What does he mean when he says "I'm just testing you"
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Basically Janie you need to switch to Marines! Semper Fidelis
I WOULD if I could find one who'd wait for more than a week, HA!
Yeah there is that??!!?? Okay send me your list and I will send you a whole host of Marines with contact info! Hell there are roughly 200 here that work for me, I am sure more than a few are of the wait till marriage mindset! See I am so unselfish!
Rightpath might as well send me your wants as well. I have been doing this Marine thing for 20 years and Im sure I ran across one or two that would love to be loved by you! That is a song I think!0 -
i think Marines are hot!!
I've been doing Soldiers' Angels for 2 yrs now, and I'm always hoping to adopt a Marine. the closest i've gotten was a GROUP on a ship :-) OH and a corpsman too!
my best girlfriend's husband was a Marine. he was KIA in Iraq april 30, 2009. those guys take care of each other like none other i've ever seen!!! it's really really amazing!0 -
First with the exception of myself and a couple others, all Marines are hot! Thank you for noticing
Second, if the corpsman is attached to an infantry unit, he is a Marine because he saves our lives and wont let anything from stopping him, I love my corpsman and owe them my life many times over.
Lastly, we do take care of our own! Thanks for noticing and now I will stop hijacking the thread! My apologies0 -
now I will stop hijacking the thread!
Don't you DARE stop! We enjoy thinking about hot marines ;-)0 -
I am so glad I found the girl I did. The more I read this thread the more I realize how unique she is.0
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now I will stop hijacking the thread!
Don't you DARE stop! We enjoy thinking about hot marines ;-)
You know the difference in an Army man and a Marine?
A Marine will die for his country. An Army man will kill for his country.0 -
Marines don't die!0
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oh i could talk Marines all day, so keep threadjacking please :-)
ALL Marines are hot!!! i think it's in the brotherhood, the attitude and the uniform ;-)0 -
First with the exception of myself and a couple others, all Marines are hot!
Hey wait a sec! I just noticed this part! Not so!!
Your clever ploy to get us saying, "You're hot" will not work!!!
Oh wait, I guess it just did. ;-)0 -
It was code for, damn I really wanted to stay for the booty call but you busted me! Lame come back for getting shut down!
He either meant it this way or it was supposed to be flirty, but I'd view it more as the first option.
Flirty would be "You can't blame me for trying"...That was definately not flirty!
^^This! That is NOT flirty. That means he's creepy and will continue to "push" her limits with all kinds of things because he doesn't care how she feels.
If a guy truly cares & respects a girl's boundaries then by no means he will do that. Why does he have to test his date to see how far she can go? For me personally I only allow a guy to give in if we are already official otherwise no.0 -
First with the exception of myself and a couple others, all Marines are hot!
Hey wait a sec! I just noticed this part! Not so!!
Your clever ploy to get us saying, "You're hot" will not work!!!
Oh wait, I guess it just did. ;-)
That was not my intention...but Thank You, very flattered!0 -
I am so glad I found the girl I did. The more I read this thread the more I realize how unique she is.
There is a huge amount of common ground on this thread. Women who say sex is special and brings with it emotional committment. Men who say it's special and important to them as part of building emotional committment and not just to get laid.
The problem is that the fears are different. Both are totally justified and informed by experience. Many of the women fear being used for sex. May of the men fear being taken for a ride and used to pay for dates, perform in other unspecified ways to prove their trustworthiness with sex as the incentive.
The problem with this thread is that the comments that resonate are the ones that confirm people's worst fears, rather than the ones that indicate what they have in common. Single peeps are in danger of casting each other as stereotypes and by so doing, confirming their worst fears.
But the great thing about single peeps is how much they like and are willing to learn from each other, so it will all come out in the weekend dating threads wash, as usual :laugh:0 -
There is a huge amount of common ground on this thread. Women who say sex is special and brings with it emotional committment. Men who say it's special and important to them as part of building emotional committment and not just to get laid.
The problem is that the fears are different. Both are totally justified and informed by experience. Many of the women fear being used for sex. May of the men fear being taken for a ride and used to pay for dates, perform in other unspecified ways to prove their trustworthiness with sex as the incentive.
Great summary Lorro. Man v Woman!! :noway: Although I would say that a lot more of us meet in the middle of these extreme views and just get on with it!! :laugh:0 -
The problem with this thread is that the comments that resonate are the ones that confirm people's worst fears, rather than the ones that indicate what they have in common. Single peeps are in danger of casting each other as stereotypes and by so doing, confirming their worst fears.
