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Afraid to leave the house/Afraid of people making fun of me

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christicake
christicake Posts: 17 Member
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So I end up sitting at home until it is time to do something I absolutely have to do. I usually eat because I am worried, I think, but that surely feeds the problem. I just hate when people make fun of me or look at me a certain way. I feel awful because I know I have no life because I am overweight. Maybe this is just me being sensitive and I don't know... :cry: I guess I don't understand it all. I am sad and scared. I recently was so reluctant to leave my apartment that I missed something important. I feel like my fat is controlling me. I workout all the time lately and am really trying hard. I gained so much weight when I was on steroids for 8 months and it was so discouraging. :(( Anyway, I just wanted to know if anyone else has this problem or can relate or has advice?

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  • anawhatsme
    anawhatsme Posts: 261 Member
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    hi.
    i used to worry what people thought way too much.
    i still care too much about what others think, but definitely less than before.
    i think you have to just go for it.
    live your life and if people are rude or laugh or whatever, you can't let it have power over you.
    don't let life pass you by!
  • christicake
    christicake Posts: 17 Member
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    hi.
    i used to worry what people thought way too much.
    i still care too much about what others think, but definitely less than before.
    i think you have to just go for it.
    live your life and if people are rude or laugh or whatever, you can't let it have power over you.
    don't let life pass you by!

    Thank you for the encouragement. <3
  • kerbear48185
    kerbear48185 Posts: 35 Member
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    Hi!
    I get a lot of stares, people laughing, and children pointing and making comments (parents looking away with embarrasment) when I go out. It hurts me and when I'm not feeling good about myself it makes me angry. Sometimes I lash out, sometimes I keep my feelings inside. I don't get why people think it's ok to be cruel and bully others. But what I do know is that I cannot control what others say or do and I cannot let them control me. I have had times when I have stayed in the house, cocooned in my little place of comfort, but the result was more weight gain, lower self-esteem, and deeper depression.

    The truth is, I am so deeply affected by what people say about me when I am out because I AM UNCOMFORTABLE WITH MYSELF. If I felt secure from within, what others said about me would not be as painful. I know this is true, because in other areas of my life where people try to put me down, I am able to easily deflect their insults with little effort.

    So my solution is to keep going out. To try to get even more involved in life. To face people and my fears of rejection and criticism, rather than numbing them with food. To tell myself that I am worthy and I have something to offer. I have nothing to prove, and I don't owe anything to anyone but myself. And what I owe to myself is to get out here and make my contribution and connect with people while I still can. Tomorrow is not promised, so all I have is today. If I hide away, not only do I avoid the nasty people, but I also lose out on the (possibly life changing) good in all the other people I have not given myself a chance to meet. The risk of rejection is worth the reward of connection.
    - KerBear
  • lauries3
    lauries3 Posts: 68 Member
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    Being a single mother I have to work outside of my home and I go to church. I do not do anything social and just stay home. I too hatet the way I feel and the way I look. At times I feel hopeless. When I do go to work or church I constantly worry about how I look in my clothes and get paranoid. But those things I have to do. I had company this weekend and had a graduation my daughters to go to and finding something to wear was horrible. Not to be mean but it made me feel better that my college friends had put on weight also. I think that it is amazing that you work out. I don't even do that because I have no energy all the time, and I know that that has alot to do with my weight. Please do not feel bad, there is always someone worse than you and I am sure that you will get through this with support and ecouragement from others that are on this sight. If you need a buddy I am here.
  • Themuseinme
    Themuseinme Posts: 224 Member
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    hang in there and be nice to yourself.
    Ive been there and done that, gained so much that i had isolated myself and was so overwhelmed too from the amount that i needed to lose that i didnt start,but i finally did.I hope what ever caused your need for steroids is now better. and am proud of you that you are trying again.also although ive had similiar thoughts in my head, i realize that people probably arent saying bad things, and any who do arent worth distressing over, as they are just mean judgemental people. Let them think their stinkin thoughts-and let it all hang out. I recently read somewhere that people who jduge others the most are usually equally hard on themselves, so these folks are miserable. Love yourself and be gentle to yourself. No more STINKIN THINKIN
  • christicake
    christicake Posts: 17 Member
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    So my solution is to keep going out. To try to get even more involved in life. To face people and my fears of rejection and criticism, rather than numbing them with food. To tell myself that I am worthy and I have something to offer. I have nothing to prove, and I don't owe anything to anyone but myself. And what I owe to myself is to get out here and make my contribution and connect with people while I still can. Tomorrow is not promised, so all I have is today. If I hide away, not only do I avoid the nasty people, but I also lose out on the (possibly life changing) good in all the other people I have not given myself a chance to meet. The risk of rejection is worth the reward of connection.
    - KerBear

