so i kind of ran away...

christine24t

I had been on three dates with this guy friend and on the end of the third he kissed my cheek. I have what I call "blackout moments" where when something embarrassing or anxiety-provoking happens, I do things that I normally don't do. In this case, I sprinted away - I think, I don't really recall, but I must have- because he later texted me "don't worry i don't bite."

We kept talking though and he asked me to hang out again. He texted me later to say that our hangout might have to be delayed because of a big project he was working on. I told him that next weekend I was going to the bar and he came out for a while. The next day, we Facebook chatted for ten minutes and that was it. Last time I heard from him - it's been about a week and a half since he has texted me, called me or chatted me on Facebook.

If this was any other person, I would say "okay, big deal he's not into me." In fact, I didn't even think I liked him like that that much to begin with, but getting the experience was good and he is honestly a really great guy and a good friend to me. The problem is though is that we are friends - and I'm going to see him on Saturday at a group hangout at his house.

I don't know what happened - I don't know if it was the awkward kiss or something else.

But I'm really dreading seeing him. Am I suppose to say something about this to him? Or am I supposed to just act like we're friends and not mention it?

Jules0336

Have you made any contact with him since your last chat?

If not, I would casually message him and ask if he wants you to bring anything to this get-together at his place, just to open things up and maybe let him know you are okay with where things are between the two of you?

Carl01

You act just like you did when you were "dating" him and if it is important to you talk to him about what happened.
I am taking it you did not mind the kiss itself and would like to see if the whole thing can progress somewhere.

If for some reason you were put off by it then that is different and would not bring it up,just act like an acquaintance and let it go at that.

In a bigger picture thing,you maybe need to work on getting comfortable with who you are and the whole process.
As a guy have to say my reaction would have been one of confusion (I am not going to try to kiss a lady that did not indicate it was okay) as well as guilt for causing the reaction.
You don`t want that to happen if you like someone. :flowerforyou:

AnnaPixie

Hey Christine, I was wondering what happened to this guy :bigsmile:

My gut feeling is the guy is confused by your reaction. He took a brave step to attempt to kiss you on the cheek. You rejected him. I feel its now up to you to talk about it with him. But if you ran away from the kiss, then do you think you can broach the subject with him? Are you sure you want to? It really depends what you want here. Do you want to hang out? Date the guy? Form a relationship with him?

If I'm not sure, and you're probably more open on here with us, than you are with him IRL, then I'm sure he hasn't got a clue what you want!! :flowerforyou:

Nerple

Have you made any contact with him since your last chat?

If not, I would casually message him and ask if he wants you to bring anything to this get-together at his place, just to open things up and maybe let him know you are okay with where things are between the two of you?

I agree. Just talking with him about mundane stuff will help take the uneasy edge off. If you then get comfortable enough to talk about what happened go for it when you're alone with him. But don't see any reason why you have to force that conversation if you don't want to.

christine24t

I am taking it you did not mind the kiss itself and would like to see if the whole thing can progress somewhere.

I actually don't think I want anything with him anymore. I feel really bad for "leading" him on but I wanted to see what would happen and if I could develop feelings for him. I liked talking to him but I got uncomfortable when things got physical, like the kiss or when he touched my thigh when we were at the movies.

Hey Christine, I was wondering what happened to this guy :bigsmile:

My gut feeling is the guy is confused by your reaction. He took a brave step to attempt to kiss you on the cheek. You rejected him. I feel its now up to you to talk about it with him. But if you ran away from the kiss, then do you think you can broach the subject with him? Are you sure you want to? It really depends what you want here. Do you want to hang out? Date the guy? Form a relationship with him?

Aw haha thanks for wondering!!

I don't think I want anything with him. It's not that I don't like him, but I'm pretty sure I don't like him like that. I don't know if I ever did. I want to tell him how I feel so he doesn't think that it was him, but I don't know if I'm brave enough to tell him even though considering how much he put himself out there. I feel like I need to reciprocate that putting yourself out there. This is a wimpy move of me to avoid him - I know that!

And I don't even know if the kiss has anything to do with this, considering he talked to me a week after it happened, and then suddenly just stopped talking to me. If he was upset by it, why would he still talk to me a week after it happened? But it seems to be the only logical thing in my mind that makes me think that upset him.

Have you made any contact with him since your last chat?

I actually saw him briefly last night for ten minutes, when I stopped by his house with two of my friends to say hi (he and his roommates were having a bonfire). I said hi to them as a group, and responded to things he said but stuck by my friends for the time we were there.

AnnaPixie

I don't think I want anything with him. It's not that I don't like him, but I'm pretty sure I don't like him like that.

Then just friend zone him and hang out as usual.

I want to tell him how I feel so he doesn't think that it was him, but I don't know if I'm brave enough to tell him even though considering how much he put himself out there.

