Losing hope..
RMuske
Posts: 271 Member
After all the relationships, the good and bad dates, the hard break ups I am starting to lose faith that there is someone for everyone. The more of my exs I see get married the more hopeless I become!
What keeps you going when you realize all the people you used to be with are getting married and you are still single?
Is it me?
What keeps you going when you realize all the people you used to be with are getting married and you are still single?
Is it me?
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Replies
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If you desire a relationship I'm sure you'll meet the right person. I personally think some people are better off alone. I doubt someone that wants a relationship would fit into the "better off alone" category though. Stop looking for it and NEVER compare yourself to others. It will happen.0
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Honestly, I just have faith in the concept that my life will turn out the way it was intended to turn out. That's not to say that I don't take credit/blame for my choices and the consequences thereof. I have free will. But I do believe in a grand scheme, so to speak.
I used to think to myself, when I'd see somebody working on his/her 4th or 5th marriage, why does this person get so many tries at marriage, when I haven't even gotten a glimpse of it? Then it hit me that they don't have what I want and likely never will. I don't want to be married for the sake of being married. I don't want to be married so people will finally stop asking if I'm ever going to get married. I want so much more. And I'd rather be single for the rest of my days than to give up on that just so I don't have to be alone. Nothing could be lonelier than being stuck in a marriage with someone I don't really love and who doesn't really love me.0 -
What keeps you going when you realize all the people you used to be with are getting married and you are still single?
That I had a choice and I chose not to marry that person.0 -
After all the relationships, the good and bad dates, the hard break ups I am starting to lose faith that there is someone for everyone. The more of my exs I see get married the more hopeless I become!
What keeps you going when you realize all the people you used to be with are getting married and you are still single?
Is it me?
Well,
One of my ex's got married after dating the guy 12 days, engaged for 4 months and then married. Feb 12th to June 13th. So, I consider myself smart.
No, it's not you.0 -
After all the relationships, the good and bad dates, the hard break ups I am starting to lose faith that there is someone for everyone. The more of my exs I see get married the more hopeless I become!
What keeps you going when you realize all the people you used to be with are getting married and you are still single?
Is it me?
No it's definitely not just you. I've run into that situation many times. To be honest, it never really bothered me until recently. I was always one who enjoy casual dating and never having anything serious. But recently, I've been having the urge to settle down and have something more committed. I sometimes feel like I missed the boat with a handful of my ex's.0 -
Have had that feeling too,especially when you see folks around you break up and then join up with someone else who has broken up and there I stand invisible.
Still though at this point am not going to spend a life of misery for whatever many years it has left.
Age if it doesn`t bring wisdom does bring judgment.0 -
You are still young...
But I do know where you are coming from.0 -
I think this feeling gets worse as you get older. I'm going to be 40 soon and I had a really, really rough decade through my 30s. I want nothing more than to find someone and have a great relationship. I'm tired of the two-three month garbage. It's like your emotions and feelings are on this constant roller coaster. I feel like my heart is getting harder and harder to break into and I don't like that feeling.
But honestly, I live in a bad "dating" area as all the men here have no teeth and are ex drug users... Okay, not all, but many and I'm sure there are plenty of women like that too. It's bad. I'm going to be single forever! LOL :sad:0 -
I think this feeling gets worse as you get older. I'm going to be 40 soon and I had a really, really rough decade through my 30s. I want nothing more than to find someone and have a great relationship. I'm tired of the two-three month garbage. It's like your emotions and feelings are on this constant roller coaster. I feel like my heart is getting harder and harder to break into and I don't like that feeling.
But honestly, I live in a bad "dating" area as all the men here have no teeth and are ex drug users... Okay, not all, but many and I'm sure there are plenty of women like that too. It's bad. I'm going to be single forever! LOL :sad:
Shellee - I am so with you in terms of the area of which I live in. Gang bangers, felons, druggies, etc. Seems like the pickings are slim to none and slim left town. I am sure I will be single forever at this rate and I will be 40 in Aug! UGH0 -
<---- 40 in August too! LOLI think this feeling gets worse as you get older. I'm going to be 40 soon and I had a really, really rough decade through my 30s. I want nothing more than to find someone and have a great relationship. I'm tired of the two-three month garbage. It's like your emotions and feelings are on this constant roller coaster. I feel like my heart is getting harder and harder to break into and I don't like that feeling.
