Getting Hopeful?

SnakeDarling

I hate getting hopeful, then getting rejected or finding out something about the person I'm interested that just kills it.

Anyone have any stories?

La_Amazona

I understand that it's not helpful to be hopeful BUT.. I've been in both situations.

Everybody in here knows my stories haha... so repeating them is probably nervewrecking but they're the best examples because it proves, you just never know.

1) I met a guy on dating site. He was moving over here from another state. We "hit" it off great over message/ phone. One of our phone conversations was 8 hours long!!!! He even commented on how he's never talked that long with anybody ever before. He seemed surprised at how much we got along. He moves to my city. I'm soooo excited and nervous to meet him in person. I feel hopeful because like him, I knew we had sooo much in common. We go out several times. I sleep with him after our 3rd date... 3 days later we have THE talk. He friend zones me. I said I didn't want a relationship. We become friends whom I do everything with. I still had feelings for him all along. He's now moved BACK to his original state.

2) I met a guy on same dating site. We message back and forth. We don't have that much in common yet he's just my type. His interests are different than mine but his intrigue me. Same with my interests to him. After about a week of messages, calls and texts, he asks me out (I didn't think he was interested!). I am SO SO SO excited before our 1st date. I even came on here to say how nervous I was.. everybody calmed me down. I liked him already w/o meeting him in person. I knew that if he rejected me, it'd SUCK big time.
So we go on our first date. It was magical. I've never felt chemistry that fast with someone before. He couldn't stop smiling and was just as giddy. (we talk about that night all the time ) He asked me out during our 1st date for the following night. About a week later we are official and I'm just as giddy about him as that first time.



So being hopeful is scary because if you're rejected, it SUCKS. But what if you're not? The hopefulness, nerves, excitement, pukey feeling are all the fun part of meeting someone new because you just never know. I would had never guessed that the 2nd guy was going to be my boyfriend. I honestly thought he'd probably not like me since I liked him.. just seems to happen that way. But the stars were aligned just right that night because we both felt exactly the same.

mrmanmeat

I understand that it's not helpful to be hopeful BUT.. I've been in both situations.

Everybody in here knows my stories haha... so repeating them is probably nervewrecking but they're the best examples because it proves, you just never know.

1) I met a guy on dating site. He was moving over here from another state. We "hit" it off great over message/ phone. One of our phone conversations was 8 hours long!!!! He even commented on how he's never talked that long with anybody ever before. He seemed surprised at how much we got along. He moves to my city. I'm soooo excited and nervous to meet him in person. I feel hopeful because like him, I knew we had sooo much in common. We go out several times. I sleep with him after our 3rd date... 3 days later we have THE talk. He friend zones me. I said I didn't want a relationship. We become friends whom I do everything with. I still had feelings for him all along. He's now moved BACK to his original state.

2) I met a guy on same dating site. We message back and forth. We don't have that much in common yet he's just my type. His interests are different than mine but his intrigue me. Same with my interests to him. After about a week of messages, calls and texts, he asks me out (I didn't think he was interested!). I am SO SO SO excited before our 1st date. I even came on here to say how nervous I was.. everybody calmed me down. I liked him already w/o meeting him in person. I knew that if he rejected me, it'd SUCK big time.
So we go on our first date. It was magical. I've never felt chemistry that fast with someone before. He couldn't stop smiling and was just as giddy. (we talk about that night all the time ) He asked me out during our 1st date for the following night. About a week later we are official and I'm just as giddy about him as that first time.



So being hopeful is scary because if you're rejected, it SUCKS. But what if you're not? The hopefulness, nerves, excitement, pukey feeling are all the fun part of meeting someone new because you just never know. I would had never guessed that the 2nd guy was going to be my boyfriend. I honestly thought he'd probably not like me since I liked him.. just seems to happen that way. But the stars were aligned just right that night because we both felt exactly the same.

It's quite funny at times how your life revolves around these two. Good and bad.

flimflamfloz

All hope abandon, ye who enter in.
And then I was born.

La_Amazona

I understand that it's not helpful to be hopeful BUT.. I've been in both situations.

Everybody in here knows my stories haha... so repeating them is probably nervewrecking but they're the best examples because it proves, you just never know.

1) I met a guy on dating site. He was moving over here from another state. We "hit" it off great over message/ phone. One of our phone conversations was 8 hours long!!!! He even commented on how he's never talked that long with anybody ever before. He seemed surprised at how much we got along. He moves to my city. I'm soooo excited and nervous to meet him in person. I feel hopeful because like him, I knew we had sooo much in common. We go out several times. I sleep with him after our 3rd date... 3 days later we have THE talk. He friend zones me. I said I didn't want a relationship. We become friends whom I do everything with. I still had feelings for him all along. He's now moved BACK to his original state.

2) I met a guy on same dating site. We message back and forth. We don't have that much in common yet he's just my type. His interests are different than mine but his intrigue me. Same with my interests to him. After about a week of messages, calls and texts, he asks me out (I didn't think he was interested!). I am SO SO SO excited before our 1st date. I even came on here to say how nervous I was.. everybody calmed me down. I liked him already w/o meeting him in person. I knew that if he rejected me, it'd SUCK big time.
So we go on our first date. It was magical. I've never felt chemistry that fast with someone before. He couldn't stop smiling and was just as giddy. (we talk about that night all the time ) He asked me out during our 1st date for the following night. About a week later we are official and I'm just as giddy about him as that first time.