Very true. I was just reading over the thread and I honestly became really disappointed in some of the comments. It's not an attack against the people who wrote them by any means - what I mean is that I feel like with my values that I have, I'll end up being single forever because I won't put out right away, and if you can get sex somewhere else why would you bother dating me and have to wait for me to feel comfortable with you? It makes me less trustworthy in men, sad to say.0 -
The problem with this thread is that the comments that resonate are the ones that confirm people's worst fears, rather than the ones that indicate what they have in common. Single peeps are in danger of casting each other as stereotypes and by so doing, confirming their worst fears.
Very true. I was just reading over the thread and I honestly became really disappointed in some of the comments. It's not an attack against the people who wrote them by any means - what I mean is that I feel like with my values that I have, I'll end up being single forever because I won't put out right away, and if you can get sex somewhere else why would you bother dating me and have to wait for me to feel comfortable with you? It makes me less trustworthy in men, sad to say.
I think your first time is different Christine. It's special and it should be reserved for someONE special. I waited 6 months before I wanted to take that leap with my first b/f, and he waited too!! We were together for 5 years after that and to this day I cherish the moment and my first love
The waiting time got progressively quicker after that!! :laugh:0 -
Lol Pixie, life's too short for fighting, right? Unless it's play fighting of course
Christine no matter what your values, or how much or little experience you have, dating should be about what you can give rather than what you can get. If it feels like a battle ground, the guys not right for you. This thread is all about trust, the lack of it. It's the intentions of others that are feared. If you are confident in your right to hold your values, if you are unapologetic, open and giving, if you make your guy feel special, you will find someone who shares your values who trusts and understands you enough to wait until you feel comfortable with him. Please don't let the gender wars here make you doubt that :flowerforyou:0 -
The problem with this thread is that the comments that resonate are the ones that confirm people's worst fears, rather than the ones that indicate what they have in common. Single peeps are in danger of casting each other as stereotypes and by so doing, confirming their worst fears.
Very true. I was just reading over the thread and I honestly became really disappointed in some of the comments. It's not an attack against the people who wrote them by any means - what I mean is that I feel like with my values that I have, I'll end up being single forever because I won't put out right away, and if you can get sex somewhere else why would you bother dating me and have to wait for me to feel comfortable with you? It makes me less trustworthy in men, sad to say.
I think I am probably one of the bigger offenders that has you suspicious and pessimistic about men. I'll say that I agree with the most recent comments made by Anna and lorro. There were a few comments by women that bothered me and motivated my somewhat outrageous comment about being sick of the female attitude that sex is a treat so prove your worthiness.
After thinking about it, waiting isn't so much the problem as the way information is provided and processed. For example, you could mean "This is a big thing to me and I want to feel comfortable that I am making a good decision." but easily say something likeAgreed! If you want to sleep with me, which is a hugely intimate act, you will have to prove yourself to me, and I will prove myself to you that I am worthy of your time and affection. It goes both ways!!
In the first example, you own it. You aren't sleeping with him because you are not comfortable. In the second example it is easy to process this as you aren't sleeping with him because he hasn't sufficiently proven his worthiness.
There is no guarantee under either scenario that a guy will stick around but speaking for myself, I would be much more likely to continue seeing the girl who presented her feelings as described in the first example than in the second example. In the latter example, experience has told me that is a bad omen for things to come. It's also difficult if not impossible to respect anyone (man or woman) who you perceive as withholding something seen as valuable or important until his/her demands are met.0 -
In the first example, you own it. You aren't sleeping with him because you are not comfortable. In the second example it is easy to process this as you aren't sleeping with him because he hasn't sufficiently proven his worthiness.
Exactly. It's all in the language and in the honesty of the communication. In the first example the person is admitting to feelings of vulnerability and saying they want to get to know the other better. In the second example it appears they are questioning the person's integrity.0 -
I am also probably one of the big offenders, and I agree with dbrightwell. Delivery of the message is important. I will edit all my comments to say the waiting isn't the issue. I can and have waited, I've also never strayed when in a mutually exclusive relationship. Ive also had one night stands and or casual sex relationships. My not wanting to wait or unwillingness per se is a combination of factors including my age, life experience and outlook.
