Do men fall in love??
HealthyNFit4Life
Posts: 185 Member
Okay, this might seem like a silly question to some. It's a genuine one though. My friends and I were debating if they do or not, but maybe we are just jaded by men. But, do men fall in love, or are they seeking sex and companionship?? I'm not trying to stereotype that that's what all men are seeking. Let's hear it from the men!!
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Absolutely!0
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They certainly do! :happy:
Many more of the men I know are idealists/romantics under their tough guy exteriors than the women.0 -
To be perfectly upfront, being male, most men (I dare say the vast majority) fall in lust first. It's a male thing because it's a primal instinct for us. Beyond that though, I would also venture to say that most men want to be in a relationship for other reasons such as companionship, but when they meet that one woman that makes them forget all the others and truly mean what they are saying when they take their vows, that's love. But then what do I know, I'm a hopeless romantic.
Woody Allen has a timeless quote:
"Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they fall in love with."0 -
emotions are not limited to one gender.0
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Of course but I think men and women view it differently.
From discussions here it seems that ladies say they want an emotional commitment and bond but to them love is the feeling of euphoria and bliss where they can live in a fantasy world (not saying they do but day dreaming) of Knights in shining armor and houses with white picket fences.
It happens quickly and easily.
To a guy love really is a deep commitment where they say "you are the only one for me" and your life is more important then mine.
It probably will take a while for him to get to that point.
Ladies will get there too but early on with women it is an intense crush and fantasy and for guys it is part that and some (or a lot of) lust.0 -
For my sanity, I hope so.
![:\](https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/resources/emoji/confused.png ":\")
It was my impression that once you fall in love with someone, it's forever. My ex cheated on me and when I found out and confronted him, he said he didn't love me anymore but didn't know how to tell me. -- I know, and we won't even go there. *Shakes head*
But prior to that, we used to fight about sex because I felt like that was the only thing that set him and I apart from me and other guys.. He made it clear to me that it was "just for fun" and that it didn't have an emotional component or meaning beyond the activity itself.
..I was with a real winner, huh? :P0 -
Of course but I think men and women view it differently.
From discussions here it seems that ladies say they want an emotional commitment and bond but to them love is the feeling of euphoria and bliss where they can live in a fantasy world (not saying they do but day dreaming) of Knights in shining armor and houses with white picket fences.
It happens quickly and easily.
To a guy love really is a deep commitment where they say "you are the only one for me" and your life is more important then mine.
It probably will take a while for him to get to that point.
Ladies will get there too but early on with women it is an intense crush and fantasy and for guys it is part that and some (or a lot of) lust.
Many people don't get that ultimately love is about putting someone else first until they are a little older or they have kids. Some do of course, and some never get it. This is more about emotional maturity than gender.
Regardless of level of maturity, falling in love is euphoric. Whether it stays that way is another matter
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Yes they do0
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I don't think it has to really do that much with sex. I think it's completely individual.
Some people let go of their inhibitions faster than others so fall in love more quickly than someone more careful.
The guy I'm dating right now.. if we ever end up together, I think it will probably take him months to say the big L-word.
I almost said it this morning as we were waking up and cuddling, but I was half asleep so I blame that.0 -
I could write a book on love, and how the idealization of what every man and woman dreams it is only to experience it as that which is unattainable. Love is the greatest emotion of all, though often kicked to the side by fear. Fear from the unknown, of the past, and any other negative impact from which one has perceived another has hurt the heart. Having given up on the belief and reality of the strength within Love.
Everyone Loves.0 -
Yes I most certainly do...0
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I may be a bit more "in tune" emotionally than the average guy but I can agree with above posters that we can fall in love equally as hard as women do.0
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I may be a bit more "in tune" emotionally than the average guy but I can agree with above posters that we can fall in love equally as hard as women do.
Fall in love with motorbikes anyways aye dude :laugh:0 -
of course we do0
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Yes, we do. The best way I can describe it is that it is a mix of loyalty and selflessness tied to a fair amount of lust.
Of the women I was in love with (yes, I said it to more than just these women, but I can count the number of true loves on one hand), I still love each of them to this day. I always will. But I know it is both our best interests to not be together. I want them to be happy, healthy and safe.
Some men don't discuss their feelings enough for a woman to know what he is feeling. But on the other hand, most books about love were written by men.0 -
NO0
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Of course but I think men and women view it differently.
From discussions here it seems that ladies say they want an emotional commitment and bond but to them love is the feeling of euphoria and bliss where they can live in a fantasy world (not saying they do but day dreaming) of Knights in shining armor and houses with white picket fences.
It happens quickly and easily.
To a guy love really is a deep commitment where they say "you are the only one for me" and your life is more important then mine.
It probably will take a while for him to get to that point.
I am guessing I am wired more so like a man. Knights in shining armor only exist in fairy tales.I dont need saving. I just want someone that can put with with my crap and I, theirs.0 -
everytime I see a pretty face... 0 -
Of course they do! 0
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No it's just something we say to either get you to stop yelling at us or to get you in bed (or both).
Seriously though, like gerard said I fall in love every time I see a beautiful woman.
Actually seriously we do, it just might take us longer.0 -
Love is a choice and an action we can choose to do or not to do. Love is not so much an emotion. At least it shouldn't be viewed as such.0
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If this is truly a serious question, you and your friends are way too jaded and I wish you luck in getting over that. And wish the poor guys you date even more luck trying to get through that.0
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If this is truly a serious question, you and your friends are way too jaded and I wish you luck in getting over that. And wish the poor guys you date even more luck trying to get through that.