I think he's felt the vibe and has backed off a bit. Not sure if you need to explain. Not sure I would want further rejection. I think maybe just leave it. If he approaches you for a date or more again, then obviously you'll have to say you dont see him that way :flowerforyou:

christine24t

I think he's felt the vibe and has backed off a bit. Not sure if you need to explain. Not sure I would want further rejection. I think maybe just leave it. If he approaches you for a date or more again, then obviously you'll have to say you dont see him that way :flowerforyou:

I think I might just have to do that. I just don't want him to think I'm still into him if I'm nice to him at all so that is why I wondered if I should say anything, but maybe I will just be silent!

Katefab26

I am taking it you did not mind the kiss itself and would like to see if the whole thing can progress somewhere.

I actually don't think I want anything with him anymore. I feel really bad for "leading" him on but I wanted to see what would happen and if I could develop feelings for him. I liked talking to him but I got uncomfortable when things got physical, like the kiss or when he touched my thigh when we were at the movies.

Is it because you're uncomfortable with him or with the whole idea of physical contact? Or are you just embarrassed by the way you reacted and don't want to be put in the awkward position of having to make it up to him? When you ran away from him after he kissed you on the cheek, he pretty much felt totally rejected. The silly text was just a way to reassure himself and possibly save face with you. If you didn't respond to that text, then he felt like an idiot.

I'm just making a wild guess and thinking that you possibly are too shy to "put yourself out there" for him, which is something that you're going to have to get over (whether with him or somebody else in a similar situation). I'm only saying this because I was very similar to you at the age of 21 and pretty much clueless as to letting guys know I was interested, even if I knew they were interested in me. If a guy is making all the moves and not feeling that you're responding to that, he's going to move on. I know how unbelievably hard it is to put yourself out there like that, but it is worth even a few rejections once a great relationship starts to develop :-)

Carl01

I am taking it you did not mind the kiss itself and would like to see if the whole thing can progress somewhere.

I actually don't think I want anything with him anymore. I feel really bad for "leading" him on but I wanted to see what would happen and if I could develop feelings for him. I liked talking to him but I got uncomfortable when things got physical, like the kiss or when he touched my thigh when we were at the movies.

Is it because you're uncomfortable with him or with the whole idea of physical contact? Or are you just embarrassed by the way you reacted and don't want to be put in the awkward position of having to make it up to him? When you ran away from him after he kissed you on the cheek, he pretty much felt totally rejected. The silly text was just a way to reassure himself and possibly save face with you. If you didn't respond to that text, then he felt like an idiot.

I'm just making a wild guess and thinking that you possibly are too shy to "put yourself out there" for him, which is something that you're going to have to get over (whether with him or somebody else in a similar situation). I'm only saying this because I was very similar to you at the age of 21 and pretty much clueless as to letting guys know I was interested, even if I knew they were interested in me. If a guy is making all the moves and not feeling that you're responding to that, he's going to move on. I know how unbelievably hard it is to put yourself out there like that, but it is worth even a few rejections once a great relationship starts to develop :-)

Well said...I would have been mortified if I was the guy (sorry for the bluntness) and would be wondering what I did wrong,am I going to get a visit from the police,will mutual friends hear that I was a creep etc.

christine24t

I am taking it you did not mind the kiss itself and would like to see if the whole thing can progress somewhere.

I actually don't think I want anything with him anymore. I feel really bad for "leading" him on but I wanted to see what would happen and if I could develop feelings for him. I liked talking to him but I got uncomfortable when things got physical, like the kiss or when he touched my thigh when we were at the movies.

Is it because you're uncomfortable with him or with the whole idea of physical contact? Or are you just embarrassed by the way you reacted and don't want to be put in the awkward position of having to make it up to him? When you ran away from him after he kissed you on the cheek, he pretty much felt totally rejected. The silly text was just a way to reassure himself and possibly save face with you. If you didn't respond to that text, then he felt like an idiot.

I'm just making a wild guess and thinking that you possibly are too shy to "put yourself out there" for him, which is something that you're going to have to get over (whether with him or somebody else in a similar situation). I'm only saying this because I was very similar to you at the age of 21 and pretty much clueless as to letting guys know I was interested, even if I knew they were interested in me. If a guy is making all the moves and not feeling that you're responding to that, he's going to move on. I know how unbelievably hard it is to put yourself out there like that, but it is worth even a few rejections once a great relationship starts to develop :-)

I did respond to the text; I said something about how I'm awkward. I tried to laugh it off.

I think it's being uncomfortable with him. Although I've never been kissed, I have "danced" (and I'm guessing you know what kind of dancing I mean lol) with a few guys out at the bar since I've been 21. There was a boy in my class that I had a huge crush on, and since October, we've ended up dancing when we're out at the bar together. So it's not that I'm uncomfortable with physical contact, although I will say it is a new experience for me.

Katefab26

I did respond to the text; I said something about how I'm awkward. I tried to laugh it off.

Yes, but did you tell him you liked it? That's more what I'm trying to say...all he really wants to hear is that you like him back :flowerforyou:

will010574

How would you take it if you kissed a guy and he ran away? I think he is thinking wtf, this is not worth my time or effort. I would just act like friends because I think he picked up on the you are not interested vibe!

christine24t

I did respond to the text; I said something about how I'm awkward. I tried to laugh it off.