I would never advocate anyone doing something that makes them uncomfortable or they are not ready for.
I do however enjoy all the various outlooks across all the threads in this group. I don't see it as discouraging so much as eye opening....many many times over many topics we all see things differently and aren't afraid to express that or take on others opinions even if just as a consideration.
Now it's cinco de mayo, I need to go run a lot so I can turn into a **** show later this evening!0 -
In the first example, you own it. You aren't sleeping with him because you are not comfortable. In the second example it is easy to process this as you aren't sleeping with him because he hasn't sufficiently proven his worthiness.
By "prove yourself" I mean that he should show that he is a genuinely good person, so that I can grow to trust him and get to an intimate level. I want to make sure that someone I give myself to is worth it. By worth it, I don't mean that he takes me out on a lot of dates or spends money on me. It's not about that at all.
And thanks lorro and anna! I try and have faith that I will find someone awesome but sometimes it just gets discouraging, especially reading stuff that was posted on threads like these. I do like reading them because they are interesting to me and I like to see other people's viewpoints, but I don't also agree with all the viewpoints sometimes.0 -
By "prove yourself" I mean that he should show that he is a genuinely good person, so that I can grow to trust him and get to an intimate level. I want to make sure that someone I give myself to is worth it. By worth it, I don't mean that he takes me out on a lot of dates or spends money on me. It's not about that at all.
I would still suggest that you convey the message in such a way that you take ownership of your vulnerability and insecurity about sex. You make it clear that you don't expect fancy dinners and nice things but the "so I can grow to trust him" line is even more problematic. If I heard, I need to grow to trust you and for you TO SHOW you are a genuinely good person before I am comfortable GIVING MYSELF. I would have several negative feelings that would cause me to lose respect.
1) You need to show that you are good person before I am comfortable relays all the messages I said were bad. Since this is a discussion about sex that has not yet happened, you are essentially telling a guy that it is his fault you aren't having sex with him because he hasn't proven he is a good enough person.
2) The worth it part is equally troubling. You are saying what worth it does not include but you give no indication what that phrase means. I would take it to mean that you want lots and lots of attention and I have not showered you with all the attention that you want and feel you are entitled to. I generally do a lot of little things for the gals I date. Texts to say good morning or hope your day is going well, etc. Sometimes it is something very simple like coming along to the grocery store and hanging out to watch TV. This is a very little thing but it is me giving up my time in an evening after work and a workout to do something else because she wanted to see me. I am usually tired and stressed and would have enjoyed time to myself. I don't do it because I am thinking if I suck up I'll get laid. I do it because I enjoy doing it. To then say you want to feel it is worth it is to say all the little things you do are not enough to be worth it. I WANT MORE THAN YOU HAVE GIVEN!
3) Sex is generally good. Even when it's lacking relative to other sexual experiences, it is better than a lot of other things. The whole giving yourself would indicate that you are making some sort of sacrifice. Not that you are sharing a wonderful experience. That's not really a turn on.
For these reasons and infinitely more, I think it is better to just own it and say I am not comfortable rather than say I want to make sure you are worth it and that I can trust you.0 -
2) The worth it part is equally troubling. You are saying what worth it does not include but you give no indication what that phrase means. I would take it to mean that you want lots and lots of attention and I have not showered you with all the attention that you want and feel you are entitled to. I generally do a lot of little things for the gals I date. Texts to say good morning or hope your day is going well, etc. Sometimes it is something very simple like coming along to the grocery store and hanging out to watch TV. This is a very little thing but it is me giving up my time in an evening after work and a workout to do something else because she wanted to see me. I am usually tired and stressed and would have enjoyed time to myself. I don't do it because I am thinking if I suck up I'll get laid. I do it because I enjoy doing it. To then say you want to feel it is worth it is to say all the little things you do are not enough to be worth it. I WANT MORE THAN YOU HAVE GIVEN!
Worth it meaning worth being vulnerable to someone. It's not easy to do that for some people. And those are all great things to do when you're dating someone, and it wouldn't necessarily be that he has to do more.
Whether you become friends or in a relationship with someone, you don't automatically trust that they have your best interests at heart and respect you. I've made friends and later learned that I should have given it time before I trusted them. Trust is not automatic, it has to be earned - and it is a two way street. I'm not saying I'm just sitting back doing nothing in a relationship. It works both ways.3) Sex is generally good. Even when it's lacking relative to other sexual experiences, it is better than a lot of other things. The whole giving yourself would indicate that you are making some sort of sacrifice. Not that you are sharing a wonderful experience. That's not really a turn on.
