FWB now wants Relationship
mnwalkingqueen
Posts: 1,299 Member
Hi Single Peeps,
I have had the same FWB for about 2.5yrs he nor I wanted a relationship that's why it worked so well. Now, that I have become serious with someone else he has stated that he wants a relationship with me. I am not sure if it's because I cut him off or if he really liked me either way doesn't matter I never saw him as relationship material.
Just wondering if this has happened to others with longer term FWB's.
I have had the same FWB for about 2.5yrs he nor I wanted a relationship that's why it worked so well. Now, that I have become serious with someone else he has stated that he wants a relationship with me. I am not sure if it's because I cut him off or if he really liked me either way doesn't matter I never saw him as relationship material.
Just wondering if this has happened to others with longer term FWB's.
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That is how every FWB I have had has ended. One of us (them not me) at some point wants a relationship. It is sad but hey all good things must come to an end. At that point we go our separate ways and it's time to find a new buddy!0
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I have never had a friend with benefits before .. but I would imagine it would be hard to seperate feelings from "just sex" after a while. Especially since there has to be SOME sort of chemistry there otherwise the sex wouldn't be good .. right?0
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I've never had a fwb but i can see how this could happen- easily.
Since I have to like you and have an emotional connectiont to sleep with you, I'd probably fall for a fwb.
So you're definately not interested in him?
I would say... maybe he was always interested but didn't realize until he saw you with someone else. Who knows... but obviously if you had been interested, you wouldn't have started dating someone else, right?0 -
I've never had a fwb but i can see how this could happen- easily.
What was FL if not a FWB? Lots of people have emotional connections to their FWB's. It just isn't a total relationship just one built and maintained Mostly for twirling.0 -
Just wondering if this has happened to others with longer term FWB's.
Can't speak from experience, but from what I've heard it's usually the other way around (the female in a FWB falls for the guy who usually doesn't see her as relationship potential, just a FWB).0 -
I have 2 year limit on all fwbs. after that, you get comfortable together and that can be confused for love. Some only get one. But I prefer long term, I cant hop around. I cant sleep around. I need 1.0
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I have 2 year limit on all fwbs. after that, you get comfortable together and that can be confused for love. Some only get one. But I prefer long term, I cant hop around. I cant sleep around. I need 1.
On this note ladies ...and men. Do the majority of you maintain one FWB or do you have a few in your stable in case one is busy when you call etc? And on that note are your FWB strictly booty calls or do you also hang out outside of wherever you do the deed?0 -
I've never had a fwb but i can see how this could happen- easily.
What was FL if not a FWB? Lots of people have emotional connections to their FWB's. It just isn't a total relationship just one built and maintained Mostly for twirling.
we weren't sleeping together!!
we slept together once while we were "dating" (not exclusively or anything but we were going on official dates.. then he friend zoned me)
sex never happened again.0 -
I have 2 year limit on all fwbs. after that, you get comfortable together and that can be confused for love. Some only get one. But I prefer long term, I cant hop around. I cant sleep around. I need 1.
2 years? Damn. I need one of those.0 -
I think it can easily happen. Unless there is a very clear cut reason why you're not in a relationship, like a rediculous age gap, then circumstances can change, emotions can get involved and people can fall in love
Or not, as the case may be.....
As I said to a friend last week, sex forms bonds somehow. I dont know why or what, but there's a certain je ne sais quoi with someone I've been that intimate with. Regardless if he's a FB, FWB or B/F.
I dunno, there is no clear cut answer. Everyone is different. He could very well just miss you so is clinging to the R word so you go back to him, or he may have fallen for you. Feelings are inexplicable sometimes :flowerforyou:0 -
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we weren't sleeping together!!
we slept together once while we were "dating" (not exclusively or anything but we were going on official dates.. then he friend zoned me)
sex never happened again.
