Feeling lost and alone in the new journey.

Susan923

I am new to this way of living and so far I am loving it and I see it as a life changing event. My problem is that I want to suceed and do it the right way. I am not sure of what I am eating are the right things, if my calories are the right amount, if I am working out in the right ways, ect.
I feel completely lost and alone. I keep reading these message boards to try and learn, I have asked people to take a look at my diary and give me feedback, I have hired a personal trainer to bump up my strength training and I feel more lost than ever.

My little brain is not absorbing the info everyone else seems to know. TDEE, BMR NET. Macro what?? I have figured mine out TDEE 2234 and BMR 1295 NET 1140. Someone very helpfull said that I should be eating 1899 calories even on the days that I don't workout. (I had to look all of this up again because for some reason I can't absorb it)

I am overwhelmed by all of this. What exactly do I eat, how often?? How many calories per meal? If I get stuffed have I eaten too much? Are protein shakes good or bad, protein bars good or bad?? Smuckers Natural peanut butter, good or bad??

I have tried to ask my trainer all of this while showing her my complete food diary and she just gives me one snibbit of info. "don't eat peanut butter, it's to fatty. Don't eat at subway, the meat is processed" ect. She has not helped me to know if I am doing well, what I should be doing, how are my meals looking, my diary as a whole, ect.

I don't have weight to lose, just a body to change more into muscle and get rid of the little bit of fat that I have. I just want to do this the right way forever!
I feel scrambled, lost, overwhelmed and alone with all of my questions. HELP!?!?!?!?

twinmomtwice4

I know...all the information can be super overwhelming!!

The good thing is you know your TDEE and BMR...that's a great start! Since you don't have any weight to lose, I'd suggest eating at your TDEE (no deficit necessary). So eat 2234 calories per day, whether you work or not, and you're good to go.

Feel free to take a look at my diary if you like. I eat very clean and meet my macros on most days (40% carbs, 30% protein and 30% fat). If you want any recipes from my diary, I can message them to you.

As far as WHAT to eat, try to stick with clean foods....very little processed stuff. Watch your sodium intake, too. Regular peanut butters tend to have added sugar and oils. Go for the natural stuff...just peanuts and maybe sea salt. That's it. I also love Trader Joe's Almond butter with sea salt. Peanut butter and all nut butters are good for you as long as you stick to the serving size and don't eat the entire jar!! It's a great source of protein and good fats!

Subway is okay if you don't eat there every day. The sandwiches are loaded with sodium though. And processed meats aren't exactly healthy but every once in awhile isn't going to kill you.

If you like sandwiches, cook an extra chicken breast at dinner and then slice it real thin and eat it on a sandwich. A great way to avoid processed deli meat. Or use no salt added canned tuna or canned salmon.

Anyway, take a look at my diary if you want. I just increased again so I now eat 2000 calories so pretty close to what you should be eating. Also, if you need more encouragement, feel free to send me a friend request!

gemiwing

I would have walked away as soon as she said 'no peanut butter'. Fat is GOOD for you- especially peanut fat. Your brain needs fat to function.

There is no 'bad' food, no 'good' food- just food. Erase the good and bad and you will feel so much better! I say the only 'bad' food is something that isn't a food at all- like paint or cardboard. If it's food- then it's FINE. No good- no bad- just food.

Eat protein, eat fats and eat carbs- you'll be fine The great thing is you don't have to 'get' everything RIGHT NOW GO GO GO!!!!

Just take one thing- get the hang of it and then add another thing.

So if you're not used to eating 1899 cals a day- get used to it first. Eat to get your cals up there.

Once you've mastered that- look at your macros and work to nail them. Till you get your cals right- the macros won't be as important as simply getting used to eating again.

Remembr- this isn't going to happen overnight and it's not supposed to You're doing just fine- relax, pump your brakes, take a moment and enjoy some iced tea. You've got plenty of time to adjust and grow into your new life.

Susan923

Yes, if you could send me recipes that would be great! I just added you a couple of days ago. Susan923.

That's where my frustration comes in. I think I am doing good on my diary. I went out to eat ONE MEAL for the whole week, got a turkey breast sub with no mayo and lots of veggies and THAT'S the only thing my trainer said for my whole diary. I was so bummed because I don't eat chips, soda, juice, candy, sweets white ANYTHING hardly ever and I get the one negative so I feel like I am doing it all wrong and how can I possible suceed. I even work full time and still pack all of my meals from home to make sure I am eating well.
My one treat is Smuckers peanut butter, (no suger added, just peanuts) and I only eat either a 1/2 or a full serving a day and I was told not to do that. Ugh.
Thanks for the feedback!!

ANewLucia

Susan, I am so sorry to hear about your experience with your trainer...uggh! So frustrating..there is not a thing wrong with peanut butter hun...moderation is key...your body needs fats so there must be a balance.

Please take a moment and watch this video...I think it will help to hear about BMR, TDEE and why the "cut"... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYi9xjIRvbY&feature=g-all-u

There is a part 2 as well and then Kiki has some that also helps explain a lot.