But honestly, I live in a bad "dating" area as all the men here have no teeth and are ex drug users... Okay, not all, but many and I'm sure there are plenty of women like that too. It's bad. I'm going to be single forever! LOL :sad:
Shellee - I am so with you in terms of the area of which I live in. Gang bangers, felons, druggies, etc. Seems like the pickings are slim to none and slim left town. I am sure I will be single forever at this rate and I will be 40 in Aug! UGH0 -
Honey.....I'm feeling the SAME exact way as you....Maybe we should team up.....0
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After all the relationships, the good and bad dates, the hard break ups I am starting to lose faith that there is someone for everyone. The more of my exs I see get married the more hopeless I become!
What keeps you going when you realize all the people you used to be with are getting married and you are still single?
Is it me?
Re-frame your existence. You haven't walked down the aisle with a mistake. You haven't had an arduous divorce with 2 kids and a house to sell in a bad economy.
Look at yourself in the mirror and I think you'll like what you see!0 -
But honestly, I live in a bad "dating" area as all the men here have no teeth
This just made me giggle!!! :laugh: I know its sad, and I'm sorry for laughing, but I just had a vision of a whole town without teeth!!! :laugh:0 -
After all the relationships, the good and bad dates, the hard break ups I am starting to lose faith that there is someone for everyone. The more of my exs I see get married the more hopeless I become!
What keeps you going when you realize all the people you used to be with are getting married and you are still single?
Is it me?
Re-frame your existence. You haven't walked down the aisle with a mistake. You haven't had an arduous divorce with 2 kids and a house to sell in a bad economy.
Look at yourself in the mirror and I think you'll like what you see!
Sound advice David :flowerforyou:0 -
< yeah, because I've done this, and it's not fun... AT.ALL. Oh, but I kept the house and now I have TWO!
Re-frame your existence. You haven't walked down the aisle with a mistake. You haven't had an arduous divorce with 2 kids and a house to sell in a bad economy.
:laugh: 0 -
What HAS kept me going is remembering that I can have a fulfilling, adventurous life even if I'm single, so I've always pushed myself to get comfortable with being alone. I started with the easy things like going to the movies, then dinner, then on vacation, etc... by myself. I've gotten to see the world and not everyone can say that, particularly when they settle down and start a family.
I'd also say I've focused on my career and have done well for myself. I'm comfortable enough to get to go on those vacations and buy what I want within reason.
However, I will admit that lately that hasn't seemed like enough. Lately I find myself thinking that career success just isn't as important. My ideals about the idea of working vs staying home to raise a family suddenly seem different yet because I don't have that option really, it leaves me feeling more down about it...
For now, I'm giving up looking at men's ring fingers to see if they're visibly taken or not (been burned enough to know that is always accurate) and reminding myself that if God has someone planned for me, it'll happen... otherwise I need to let it go and get comfortable with coming home to puppy kisses only!0 -
I have those days sometimes, they used to be a little more prominent a few years ago. But these days I am far more relaxed and just enjoying life and kicking it's *kitten*. Every other part of my life seems to be working out so I figure if love doesn't happen, I have three back up options.
1. Creepy Old Man addicted to Porn and sitting in the corner of the strip club
2. Hookers and Blow
3. Russianbrides.com0 -
Shellee - I am so with you in terms of the area of which I live in. Gang bangers, felons, druggies, etc. Seems like the pickings are slim to none and slim left town. I am sure I will be single forever at this rate and I will be 40 in Aug! UGH
I'm with you too! My area has too many hipsters, hippies, yuppies and others that are addicted to Starbucks.0 -
I have never gone out to a movie by myself.. It is scary! lol0
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Go to a movie! Then take it up a notch and go to dinner by yourself, you can do it!!! There's no reason to put things on hold because you're single.
It's easy to get down when you dwell on the negative. I'm at the age now where I'm seeing couples get divorced. Even though my life might not be perfect, there's a lot I can do and a certain lifestyle I enjoy because I'm single. Married or single there's a tradeoff for each. Enjoy what you have and stay open to the possibility of meeting someone but, don't let the single thing dictate your life.