So being hopeful is scary because if you're rejected, it SUCKS. But what if you're not? The hopefulness, nerves, excitement, pukey feeling are all the fun part of meeting someone new because you just never know. I would had never guessed that the 2nd guy was going to be my boyfriend. I honestly thought he'd probably not like me since I liked him.. just seems to happen that way. But the stars were aligned just right that night because we both felt exactly the same.

It's quite funny at times how your life revolves around these two. Good and bad.

Well hellloooo. I haven't dated before this. I was married for 10 years. Besides all the other dates I went on.. these are the 2 that stick out because one I liked soooo much and the other is my bf now. Now suck it.

Roadie2000

Well hellloooo. I haven't dated before this. I was married for 10 years. Besides all the other dates I went on.. these are the 2 that stick out because one I liked soooo much and the other is my bf now. Now suck it.

You have a bf now? This is the first we've heard of this

La_Amazona

Well hellloooo. I haven't dated before this. I was married for 10 years. Besides all the other dates I went on.. these are the 2 that stick out because one I liked soooo much and the other is my bf now. Now suck it.

You have a bf now? This is the first we've heard of this

Oh yeah. Wanna hear all about him??? :laugh:

Saruman_w

I know the feeling. I try not to keep my hopes up 'cause of stuff like that. They always end up getting let down. I keep trying to remind myself if it seems too good to be true, it probably is.

DMZ_1

The best advice is to take it all in stride and not get too high or too low about someone until you're at least exclusive. Far easier said than done.

Moe4572

I, too, hate when this happens. I met a guy on dating site and REALLY liked him....we talked for hours on phone, texted, etc. then we finally met, and just clicked....we went to dinner, talked, then went for coffee and talked some more, then I went back to his house (first for me...never go to someone's house on first date) and we just watched a movie. He kissed me goodbye and we still talked, texted, etc and THEN...........he tells me that his ex is giving him major divorce issues--he was in process of divorce, and that he didn't think it was a good idea for him to be seeing anyone through the divorce, because she could use that to get ugly. no idea if it was true or not, no reason to believe it wasn't but totally sucked to like someone so much and have that happen

oddyogi

It's really hard to get your hopes up and then get rejected. I think that's why me and SL haven't made anything official--we're both scared of getting hurt.

Meh.

jenbit

It's really hard to get your hopes up and then get rejected. I think that's why me and SL haven't made anything official--we're both scared of getting hurt.

Meh.

^^^^ This is exactly why I'm nervous about approaching FWB

yoovie

When I meet someone, I periodically beat down any hope of something wonderful happening, just so he surely cant smell any hope on me. I continue to do this daily even if we start dating.

If he thinks Im really starting to like him, and hope to see more of him, Im screwed. SO I do my best to kill that sht with bleach everytime it starts bubbling up.

An old friend of mine listens to that Womanizer song by britney everytime she starts getting hopeful about a new guy.

yo_andi

I wear perfume on third/fourth/fifth dates so that the stench of hopefulness is well-masked.

meshashesha2012

that's why it's generally a good idea to not try and put all your eggs in 1 basket too soon

christine24t

I hate getting hopeful, then getting rejected or finding out something about the person I'm interested that just kills it.

Same here! I had a big crush on this guy last semester and then found out he had a girlfriend...really disappointing.

JanieJack

I hate getting hopeful, then getting rejected or finding out something about the person I'm interested that just kills it.

Anyone have any stories?

The most common story I have is getting to know someone who seems great and then finding out that they're still technically married. "That's just a piece of paper... my marriage was dead years ago." May be true, but you lied to me.

I really try not to get too hopeful about a guy until 2-3 months because 1) that's when the veil on their personality starts to come down (for example, an amazing guy turns into a controlling, abusive psycho...or a tough guy turns into a wimp who was only "faking it til he made it" when it comes to confidence). and 2) that's when the guy's chemical enthrallment with you wears off and he begins to realize you're just as real a woman (with real feelings and real expectations) as the last 4 girls he ran from.

I personally prefer to find out stuff that kills it early on. Nothing hurt more than getting to know someone for a year or two only to have them kick you to the curb or dog you out when they move away or find someone else (basically don't need your friendship anymore). I'd rather know in the first month or so that it won't work.

flimflamfloz

You girls are hopeless... Literally. :laugh:

MNchick

I wear perfume on third/fourth/fifth dates so that the stench of hopefulness is well-masked.

hahahhaha...THIS!

AllanMisner

I have a story, a sad one actually...

I was out with a female friend. We run into one of her high school friends who just knocked my socks off. We connect instantly, spending the next six hours talking. Fortunately, my friend found someone to occupy her, because we weren't about to leave.

I had sent out my resume the week before we met and after our second date, I tell her that I'm flying to San Diego for a job interview. The look on her face just crushed my heart. She started crying. I calmed her down, but it was obvious that I had a tough decision to make. I chose her. I canceled the interview.

Two months later, we signed a lease together for an awesome apartment in Round Rock. The week before we moved in, she broke up with me for no other reason that "its me, not you."

For the longest time, I avoided "getting hopeful."

87missc87

I wear perfume on third/fourth/fifth dates so that the stench of hopefulness is well-masked.

:laugh: I'll have to try this next time I go on a date.

I am currently working on a new online dating profile. I had some not so great experiences, but nothing terrible enough to share for a good laugh (or cry). Unfortunately most of the few first dates I went on the past year or so went well and were followed by the guys texting me in the days following the date (cue hopefulness), only to cut contact once I initiated hanging out again. :huh: