When is it appropriate to set up a date or exchange numbers
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In this specific situation, I gave her my number and mentioned we should go for a hike by the beach...she never responded to it..not sure how to re approach the situation.. I gave her my number about 4 emails ago. lol. No biggie though.
Definitely agree for the others that the date should be in a public location for two different reasons:
- to make the woman feel like you're trying to hide her
- and for her safety. even if she thinks you're a great guy there is a chance you could physically harm her. it is just the strength of a man over a woman. it's nothing personal!0 -
In this specific situation, I gave her my number and mentioned we should go for a hike by the beach...she never responded to it..not sure how to re approach the situation.. I gave her my number about 4 emails ago. lol. No biggie though.
Definitely agree for the others that the date should be in a public location for two different reasons:
- to make the woman feel like you're trying to hide her
- and for her safety. even if she thinks you're a great guy there is a chance you could physically harm her. it is just the strength of a man over a woman. it's nothing personal!
I agree with this- being a women and online dating, safety is always first so every first date is in a public area with lots of people. It isn't until I feel comfortable that I would go for a hike(usually third date or so) but that is an awesome date. I would love a guy to suggest that!
For her not approaching the hiking and the phone number part- either she likes to move slower online (I used to be be slow giving out my number and meeting guys when I first started online dating) or she is not that interested.
I also took a look at your OK profile and I think you have done a nice job on it. If you lived closer to me, I would message you- I especially LOVE the GB Packers!
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Some of us in predominately female workplaces(ahem, teachers) have a TOUGH time meeting people through our day to day activities, so bars/singles groups/online is the way to meet new fellas.
I have learned that people have TERRIBLE manners online. Can't take it too personally.
I think if the emails are engaging and a decent conversation is going on, asking for their number is fine whenever you feel it. It's just like meeting someone in the coffee shop. A good convo should lead to personal connection. Go for it!
As a side note:
I don't give out my number to guys I meet online until we've met in person and I feel like there is potential for more than a couple dates. My service provider doesn't allow me to block callers and I have had issues in the past with a guy who wouldn't leave me alone after I expressed I wasn't interested.
Instead, I give them a Google Voice number. This allows us to text prior to meeting up face-to-face, but provides me an out if the guy doesn't let it go when he should.0 -
My biggest problem is when a guy says "let's meet" and I say "Hell yeah, I'm booked up for the next week but once things calm down heck yeah! Then suddenly the awesome conversation we were having before completely dries up because now he's pressuring me constantly about meeting in person which stresses me out and makes me not want to meet him at all.
Just... chillax. Be cool, chat, and let it happen. A lot of times she really is just friggin' busy and the last thing she wants is more to worry about.0 -
Some of us in predominately female workplaces(ahem, teachers) have a TOUGH time meeting people through our day to day activities, so bars/singles groups/online is the way to meet new fellas.
I have learned that people have TERRIBLE manners online. Can't take it too personally.
I think if the emails are engaging and a decent conversation is going on, asking for their number is fine whenever you feel it. It's just like meeting someone in the coffee shop. A good convo should lead to personal connection. Go for it!
As a side note:
I don't give out my number to guys I meet online until we've met in person and I feel like there is potential for more than a couple dates. My service provider doesn't allow me to block callers and I have had issues in the past with a guy who wouldn't leave me alone after I expressed I wasn't interested.
Instead, I give them a Google Voice number. This allows us to text prior to meeting up face-to-face, but provides me an out if the guy doesn't let it go when he should.
Totally agree with your first statement. I teach 7th grade. Ummm, I spend my day with adolescents all day (all females, except for one married man on my hall) and then I go home to my three children. I go to church. No single men there. I live out in the country, way out... not a lot of opportunities for meeting people. And I hate meeting someone in a bar/club.
And I like your ideas about using google voice. I may do that next time. Currently, taking a break from dating... but I will keep it in mind. 0 -
That's just weird, I mean that's fine if she didn't want to be the person to make the first call, but why wouldn't she send you her number?
Maybe she thought if he really wanted it he'd ask...? Maybe she saw "He's not that into you" where they say when a guy gives you his number instead of asking for yours he's not really interested...? Maybe she's getting a lot of attention and has immediate commitments to other guys...?
That last sentence wasn't facetious... when I met bodybuilder guy online, I had 3 full weekends in a row already planned (trips, races, etc) plus limited availability for lunches (which I prefer for a first date). I was so worried he’d think I wasn’t interested, but I’m pretty firm about not changing existing plans for some new guy.
PS I also agree with google voice! Great free product!0 -
Maybe she saw "He's not that into you" where they say when a guy gives you his number instead of asking for yours he's not really interested...?
Honestly I think that is so completely wrong it isn`t funny and read some reviews of this book.
It is almost viewed as sacred by many but was almost universally derided by both men and women reviewing it.
As to the point,it is my interpretation of things that a lady is going to be very uncomfortable with a guy asking for private info like that.
It seems to me to be a basic no no so early on.
