When is it appropriate to set up a date or exchange numbers
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Jarnard
Posts: 497 Member
Okay - So I've been doing this online dating thing for a minute now... Well, I've been going back and forth with small selection of women who am interested to meet. So my question is, when is a good time to get their number? Should I also set up a date when I get the number? I've recently given a woman my number expressing interest to meet up later but she never mentioned if that was a good idea or not BUT we've been emailing back and forth. What should I do in that situation? So there you go.. I believe that's three questions.
Jarnard
Here's my profile.. if i need to revise it up.. let me know.
www.okcupid.com/profile/sdrunner2012
Jarnard
Here's my profile.. if i need to revise it up.. let me know.
www.okcupid.com/profile/sdrunner2012
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Replies
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If a woman continues to write you on a dating site then she is interested. I think you can ask for a number after a few days and you should most likely ask her out at the end of the conversation or immediately after via email (if it goes well enough that you still want to). Women are usually waiting for the man to make the next move so we don't come across as too aggressive, but we will definitely stop emailing if there is no longer interest.0
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THanks! I'll keep that in mind!
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My experience has been that after a few emails then go to texting then talking on the phone then a meeting/date. Sometimes the talking on the phone gets skipped altogether ..... that did happen a few times and one of those times I was with the guy for 8 months so it is not a bad thing.0
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I like a guy to wait a little while to ask for my number. I want to exchange a few emails and get to know him a little first. There's no set number of emails, just after a few back and forth. Yes, if a woman is emailing you back and forth then there is mutual interest. Most guys I've met online send me their number instead of asking for mine. I don't like that. I guess I'm old fashioned, but I don't want to make the first phone call. I usually respond by sending mine. The one or two guys who actually asked for mine instead of sending theirs made bonus points. Another thing I don't like is texting before a phone call is ever made. I've met the occasional guy who never calls, but all communication is via text. I definitely don't like that. You can tell a lot by an email, but even more about chemistry, etc. via a phone conversation. As far as when to ask for a date, I think that depends too. Sometimes it's nice to exchange a few phone calls, even if they are going really well. But I wouldn't let it drag on too long. No more than two or three without asking for a date. I've met a few guys who I had amazing chemistry with and I know this because we talked on the phone for hours before we ever met in person.0
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Okay - So I've been doing this online dating thing for a minute now... Well, I've been going back and forth with small selection of women who am interested to meet. So my question is, when is a good time to get their number? Should I also set up a date when I get the number? I've recently given a woman my number expressing interest to meet up later but she never mentioned if that was a good idea or not BUT we've been emailing back and forth. What should I do in that situation? So there you go.. I believe that's three questions.
Jarnard
Here's my profile.. if i need to revise it up.. let me know.
www.okcupid.com/profile/sdrunner2012
How detailed are the emails? Are you actually conversing through the emails or just having small talk or just flirting? Or all of the above? All of the above= get the number, dude!
I agree with another poster who said that she tends to go from emails to text to phone calls to meeting up. That's pretty much been my experience. And I say set up a meeting time as soon as you feel comfortable. I've talked to some guys online for years that I'll probably never meet in person, but we have become good friends. I've also met guys pretty much immediately (in a public place, of course) because we just didn't want to waste too much time. Chemistry was there. We dated a while. One I got engaged to. One I married. I don't blame the marriage's end because we originally met online. He actually only lived a mile down the road from me...
But here's one tip... if you are really interested, don't wait too long to get or give your number. And I, personally, love it when a guy sends me his number first. That way, he is telling me that he wants me to contact him, but he's not being creepy by asking for my number too soon. lol
Oh, another thing, and I might be weird for this one.. but voice attraction is important to me. Superficial? Maybe. But everyone has preferences, and if I'm not attracted to his voice or if his voice just creeps me out, well, I can't go there. Ok. So, I like to talk on the phone fairly quickly. No need in wasting time if I can't stand the sound of his voice.0 -
I like a guy to wait a little while to ask for my number. I want to exchange a few emails and get to know him a little first. There's no set number of emails, just after a few back and forth. Yes, if a woman is emailing you back and forth then there is mutual interest. Most guys I've met online send me their number instead of asking for mine. I don't like that. I guess I'm old fashioned, but I don't want to make the first phone call. I usually respond by sending mine. The one or two guys who actually asked for mine instead of sending theirs made bonus points. Another thing I don't like is texting before a phone call is ever made. I've met the occasional guy who never calls, but all communication is via text. I definitely don't like that. You can tell a lot by an email, but even more about chemistry, etc. via a phone conversation. As far as when to ask for a date, I think that depends too. Sometimes it's nice to exchange a few phone calls, even if they are going really well. But I wouldn't let it drag on too long. No more than two or three without asking for a date. I've met a few guys who I had amazing chemistry with and I know this because we talked on the phone for hours before we ever met in person.
I don't necessarily like making the first phone call, either, but I have found that most guys are trying to be respectful by sending you their number. I mean, "be aware of online dates and scammers" is all over the place. I think they are just trying to give you the opportunity to contact them anonymously if you want to... I don't mind when a guy sends me his number. It doesn't mean I'll always call first. But if I'm comfortable talking to him, I might text him or send him an email with my number letting him know it's okay to call or text.
I agree that I like phone conversations before meeting... definitely.0 -
Most guys I've met online send me their number instead of asking for mine. I don't like that. I guess I'm old fashioned, but I don't want to make the first phone call. I usually respond by sending mine. The one or two guys who actually asked for mine instead of sending theirs made bonus points.
