Scared - need support with this

saraht131

Hi. I'm 209lbs currently and I've been using MFP for the past 3 weeks and have so far lost 5lbs and then put it on again. I net 1200 calories and workout 5 or 6 days a week - strength and low impact cardio (I have 2 stress fractures in my shin so I can't run or jump about or even hop until it heals). I eat back my calories to 1200 at least. I also still eat some sugary food, although I don't eat trans fats or take outs or pastry or anything like that.

I used to have an eating disorder - just 3 years ago I weighed 97lbs. And the binge - starve cycle got me to this weight now. Except I was too afraid to starve because I was hospitalised and nearly died and my heart stopped cos I was so thin and ill before. So just the binges then!

I don't want to starve myself to lose weight again, because I notice that after just a short while the old "eating disorder" state of mind comes into play. But I'm miserable being fat and my confidence is at an all time low.

I've always been fairly science minded anyway, and this eating above my BMR thing appeals to that. But it goes against everything I've always thought ever about eating or losing weight. Yes, I know rationally it makes sense, and I rationally know that what I'm doing isn't working but I'm very scared to eat so much. So I'll need lots of hand holding, reassurance and talking off ledges!

Also advice you can offer or tips would be great. My diary is open if you want to have a look also. If I need to make any huge changes to my eating, let me know. (yes I know I eat chocolate or cupcakes on occasion, but always to top up my calories to net 1200. If this is bad or will stop me losing weight, let me know.)

I have about 70 - 80ish lbs to lose, and I'd prefer to lose them in not much longer than a year cos I'm supposed to be getting married and then getting pregnant :-)

ANewLucia

Hi there welcome...the science works my friend. Please take a moment and check out the videos on TDEE and consistency...key. Also the topic on what to expect when upping. This is a slow but maintainable process. You can do this.

saraht131

Thanks. I've read the articles already but I'm waiting till the room is empty before watching videos.

mommamuscles

Hi and welcome! I understand where you're coming from as someone recovering from ED myself. I was 88 lbs at my lowest and 275 at my highest. I've run the full spectrum from anorexia to bulimia to binge eating and then I just got to the pouts where I did.not.care. About a year and a half ago, I decided it was time to care, bit made the mistake of having this biggest loser mentality. I was doing long very intense workouts (almost all cardio) and eating under 1000 cals a day. Eventually, to make a long story short, I was having health issues and started gaining wright no matter how much I exercised or how little I ate. I finally decided I couldn't live that way and started eating back some of my exercise cals, and surprise!!!! I busted out f a six month plateau. So basically I lost the first 50 the wrong way and the next 50 the right way. I agree, it is very hard and my mind plays evil tricks on me. But finally, the scale is losing its hold on me, and I feel a lot of freedom from all the disordered thoughts I've carried with me for a long time. I haven't looked at your diary, but my recommendation to you is to eat as clean as possible with one or two little treats sprinkled in. Also, if you are netting only 1200 cals, that is probably too little. Have youut in your numbers on the scooby website? Changing the way our minds think about weight loss is hard, but the freedom you will experience is so worth it! Feel free to se d me a friend request!

HeidiHoMom

This board is very supportive so I think you've come to the right place.

And don't stress about the odd chocolate or cupcake that you eat (or even if you have one every day) if the rest of your diet is relatively good then I think that's healthy both for your mind and body.

saraht131

Thank you for the replies. I've worked out my BMR and TDEE from a couple of internet tools, including the Scooby one, so I'll try and work a bit more with those instead of the "net 1200" cals thing. Yesterday I couldn't work out at all and I felt starving all day on just 1200 cals!

misspgreenwood

hi Saraht - Ive only just started on MYP and I am finding it really hard to get my head into the 'must eat more' menatality - but it does make sense when you get into it (the hard part is holding onto that logic when other less logical stuff spins in your head). Im trying to increase in small amounts and taking my time to build it up. I know I need to get up to around 1500, but thats such a big number and jump that if I try that straight away I wont last a week.

Best of luck with it all.