    I just teared up. This is such amazing advice. Thank you so much.
  • christicake
    christicake Posts: 17 Member
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    Let them think their stinkin thoughts-and let it all hang out. I recently read somewhere that people who jduge others the most are usually equally hard on themselves, so these folks are miserable. Love yourself and be gentle to yourself. No more STINKIN THINKIN

    So true! And when did being in public become a beauty contest anyway!! :P
  • rudypuck
    rudypuck Posts: 3 Member
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    You remind me of me. Single mom of two teenagers (eldest graduating this month). Don't want to go out. I have NOTHING to wear and people think I don't care about my appearance. It must be so embarressing for my kids. I work full time and then come home and sit on this corner of the couch. My kids call it my "nest" I need to change. Get my act together. I need to care more about myself. these groups are a great idea. i think it will help me. happy to be a new member!
  • chocl8girl
    chocl8girl Posts: 1,968 Member
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    *(*(*(*hugs*)*)*)* I have been there. I still feel that way sometimes. I've had people yell things at me from their car or house (I didn't wear red for over 10 years after someone yelled "Hey, Kool-Aid" out of their window at me when I was wearing a red shirt).

    BUT...the only way to start moving forward is not necessarily to just go outside, that won't solve anything. You need to GO INSIDE yourself and start figuring out what is going on, what you want, and how are you going to finally start being who you were meant to be, and not what everyone else thinks you should be.

    You CAN do it. You are beautiful. You are strong. You are WORTH IT. <3
  • Fitfortat
    Fitfortat Posts: 47
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    Nobody in this world is perfect! Those that say hurtful things to others are only hiding their own insecurity. DO NOT give up your life and let them defeat you. You are beautiful and wonderful and fully deserving of every thing that life has to offer you. You are not a victim of others! So hold your head high, get out the door and live! Please do not spend your life hiding because of your weight, its not worth it. Gather people around you who will adore you for the person that you are and will support you in this journey. The weight will not come off overnight, but if you don't get your butt out of the house and live, it will never come off at all. Add me, I"m a great buttkicker, as long as you don't mind kicking mine when I need it also!! EAT LESS, MOVE MORE, SMILE OFTEN AND LIVE FULLY!!
  • econut2000
    econut2000 Posts: 395 Member
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    I realized I feel the same way you do this weekend. I have neurological problems that really take a toll on my health and generally I am unable to go out because of it. But this weekend my next door neighbor invited me to a party he was having and I wanted to go but I didn't even though I was feeling pretty well. I kept peeking out my windows at the people at the party!!! I'm ashamed of all the weight I've gained and don't feel comfortable in my body plus the walker I have to use doesn't help matters. People LOVE to stare at the walker -- I once had an "adult" yell granny to me across a parking lot. I've always been a shy person but I was able to put that aside in the past. I used to teach college even and was never nervous. It's absolutely debilitating to feel this way about myself. I hope for both of us, we each get some confidence back and soon!!!!!
  • anawhatsme
    anawhatsme Posts: 261 Member
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    i LOVE this!!!!
    so glad you shared!!
    Hi!
    I get a lot of stares, people laughing, and children pointing and making comments (parents looking away with embarrasment) when I go out. It hurts me and when I'm not feeling good about myself it makes me angry. Sometimes I lash out, sometimes I keep my feelings inside. I don't get why people think it's ok tio be cruel and bully others. But what I do know is that I cannot control what others say or do and I cannot let them control me. I have had times when I have stayed in the house, cocooned in my little place of comfort, but the result was more weight gain, lower self-esteem, and deeper depression.

    The truth is, I am so deeply affected by what people say about me when I am out because I AM UNCOMFORTABLE WITH MYSELF. If I felt secure from within, what others said about me would not be as painful. I know this is true, because in other areas of my life where people try to put me down, I am able to easily deflect their insults with little effort.

    So my solution is to keep going out. To try to get even more involved in life. To face people and my fears of rejection and criticism, rather than numbing them with food. To tell myself that I am worthy and I have something to offer. I have nothing to prove, and I don't owe anything to anyone but myself. And what I owe to myself is to get out here and make my contribution and connect with people while I still can. Tomorrow is not promised, so all I have is today. If I hide away, not only do I avoid the nasty people, but I also lose out on the (possibly life changing) good in all the other people I have not given myself a chance to meet. The risk of rejection is worth the reward of connection.
    - KerBear

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