CAN LAUGHTER HELP ME BURN CALORIES?

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savedchild8
savedchild8 Posts: 148 Member
According to one of the Webster dictionaries laughter is defined as follows....Laughter: (n.) A movement (usually involuntary) of the muscles of the face, particularly of the lips, with a peculiar expression of the eyes, indicating merriment, satisfaction, or derision, and usually attended by a sonorous and interrupted expulsion of air from the lungs.

I don't know about you, but I just love a good, jolly laugh. I laugh sometimes till my belly aches. My husband thinks he has his own comedy show, and I'm the preview audience. What a clown!

Have you ever heard that laughter works as a type of medecine to our bodies? A biblical proverbs actually reads, "A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones." Proverbs 17:22

A study conducted at Vanderbilt University found that 10 to 15 minutes of sustained giggling burned 50 calories (Read more: http://www.livestrong.com/article/293257-how-many-calories-are-burned-laughing/#ixzz1sE2v46YK)

SOOOO...LET'S LAUGH IT UP! Some may find these a little boring. some a little light, but I hope we can at least get a big :smile:
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A SENSE OF HUMOR IS PRECIOUS: Have any to share? :laugh: Please.....Let's keep it clean.....:wink:


1) A four year old little boy sat at the dinner table eating very quickly, and quite sloppy.

His father kept looking across the table at him in embarrassment because they had guests.

Finally the father asked, "Jeremy! Do you know what they call a little boy who eats like a pig?"

Jeremy stopped eating, and politely answered his father.....

"Yes daddy......A SON OF A HOG!"


2) After she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it means?" "I promise you'll know tonight." he said.
That evening, the man came home with a beautifully wrapped small package and gave it to his wife. She was so excited until she opened, and found a book entitled................ "The Meaning of Dreams" :smile:

3) Newton's First Law of Motion: A body in motion will remain in motion. A body at rest will stay under a down comforter until forced to move.

4) A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer. A little boy, playing in front of his house, saw him and called, "What've you got in your truck?"

"Fertilizer," the farmer replied.

"What are you going to do with it?" asked the little boy.

"Put it on strawberries," answered the farmer.

"You ought to live here," the little boy advised him. "We put sugar and cream on ours."


5) A businessman was in a great deal of trouble. His business was failing, he had put everything he had into the business, he owed everybody it was so bad he was even contemplating suicide. As a last resort he went to a pastor and poured out his story of tears and woe.

When he had finished, the pastor said, "Here's what I want you to do, put a beach chair and your Bible in your car and drive down to the beach. Take the beach chair and the Bible to the water's edge, sit down in the beach chair, and put the Bible in your lap. Open the Bible; the wind will rifle the pages, but finally the open Bible will come to rest on a page. Look down at the page and read the first thing you see. That will be your answer, that will tell you what to do."

A year later the businessman went back to the pastor and brought his wife and children with him. The man was in a new custom- tailored suit, his wife in a mink coat, the children shining. The businessman pulled an envelope stuffed with money out of his pocket and gave it to the pastor as a donation in thanks for his advice.

The pastor recognized the benefactor, and was curious. "You did as I suggested?" he asked.

"Absolutely," replied the businessman.

"You went to the beach?"

"Absolutely."

"You sat in a beach chair with the Bible in your lap?"

"Absolutely."

"You let the pages rifle until they stopped?"

"Absolutely."

"And what were the first words you saw?"

"Chapter 11."


6) A little girl went up to her mother one day while holding her stomach saying, "Mommy, my stomach hurts." Her mother replied, "That's because it's empty, you have to put something into it!"

Later that day when the Evangelist and her husband were over for dinner. The Evangelist began to feel bad. Holding her head she said, "I have such a terrible headache!"

The little girl looked up at her giving her the sweetest smile that any little child could give. Then she said, "That's because it's empty, you have to put something into it!"


7) It was late at night and Heidi, who was expecting her second child, was home alone with her 3 year old daughter, Katelyn. Heidi started to go into labor and called 911.

Due to a power outage at the time, only one paramedic was able to respond to the call.

The house was very, very dark, so the paramedic asked Katelyn to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby.

Very diligently, Katelyn did as she was asked. Heidi pushed and pushed, and after a little while Connor was born. The paramedic lifted him by his feet, and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry.

The paramedic then thanked Katelyn for her help, and asked the wide-eyed 3 year old Katelyn what she thought about what she had just witnessed.