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Friend zoned me! Hahhahhhaaaha. No nookie for him! Poor dumb *kitten*0 -
we weren't sleeping together!!
we slept together once while we were "dating" (not exclusively or anything but we were going on official dates.. then he friend zoned me)
sex never happened again.Friend zoned me! Hahhahhhaaaha. No nookie for him! Poor dumb *kitten*
I know right?? I would have been a hot mess but he probably could have had his way with me on many occassions.0 -
Yes. She told me years later that she picked wrong, and that she moved on because I didn't pursue her, even though she was the one that told me that she was going back to her ex.
A more recent one went back to her ex, and is now dating again because he didn't change... duh!
And yet another told me that she did not want to continue being an FWB after I broke up with my GF because blah blah blah, then called on me a few times.0 -
I have 2 year limit on all fwbs. after that, you get comfortable together and that can be confused for love. Some only get one. But I prefer long term, I cant hop around. I cant sleep around. I need 1.
On this note ladies ...and men. Do the majority of you maintain one FWB or do you have a few in your stable in case one is busy when you call etc? And on that note are your FWB strictly booty calls or do you also hang out outside of wherever you do the deed?
yeah, just one. And I can't 'just' do the sex and go! yuk! Has to be the whole being together - go for drinks, cook dinner, sleep, cuddle, chat, laugh............etc. - for the time that you're together. Otherwise, he's not a 'friend' with benefits, he's just a *kitten* buddy! I think there are two definitions......
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hmmm...sounds like he thinks it's more than just a FWB situation. Like a bit of jealousy has sunk in.
I've had the same FWB for the past, oh so long i can't remember how long. 7 years at least. It's not a continous thing as I don't have sex with him while I'm dating other people. But he's more a friend than a benefit. I made it quite clear years ago there would never be an "us". So he hasn't pushed it...he either agrees or just doesn't say anything.
And recently I've pushed him into the "friend only" zone. Time to find a new one.
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I have 2 year limit on all fwbs. after that, you get comfortable together and that can be confused for love. Some only get one. But I prefer long term, I cant hop around. I cant sleep around. I need 1.
On this note ladies ...and men. Do the majority of you maintain one FWB or do you have a few in your stable in case one is busy when you call etc? And on that note are your FWB strictly booty calls or do you also hang out outside of wherever you do the deed?
Two. Both of whom recently got the boot. :-(
I keep one for two or three months and then switch. Break time. No gettin used to me.
No hanging out with my friends. First time you try to overstay your welcome cause my friends show up is the last time we sleep together.
No coming to my house.
I'm gone before you wake up.
I dont want breakfast.
Dont touch my hands or face.
Dont look me in the eyes as though you think Im beautiful.
Do NOT tell me Im beautiful.
Do not snuggle me.
Do not ask me to order you food or cook for you.
We can get drunk though.
This situation is to fulfill a need, with someone as sexually squeaky clean as I am, and we know we can get each other off. To scratch an itch, not look for love. This has been my MO since 2005.0 -
I've had a FWB for 6 years now, there have been others during that time - he lives a bit too far away for it to be totally convenient, is simple & uncomplicated though, unlike most of the others I've had during that time...
What's a FL?0 -
I enjoyed reading your responses. I will answer some of the questions that were asked.
Yes, it was very clear for the first time we met what we were looking for and what this was gonna be. He would even make comments like "I don't care that you sleep or see other men cause this is just fun" We also discusses why we didn't want a relationship at the time.
We did hang out as buddies once in awhile but mostly it was just sex. I had chemistry with him but I didn't see him as potential boyfriend material mostly cause he parties way to much for my life style.
He even knew I was looking for a long term partner and going on dates to find someone that fit my life style.0 -
I have 2 year limit on all fwbs. after that, you get comfortable together and that can be confused for love. Some only get one. But I prefer long term, I cant hop around. I cant sleep around. I need 1.
On this note ladies ...and men. Do the majority of you maintain one FWB or do you have a few in your stable in case one is busy when you call etc? And on that note are your FWB strictly booty calls or do you also hang out outside of wherever you do the deed?
Two. Both of whom recently got the boot. :-(
I keep one for two or three months and then switch. Break time. No gettin used to me.
