Trouble "owning" the weight loss

ktempl

I"m really struggling with owning my weight loss, after lossing 60 pounds, it's hard for me to take a compliment, and I feel embarrassed when people look at me and say how great I look. I feel naked if my clothes are fitted at all... it's weird. I didn't expect this. I thought I would want to show it off and really be proud of it, but I'm struggling feeling like I didn't really do it, or I don't deserve it. Anyone else have these feelings, or have ideas on how to work through it?
Thanks
Kelly

tessanne10

Hi Kelly,
Don't worry to much, you need time to adjust to your new body. I still have times where I feel self conscious if I wear something that maybe a little fitted or forming. I also still feel like you do if someone is looking at me or gives me a compliment. I think at least for me the key has been to pamper myself a little bit along the way, to say hey look at what your accomplishing. Yesterday was the first time I had ever had a pedicure and that was terrific. The hubby even liked what they did to my toes, but seriously by doing something for me, shows myself that I have worked hard to get where I am and I am worth it.
The other thing I have been trying to do is get back into reading and I have splurge on a book to read. Just try doing something none food related for yourself where you would have some me time.
Owning the weight loss will come, but your mind and body have to meet up.

minkakross

many programs have a psychologist or therapist as part of the program, it might be a good idea to make an appointment with them and explore this question. I am a mental health therapist myself so when I read your post I want to dig in with questions to explore why, mostly because if you struggle to accept the new you there is a chance you will do things later to sabotage that new you and go back to the old more comfortable one. I myself am not far enough along to know if I will struggle with my results; what I do know is that surgery or not I have worked for every pound either with diet or exercise or both and odds are so have you.

I wish you the best of luck.

Onaughmae

I feel that way a lot. That is part of my "head stuff" that I am currently working on. I know part of my weight problem all these years has been emotional eating. Part of why I think I piled so much fat on my body was to insulate myself from things that were making me unhappy. Once you are losing weight...people are noticing you..and looking at you...so yes, for me it is uncomfortable. There are several good books out there on losing weight and negative body image. Also, if you dont belong to a local or online support group it might be something to consider. My support has been a huge resource to me to help me work out some of these feelings.

You are doing an awesome job! Be proud of what are accomplishing

imakimm

I understand exactly how you feel! I can take compliments what gets me though is when people say how small or little I am...because I am not. I am much smaller then what I was but I am still not small or little. I was talking to a friend the other day and we wear the same size now she was talking about how we can share clothing and stuff. I looked at her like she was out of her mind. I just look at her and look at me and think that she is so much smaller then me. I actually did a double take in the mirror today when shopping. I was walking by a mirror in the store and caught a glance of my side view and was like is that really me? My friend says that I have image issues and I think I agree with her. I think that i need time adjusting to my new body and all the new changes. Everything happened so fast. Not that its a bad thing..i just need some time getting used to things. I'm like that with hair cuts too...I go to a support group that talks a lot about this. I agree with the other suggestions if its something thats try finding a support system. Good luck! :-)

Scribetoo

I don't know if that will ever go away for me..

I sometimes refer to the fat girl in my head.. she doesn't believe in the sincerity of compliments and can't imagine they would be directed at her genuinely.. but it's like you have to take a second.. take a breath.. just smile and say, "thank you." No further explanation is needed unless they ask you.. and telling them more or not is entirely up to you..

YOU know that what you have done hasn't been easy -- and somewhere in your head is that voice that keeps telling you "you took the easy way out!".. stifle that voice with a gracious smile and a genuine thank you..

I never want to be the kind of woman who gets used to compliments.. but I had to consciously change how I reacted to them.

Smile. Thank you. (and by the way, you're doing a great job!!)

Stef

Laura8603

It used to freak me out, too, but it gets better. Just smile and say, "Thanks" and then change the subject. And the comments really do stop eventually. I just blend in now and I like that.

BandForAlyAnne

im the opposite. im almost unwilling to talk about my band, because i feel like there automatic response is "she took the easy way out." or "she didnt do the work" when i feel like ive worked for every pound off. btw, i love compliments. lol

Napjeeper

I've gotten better at just saying thank you and trying to move on, it still makes me uncomfortable 10 years later...

I've only recently really started to embrace the change in my body and started to stop looking at the mirror and seeing a 450lb dude from my past looking back at me. I think my recent exercise and weight loss is helping me boost my ego and mental image of myself because when people say 'you're looking good', I can now credit more than just my surgery, I'm reminded of the work I have to put into it.

It takes time to repair self image, all you can do is take it as it comes and try to see the new person, not the old one you're shedding.