Online dating profile critiques?
atjays
Posts: 797 Member
I'd venture to bet a lot of us have profiles on various sites. I personally am puzzled why I seem to get ok traffic but rarely responses to messages. I'm sure I'm not the only one. Just seeing if people would be interested in posting their profiles and being open to what others think, I'd really really like to finally get some dates.
http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=40480386
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/arden714
http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=40480386
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/arden714
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Replies
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I don't see anything wrong it it... heck i'd msg ya!
Maybe it's your initiation - how do you go about saying hello to someone of interest?0 -
Hey mate did you ever hear back from that one girl we chatted about?0
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Haha we are pretty much exact same stats, height, star sign, education, job type.
Stick a photo up from one of your track days up there, some girls will think it's hot. At least interesting, shows your into some exciting stuff. Try and create some mystery... I'm not sure exactly sure how just now but it'll come to me0 -
A-#1 turnoff in my book is a profile full of horrible spelling and worse grammar, and you already have that covered so... I'm with ZombieChaser. What do these ignored messages typically say?0
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looks fine to me.:-)
i don't message guys often, but when i do, i never ever hear back. and i don't just send a "Hi!" i usually ask something, or make a comment.
so, i'm probably NOT the best person to be responding.0 -
I'll find a decent pic of me at the track, I have plenty. And no that chick never messaged back.
I usually reference something we have in common, like music or place we've both traveled to as well as ask 1-2 questions about things they were vague on, such as what they are going to college for or what sports they claim to be interested in. Just simple basic stuff.
The kicker is the handful of messages I've gotten from random girls are something like "Hi" or "how are you?" ... I mean cmon...0 -
She never really had much going for her judging by her profile apart from being cute as hell.
I don't often send out emails (I'm on a paid site) but I write a little bit moe than that, not a life story but I give the, something to read about me, whilst asking questions about them. I always leave them with like a little hook, maybe something cheeky, flirty, that they will hopefully make them laugh, flirt back if I'm lucky. Open form questions no closed ones!0 -
As sad as it is, I'm sure 90% of even getting viewed and a response comes down to your pictures. So I'm scratching my head there, I really don't think girls take the time to thoroughly read a profile. I was under the impression that leaving a bit of mystery or vagueness would prompt questions and conversation. I feel if I got too specific with my life/interests that they would be more likely to identify with 1 thing they despise and move on anyways. Am I wrong in this thinking?0
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It's definitely not your photos because you're totally hot. Are you messaging girls that say they are looking for a relationship? Your profile clearly states "nothing serious". Just be sure the girls you message are like minded. But yeah, I'd message you back....if I was only 7 years younger! LOL0
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it's not the pics. you are HOT!!!0
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It works the same the other way around. OKC Trends blog actually did a study on this. The findings are ridiculous, and so interesting. The data nerd in me loved it!
Here's the link to the study:
http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-mathematics-of-beauty/
First they found that "a hot woman receives roughly 4× the messages an average-looking woman gets, and 25× as many as an ugly one". Okay, no-brainer there. So, they plotted the number of messages a user gets based on several factors. It gets really interesting from there.
If you have a minute, read it. I'm sure it works the same way with men.
BTW, there's absolutely nothing wrong with your profile. I'd write you
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Yup. I'm with the OP. I'm on Match. My profile ID is Silver070910 for those who want to take a peek... Always looking for input. Though I will probably cancel as my membership is coming up for renewal.0
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I'm the same way man. I have a pretty decent and well written profile. It takes about 20 emails to get 1 message. I wouldn't get too bent out of shape over it. A lot of women on that website probably get a lot of emails and will probably take a long time to get to yours and perhaps mistakenly skip yours.
I NEVER GET any responses on POF.. but I do okay on OKC.. Again, you have to send out a lot.0 -
Odd. I've gotten some chats started on POF. Which is more than I can say for Match, even though I try way harder on Match.
Ok there was one girl I found on match who I was completely into. I sent a short intro message to try to catch her attention. She reads it, sees my profile, then nothing. 2 days later, I made attempt #2. I sent a really long message stating my case, haha. She reads it, then nothing. I gave up there.
All I can say is what the hell, can't take 30 seconds to send a reply saying no thanks at least? Where is the decency? After my effort? Bah.0 -
You're right, it's 90% pics and I think you could improve a bit on your pics. It's not your face though (As sad as it is, I'm sure 90% of even getting viewed and a response comes down to your pictures. So I'm scratching my head there, I really don't think girls take the time to thoroughly read a profile. I was under the impression that leaving a bit of mystery or vagueness would prompt questions and conversation. I feel if I got too specific with my life/interests that they would be more likely to identify with 1 thing they despise and move on anyways. Am I wrong in this thinking?
