Dating
Z_I_L_L_A
Posts: 2,399 Member
I miss dating...Haven't dated in 4 years, so focused on taking care of my kids. They are older now so maybe its time to date again.
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Same. Other than one short dating experience (not so great either), I haven't dated in a couple of years. I am consumed with taking care of my child, church (Sunday and Wednesday), working a full-time desk job and as a consultant for Pampered Chef and trying to make myself find time for the gym. I would love to have someone in my life, but I honestly dont even know where to begin seeing as I am always busy.0
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Full time single parents, its a struggle to do it all let alone find time for yourself. I would work out and catch someones eye and just look away because I didn't have the time to start something I could finish. I miss the adult companionship and a little romance wouldn't hurt. "Liz, everybody needs a love affair in Bali" lol So pathetic to quote Eat,Prey,Love. But its true romance brings you back to life I think.
Oh yeah heres another quote: You don't need a man, Liz. You need a champion!0 -
Full time single parents, its a struggle to do it all let alone find time for yourself. I would work out and catch someones eye and just look away because I didn't have the time to start something I could finish. I miss the adult companionship and a little romance wouldn't hurt. "Liz, everybody needs a love affair in Bali" lol So pathetic to quote Eat,Prey,Love. But its true romance brings you back to life I think.
I can completely agree with this. I LOVE spending time with my daughter. However, having someone to go to dinner or a movie with or even just sit at home a enjoy each other's company would be nice. I think it is only natural to miss the romantic aspect of being in a relationship.0 -
Big Z!
I know what you mean. It's taken me 3 years to get back out there. My kids are 13 and 10 now. It was too hard when they were younger. I crave adult conversation and companionship. We really aren't designed to be alone.0 -
So you like my avitar? Fathers day coming up and thought I'd put one up.0
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So you like my avitar? Fathers day coming up and thought I'd put one up.
It is absolutely stunning!
Wish I had something like that with my girls.0 -
I stole the pic of a website. I remember when mine were that tiny. I wish I had one like that blown up.0
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I think about dating and it immediately exhausts me. I think I'm just gonna go with the flow and if something happens cool, if not, then I'm not exactly going to complain about cuddling up with my cats to read a book
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Good place for me to start since every woman in America is going to watch Magic Mike. I will be the only guy watching this movie. They say why are you going to a female movie. I'm like dude think about what you are saying. 100's of women in a theater and me the only guy there. :laugh:0
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I think about dating and it immediately exhausts me. I think I'm just gonna go with the flow and if something happens cool, if not, then I'm not exactly going to complain about cuddling up with my cats to read a book
That's me to except swap cat and book with motorbike and guitar :laugh:0 -
Good place for me to start since every woman in America is going to watch Magic Mike. I will be the only guy watching this movie. They say why are you going to a female movie. I'm like dude think about what you are saying. 100's of women in a theater and me the only guy there. :laugh:
I don't know WTF Magic Mike is BUT I recall you mentioning getting back out there when we first became MFP friends (cough cough) so no time like the present handsome! And yeah, you're totally going to snag some single mom friends with your new profile pic...it's a little sweet tough guy. 0 -
Dating is TIRING!! So many dates, and suddenly it feels like you're interviewing the person....Like someone else said on here...I'm just gonna go with the flow and if something were to happen, then great!!! If not, I'm going to keep on doing what I've been doing...working on improving myself from the inside out.......0
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I've avoided dating quite frankly for a long time, but I had the wrong attitude so it wasn't worth getting out there. I'm working on fixing that so I'm stepping back out online a little hesitantly but having learned a lot more about myself and what I should be looking for.
Oh, and yes, Magic Mike will be filled with women... my friends and I have started planning girl's night out centered around going to that movie, OMG!!!0 -
I don't think dating is work, but I think relationships are when it gets to that point, especially with kids. I'm trying to stay positive about it. You just have to think big picture and remember what you've always wanted for yourself (prior to anything bad happening like a divorce). If being married or in a relationship is ultimately what you want in life you're going to have to work at it. Anything I've really wanted in life that I've accomplished required effort and was worth the effort in the end.