Just my two cents!0 -
Things never happen when you want them too.. in fact, things happen at the most random part of your life when you at least expect it. I'll be honest.. patience really suck... but once you grasp that concept and you start living for you and not worry about being alone or single.. it'll happen. Enjoy the single life....I am.0
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I have never gone out to a movie by myself.. It is scary! lol
It's easy... and you always get to go to the movie you want to see!0 -
I pretty much lost hope a long time ago. I've recently met a bunch of different women, some I met online, one I met at a bar, and one was sort of a fix up. They were all really cool and attractive, I just don't really have feelings for any of them. I think I'm broken. And the ones that I actually do like once in a blue moon just aren't into me. Oh well, I'm still having fun trying.0
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I pretty much lost hope a long time ago. I've recently met a bunch of different women, some I met online, one I met at a bar, and one was sort of a fix up. They were all really cool and attractive, I just don't really have feelings for any of them. I think I'm broken. And the ones that I actually do like once in a blue moon just aren't into me. Oh well, I'm still having fun trying.
Oh, please don't say that... I don't really know you, but you seem pretty cool, so if you're broken, I'm in trouble! Maybe you're just manstrating although it isn't quite the middle of the month... sorry , had to say it
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I pretty much lost hope a long time ago. I've recently met a bunch of different women, some I met online, one I met at a bar, and one was sort of a fix up. They were all really cool and attractive, I just don't really have feelings for any of them. I think I'm broken. And the ones that I actually do like once in a blue moon just aren't into me. Oh well, I'm still having fun trying.
Same. I'm really unexcited about it all.
I have lost my mojo0 -
I pretty much lost hope a long time ago. I've recently met a bunch of different women, some I met online, one I met at a bar, and one was sort of a fix up. They were all really cool and attractive, I just don't really have feelings for any of them. I think I'm broken. And the ones that I actually do like once in a blue moon just aren't into me. Oh well, I'm still having fun trying.
Same. I'm really unexcited about it all.
I have lost my mojo
Awwww, don't say that Dave & Nat!! :sad: I rely on you guys to keep us all positive and hopeful :bigsmile:
There's someone for everyone!! Just a case of finding him/her!!
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Ha! No if I was manstrating I would have said something like "I suck at life and nobody likes me, waaa!" I'm actually quite content with the whole thing. Just seems weird because I used to fall for people really easily, now not so much. I guess I'm just growing up.I pretty much lost hope a long time ago. I've recently met a bunch of different women, some I met online, one I met at a bar, and one was sort of a fix up. They were all really cool and attractive, I just don't really have feelings for any of them. I think I'm broken. And the ones that I actually do like once in a blue moon just aren't into me. Oh well, I'm still having fun trying.
Oh, please don't say that... I don't really know you, but you seem pretty cool, so if you're broken, I'm in trouble! Maybe you're just manstrating although it isn't quite the middle of the month... sorry , had to say it0 -
Lol!
I'm not going to lie, I'm pretty positive about other people finding it, for me though it's pretty much loserville, population me! I'm sucking at online stuff a the moment. I was like dating a different girl every month last year, sometimes weeks. Now, nothing. Maybe here is a sire dontdatenat.com somewhere haha.
I feel pretty broken, considering the girl I took home on the weekend, I didn't even sleep with her... One night stands aren't my thing.. So...Not sure why I even did take her home. Random fact. Lol0 -
Well I have a perspective from the other end of a long and bad marriage. I recall when I was in my 20s I felt like you did. I was so terrified that I wouldn't ever get married. I had a good education but not a good career. When I met my future husband, I made a lot of compromises and a lot of excuses. I was really insecure, he was older and established. We did have a lot of fun, but I think my insecurities and fear of being alone kept me from seeing the warning signs and had me compromising on things I should not have. Now, after 20 years...two wonderful boys, some good times and experiences but living with a man with control and anger issues gives me perfect hindsight:
It IS better to be alone than to be in a soul sucking abusive relationship. It is better for you. It is better for your future children.
What I would do in your shoes is live my life passionately. I would throw myself into my career. I would look for opportunities to live in new places. I would travel. I would travel A LOT. I would have adventures...scuba diving, hiking, skiing...whatever floats your boat. I would NOT wait to start my life until I had a partner.
Quit looking at your life through the lens of what you don't have that you want right now...namely a relationship. Look at your life as a possibility.
Being tied to my soul-sucking ex via our kids is keeping me from doing that. Embrace your freedom and live an awesome life. I'd wager you will find someone along the way. But don't ever ever ever compromise on the important stuff.0 -
I have lost my mojo
My cat's name is Mojo...and he's sitting right here! 0
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