Giving myself by being vulnerable. I don't literally mean I'm a present! HahaFor these reasons and infinitely more, I think it is better to just own it and say I am not comfortable rather than say I want to make sure you are worth it and that I can trust you.
For me, it's definitely a mix of both things. But if you tell someone you're not comfortable with them enough to be intimate with them, isn't that kind of the same thing as saying "I don't trust you?" I don't see a difference. It's just wording something a different way.
Either way, it's clearly not something any guy wants to hear, judging from what I have read on this thread.0 -
For me, it's definitely a mix of both things. But if you tell someone you're not comfortable with them enough to be intimate with them, isn't that kind of the same thing as saying "I don't trust you?" I don't see a difference. It's just wording something a different way.
I think the way you phrased it in asking your question are basically saying the same thing. By accepting ownership, I mean that words like "I" and "my" are emphasized rather than words like "you". I would suggest talking about your feelings not his actions or inactions. For example, "I am not comfortable enough with our relationship to go further. I need more time to build feelings of trust because my past experiences have me second guessing what I feel for you." takes ownership of the situation. you are conveying that things aren't going forward because you have reservations that are unrelated to him or anything he is doing. It has nothing to do with how he acts around you. There is nothing he can do to change it. He isn't failing in anything he is doing. You'd be in the same situation regardless of whether it was him or any other guy.
Compare that with this: "I am not comfortable with going further yet. I need to be sure I can trust you. To me, sex means being vulnerable to another person and I want to make sure you are worth it." Here you are emphasizing that it has to with the guy. It is easy to interpret this as the guy needs to prove that he is worth you feeling vulnerable for. Or at least, you are strongly suggesting it. To the extent, this conversation is coming up because the guy is moving towards sex, it is easy for the guy to interpret this explanation as "we aren't having sex because you haven't proven you are trustworthy. If you had proven I could trust you, we'd probably being having sex right now."
In a nutshell, for lack of a better word, the "hangup" is how you feel so take ownership and responsibility for your feelings and don't make the guy feel like it's his "fault."0 -
I think the way you phrased it in asking your question are basically saying the same thing. By accepting ownership, I mean that words like "I" and "my" are emphasized rather than words like "you". I would suggest talking about your feelings not his actions or inactions. For example, "I am not comfortable enough with our relationship to go further. I need more time to build feelings of trust because my past experiences have me second guessing what I feel for you." takes ownership of the situation. you are conveying that things aren't going forward because you have reservations that are unrelated to him or anything he is doing. It has nothing to do with how he acts around you. There is nothing he can do to change it. He isn't failing in anything he is doing. You'd be in the same situation regardless of whether it was him or any other guy.
That is actually not a bad idea. Good wording on that, thank you! Still not feeling the best about what I've seen on here but I like those word choices to deal with it if the situation ever comes up and I meet a halfway decent guy!0 -
Glad I can maybe help. No to help you with your attitude.That is actually not a bad idea. Good wording on that, thank you! Still not feeling the best about what I've seen on here but I like those word choices to deal with it if the situation ever comes up and I meet a halfway decent guy!
Should be:That is actually not a bad idea. Good wording on that, thank you! Still not feeling the best about what I've seen on here but I like those word choices to deal with it if the situation ever comes up when I meet a great guy!
don't go looking for halfway decent and be more confident that you WILL meet a great guy.0 -
I think this is a very valid concern. Anytime we hold values that are outside "the norm," we have to accept the consequences. And depending on the culture around you, waiting a bit for sex could greatly limit the dating pool.I feel like with my values that I have, I'll end up being single forever because I won't put out right away, and if you can get sex somewhere else why would you bother dating me and have to wait for me to feel comfortable with you?Christine...If you are confident in your right to hold your values, if you are unapologetic, open and giving, if you make your guy feel special, you will find someone who shares your values who trusts and understands you enough to wait until you feel comfortable with him.
This is key. We have to know what we want and what we are willing to stand for at all costs (we also need to know what's NOT that big of a deal). In my case, I will wait for commitment before sex... and there ARE guys who are willing to do that... but I am also adventurous and want excitement once that commitment arrives. Finding a man who is similar minded but also willing to wait is going to be difficult at best.
