If someone from a dating site is interested in you but...
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Not interested or I don't respond. I've responded before and even though I say sorry... they seem to think I really AM interested because I took the time to write back.0
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"Hi back, how are you doing? I'm sorry to cut this short but I have to run", any girl with half a brain should take the hint.
Now I'm singing the scarecrow song... "If I only had a brain."
If I'm truly not interested, not one bit, I don't respond unless they contact me again. I thought that was the "etiquette" Then I say something like, "thanks, not interested." Even then, they usually try one more time ("If you change your mind...") so after that I ignore them.
But I've written a response like the above when I only had a few minutes to get online... never knew it might be perceived as telling the guy I wasn't interested.0 -
I ignored..
UNLESS
He wrote me a long message and he had obviously read my profile. I felt grateful he at least took the time so I would send a simple "thanks for reading my profile".
If he wrote again I'd ignore.0 -
for the most part i dont reply, especially if it's a comes off as a canned email where someone just cuts and pastes the same thing
i hate that some people have a sense of entitlement about getting a response to everything they send as if other people are there just to stroke their egos or make them not feel rejected.
if he's actually read my profile and comments on something about it then i'll respond with thanks for looking at my profile, but wouldnt really offer anything more to further the conversation.
oh and i dont think anything more on the guys i message who never message me back. honestly when i was online dating i'd spend a few hours looking at profiles and sending messages. so if i sent 10 messages and heard back from 5 i wouldnt even remember the other 5 who never got back to me.0 -
Well I've never tried those, I don't like to lie. Plus if you give some people any attention at all they won't leave you alone.
exactly. taking tine to say "sorry im not interested " or we're not compatible just opens the floor up to further emails where they ask why or explain why you're suited. then if you dont respond to that or stick to your guns you get the "well you're ugly anyway i see why you're still single" :laugh:
Eh, I feel like it is more rude to tell someone that I'm not interested even though all they said was "hi". Or should I engage them in conversation only to lead them on and let them down later?I know not responding is the norm but I think it is SOOOOO RUDE!!!! Just put it out there. That's better than not replying IMO. :flowerforyou:
IME the people who NEED to have "closure" on something like a quick email to a stranger are the crazies who end up living in your bushes or trying to fit into your doggie door.
How about something like, "Hi back, how are you doing? I'm sorry to cut this short but I have to run", any girl with half a brain should take the hint. If not, (I don't believe in lying) but you could always say, "hi, oh they just got here to spray for bed bugs and the roach infestation I've got going on, got to run!" I guarantee she won't bother you again.
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I think the respectful thing to do is to say I really appreciate the message but I would like to be honest and rather than be rude and not reply, you just don't seem like my type.
The fact you are hiding behind a screen does NOT give you an out of being rude. If someone approached you in person and said hi how are you, would you stare at them a moment and turn and walk away without saying anything?0 -
Well the slight difference (I would say) is that in person you are not potentially approachable by 1 000 000 persons and that it doesn't take a simple copy and paste to actually start a conversation.I think the respectful thing to do is to say I really appreciate the message but I would like to be honest and rather than be rude and not reply, you just don't seem like my type.
The fact you are hiding behind a screen does NOT give you an out of being rude. If someone approached you in person and said hi how are you, would you stare at them a moment and turn and walk away without saying anything?
Then again, I've kind of given up on online dating at the moment.
Just connect to see what's on there...0 -
To me it depends on how much they write. If it is just a "how are U?" or "Hi" I usually don't respond unless their profile interests me but if it is longer and they actually looked like they put effort into it not a copy and past job I will try and respond with something. I have actually hiden my profile right now because I am horrible about responding to even the ones I want to respond to much less the ones I don't.
How much time is a guy suppose to put in a message when there is only a 1 in 15 chance he is going to get a response. I tried a few really creative messages and got no response... I felt like a jack a** after. I think if the person likes what they see they would reply to anything.
2-4 sentences is nice just to show you actually read their profile but don't ask 900 questions in the first message.0 -
I think the respectful thing to do is to say I really appreciate the message but I would like to be honest and rather than be rude and not reply, you just don't seem like my type.