I would rather a nervous guy text before calling...but I do not want to be the first one to initiate texts or calls. Feels too weird because it's the initial exchange of personal info beyond the dating site.0 -
It's really interesting how everyone is so different. I don't mind talking on the phone, however, I've notice that society has made it clearly acceptable to text. I've grown to be more comfortable at texting, however, I would rather call the person. I agree, you can establish some sort of chemistry through a conversation on the phone. All of your ideas are great.
To answer some of your questions. Most of the women that has been showing interest in me, we have been having conversations that we could have on the phone. I also find that asking for her number is good. I usually add my number at the end of an email when I'm ready to exchange.. Usually she'll post hers in the next email, from there, I'll send her a text saying, "here's my number".
In this specific situation, I gave her my number and mentioned we should go for a hike by the beach...she never responded to it..not sure how to re approach the situation.. I gave her my number about 4 emails ago. lol. No biggie though.0 -
Best person to ask about this would be the girl in question. 0
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i hate the long drawn out process, especially if you live close to each other. but then again i'm not the type of person who can become attracted or develop chemistry with someone over email or telephone. if anything i get the opposite reaction.
i'd say set up a date ASAP. if you're going to do something like coffee then it's not that bog of a deal, but really whenever a guy wants to take extra long time emailing and texting me instead of actually meeting me, it makes me think there's something about him he's hoping i'll overlook because i've magically become attached to him via email, text or phone.0 -
i hate the long drawn out process, especially if you live close to each other. but then again i'm not the type of person who can become attracted or develop chemistry with someone over email or telephone. if anything i get the opposite reaction.
i'd say set up a date ASAP. if you're going to do something like coffee then it's not that bog of a deal, but really whenever a guy wants to take extra long time emailing and texting me instead of actually meeting me, it makes me think there's something about him he's hoping i'll overlook because i've magically become attached to him via email, text or phone.
Good idea... once they send me an email.. I'll set something up. I'm working on 3 at the moment. OKC is a lot of work. I'll have to send out 10 emails for 1 response. LOL.0 -
Good idea... once they send me an email.. I'll set something up. I'm working on 3 at the moment. OKC is a lot of work. I'll have to send out 10 emails for 1 response. LOL.
That's not unusual, but think of it this way. If you are out looking for girls at bars, is your ratio of women who are going to be truly receptive to you going to be higher than that?
Online dating and the bar/club scene are the two worst ways to generate quality dates. Focus on meeting women though your day to day activities.0 -
Good idea... once they send me an email.. I'll set something up. I'm working on 3 at the moment. OKC is a lot of work. I'll have to send out 10 emails for 1 response. LOL.
That's not unusual, but think of it this way. If you are out looking for girls at bars, is your ratio of women who are going to be truly receptive to you going to be higher than that?
Online dating and the bar/club scene are the two worst ways to generate quality dates. Focus on meeting women though your day to day activities.
This is a good idea as well. Some times it's a little harder when you don't go out as much and you work a large percentage of the time.
I do agree with the concept that you'll meet some one when you least expect it.0 -
Rough guide:
Emails - 2 or 3 to establish interest
Guy gives number, I give mine if still interested
Guy texts to ask when its good to ring
Guy rings, common ground is established
Guy asks for date, 1st or second phone call (depends on phone chemistry)
Date
All this, within a week or two!
Online dating is fast and furious!! Dont waste your time being precious about it. The lady in question will be meeting someone else who's a bit more spontaneous........
I'd say the only set rule is dont give out your number on the first message! I would never call a guy I hadn't established any connection with...........good luck :flowerforyou:0 -
Ok, a girl initiates contact with me on the dating website. Her message:
"Do you wanna come and get smashed with me?"
My answer:
"Yay! Where and when?" (within a day)
(next hypothetical step: give my num, ask for hers and get smashed together I s'pose)
*kitten* those patterns! :laugh:0 -
In this specific situation, I gave her my number and mentioned we should go for a hike by the beach...she never responded to it..not sure how to re approach the situation.. I gave her my number about 4 emails ago. lol. No biggie though.
I think this could be one of two things:
1. she isn't interested (sorry)
2. she is interested but is sticking to the "rule" that a woman should not call the man first
You will probably determine which it is depending on if you are still emailing. Continued emails mean #2.0 -
I usually email them back and forth for a few days, then ask them if they want to get a drink. They usually just send me their number and I'll text within a day to set up the date.0
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Best person to ask about this would be the girl in question.
Agree. Each lady is different. I personally prefer to meet/talk ASAP after a few preliminary emails. No sense wasting my time with someone who won’t click in person. But a couple years ago, when I was first on Match, I was uncomfortable with meeting too quick.0 -
In this specific situation, I gave her my number and mentioned we should go for a hike by the beach...she never responded to it..not sure how to re approach the situation.. I gave her my number about 4 emails ago. lol. No biggie though.
I think this could be one of two things:
1. she isn't interested (sorry)
2. she is interested but is sticking to the "rule" that a woman should not call the man first
You will probably determine which it is depending on if you are still emailing. Continued emails mean #2.
Or 3. A hike by the beach would scare me as a first date. Safety first. If I end up on the evening news, I don't want people to say, "What was she thinking going out on a hike with a stranger?"0 -
That's just weird, I mean that's fine if she didn't want to be the person to make the first call, but why wouldn't she send you her number? And why not answer the friggin question? I don't know if it's just online etiquette that people don't have or what.In this specific situation, I gave her my number and mentioned we should go for a hike by the beach...she never responded to it..not sure how to re approach the situation.. I gave her my number about 4 emails ago. lol. No biggie though.0