I don't think they are jaded at all. When you and a group of your friends have all been screwed over by guys .. it is a logical question. Someone above mentioned when you find that one that makes you forget all others and marry her .. Yeh .. got married, got cheated on, got divorced. I know many of the divorced women on here have the same story. So ... yeh .. logical question.0 -
I believe they do. I dont think alot of them like it or are ok with it, but they still do.0
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If this is truly a serious question, you and your friends are way too jaded and I wish you luck in getting over that. And wish the poor guys you date even more luck trying to get through that.
I don't think they are jaded at all. When you and a group of your friends have all been screwed over by guys .. it is a logical question. Someone above mentioned when you find that one that makes you forget all others and marry her .. Yeh .. got married, got cheated on, got divorced. I know many of the divorced women on here have the same story. So ... yeh .. logical question.
Actually, that's exactly what jaded means. The question isn't logical at all. It's basically sexist against men at it's core, judging an entire group of HUMAN BEINGS based off of a miniscule sample size of negative experiences. This is prejudice, plain and simple.
Of course men are capable of love. Women are capable of love. After many behavior studies we're finding animals are capable of love. How it's shown and recognized vary based on anything as complex as culture or as simple as individuals are just different. The key is to find the fit for you.0 -
If this is truly a serious question, you and your friends are way too jaded and I wish you luck in getting over that. And wish the poor guys you date even more luck trying to get through that.
I don't think they are jaded at all. When you and a group of your friends have all been screwed over by guys .. it is a logical question. Someone above mentioned when you find that one that makes you forget all others and marry her .. Yeh .. got married, got cheated on, got divorced. I know many of the divorced women on here have the same story. So ... yeh .. logical question.
Actually, that's exactly what jaded means. The question isn't logical at all. It's basically sexist against men at it's core, judging an entire group of HUMAN BEINGS based off of a miniscule sample size of negative experiences. This is prejudice, plain and simple.
Of course men are capable of love. Women are capable of love. After many behavior studies we're finding animals are capable of love. How it's shown and recognized vary based on anything as complex as culture or as simple as individuals are just different. The key is to find the fit for you.
^ this0 -
Just to throw something out there for consideration...
Yes it is anecdotal but a majority of married women I know of don`t now nor did love their husbands when marrying.
Many it was a fear of being alone,some was trying to force a fantasy,others simply thinking being married was a standard to attain and went along with it thinking that it would grow into something perfect.
Very few could be described as being "in love" with the guy...just had reached an acceptable place to them where it was a more comfortable alternative to looking farther.
That isn`t to say that guys are either,I just don`t know because most won`t talk along those lines but my observation is the common thought that women were the ones in the relationship that were emotionally in love is not accurate.0 -
I feel that as easy as men fall in love, it's that easy for them to fall out of love. Or maybe they just hid their emotions a lot better than women. I just went through a really bad break up. Here I am, crying all the time, can't sleep, anxiety has taken over me... meanwhile, he's running my name through the mud, going out meeting other women.....and we just broke up! Sometimes maybe it's their way of coping...but that's so hurtful, especially when they say they want you back, yet they're talking to other women and ex girlfriends. I would have went back to him in a heartbeat because I truly love(d) him. However, the break up is still new and I need to give myself some time to heal and get back into the swing of things as a single woman. I am learning that I do have a big heart, and one day someone will come around and treat it right. Til then, I'm learning how to love myself (which I never did because to me, EVERYONE came first and I came last). This is the time for me to get my life back on track, focus on my career, learn to appreciate life for what it is and to never EVER think that the grass is always greener.0
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I feel that as easy as men fall in love, it's that easy for them to fall out of love. Or maybe they just hid their emotions a lot better than women. I just went through a really bad break up. Here I am, crying all the time, can't sleep, anxiety has taken over me... meanwhile, he's running my name through the mud, going out meeting other women.....and we just broke up! Sometimes maybe it's their way of coping...but that's so hurtful, especially when they say they want you back, yet they're talking to other women and ex girlfriends. I would have went back to him in a heartbeat because I truly love(d) him. However, the break up is still new and I need to give myself some time to heal and get back into the swing of things as a single woman. I am learning that I do have a big heart, and one day someone will come around and treat it right. Til then, I'm learning how to love myself (which I never did because to me, EVERYONE came first and I came last). This is the time for me to get my life back on track, focus on my career, learn to appreciate life for what it is and to never EVER think that the grass is always greener.
I know given what you are going through this is not what you want to hear but that really is a non gender issue,there are men that commit or attempt to commit suicide when their wife leaves them and there are ladies that are incredibly spiteful.
The saying "hell hath no fury as a woman scorned" didn`t come from nowhere.
Very sorry for what you are going through and having to deal with it all,for you regardless of what may happen elsewhere it is a personal hell and that sucks.:flowerforyou:0 -
You're telling me!! He and I were in love with each other. He just showed me love in a very odd way. He's had a very tough life and it's definitely tainted him. But I will no longer be someone's punching bag because they can't deal with their emotions and their past. I'm the soft warm-hearted person, while he is the tough-it-out type. We are day and night.....guess we just aren't compatible, yet we are crazy for each other. What's one to do?? I mean, we are TOTALLY opposites. We have nothing in common except for a few things....religion is something I believe in while he wants no part in it at all....I say something is blue, he says it's red....My head spins from all the emotional stress I endured the past 2 years I was with him.0
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