Thinking big picture has always helped me get motivated to get back out there because it reminds me of why I married to begin with: to have a family to come home to. I'd prefer not to let one person or one bad experience take that away, but that experience definitely shaped my way forward. I'm definitely more on guard and see the flags up front so dating is a different experience now. I definitely avoided some repeats though so I'm proud of that.
I think I officially just gave myself a pep talk so hopefully this helps someone! :drinker:0 -
I miss my motorbike more than I miss relationships almost... Such a pleasure to ride, and so less complicated than relationships. :mad:
That's me to except swap cat and book with motorbike and guitar :laugh:I think about dating and it immediately exhausts me. I think I'm just gonna go with the flow and if something happens cool, if not, then I'm not exactly going to complain about cuddling up with my cats to read a book0 -
Kinda of off topic a little but Its so funny in this group how young single people can give advice to someone much older and much wiser. Its kinda like working out, people on here give advice after only being on this site for a little while and working out for 5 minutes are now an authority to give advice. What works for someone in their 20's, never married with no kids doesn't necessarily work for someone who is in his forty's,divorced and a full time father. If you haven't been there or done that its probably better to just listen for now. People who think they know it all will never learn anything else because of that. Being wise is what you learn after you think you know it all.0
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I am the same... although I don't miss the Dating part as much as the companionship. I have yet to be on a date since I separated from my Husband over a year and a half ago. Mostly I haven't been interested in someone enough that was interested back to want to take that step and actually meet them. I've been on POF and Match for a while and still just not connecting. I don't want to settle just because I'm lonely. I have friends and my daughters, and the rest of my family to keep me busy most of the time so its not so lonely!0
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Same here...Just haven't done single sites. If love finds me then great but I'm not going to burn myself out looking for it.0
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Dating is completely exhausting. I have given up dating sites, now I am going to focus on me. We can stumble into a potential partner anywhere. Gym, walking anywhere, stores, etc. I think the more emphasis we put on it, the more tiring (and frustrating) it can be.
BTW Z I
the Avi - warms my heart!! 0 -
Kinda of off topic a little but Its so funny in this group how young single people can give advice to someone much older and much wiser. Its kinda like working out, people on here give advice after only being on this site for a little while and working out for 5 minutes are now an authority to give advice. What works for someone in their 20's, never married with no kids doesn't necessarily work for someone who is in his forty's,divorced and a full time father. If you haven't been there or done that its probably better to just listen for now. People who think they know it all will never learn anything else because of that. Being wise is what you learn after you think you know it all.
This^^ I am not in my forties but I still have all of my single, never married, child-free friends trying to tell me how they think I should just get out there and meet someone. I have a child, a home and a career to focus on. I cannot be out trolling the bars and the supermarkets everyday hoping to bump into mr perfect. It just doesn't work that way for me.0 -
I've asked my grandfather to provide you dating advice. He should be contacting you soon... :laugh:Kinda of off topic a little but Its so funny in this group how young single people can give advice to someone much older and much wiser. Its kinda like working out, people on here give advice after only being on this site for a little while and working out for 5 minutes are now an authority to give advice. What works for someone in their 20's, never married with no kids doesn't necessarily work for someone who is in his forty's,divorced and a full time father. If you haven't been there or done that its probably better to just listen for now. People who think they know it all will never learn anything else because of that. Being wise is what you learn after you think you know it all.
Perhaps I should add a disclaimer at the end of my posts (since I indeed post and provide advice from time to time) to say:
"What works for someone in their 20's, never married with no kids doesn't necessarily work for someone who is in his forty's,divorced and a full time father." Although I thought it was kind of obvious and I think it might get a bit boring to do this repeatedly...
To be perfectly honest with you though, I think most people will listen to the advice they want, and that's how it should be... So I think there is no harm done if the younger crowd posts advice as well.0 -
Kinda of off topic a little but Its so funny in this group how young single people can give advice to someone much older and much wiser. Its kinda like working out, people on here give advice after only being on this site for a little while and working out for 5 minutes are now an authority to give advice. What works for someone in their 20's, never married with no kids doesn't necessarily work for someone who is in his forty's,divorced and a full time father. If you haven't been there or done that its probably better to just listen for now. People who think they know it all will never learn anything else because of that. Being wise is what you learn after you think you know it all.