To suggest not doing it means he isn`t interested just makes me question how much value one should put in the authors opinions.0 -
Maybe she saw "He's not that into you" where they say when a guy gives you his number instead of asking for yours he's not really interested...?
I would suggest that if the gal is letting the most recent dating movie dictate her behavior, I am probably not going to be into her once I get to know her. Why is it that advise that says run for the hills if you see this is good advise but the three date rule from Sex and the City is abhorred?0 -
Well I guess it's just me, but usually when I ask somebody out they give me their numbers without me even asking, it's just implied. I never saw that movie but someone did tell me once that she got all bent because she gave me her number and then I gave her mine, and she though it meant that she was supposed to call me. I just thought I'd give it to her so she would have it and wouldn't have to screen my call.Maybe she thought if he really wanted it he'd ask...? Maybe she saw "He's not that into you" where they say when a guy gives you his number instead of asking for yours he's not really interested...? Maybe she's getting a lot of attention and has immediate commitments to other guys...?
Perhaps she's seeing other people, but she could have at least answered the question. That's a big question to ask and she just avoided it. I know if I ask someone out and they avoid the question I'm probably not going to ask again. Then I just look needy.0 -
Honestly I think that is so completely wrong it isn`t funny and read some reviews of this book.
It is almost viewed as sacred by many but was almost universally derided by both men and women reviewing it.
I watched this with the 2nd guy I dated since becoming single and, from his perspective, the movie was dead on.if the gal is letting the most recent dating movie dictate her behavior, I am probably not going to be into her once I get to know her. Why is it that advise that says run for the hills if you see this is good advise but the three date rule from Sex and the City is abhorred?
I dunno... I never had a problem with the 3 day rule, lol...or at the very least, the "recipricate" rule (if he takes a week to respond, you do)0 -
Honestly I think that is so completely wrong it isn`t funny and read some reviews of this book.
It is almost viewed as sacred by many but was almost universally derided by both men and women reviewing it.
I watched this with the 2nd guy I dated since becoming single and, from his perspective, the movie was dead on.if the gal is letting the most recent dating movie dictate her behavior, I am probably not going to be into her once I get to know her. Why is it that advise that says run for the hills if you see this is good advise but the three date rule from Sex and the City is abhorred?
I dunno... I never had a problem with the 3 day rule, lol...or at the very least, the "recipricate" rule (if he takes a week to respond, you do)
3 date rule,totally different.
I just bet in this case if a lady on here posted a thread saying a guy she had only recently become acquainted with just asked for her phone number (which can make her address findable) she would be told not to give it out yet.0 -
3 date rule,totally different.
Completely disagree. They are both absolutely worthless principles based on a pop culture movie/tv reference.0 -
3 date rule,totally different.
I just bet in this case if a lady on here posted a thread saying a guy she had only recently become acquainted with just asked for her phone number (which can make her address findable) she would be told not to give it out yet.
oops!:blushing: uh, yeah, I guess I'm not a supporter of that one, lol! :blushing:
I would tell her to give out the number. My cell is plastered all over the internet (real estate), PLUS I wanna meet someone in person as soon as possible, so I have no trouble giving my number to whoever asks. And I recommend that other ladies do so as well to avoid wasting time online, building an emotional attachment, with a guy they discover in person they’re not compatible with. If not their own number than Google Voice or Kall8 or some other number they can direct to their cell.
Edited to add: That said, when I first became single I was scared to give my number out because it felt like "too much too soon."0 -
Maybe she saw "He's not that into you" where they say when a guy gives you his number instead of asking for yours he's not really interested...?
Honestly I think that is so completely wrong it isn`t funny and read some reviews of this book.
It is almost viewed as sacred by many but was almost universally derided by both men and women reviewing it.
As to the point,it is my interpretation of things that a lady is going to be very uncomfortable with a guy asking for private info like that.
It seems to me to be a basic no no so early on.
To suggest not doing it means he isn`t interested just makes me question how much value one should put in the authors opinions.
Dude, that movie was spot on. To a T0 -
Maybe she saw "He's not that into you" where they say when a guy gives you his number instead of asking for yours he's not really interested...?
Honestly I think that is so completely wrong it isn`t funny and read some reviews of this book.
It is almost viewed as sacred by many but was almost universally derided by both men and women reviewing it.
As to the point,it is my interpretation of things that a lady is going to be very uncomfortable with a guy asking for private info like that.
It seems to me to be a basic no no so early on.
To suggest not doing it means he isn`t interested just makes me question how much value one should put in the authors opinions.
Dude, that movie was spot on. To a T
I have not seen it nor read the book,just some excerpts from that and reviews which were not flattering.
No doubt there are certain things that will apply to some,blind squirrel/nut issue but I also know full well some of what he says as an "authority" on men do not apply to me and am sure many others as well.
No one is going to be able to group a gender like that.
Just look here...will use the ladies as an example because there are far more that post then guys.
More often then not several will take completely opposite views on things.
My observation on self help books and such is everyone wants to find things that they like,find ways to morph behaviors into things they like or want to believe and then ignore all that are not so pleasant.
I look at them as okay if done with honest introspection but if only for validation then a waste of time.0