No hanging out with my friends. First time you try to overstay your welcome cause my friends show up is the last time we sleep together.
No coming to my house.
I'm gone before you wake up.
I dont want breakfast.
Dont touch my hands or face.
Dont look me in the eyes as though you think Im beautiful.
Do NOT tell me Im beautiful.
Do not snuggle me.
Do not ask me to order you food or cook for you.
We can get drunk though.
This situation is to fulfill a need, with someone as sexually squeaky clean as I am, and we know we can get each other off. To scratch an itch, not look for love. This has been my MO since 2005.
Wow! whoever said romance was dead!! :laugh:0 -
I have 2 year limit on all fwbs. after that, you get comfortable together and that can be confused for love. Some only get one. But I prefer long term, I cant hop around. I cant sleep around. I need 1.
On this note ladies ...and men. Do the majority of you maintain one FWB or do you have a few in your stable in case one is busy when you call etc? And on that note are your FWB strictly booty calls or do you also hang out outside of wherever you do the deed?
Two. Both of whom recently got the boot. :-(
I keep one for two or three months and then switch. Break time. No gettin used to me.
No hanging out with my friends. First time you try to overstay your welcome cause my friends show up is the last time we sleep together.
No coming to my house.
I'm gone before you wake up.
I dont want breakfast.
Dont touch my hands or face.
Dont look me in the eyes as though you think Im beautiful.
Do NOT tell me Im beautiful.
Do not snuggle me.
Do not ask me to order you food or cook for you.
We can get drunk though.
This situation is to fulfill a need, with someone as sexually squeaky clean as I am, and we know we can get each other off. To scratch an itch, not look for love. This has been my MO since 2005.
Wow! whoever said romance was dead!! :laugh:
I cant for the life of me figure out what FWBs have to do with romance.0 -
I have 2 year limit on all fwbs. after that, you get comfortable together and that can be confused for love. Some only get one. But I prefer long term, I cant hop around. I cant sleep around. I need 1.
On this note ladies ...and men. Do the majority of you maintain one FWB or do you have a few in your stable in case one is busy when you call etc? And on that note are your FWB strictly booty calls or do you also hang out outside of wherever you do the deed?
Two. Both of whom recently got the boot. :-(
I keep one for two or three months and then switch. Break time. No gettin used to me.
No hanging out with my friends. First time you try to overstay your welcome cause my friends show up is the last time we sleep together.
No coming to my house.
I'm gone before you wake up.
I dont want breakfast.
Dont touch my hands or face.
Dont look me in the eyes as though you think Im beautiful.
Do NOT tell me Im beautiful.
Do not snuggle me.
Do not ask me to order you food or cook for you.
We can get drunk though.
This situation is to fulfill a need, with someone as sexually squeaky clean as I am, and we know we can get each other off. To scratch an itch, not look for love. This has been my MO since 2005.
Wow! whoever said romance was dead!! :laugh:
I cant for the life of me figure out what FWBs have to do with romance.
I agree and love the technique.
The only thing I didnt allow my FWB do was kiss me...
Im not with you, I dont kiss you. Lol.
We can be friends, we can hang out, we can party together...
Dont treat me like we are together, dont even treat me like we have sex together, we are friends!
Dont get jelous if you see me talking to somebody else, dont ask 1000 questions, your not my boyfriend.
Me and my ex WAS FWB for 3 years. I finally kicked him to the curb for about 3 mos and then thats when we both realized it could be more then that. We dated off and on for 4 years after that BUT i can say it never felt like it was much diff then what we already head when he was only having sex.0 -
^^^^^^^^^^^^^ this0
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Even with his stick??? :noway:Dont touch my hands or face.
Sorry, how do you call them - "Stranger With Benefits"? Because I know I don't treat my Friends that bad... :laugh:No hanging out with my friends. First time you try to overstay your welcome cause my friends show up is the last time we sleep together.
No coming to my house.
I'm gone before you wake up.
I dont want breakfast.
Dont look me in the eyes as though you think Im beautiful.