), it's probably more the context.
I'd remove the picture of my mum, it's cute and all but I find it cheesy. Add a few more pics of you doing stuff, having fun, partying maybe... Stuff that shows that you're out there from time to time, and like to have a good time. Maybe some cool pics of you on your motorbike (where we can see your face with a big smile?).
Yes, leaving a bit of mystery and vagueness helps, so you're spot on here. Don't go more specific indeed. I'd say one thing: you say you're a "funny guy", so maybe show it?
Something like "My job, which I love, is to shave baboons' bottoms." and a few more stupid things like that. It's probably easier for a girl to pick on this and message you than it is on "serious stuff".
Also, you can have a stupid picture of you wearing an obvious accessory like a pink hat or something stupid.
People want to have fun, they don't want to message you about your job (except when it involves shaving baboons' @sses amazingly)
That said, I'm terrible at online dating (and yes, the message sent/reply received ratio is terrible, so I focus my efforts elsewhere).0 -
I'll find a decent pic of me at the track, I have plenty. And no that chick never messaged back.
I usually reference something we have in common, like music or place we've both traveled to as well as ask 1-2 questions about things they were vague on, such as what they are going to college for or what sports they claim to be interested in. Just simple basic stuff.
The kicker is the handful of messages I've gotten from random girls are something like "Hi" or "how are you?" ... I mean cmon...
Can't see your profile as it's blocked at work, but you sound like you're doing the right things! I have to say I don't reply to a 1/2 words message - one guy just wrote "beautiful" what? I am, you are, the weather today is???
I try and reply quickly, but if I'm not next to my phone I miss the alert! OKC has been a lot better than POF, I have yet to get a "u rrrrrrrr hottttt" message on there. Which is nice!0 -
Last night I got a very interesting message!
I mean, how does one respond to this?
"let's just *kitten* tonight. I am 30 minutes from (insert my town)."
I thought about responses for a couple minutes, but couldn't come up w a great one.....
I did message a guy last night that did end up responding. He said something like " you see my pictures, you tell me what you notice first". So, I did. Maybe try something like that??0 -
I never had much luck with OKCupid, I didn't find that many girls I actually had things in common with, and the few I was actually able to engage in conversation were very blah.
I've actually been doing alright lately on Match. I condensed my profile to make it short and sweet and added a couple more recent photos. Maybe girls are digging the beard. My user name is the same over there if anyone wants to check it out.
I have a few sort of rules I live by:
I never email anyone that hasn't logged in for a few weeks. Within a day or two is preferred.
The first email is usually short, with a comment specific to their profile, and I usually try to make a funny or playful comment and ask some sort of open ended question.
I don't compliment them on how pretty they are in their photos, not at first at least.
I try not to come on too strong too fast, but that comes naturally these days.0 -
"let's just *kitten* tonight. I am 30 minutes from (insert my town)."
I thought about responses for a couple minutes, but couldn't come up w a great one.....
Should of told him Great and to meet you in the second stall of the men's restroom at random highway rest stop.
When you don't show up, I am sure he'll be able to meet someone to cater to his desires.0 -
I'm going to agree and say I see nothing fundamentally wrong with your profile. You're attractive and can articulate a complete sentence so you're already ahead of the game! haha. I will agree with the poster that said something about messaging users that aren't looking for anything serious as well. I had that on my profile as well but I did put that while I wasn't particularly looking to jump into a relationship, if things naturally progressed to that then I would be open to it. I went on a date with one guy and he was ready to call me his girlfriend...needless to say that didn't go over well. :noway: Anyways I wish you luck!0
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Fab!! Just what I need!! I'll be posting mine for a critique when i get home!!0
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It's definitely not your photos because you're totally hot. Are you messaging girls that say they are looking for a relationship? Your profile clearly states "nothing serious". Just be sure the girls you message are like minded. But yeah, I'd message you back....if I was only 7 years younger! LOL
^^ This and then again me I would think he is super hot and he would not be interested in me lol0 -
You're right, it's 90% pics and I think you could improve a bit on your pics. It's not your face though ( ), it's probably more the context.
I'd remove the picture of my mum, it's cute and all but I find it cheesy. Add a few more pics of you doing stuff, having fun...
Agreed. I'm severely lacking these. Im usually the photographer in my group of friends and end up behind the lenses instead of in front of it... I'll get some better ones in the next couple weeks0 -
Hey - I`d love to get some advice on my profile!