That's why, a year ago, I had to come to terms with the fact that I would likely never remarry. Doesn't mean I've given up hope. Doesn't mean I won't go out (haha 4 dates last week). But it DOES mean "a permanent man" is no longer something upon which l upon which I base my self-esteem, feeling of success.0 -
you are essentially telling a guy that it is his fault you aren't having sex with him because he hasn't proven he is a good enough person.
Not trying to be snarky or anything... just truly trying to understand...
What, exactly, is wrong with this attitude? People have to prove themselves. They (should) have to prove themselves to earn our trust. They (should) have to prove themselves before we trust them with personal details about our lives. They (should) have to prove themselves before we entrust them with our children, our money.... why not our bodies?
During a first date, long time ago, I was fumbling to get my purse so I could run to the ladies... the guy said, don't worry you can leave your purse with me. I smiled and said, "that's ok" but as I walked away, I thought to myself, "Is he psycho?? Who would trust a total stranger with their purse?? Does he think I'm that dumb?
What a man has to "prove" in order for a woman to allow him (as yoovie so indelicately - but accurately- put it) to jam himself, often painfully into her body may very from woman to woman, but even if I didn't have religious convictions on how long to wait, I would at the VERY LEAST want to wait until I know the guy well enough to be confident that a) he is going to be a reciprocating lover (ie I'm usually gonna get mine- so often women tell me they don't), b) he's not gonna give me STDs, and c) that he's not going to disappear in the morning just because we've had sex and now, conquest filled, he has no more respect (or use) for me.
I guess I'm just weird. If a guy told me "I'm not gonna sleep with you until you've proven yourself," or, more likely, I'm not going to trust you with my car, or my credit card, or give you the key to my house, etc... I would not be offended. I would say, thanks for the honesty and proceed with getting to know him.0 -
Cliff Notes version. Your choice of words matter. The longer version follows:
What I think is wrong with the attitude is that it is communicating blame on him rather than your uncertainty and your desire to proceed cautiously. It also conveys a message that you view the build up to sex as a game that he isn't playing very well. It conveys that he isn't doing something that he needs to do. If he figures out what he needs to do then the "vault to the magic kingdom" will suddenly open. Let the games begin!
You haven't engaged in sex with the guy because of anything he has or has not done so it is not that he hasn't proven himself. You are cautious and you want greater certainty. This has to do completely with you not with him. I doubt there is anything he can say or do that would cause you to just say to yourself the panties are dropping right here right now. So why make it sound like it's his actions that will decide when or if things go further? He has his own uncertainties and doesn't really need to feel accountable for yours.
I am also not talking about a complete or a near stranger. Tchristine has asked questions about waiting 6 months to a year. At that point, you can get a decent feeling for a person's character. You know if he does little things to show his appreciation, which sends a signal that he reciprocates in bed. You've seen how he interacts with people (particularly you) when he's had a bad day, is sick, tired or otherwise not at his best. You've seen how he acts in a traffic jam. You've seen how he acts when he has a few drinks and his inhibitions are lowered. You've met some of his friends. You've seen whether or not he is respectful of you and your insecurities in a fight, etc. etc. It is unfair and inaccurate to tell a guy who has provided all this information that he hasn't done enough "to prove himself." More action is required on his part. What is really going on is that you are scared and you need to deal with it.
I also think it is somewhat semantics but "you prove" indicates that whoever the "you" is has to take action. To say they have to prove themselves to know personal details of your life, to be trusted with your children, money, etc. requires action on their part. What basically needs to happen for any of those things to occur is that you need to feel comfortable. To illustrate, what direct actions have your son's teachers and administrators in his school or any of your financial advisers taken to prove their worthiness? What have I or any other members on this forum done to make us trustworthy with the details you've given us about your life? From reading these forums I know some of the following about you and this personal information is available to others as well. I know your education level and degree, your employer, your son's age, your opinions about sex. That your husband and you were both virgins when you got married. That you have a kinky side once you get to know someone. That you go on a lot of dates because you fear that men won't stick around for long when they learn what it will take to have sex with you.