The fact you are hiding behind a screen does NOT give you an out of being rude. If someone approached you in person and said hi how are you, would you stare at them a moment and turn and walk away without saying anything?
probably not, but i also dont walk around offline wearing a sandwich board with my interests, profile and stats written on it.
offline and online are different animals.
i agree that the shorter messages are best. just a quick question based on something said in a profile is cool, especially if it's asked in a way that doesnt come off as being interviewed. for instance i'm a dr. who fan and one guy i was talking to online sent a message that was like "hey saw your profile and thought it was cool. so who's your favorite dr.?"0 -
Unless its complete creeper email I think everyone should have the balls/ovaries to reply with an email stating your not interested. Wouldnt you want the same?0
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Unless its complete creeper email I think everyone should have the balls/ovaries to reply with an email stating your not interested. Wouldnt you want the same?
No!! Silence is golden :flowerforyou: I dont want to hear from some stranger/creep/freak/sycophant/narcissist/etc that he doesnt find me attractive. Just dont reply. What's the biggie?? You dont owe everyone on this planet a polite response or vice versa!
Sometimes, the situation might warrant it (if he made an effort and looks kinda normal) but in general internet dating has become a harsh world. Getting all emotional over replying or getting a reply is kinda pointless :flowerforyou:0 -
I know it may seem rude, but I think a non-response is the most appropriate. Why bother TELLING someone you're not interested in them? If you don't reply, then I'm pretty sure they can assume that you're not? Right? Why put salt in the wound? I know very well if someone doesn't reply to me, then I don't email them again, and I figure they are not interested, and that's perfectly fine with me. It's ok, that's why there is vanilla and chocolate 0
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To add to that - I get about 27- 30 emails a week on the site that I'm on, and I would say I'm interested in maybe 1 of them, or 2 tops in a good week LOL so answering every email could easily become a part time job if I had to reply to everyone I'm not interested in. It's life, people have different preferences. I'm not offended by that.0
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I replied to one guy, saying I wasn't interested but good luck in his search (or something along those lines), he replied with "You know that before even talking to me? You are shallow and must had Daddy Issues" :huh: :laugh:
I don't reply anymore.
OHHHHHHHHHH I've gotten that one too!! I read your profile, we have ZERO in common (they like clubbing and doing drugs and this and that) -- so, why did you write me again?? No thanks.0 -
It depends. IMO, if I were to message a guy and he doesn't respond back, it is obvious that he isn't interested. And that is okay if he isn't..I wouldn't stress over it and I would not think that was rude at all. It is up to you if you want to respond or not.
ETA: I am not on any dating sites, but if I were I wouldn't not worry if someone didn't respond back.
Lol I am still iffy to sign up for a dating site... oh wait I signed up for MFP ... nevermind :laugh:0 -
omgsh thats why they don't respond!! Harsh...way harsh. I'm such a catch too.0
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Honestly if I message a guy and he is not interested, I would rather they DO NOT reply. I don't want to read a message of somebody telling me they are not interested! I just don't wanna know.
Also, I do get a lot of messages from men I am not into, and I just don't respond either. I'm pretty sure they get the hint. never thought of it as rude really.0 -
Im in the ignore it camp.
I get a ridiculous amount of emails per week. I would rather put my efforts into finding someone I like rather than explaining that I am not interested to the ones that I dont like.
I have written to guys before that never responded. Oh well. I don't have to be everyones type and I don't really need to know why.
The few I have responded to either took that to mean 'keep trying' or said something rude in return.
My favorites are the Christians that say they are seeking a 'God fearing woman'. I am clear that I am an athiest and have responded that I don't think we are a match because of that. Then suddenly they are trying to convert me. ugh0 -
Wow... I didn't realise this was the spineless group :laugh:
I should clarify though it's different if they if they say something weird or you get heaps of responses. My dating site works different obviously as it gives you a reply rate :noway:0 -
Eh, I feel like it is more rude to tell someone that I'm not interested even though all they said was "hi". Or should I engage them in conversation only to lead them on and let them down later?I know not responding is the norm but I think it is SOOOOO RUDE!!!! Just put it out there. That's better than not replying IMO. :flowerforyou:
Honesty is the best policy as mother always told me :laugh:0