I`m on OKC and my handle is politicschic
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/politicschic
I`d love some honest feedback. Don`t bother sparing my feelings 0 -
I'd venture to bet a lot of us have profiles on various sites. I personally am puzzled why I seem to get ok traffic but rarely responses to messages. I'm sure I'm not the only one. Just seeing if people would be interested in posting their profiles and being open to what others think, I'd really really like to finally get some dates.
http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=40480386
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/arden714
I was gonna add you as a friend on here, but you're one of those elitists who think you need a message, and well, I don't write messages.
Try changing your profile picture up, might help.0 -
I'd venture to bet a lot of us have profiles on various sites. I personally am puzzled why I seem to get ok traffic but rarely responses to messages. I'm sure I'm not the only one. Just seeing if people would be interested in posting their profiles and being open to what others think, I'd really really like to finally get some dates.
http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=40480386
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/arden714
I was gonna add you as a friend on here, but you're one of those elitists who think you need a message, and well, I don't write messages.
Try changing your profile picture up, might help.
You typing that garbage took more effort than typing 1 sentence in a friend request, go figure. Take your attitude problem elsewhere.0 -
The only "red flag" I see is that in your POF profile, you say you want to date but want nothing serious. To me, that screams "I want sex and that's it." If that is your intent, great. But if not, change it to something else because that is the vibe you are putting off. But otherwise I think it is fine!Maybe girls are digging the beard. My user name is the same over there if anyone wants to check it out.
Just creeped you lol, and I gotta say that I am really digging the beard. I think it is a really good look on you and you should keep it!! 0 -
I'm not an expert, but I do have a little feedback that you can take or leave.
Your profile reads like a resume. It sounds like it is describing a decent, normal dude, but there is nothing that makes it really stand out. There are thousands upon thousands of profiles out there and I believe that you need to do something different to catch someone's eye.
Try visiting 50 other guys' profiles to check them out. Probably create another account to do this so they don't think you are perving on them. You'll see that most of them could be completely interchangeable with yours. I could write your profile without having ever met you and applied it to you and probably a lot of people you know.
Maybe try some humor? Talk about something really interesting that happened to you recently or that you are planning to do that could potentially involve them?
Good luck with it bro! I hope I didn't come off as too critical, just a thought from someone who has so-so results. Personally, I also don't reply to girls whose profiles look like they might have been typed by their mothers.0 -
Honestly, my only problem might be the fact that you say you're not the serious relationship type. I feel like there are a handful of people that are looking for just a fling or new friends, but the majority deep down are looking for something more meaningful. You definitely seem like someone I could grab a beer with, but if I'm looking for a relationship I might focus my efforts elsewhere.Hey - I`d love to get some advice on my profile!
I`m on OKC and my handle is politicschic
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/politicschic
I`d love some honest feedback. Don`t bother sparing my feelings
Thanks!! Seems like a lot of people like it, I'll definitely keep it around for a while.Just creeped you lol, and I gotta say that I am really digging the beard. I think it is a really good look on you and you should keep it!!0 -
And I think that is exactly why I've included it. This isn't my first "rodeo" so to speak - and I know what I want. I've been on dating sites before and the last thing I want to do is mislead anyone. It ends in disappointment for all parties involved. Don't you think it's better to be honest about what you actually want than to go out on dates with people looking for long-term commitment knowing full well that it isn't what you want or are able to give?
Honestly, my only problem might be the fact that you say you're not the serious relationship type. I feel like there are a handful of people that are looking for just a fling or new friends, but the majority deep down are looking for something more meaningful. You definitely seem like someone I could grab a beer with, but if I'm looking for a relationship I might focus my efforts elsewhere.Hey - I`d love to get some advice on my profile!
I`m on OKC and my handle is politicschic
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/politicschic
I`d love some honest feedback. Don`t bother sparing my feelings
This is a broader question, I suppose. I find that I am more likely to appreciate a dating profile that comes across as honest, if a bit off-putting, only because the superficial bullsh*t people post to get dates won't get them past the first one. I don't like wasting my time with people who have just written what they think women want to hear. If I know with great certainty that I am not interested in a long-term commitment or a relationship that is going to take over my life (ie. I just want to casually date and have some fun), why not volunteer that info at the outset?
I think that for the most part I am much more likely to respond to a guy if his profile is a bit rough around the edges (read: doesn't look copy edited by the staff at Cosmo to try and catch my attention). I want to see some personality. Some humanity. Someone who knows and can appreciate his own strengths and weaknesses and find humour in them, instead of hiding them away or trying to mask them with cliche one-liners or stories demonstrating how cultured, well-traveled, or sophisticated his mom thinks he is...
Thoughts?0