My point is that people don't really have to prove themselves. You have to feel comfortable. There is a difference so there is no need to project onto another party what could be perceived as failure or blame for his actions. Take responsibility and be accountable for your feelings and decisions. Don't project that responsibility onto others.0 -
I totally agree with db. It is a scarey world out there. Horrible people exist who use others to their own ends, we don't always spot them at first. People are vulnerable. To care is to risk. These are facts of life. Accept them, own your vulnerability, admit to your feelings when you fear. Don't project them onto the other person and make them the potential bad guy or girl who has to prove themselves. Innocent until proved guilty. That doesn't mean throwing caution to the wind and doing something you don't feel comfortable with. It does mean giving negative feedback in a way that puts the responsibility in the right place. I like you but don't feel comfortable enough yet to feel so vulnerable implies that the issue is with me/the world. I don't trust you and you've not proved yourself yet implies that the other person is responsible for the lack of trust.
Ladies, lets try and reverse the positions for a moment (bear with me on this :happy: ). If you are beginning to care a lot for someone and are doing things to show that you feel they are special and then they tell you in essence that they fear your intentions towards them, what are you to make of that? I would think that all my efforts were being viewed with suspicion (are they doing it to get me into bed?) ot that my efforts are insufficient. I may wonder what else I have to do to show my trustworthiness, whether maybe the other person doesn't actually like or accept me as I am. Contrast that with feeling that the other person appreciates what you do for them, that they like who you are but that they need time to feel comfortable enough to be that vulnerable with you. There is a world of difference between those two scenarios - difference that will affect how you feel about yourself and the relationship. If a relationship leaves you feeling devalued and less than, you'll look for someone who appreciates you more. Of course there are some guys who would walk in either scenario because they are just after sex. That's disappointing but at least you've avoided sleeping with them.
Janie I get that your situation is different in that for you it isn't just about feeling comfortable. For most people committment is an exclusive relationship, for you it's considerably more. As you say for values outside the norm you are looking for likeminded people and that will limit your dating pool. The same could be said of people whose circumstances are well outside the norm, this I do know something about as I have two friends in this category. It takes much longer to find Mr. Right. It must be very frustrating. I can only encourage you to seek dates from within communities of likeminded people and not to unintentionally personalise the issue of differing values into the guy being potentially untrustworthy. As I understand it, your situation is not about trust, it's about religious belief and how that applies to sex and marriage (apologies if I have got this wrong).0 -
i actually really like this post :-)
i wish more people thought like THIS. i don't care if people have sex before they get married, i don't care if they have it one the first date, or anywhere in-between. i don't care if people have one night stands and sleep around or have a friends with benefits situation. to each their own!!
but, i do wish more people thought like you stated in this post. the whole, we don't trust people with things like money, SSN, our kids, but jumping into bed often doesn't take a second thought!
it's like that whole you need a license to catch a fish, but anyone can make a baby and be a parent.................
i was very cavalier when i first starting having sex ( back in college) i met my ex very quickly and he was the only one from 19 on. after i married i joined my church, and learned about waiting til marriage..... having not grown up like that, it's a hard concept to wrap my head around. it's even harder to try to explain to the people i've had more than 2 dates with. i guess the expectation is that by date 3 we'll have jumped into bed together..... and i just don't work THAT way!!!!Not trying to be snarky or anything... just truly trying to understand...
What, exactly, is wrong with this attitude? People have to prove themselves. They (should) have to prove themselves to earn our trust. They (should) have to prove themselves before we trust them with personal details about our lives. They (should) have to prove themselves before we entrust them with our children, our money.... why not our bodies?
During a first date, long time ago, I was fumbling to get my purse so I could run to the ladies... the guy said, don't worry you can leave your purse with me. I smiled and said, "that's ok" but as I walked away, I thought to myself, "Is he psycho?? Who would trust a total stranger with their purse?? Does he think I'm that dumb?
What a man has to "prove" in order for a woman to allow him (as yoovie so indelicately - but accurately- put it) to jam himself, often painfully into her body may very from woman to woman, but even if I didn't have religious convictions on how long to wait, I would at the VERY LEAST want to wait until I know the guy well enough to be confident that a) he is going to be a reciprocating lover (ie I'm usually gonna get mine- so often women tell me they don't), b) he's not gonna give me STDs, and c) that he's not going to disappear in the morning just because we've had sex and now, conquest filled, he has no more respect (or use) for me.
I guess I'm just weird. If a guy told me "I'm not gonna sleep with you until you've proven yourself," or, more likely, I'm not going to trust you with my car, or my credit card, or give you the key to my house, etc... I would not be offended. I would say, thanks for the honesty and proceed with getting to know him.0
This discussion has been closed.