Yes, but did you tell him you liked it? That's more what I'm trying to say...all he really wants to hear is that you like him back :flowerforyou:

No I didn't say I liked it because I didn't. It was really, really awkward!!! If you freak out about a kiss on the cheek, how about a real kiss or beyond, you know?

But I've never done this relationship/dating thing before, and we weren't even technically dating so how do you bring that up to someone? I couldn't say "I want to break up with you" you know, especially considering we're friends. Luckily he stopped texting me. But this thing on Saturday is going to be awkward because neither of us have spoken to each other in almost two weeks and we never put an official end to things - I don't know where I stand in his mind or what his intentions are.

Well said...I would have been mortified if I was the guy (sorry for the bluntness) and would be wondering what I did wrong,am I going to get a visit from the police,will mutual friends hear that I was a creep etc.

It's funny actually! My roommates all thought it was the cutest thing ever and yelled at me for what I did afterwards. They were like "what happened?" and I said, "I don't know I think I blacked out!"

Natx83

Hey Christine, I was wondering what happened to this guy :bigsmile:

My gut feeling is the guy is confused by your reaction. He took a brave step to attempt to kiss you on the cheek. You rejected him. I feel its now up to you to talk about it with him. But if you ran away from the kiss, then do you think you can broach the subject with him? Are you sure you want to? It really depends what you want here. Do you want to hang out? Date the guy? Form a relationship with him?

If I'm not sure, and you're probably more open on here with us, than you are with him IRL, then I'm sure he hasn't got a clue what you want!! :flowerforyou:

Agree. He prob doesn't know wtf is going on lol

Carl01

I would say the only thing left is for everyone to figure out how to make it all his fault and call him a jerk. :ohwell:

AnnaPixie

No I didn't say I liked it because I didn't. It was really, really awkward!!! If you freak out about a kiss on the cheek, how about a real kiss or beyond, you know?

Seriously, this liaison is dead in the water. Go back to being how you were in the hang out situation with all your friends and stop thinking about it.

Hopefully the guy you have a crush on will jump in for a kiss and you will respond differently. To be kissed on the cheek is like an every day occurance in my life. That's how I greet my friends. I really have no idea why you're so worried about it but I understand you come from a different culture. Perhaps you should kiss your girlfriend on the cheek and get comfortable with that kind of contact? Yes, I kiss my girlfriends too.

You're going to have to start somewhere! :flowerforyou:

christine24t

No I didn't say I liked it because I didn't. It was really, really awkward!!! If you freak out about a kiss on the cheek, how about a real kiss or beyond, you know?

Seriously, this liaison is dead in the water. Go back to being how you were in the hang out situation with all your friends and stop thinking about it.

Hopefully the guy you have a crush on will jump in for a kiss and you will respond differently. To be kissed on the cheek is like an every day occurance in my life. That's how I greet my friends. I really have no idea why you're so worried about it but I understand you come from a different culture. Perhaps you should kiss your girlfriend on the cheek and get comfortable with that kind of contact? Yes, I kiss my girlfriends too.

You're going to have to start somewhere! :flowerforyou:

That is so funny how cultures are so much different! If I kissed my friends on the cheek I probably wouldn't have any friends lol. That was the first time I'd ever been kissed on the cheek, I think, besides my parents.

Natx83

No I didn't say I liked it because I didn't. It was really, really awkward!!! If you freak out about a kiss on the cheek, how about a real kiss or beyond, you know?

Seriously, this liaison is dead in the water. Go back to being how you were in the hang out situation with all your friends and stop thinking about it.

Hopefully the guy you have a crush on will jump in for a kiss and you will respond differently. To be kissed on the cheek is like an every day occurance in my life. That's how I greet my friends. I really have no idea why you're so worried about it but I understand you come from a different culture. Perhaps you should kiss your girlfriend on the cheek and get comfortable with that kind of contact? Yes, I kiss my girlfriends too.

You're going to have to start somewhere! :flowerforyou:

That is so funny how cultures are so much different! If I kissed my friends on the cheek I probably wouldn't have any friends lol. That was the first time I'd ever been kissed on the cheek, I think, besides my parents.

What? Where are you from the united republic of prudes. Lol I thought it would be pretty common place to greet someone with a kiss on the cheek as a member of the opposite sex that you are friends with? We do in my group of friends..

La_Amazona

I'm the kind that when something confusing happens, I act like it didn't happen. lol

It's probably not the best reaction but I hate having those dreadful conversations...

Oh and kissing on the cheek... we Mexicans kiss each other on the cheeks as a greeting. Both cheeks!

Roadie2000

This thread is just weird, I don't even know where to begin.

I have a few good female friends who kiss me on the cheek, not really a big deal.
A kiss on the cheek causes someone to blackout and run away? Yikes.
I wonder what you'd do if someone kissed you on your hoo-ha.
If I kiss a date on a cheek it's probably because I went in for a kiss on the lips and she turned her head the other way. Or I'm hoping she turned to meet me half way but didn't.
After three dates some sort of kiss would be expected, poor guy had to try something.
Dirty dancing with someone is not the same thing as physical affection.
You shouldn't go out on dates with guys you don't like that much to begin with.