Light Bulb moment for me :)
pferde01
Posts: 16
Hello, I am brand new to this group and pretty new to MFP. I have struggled my whole life with weight but this year I am working with a nutrition coach, a fitness coach AND a therapist.
I think the therapy will be the most important piece of this puzzle. I wanted to share with you all what I thought was interesting about my therapy session surrounding my health. My therapist asked me about what messages surrounding food I got when I was growing up.
I definitely remember the food as a comfort message. “It’s been a bad day and we deserve this treat” “I’m eating this bag of chips and I don’t want to hear about it, I’m stressed”.
The other thing is the whole convenience/fend for yourself concept in our kitchen. When I was in elementary school I remember we had one night a week that was fend for yourself night. I think that’s a good idea as far as teaching kids to be self sufficient. But I don’t really remember being guided into healthy choices. So naturally we cooked pizza rolls and mac and cheese and frozen pizzas!
As my mom worked more it was basically fend for yourself every night. We didn’t really have many sit down meals, especially during the week. And the kinds of foods we had stocked were those that were convenient for us kids to make. Or convenient to freeze or keep in the fridge for a few days. And of course when we controlled our meals, there was no one there to guide us on portions or trying new vegetables or anything else.
I remember once I got fat in fourth grade, my mom tried to pay me per mile to get on the treadmill! But didn’t make any attempt to change any of our lifestyle factors. Eating food for comfort and convenience, and not for nutrition have continued through my adult life.
Anyway, the point of this isn’t to blame anyone, not even my mom lol. Just to review it, understand it, so I can change it. I’m not saying I don’t take any responsibility for my actions then and throughout my adult life. But acknowledging the power of the lessons I learned as a child allow me to stop beating myself up. Okay, this makes sense. I don’t suck. I’m not a total screw up. This is what I learned. But I have the power to make changes for myself and hopefully maintain them if I start a family.
I think the therapy will be the most important piece of this puzzle. I wanted to share with you all what I thought was interesting about my therapy session surrounding my health. My therapist asked me about what messages surrounding food I got when I was growing up.
I definitely remember the food as a comfort message. “It’s been a bad day and we deserve this treat” “I’m eating this bag of chips and I don’t want to hear about it, I’m stressed”.
The other thing is the whole convenience/fend for yourself concept in our kitchen. When I was in elementary school I remember we had one night a week that was fend for yourself night. I think that’s a good idea as far as teaching kids to be self sufficient. But I don’t really remember being guided into healthy choices. So naturally we cooked pizza rolls and mac and cheese and frozen pizzas!
As my mom worked more it was basically fend for yourself every night. We didn’t really have many sit down meals, especially during the week. And the kinds of foods we had stocked were those that were convenient for us kids to make. Or convenient to freeze or keep in the fridge for a few days. And of course when we controlled our meals, there was no one there to guide us on portions or trying new vegetables or anything else.
I remember once I got fat in fourth grade, my mom tried to pay me per mile to get on the treadmill! But didn’t make any attempt to change any of our lifestyle factors. Eating food for comfort and convenience, and not for nutrition have continued through my adult life.
Anyway, the point of this isn’t to blame anyone, not even my mom lol. Just to review it, understand it, so I can change it. I’m not saying I don’t take any responsibility for my actions then and throughout my adult life. But acknowledging the power of the lessons I learned as a child allow me to stop beating myself up. Okay, this makes sense. I don’t suck. I’m not a total screw up. This is what I learned. But I have the power to make changes for myself and hopefully maintain them if I start a family.
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Replies
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Awarenes is the first step to helping ourselves. Keep up the good work.0
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Therapy can be so so helpful. I know it has for me.
Instead of just eating when it feels bad, I have to actually stop and look and try to fix what feels bad. My therapist helps me find those tools.0 -
Thanks for sharing this. I have considered trying therapy to help with some of the issues I have had with my weight. I definitely can relate to what you said about having learned as a child to have a certain relationship with food. Good luck in your efforts to form healthy habits!0
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I understand how you feel. This is also my relationship with food. There were no planned meals, just fend for yourself frozen corndogs or pizza. And in college, it didn't get better because I didn't know how to make a balanced meal.
Honestly, it took slimfast before I got it right. They told me how to devide a plate of food (1/4 protein, 1/4 grain, 1/2 veggie) and I've used that ever since. I learned how to balance every meal, got off the slimfast (thank God), and started losing.
I am no longer the girl who brings a can of corn to work for lunch because the grocery store doesn't scare me nearly as much.0
