Stuck in Diet Mode

greekygirl

So it occurred to me earlier as I was answering a friend that I should take some of my own advice. I just realized I have been stuck in this diet mentality which goes hand in hand with my BED...I think my restriction really is causing my binges and I've been having a lot lately. (I'm a bit of a slow learner sometimes.)

I want to get out of this diet/binge/diet/binge/restrict whatever you want to call it cycle and really try to listen to my body, make healthy choices with food but not be so rigid or something....somewhere along the way since I've been with MFP my eating disorder has gone wild. I really want to try to eat intuitively, mindfully, not dieting just making healthy decisions...sort of what Geneen Roth says in her books. I got an app that is supposed to help people with eating disorders that's based on the same philosophy.

I want to get healthy, not just lose or maintain weight. That is probably the first time I've ever said that. It's always been about weight but now the binges and lack of control are killing me.

I'm still going to be on MFP, I guess what I'm saying is I'm sick of planning out my food and thinking about calories for the day at 5am....and bringing salad and chicken to work for lunch every day...and maybe I should do this or maybe I should do that...it's driving me crazy. I'm going to allow myself some flexibility and trust that I can make healthy decisions about what to eat.

And trying to be "good" and stick to a ridiculously low calorie goal that MFP gives me isn't helping. I really hate that "and was under her calorie goal" thing when completing a diary. I feel like I'm "bad" if I'm over and "good" if I'm not and that's just not helpful to me either.

I don't know if any of this makes sense but I just know that I need to break out of this because I'm not in a good place lately. Thanks for listening.

MelV1

It makes perfect sense! I agree with soo much of that, the restricting leads to the binging sometimes. I always end my day with a treat, like a skinny cow ice cream so that I feel like I am still having the things I love.

I am so happy for you! You must be feeling great and so relieved! Please keep in touch. I know you are going to do great at this!

MJ7910

This has helped me over the last 3 days - think of food as fuel. nothing more, nothing less. you want good fuel to run your engine. you don't want too much fuel and you dont' want too little. your body will tell you when you need more fuel (hungry) so give it enough just to satisfy that feeling... this has worked great for me, but again, for only 3 days now... also i stopped logging exercise calories. i still exercise but dont' log. when i was logging exercise calories, it was like was giving myself permission to eat whatever i wanted because "i'm going to exercise"... well then i'd get so full that my stomach would hurt and exercise was painful... so i decided to put myself on kind of an eating plan like they recommend in Overeaters Anonymous. As long as I stick to the plan, i will be ok. I will give my body the fuel it needs and won't overdo it. that gets me out of "diet" mode and into "i have to fuel my body" mode... my goal is to make it all the way to sunday on my plan. then i think i will up my calories just a little to move closer to maintenance. i'll let you know how it goes. you are absolutely right that too much restricting leads to binges. that is why i am striving to find the right balance.

leesee88

I am right there with you.

2 days ago I finally made a break away from the month-long downward spiral i was in. I am really hoping this is the start of another long stretch of "healthy living" (the last one lasted about 13 months) where i am binge-free but not going crazy from restriction, and commited to my exercise routine.... and just generally feeling a lot better.

my nutritionist recommended splitting up my calories more evenly through the day:
breakfast 300
snack 150
lunch 300
snack 130
dinner 300

I am sure you have heard that before, but the last 2 days it has really worked for me (i know its only 2 days- i will keep u updated on how long this actually works for me). when i have a big workout, i increase my 2nd snack by 100 and i also throw in a dessert for another 100. before, i was hoarding for the end of the day which just led to bad things!

And it drives me INSANE that MFP says you are UNDER your calorie goal. Why cant it say you completed within your calorie range? Like if your goal is 1200, then completing between 1100-1300 would be withing the RANGE.

greekygirl

Thank you so much for your responses, it's so nice to know I'm not alone and that I made sense, LOL. I used to really hate posting because I am always afraid of not making sense - I don't like to share my feelings but I think it is helpful for me to do it anyway and get out of my comfort zone.

You guys are so awesome, I really appreciate the support!!! I'm feeling much better today, like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. I am being taken out to lunch today as a belated Administrative Professionals day and I trust I can and will make good decisions about what to eat and listen to my body. It was nice to not have to bring chicken and salad to work today too. LOL.

And a big thank you for sharing with me what you are doing and what is working for you! I'm so glad to hear you're doing well! I can do this too! WE can do this!! :happy:

greekygirl

And it drives me INSANE that MFP says you are UNDER your calorie goal. Why cant it say you completed within your calorie range? Like if your goal is 1200, then completing between 1100-1300 would be withing the RANGE.

That would be much better. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who hates that! I almost shut off the feature to complete the diary just so it wouldn't say it!

I did shut off the weight loss notification though - I didn't want everyone to see my maintenance yo-yo'ing and congratulate me for false weight loss.