "hi". Or should I engage them in conversation only to lead them on and let them down later?I know not responding is the norm but I think it is SOOOOO RUDE!!!! Just put it out there. That's better than not replying IMO. :flowerforyou:
How about something like, "Hi back, how are you doing? I'm sorry to cut this short but I have to run", any girl with half a brain should take the hint. If not, (I don't believe in lying) but you could always say, "hi, oh they just got here to spray for bed bugs and the roach infestation I've got going on, got to run!" I guarantee she won't bother you again.
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I don't know .. after reading this .. I think that NO reply is the best! I would feel like crap if a girl said to me "Um...Your not my type!" At least if they don't respond you can lie to yourself about the reasons she didn't reply to your "amazing" email...maybe she's busy or died in a car accident etc.0
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They are not your type .. what do you do ? Do you not respond ? I don't get very many responses to my emails so I figure that most women on there are cowards LOL. BUT i have done the same .. if a girl emails me and I don't find her attractive I don't reply. U?
The only girls that message on there are the ones that have to, because they are not getting any messages. Anyway, responding is just leading them on.0 -
Well I've never tried those, I don't like to lie. Plus if you give some people any attention at all they won't leave you alone.
Eh, I feel like it is more rude to tell someone that I'm not interested even though all they said was "hi". Or should I engage them in conversation only to lead them on and let them down later?I know not responding is the norm but I think it is SOOOOO RUDE!!!! Just put it out there. That's better than not replying IMO. :flowerforyou:
How about something like, "Hi back, how are you doing? I'm sorry to cut this short but I have to run", any girl with half a brain should take the hint. If not, (I don't believe in lying) but you could always say, "hi, oh they just got here to spray for bed bugs and the roach infestation I've got going on, got to run!" I guarantee she won't bother you again.0 -
I say just don't reply.0
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They are not your type .. what do you do ? Do you not respond ? I don't get very many responses to my emails so I figure that most women on there are cowards LOL. BUT i have done the same .. if a girl emails me and I don't find her attractive I don't reply. U?
The only girls that message on there are the ones that have to, because they are not getting any messages. Anyway, responding is just leading them on.
Hey now! I have messaged guys on there and it isn't because I'm not receiving anything. Sometimes I like to be assertive. lol0 -
I guess I'm on my own but I prefer people to be straight-forward. If I have the nerve to contact someone, they should have the nerve to say "not interested".
Maybe this is another reason why I'm single???
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To me it depends on how much they right. If it is just a "how are U?" or "Hi" I usually don't respond unless their profile interests me but if it is longer and they actually looked like they put effort into it not a copy and past job I will try and respond with something. I have actually hiden my profile right now because I am horrible about responding to even the ones I want to respond to much less the ones I don't.0
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If they just say "hi" or something similar, it is ok to ignore them. If, on the rare occasion, they write a few sentences and it seems like they read my profile I will at least respond with a thanks but no thanks type email.
I look at it this way: I took the time to write a pretty lengthy profile, post photos, interests, etc., the least you can do is write me something about yourself, why you wrote me and carry on some kind of conversation. People that write "Hi" "Pretty pics" etc, do not get a response back. Evidently you didn't read my profile and looked at the photos, so unless there's no substance there, I probably won't get along with that person or get bored very easily.0 -
I replied to one guy, saying I wasn't interested but good luck in his search (or something along those lines), he replied with "You know that before even talking to me? You are shallow and must had Daddy Issues" :huh: :laugh:
I don't reply anymore.0 -
The ones that I ignore are the "Hi, how are u?" emails or something similar. If they took the time to write a longer email, I will respond out of respect. I usually will let them know I appreciate it but I don't believe that we'd be a good match. The times I have done this I have not received any negative feedback.
As far as contacting people, I usually will pick out something in the profile that I know we have in common and talk about that so it's more than a "hi how are u?" I don't get discouraged if I don't get a reply, I pretty much chalk it up to them not being interested.0 -
I generally didn't respond at all if I wasn't interested. I thought about sending not interested messages, but I figured the no reply would give a pretty clear message. On the other hand one guy I messaged did send me a reply back saying I wasn't really his type and other things, I don't remember exactly. I thought it was nice for him to tell me that, honestly. I could move on instead of wondering if he was going to reply. Then again I prefer honesty and I can see how some people might have been slightly hurt to be rejected... but nothing really ever bothers/hurts me, so I appreciated it more than anything.0
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To me it depends on how much they right. If it is just a "how are U?" or "Hi" I usually don't respond unless their profile interests me but if it is longer and they actually looked like they put effort into it not a copy and past job I will try and respond with something. I have actually hiden my profile right now because I am horrible about responding to even the ones I want to respond to much less the ones I don't.