Katelyn quickly responded, "He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place. Spank him again." :laugh:


8) Hymns for People Over 50:

Give Me the Old Timers Religion

Precious Lord, Take My Hand, And Help Me Up

Just a Slower Walk with Thee

Go Tell It on the Mountain, But Speak Up

Nobody Knows the Trouble I Have Seeing

Guide Me O Thou Great Lord God, I've Forgotten Where I've Parked The Car

Count Your Many Birthdays, Count Them One By One

Blessed Insurance

It Is Well With My Soul, But My Knees Hurt


9) A mother went to wake her son for church one Sunday morning. When she knocked on his door, he said, "I'm not going!"

"Why not?" asked his mother.

"I'll give you two good reasons," he said. "One, they don't like me. Two, I don't like them."

His mother replied, "I'll give you two good reasons why YOU WILL go to church. One, you're 47 years old. Two, you're the pastor!"


10) If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would have put them on my knees.

11) We all get heavier as we get older because there's a lot more information in our heads. So I'm not fat, I'm just really intelligent and my head couldn't hold anymore so it started filling up the rest of me....Thanks for your contribution "Tiffani79! .:flowerforyou:

Replies

  • hollyberry2012
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    hahahahahahahahaa :laugh:
  • savedchild8
    savedchild8 Posts: 148 Member
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    Can vegetarians eat animal crackers? ...... :laugh:

    I know you have to have a few Holly!

    You are always so funny! Thanks for stopping by! :laugh:

    I'll try to keep'em coming .....
  • tiffani79
    tiffani79 Posts: 13
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    LOL! Your welcome, I hope laughing helps burn calories cause I laugh all day! We are a family of clowns - all 6 of us (aged 33 to 1) #blessed
  • OneDayAtaTime1967
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    Great jokes, Woman of God. I think you have another calling LOL. :laugh:
  • savedchild8
    savedchild8 Posts: 148 Member
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    Good morning MFP!! ... Have a great day!!! .....A little humor for your warm - up: ...

    1)_What is the best way to forget your troubles? Wear tight clothes .... LOL....

    2)_What happens when you leave an outfit hanging in your closet for a while? It shrinks two sizes.

    3)_ I read some article which said that the symptoms of stress are impulse buying, eating too much and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's what I call a perfect day.

    4)_When a clock is still hungry, it goes back four seconds...WE ARE NOT CLOCKS...LOL ...

    5)_ What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it? Nothing, it just let out a little "whine".

    6)_ A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.

    7)_ A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat. :bigsmile:

    8)_Men are like a fine cheese. They start out as milk, and it's up to women to mold them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with :smile: .

    Remember keep it MOVING!!!!!

    Lots of love.

    ENJOY YOUIR DAY!

    VICTORIOUS!! :laugh:
  • savedchild8
    savedchild8 Posts: 148 Member
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    :laugh: Are you laughing? .........
  • savedchild8
    savedchild8 Posts: 148 Member
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    JUST FOR FUN.........Yesterday I went to the doctor for my yearly physical. My blood pressure was high, my cholesterol was high, I'd gained some weight, and I didn't feel so hot. My doctor said eating right doesn't have to be complicated and it would solve my physical problems. He said just think in colors... Fill your plate with bright colors... greens, yellows, reds, etc. So I went right home and ate an entire bowl of PEANUT M&M'S : And sure enough, I felt better immediately. I never knew eating right could be so easy........LOL....LOL



    JUST FOR FUN........Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap. .......LOL....LOL



    JUST FOR FUN; A "newfie" was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a newly discovered diet. "I want you to eat regular meals for 2 days , then SKIP a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 more weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds." When the newfie returned, he shocked his doctor by having lost nearly 60 pounds. "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said. "Did you follow my instructions ?" The newfie nodded, "I'll tell ya though, by jeasuz, I thought I was going to drop dead dat 3rd day." "From hunger, you mean ?" "No, from all that hard "SKIPPING"!" .........LOL


    Just for FUN: Weight-loss advice: "LET'S KEEP IT SIMPLE...JUST EAT THE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE."


    JUST FOR FUN: MY BODY IS A TEMPLE, WITH AMPLE PARKING IN THE REAR. ...... LOL

    :laugh:
  • savedchild8
    savedchild8 Posts: 148 Member
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    JUST FOR FUN........Q: Is swimming good for your figure? A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.....LOL...LOL