Do NOT tell me Im beautiful.
Do not snuggle me.
Do not ask me to order you food or cook for you.
We can get drunk though.
This situation is to fulfill a need, with someone as sexually squeaky clean as I am, and we know we can get each other off. To scratch an itch, not look for love. This has been my MO since 2005.
(Yeah I'm honestly shocked by that list...)0 -
Even with his stick??? :noway:Dont touch my hands or face.
Sorry, how do you call them - "Stranger With Benefits"? Because I know I don't treat my Friends that bad... :laugh:No hanging out with my friends. First time you try to overstay your welcome cause my friends show up is the last time we sleep together.
No coming to my house.
I'm gone before you wake up.
I dont want breakfast.
Dont look me in the eyes as though you think Im beautiful.
Do NOT tell me Im beautiful.
Do not snuggle me.
Do not ask me to order you food or cook for you.
We can get drunk though.
This situation is to fulfill a need, with someone as sexually squeaky clean as I am, and we know we can get each other off. To scratch an itch, not look for love. This has been my MO since 2005.
(Yeah I'm honestly shocked by that list...)
We get drunk and stay up all night laughing and talking and goofing off. We watch the Yankees game or some stupid show on tv and enjoy conversation and being smart-*kitten*. When I say dont touch my hands or face I mean, dont hold my hand or put your hand on my cheek and gaze at me. refusing to snuggle someone or cook for them or invite them out with you and your friends doesnt make them a stranger darlin. I knew my FWBs very well, but in order to ensure that nothing came from it, I did keep them separate from the rest of my life.
FWB is about sex with someone you know and can have fun with, not absorbing someone into your life. Im sorry.
If feelings come up and they are mutual, then the circumstances have already changed and therefore... so would that list.0 -
Sounds complicated, which is exactly what I hate about most relationships. What's the difference between hanging out and watching a Yankees game and having breakfast?We get drunk and stay up all night laughing and talking and goofing off. We watch the Yankees game or some stupid show on tv and enjoy conversation and being smart-*kitten*. When I say dont touch my hands or face I mean, dont hold my hand or put your hand on my cheek and gaze at me. refusing to snuggle someone or cook for them or invite them out with you and your friends doesnt make them a stranger darlin. I knew my FWBs very well, but in order to ensure that nothing came from it, I did keep them separate from the rest of my life.
FWB is about sex with someone you know and can have fun with, not absorbing someone into your life. Im sorry.
If feelings come up and they are mutual, then the circumstances have already changed and therefore... so would that list.
I know I'm a little old fashioned, but I figure if I don't like someone enough to have breakfast with or invite over to my house I probably don't like them enough to have sex with. Maybe in college, but I just don't drink that much anymore.0 -
I have 2 year limit on all fwbs. after that, you get comfortable together and that can be confused for love. Some only get one. But I prefer long term, I cant hop around. I cant sleep around. I need 1.
On this note ladies ...and men. Do the majority of you maintain one FWB or do you have a few in your stable in case one is busy when you call etc? And on that note are your FWB strictly booty calls or do you also hang out outside of wherever you do the deed?
Two. Both of whom recently got the boot. :-(
I keep one for two or three months and then switch. Break time. No gettin used to me.
No hanging out with my friends. First time you try to overstay your welcome cause my friends show up is the last time we sleep together.
No coming to my house.
I'm gone before you wake up.
I dont want breakfast.
Dont touch my hands or face.
Dont look me in the eyes as though you think Im beautiful.
Do NOT tell me Im beautiful.
Do not snuggle me.
Do not ask me to order you food or cook for you.
We can get drunk though.
This situation is to fulfill a need, with someone as sexually squeaky clean as I am, and we know we can get each other off. To scratch an itch, not look for love. This has been my MO since 2005.
WOW.... this is a cold list.0 -
We get drunk and stay up all night laughing and talking and goofing off. We watch the Yankees game or some stupid show on tv and enjoy conversation and being smart-*kitten*. When I say dont touch my hands or face I mean, dont hold my hand or put your hand on my cheek and gaze at me. refusing to snuggle someone or cook for them or invite them out with you and your friends doesnt make them a stranger darlin. I knew my FWBs very well, but in order to ensure that nothing came from it, I did keep them separate from the rest of my life.