Sorry man but this is dumb! I think this group works great because there is such a variety... from virgin to 3 failed marriages. Everyone is different and just because you have a larger # (age) doesn't mean you have lived a larger life.0 -
True^ and just because you can open your mouth and reveal your true knowledge of what little bit of life you've experienced doesn't mean you should.0
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Dude, here is a suggestion for you: create a new group that you call "Single Peeps 40+!" and just give us a break.True^ and just because you can open your mouth and reveal your true knowledge of what little bit of life you've experienced doesn't mean you should.
Thank you, goodbye and have fun with your friends!0 -
Kinda of off topic a little but Its so funny in this group how young single people can give advice to someone much older and much wiser. Its kinda like working out, people on here give advice after only being on this site for a little while and working out for 5 minutes are now an authority to give advice. What works for someone in their 20's, never married with no kids doesn't necessarily work for someone who is in his forty's,divorced and a full time father. If you haven't been there or done that its probably better to just listen for now. People who think they know it all will never learn anything else because of that. Being wise is what you learn after you think you know it all.
Sorry man but this is dumb! I think this group works great because there is such a variety... from virgin to 3 failed marriages. Everyone is different and just because you have a larger # (age) doesn't mean you have lived a larger life.
I agree with poncho. Although I am only 25 years old and have yet to live any of my life yet, this group works really well because of the diversity.
You have to think, some people are good at dating. They're naturally people people. Some people are better at relationships because that's just who they are. Some people are always gonna be socially awkward or suck at relationships no matter how old they are.
If finding love is truly important to you, but you're not doing it because of having kids and bills to pay, then you're just making up excuses.
Same thing as the excuses we all make when we put on extra weight. "Oh, I just don't have time to go to the gym."
"Oh, I just don't have time to meet people. I have more important things."
Well good, stay that way. If you're not going to put effort into a relationship and use your responsibilities as an excuse, then you're not ready.0 -
Uh...okay oh wise one <bow>. I have to admit, I have no clue what type of advice you're talking about. But just because you're older, divorced, and have kids doesn't make you an expert on everything (or anything). Take my advice, don't be so closed minded.Kinda of off topic a little but Its so funny in this group how young single people can give advice to someone much older and much wiser. Its kinda like working out, people on here give advice after only being on this site for a little while and working out for 5 minutes are now an authority to give advice. What works for someone in their 20's, never married with no kids doesn't necessarily work for someone who is in his forty's,divorced and a full time father. If you haven't been there or done that its probably better to just listen for now. People who think they know it all will never learn anything else because of that. Being wise is what you learn after you think you know it all.0 -
It's been almost six years since I dated, most of three in a relationship, most of three alone. Ugh! I so don't want to date again! I wish I had one of my friends with benefits back, but you know the problem with them, just when you realize how great a setup that is, they all get married on you! And I don't share, and I don't take what belongs to someone else.
So meh. Tired of being alone, but so don't want to date!0 -
So Im in my 30's divorced with kids. I love this group the way it is I love the view point of people who are at different ages.... BTW I have a full time job 2 kids and I still go out. I'm not good at dating but I'm great at hanging out and flirting lol..... I also juggle well....0
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Kinda of off topic a little but Its so funny in this group how young single people can give advice to someone much older and much wiser. Its kinda like working out, people on here give advice after only being on this site for a little while and working out for 5 minutes are now an authority to give advice. What works for someone in their 20's, never married with no kids doesn't necessarily work for someone who is in his forty's,divorced and a full time father. If you haven't been there or done that its probably better to just listen for now. People who think they know it all will never learn anything else because of that. Being wise is what you learn after you think you know it all.
I dont really know if this came across the way you meant it, but it sounds very patronising and very narrow minded.
Age is not necessarily indicative of wisdom!!
And as for experience: I'm 48 and never been married. Yet Ashley is 25 and married twice!! So age isn't indicative of experience either!!
I think everyone should have a voice in this world. You can learn something from a 5 year old! Opinions can be based on anything: individual experience, a friend/parents experience, or society as whole, from logic or values/morals, what continent you live on, what race/religion/creed you are,reading a book......whatever!! Everyone, for whatever reason, is entitled to their opinion.
Up to you if you choose to read/listen or not :flowerforyou:0 -
I have recently decided to jump back into the dating scene after a hiatus. I work a lot, but I have the time for a man ya know? Good luck to all of you out there!0