How much time is a guy suppose to put in a message when there is only a 1 in 15 chance he is going to get a response. I tried a few really creative messages and got no response... I felt like a jack a** after. I think if the person likes what they see they would reply to anything.0 -
Not interested or I don't respond. I've responded before and even though I say sorry... they seem to think I really AM interested because I took the time to write back.0
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"Hi back, how are you doing? I'm sorry to cut this short but I have to run", any girl with half a brain should take the hint.
Now I'm singing the scarecrow song... "If I only had a brain."
If I'm truly not interested, not one bit, I don't respond unless they contact me again. I thought that was the "etiquette" Then I say something like, "thanks, not interested." Even then, they usually try one more time ("If you change your mind...") so after that I ignore them.
But I've written a response like the above when I only had a few minutes to get online... never knew it might be perceived as telling the guy I wasn't interested.0 -
I ignored..
UNLESS
He wrote me a long message and he had obviously read my profile. I felt grateful he at least took the time so I would send a simple "thanks for reading my profile".
If he wrote again I'd ignore.0 -
for the most part i dont reply, especially if it's a comes off as a canned email where someone just cuts and pastes the same thing
i hate that some people have a sense of entitlement about getting a response to everything they send as if other people are there just to stroke their egos or make them not feel rejected.
if he's actually read my profile and comments on something about it then i'll respond with thanks for looking at my profile, but wouldnt really offer anything more to further the conversation.
oh and i dont think anything more on the guys i message who never message me back. honestly when i was online dating i'd spend a few hours looking at profiles and sending messages. so if i sent 10 messages and heard back from 5 i wouldnt even remember the other 5 who never got back to me.0 -
Well I've never tried those, I don't like to lie. Plus if you give some people any attention at all they won't leave you alone.
exactly. taking tine to say "sorry im not interested " or we're not compatible just opens the floor up to further emails where they ask why or explain why you're suited. then if you dont respond to that or stick to your guns you get the "well you're ugly anyway i see why you're still single" :laugh:
Eh, I feel like it is more rude to tell someone that I'm not interested even though all they said was "hi". Or should I engage them in conversation only to lead them on and let them down later?I know not responding is the norm but I think it is SOOOOO RUDE!!!! Just put it out there. That's better than not replying IMO. :flowerforyou:
IME the people who NEED to have "closure" on something like a quick email to a stranger are the crazies who end up living in your bushes or trying to fit into your doggie door.
How about something like, "Hi back, how are you doing? I'm sorry to cut this short but I have to run", any girl with half a brain should take the hint. If not, (I don't believe in lying) but you could always say, "hi, oh they just got here to spray for bed bugs and the roach infestation I've got going on, got to run!" I guarantee she won't bother you again.0 -
I think the respectful thing to do is to say I really appreciate the message but I would like to be honest and rather than be rude and not reply, you just don't seem like my type.
The fact you are hiding behind a screen does NOT give you an out of being rude. If someone approached you in person and said hi how are you, would you stare at them a moment and turn and walk away without saying anything?0 -
Well the slight difference (I would say) is that in person you are not potentially approachable by 1 000 000 persons and that it doesn't take a simple copy and paste to actually start a conversation.I think the respectful thing to do is to say I really appreciate the message but I would like to be honest and rather than be rude and not reply, you just don't seem like my type.
The fact you are hiding behind a screen does NOT give you an out of being rude. If someone approached you in person and said hi how are you, would you stare at them a moment and turn and walk away without saying anything?
Then again, I've kind of given up on online dating at the moment.
Just connect to see what's on there...0 -
To me it depends on how much they write. If it is just a "how are U?" or "Hi" I usually don't respond unless their profile interests me but if it is longer and they actually looked like they put effort into it not a copy and past job I will try and respond with something. I have actually hiden my profile right now because I am horrible about responding to even the ones I want to respond to much less the ones I don't.
How much time is a guy suppose to put in a message when there is only a 1 in 15 chance he is going to get a response. I tried a few really creative messages and got no response... I felt like a jack a** after. I think if the person likes what they see they would reply to anything.
2-4 sentences is nice just to show you actually read their profile but don't ask 900 questions in the first message.0 -
I think the respectful thing to do is to say I really appreciate the message but I would like to be honest and rather than be rude and not reply, you just don't seem like my type.
The fact you are hiding behind a screen does NOT give you an out of being rude. If someone approached you in person and said hi how are you, would you stare at them a moment and turn and walk away without saying anything?
probably not, but i also dont walk around offline wearing a sandwich board with my interests, profile and stats written on it.
offline and online are different animals.
i agree that the shorter messages are best. just a quick question based on something said in a profile is cool, especially if it's asked in a way that doesnt come off as being interviewed. for instance i'm a dr. who fan and one guy i was talking to online sent a message that was like "hey saw your profile and thought it was cool. so who's your favorite dr.?"0 -
Unless its complete creeper email I think everyone should have the balls/ovaries to reply with an email stating your not interested. Wouldnt you want the same?0