FWB is about sex with someone you know and can have fun with, not absorbing someone into your life. Im sorry.
If feelings come up and they are mutual, then the circumstances have already changed and therefore... so would that list.
Sounds complicated, which is exactly what I hate about most relationships. What's the difference between hanging out and watching a Yankees game and having breakfast?
I know I'm a little old fashioned, but I figure if I don't like someone enough to have breakfast with or invite over to my house I probably don't like them enough to have sex with. Maybe in college, but I just don't drink that much anymore.
I have to agree... if you want no attachment to someone the one night stand angle is better0 -
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Sounds complicated, which is exactly what I hate about most relationships. What's the difference between hanging out and watching a Yankees game and having breakfast?
I know I'm a little old fashioned, but I figure if I don't like someone enough to have breakfast with or invite over to my house I probably don't like them enough to have sex with. Maybe in college, but I just don't drink that much anymore.
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Love this^0 -
I have 2 year limit on all fwbs. after that, you get comfortable together and that can be confused for love. Some only get one. But I prefer long term, I cant hop around. I cant sleep around. I need 1.
On this note ladies ...and men. Do the majority of you maintain one FWB or do you have a few in your stable in case one is busy when you call etc? And on that note are your FWB strictly booty calls or do you also hang out outside of wherever you do the deed?
Two. Both of whom recently got the boot. :-(
I keep one for two or three months and then switch. Break time. No gettin used to me.
No hanging out with my friends. First time you try to overstay your welcome cause my friends show up is the last time we sleep together.
No coming to my house.
I'm gone before you wake up.
I dont want breakfast.
Dont touch my hands or face.
Dont look me in the eyes as though you think Im beautiful.
Do NOT tell me Im beautiful.
Do not snuggle me.
Do not ask me to order you food or cook for you.
We can get drunk though.
This situation is to fulfill a need, with someone as sexually squeaky clean as I am, and we know we can get each other off. To scratch an itch, not look for love. This has been my MO since 2005.
Wow! whoever said romance was dead!! :laugh:
I cant for the life of me figure out what FWBs have to do with romance.
I know you can't, hence your list and my list are opposite ends of the scale...... :laugh:
I know I'm a little old fashioned, but I figure if I don't like someone enough to have breakfast with or invite over to my house I probably don't like them enough to have sex with. Maybe in college, but I just don't drink that much anymore.
this^^^ I can't sleep with anyone that doesnt call me beautiful, gaze into my eyes and kiss me like they mean it :bigsmile:
The reason I've had a FWB is not because I dont like the person, or dont want him in my life, or dont feel attracted to him, or emotional about him. It's just because circumstance prevents it going further. There is a fine line between what makes someone a FWB or a B/F and that line usually lies somewhere around you both not wanting/needing a relationship - this could be because you just broke up with someone, or you are too busy at work, or you can't put up with that person's worst trait full time, or they are too young, too old............whatever.........
If those circumstances change for both of us, then perhaps it would turn into a relationship. I'm open to that.
Or if one of you gets attached and the other doesn't, you can move on.
But to completely close myself off to emotion? Nah, I can't have that kind of sex, and I dont think I need to. I'm just too damn............emotional!! :flowerforyou:0 -
Hmmm some of these response are great. I have had FWB before and currently have 2 now. The one thing I've noticed is each FwB situation is different. Take the 2 now. 1 guy is a long term friend that really is my buddy. We meet up at the bar and if neither of us has any other plans and are both in the mood we go home together. Then he leaves....... Number 2 however is completely different. We spend tons of time together talking watching movies or hanging out the bar. He is usually over atleast 2/3 times a week and he has slept over multiple times. The difference between the 2 one is truely a friends and the second one is still in that gray area where we will evenrually see whats going on. However as long as your happy with it dont stress it0