Try to shoot for macros of 40carb 30 prot and 30 fat...so trust that 1tbs of peanut butter can more than fit in that there equation....so glad you are here...there are so many awesome people all walking this path right along with you....welcome to the EM2WL family!

ANewLucia

Susan, are you sure you have the "right" trainer for you....I am studying for my certification just to learn more for myself and be able to share even more and I tell you one thing...he should take the time to discuss nutrition and even give you a plan. But I find that many trainers are looking to get quick results because you are paying them for results...the "want it quick mentality" sometimes outweighs the "what is best mentality"...if I decide to train personally...guess what I will be preaching:flowerforyou:

ladyace2078

When I first started I was overwhelmed too. I broke it down into steps and that helped me be less overwhelmed.

1) Learn how many calories I was eating. How: Log everything in MFP and don't worry about any sort of goal. Did this for about 2 weeks. What I learned: I ate WAY too many calories!! I also learned how many calories were in most of the common things I ate.

2) Set a calorie goal (use TDEE minus 15% as a starting point) and learn how to choose foods with fewer calories. How: Enter the food choices into MFP before I eat them. Did this for about 2 months. What I learned: healthier foods give me more bang for my buck for nutrients, plus I could eat MORE food by eating healthier stuff. I also had to allow myself the treats.

3) Learn how to get more fat in my diet. How: Don't worry about any other part of my diet, except calories, so that I could focus on changing the percentage of fat in my diet. Did this for about 2 weeks. What I learned: Which fats are good, the fact that fatty foods like peanut butter, avocado and nuts are higher calorie foods--a good way to help meet my calorie goals.

4) Learn how to get more protein in my diet. How: Don't worry about any other part of my diet, except calories, so that I could focus on changing the percentage of protein in my diet. Did this for about 2 weeks. What I learned: I didn't eat enough protein and had to target having protein at every meal or I couldn't reach a goal of 130g of protein. Learned how to read a label and determine if something is 'high in protein'.

5) Put it all together and monitor my calories to be above my BMR, below my TDEE. Manage my macros to get 50% carbs, 25% fat, and 25% protein (this is sustainable for me personally, others may recommend fewer carbs and more fat/protein). What I've learned: I can pretty much guess how many calories are in a meal without entering into MFP. I know when I've eaten about 500 calories...anything more in one sittng and I don't feel good. I know when I'm low on fat or low on protein...I can just feel the difference in my body--I'm starving with too little protein and I feel foggy with too little fat. I can tell if I'm under on calories for the day before I go to bed because I feel really tired and slightly hungry.

knowak82

I would say just take it one thing at a time...your body will thank you! You have time to get everything you want in order, so just do baby steps! If you try to change everything at once, you'll go crazy!

I would just start by bumping up your calories to your cut amount (TDEE-15% or even 10% if you're saying you don't necessarily want to lose weight but more just change your body composition?). Exercise the way you're used to, and just work on hitting those calorie goals to start. Do that for a few weeks and get your head around the whole eating more thing!

I don't think it matters how many meals you eat and how much you eat at each meal, or or even when you eat. I think most people here eat more frequent, smaller meals because it helps them to not get too full (if you're trying to eat all your cals in one big meal! EEKK!) or too hungry (if you're eating fewer meals you're going longer in between meals).

Typically, I will eat breakfast, then a mid-morning snack, lunch, then an afternoon snack, dinner, and if I have calories left, a snack about an hour or so before bed (I work out at night after my kids go to bed, so generally that before bed snack is a "post workout" snack). We are MFP pals, and my diary is open...please feel free to take a look. I'll even change my meal headings to be for the time of day (as opposed to lumping all my snacks together) :bigsmile:

Then once you're comfortable with getting all your calories in, shoot for tweeking your macros, or changing up your exercise, but only change one thing at a time! Take it slow, and everything will fall into place. This is not a cookie cutter solution that is written in stone. It seems that different things work for different people. The only true constant is that we are all EATING MORE, and loving it

Feel free to message me if you have any other questions! I'm always here to help my MFP buds! :flowerforyou:

beachdiva2010

Hi Susan!! Welcome to your new journey!! I would love to offer support if you're looking for new friends. Everything stated above is perfect info. for you! Please look into joining the group, eat more to lose weight. This group is phenomenal!! You are absolutely welcome to ask questions on any of the threads....anyone there will be more than happy to answer any questions about anything. "No question is a dumb question"!! And I'm sorry, but I would definitely look for a trainer that has a well rounded interest in your total well being!

Susan923

Thanks guys! I will take today and read all of this advice.
I have another training appt today with my trainer. I am excited to get a good strength training workout in. (last week she had me do an entire hour of quads, glutes and hamstrings, I think it was a bit much for one muscle group for an hour)
If it doesn't work...she is gone!!

Today I am also going to try and learn about how to figure out Macros.
What I did absolutely love is that I went out to eat and I did not stress over the fact that I was going to blow my "diet". I woke up this morning feeling just as good about it and you know what?? I am even wearing my skinny pants today.