Grammar and Spelling
poncho33
Posts: 1,511
So ladies, this is really such a big deal to you that it's a "deal breaker?"
I could understand if it were before the 1990's and the main form of nonverbal communication. But honestly how much writing goes on between couples these days... a 160 character text, or one paragraph email?? Seems a bit petty to me.
*note: My grammar is pretty poor, lol.
I could understand if it were before the 1990's and the main form of nonverbal communication. But honestly how much writing goes on between couples these days... a 160 character text, or one paragraph email?? Seems a bit petty to me.
*note: My grammar is pretty poor, lol.
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It doesn't bother me via text or email. But reading someone's online profile... I think some guys need a spellcheck.0
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What is petty to you is not to another, and vice versa. Spelling and grammar tend to be indicative of how much education an individual has received, which goes back to our previous conversation in which I pointed out that I prefer men with a high level of education. As stated before, it's not that I look down on a man for having poor grammar skills (which, may I point out, yours is not bad at all), it's more that it's very hard for me to feel a strong connection to him.
You may still think it's petty, but I'm sure you have "deal breakers" that I would find to be just as trivial :flowerforyou:0 -
Doesn't bother me. I can't exactly profess to being the best speller in the world either!! That's what spell check is for!!
The only thing that bugs me a bit is texting 'da' instead of 'the'. Dont know why but that's my personal pet peeve!
My LTex couldnt spell to save his life, he didnt need to - he's a professional singer. Not all people are writers/authors/editors/journalists/poets etc!! :laugh:
Mind you, it did make me laugh, and still does, when I was seeing a guy who text me to say he fancied Quisinots for breakfast - he meant Croissants!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
It's not really a deal breaker for me, unless it is so bad I have to try to decode it. A few misspelled words and not great grammar are not a big deal for me. I'm not that great at it myself.0
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I doesnt bother me via texting.. I suck at spelling anyways lol., But it will make me laugh sometime when its really bad0
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It kind of matters to me. If the person makes the occasional mistake big deal, I can correct it. But if it's really bad and hopeless it might make me think twice. But enough to be a huge turnoff? Not for me. If it was one of a couple things it could be the straw that breaks the camel's back. But if he was perfect for me and grammar was the only thing then I could deal with it.0
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What is petty to you is not to another, and vice versa. Spelling and grammar tend to be indicative of how much education an individual has received, which goes back to our previous conversation in which I pointed out that I prefer men with a high level of education. As stated before, it's not that I look down on a man for having poor grammar skills (which, may I point out, yours is not bad at all), it's more that it's very hard for me to feel a strong connection to him.
You may still think it's petty, but I'm sure you have "deal breakers" that I would find to be just as trivial :flowerforyou:
So would you rule someone out for having poor math skills? It's something we learned in school and don't use as frequently as past generations.
I basically have 3 requirements that would get someone a 2nd date
1. they have to be attractive to me
2. they need to be sweet
3. can hold up their end of a conversation (meaning they don't just sit there and what they say is interesting to me).
Overall everyone gets to live their life the way they want to. But I struggle to get my 3 requirements met and feel it would make it even harder to find someone being picky about things like spelling.0 -
What is petty to you is not to another, and vice versa. Spelling and grammar tend to be indicative of how much education an individual has received, which goes back to our previous conversation in which I pointed out that I prefer men with a high level of education. As stated before, it's not that I look down on a man for having poor grammar skills (which, may I point out, yours is not bad at all), it's more that it's very hard for me to feel a strong connection to him.
You may still think it's petty, but I'm sure you have "deal breakers" that I would find to be just as trivial :flowerforyou:
Kate, one of my dear friends had a Masters degree and was dyslexic!! Couldnt spell for toffee!!! So, not quite sure that good spelling or grammar, in the age of computers, is indicative of education?0 -
But if he was perfect for me and grammar was the only thing then I could deal with it.
I used to tell myself this too. However, I've learned from the guys that I've dated that most of them were not perfect for me, as much as I tried to convince myself they were. I usually ended up being belittled by them for placing a strong emphasis on education and wanting to learn as much as possible. Experience has just taught me that little things like that can be a big deal, as they are indicative of larger issues.0 -
I don't know if I would go so far as to say it's a deal breaker, but it's definitely something that would really bother me if it was constant. However, I do understand that people make typos and errors sometimes, that happens to everyone. And I am ok with abbreviations via text as long as they at least make sense!0
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What is petty to you is not to another, and vice versa. Spelling and grammar tend to be indicative of how much education an individual has received, which goes back to our previous conversation in which I pointed out that I prefer men with a high level of education. As stated before, it's not that I look down on a man for having poor grammar skills (which, may I point out, yours is not bad at all), it's more that it's very hard for me to feel a strong connection to him.
You may still think it's petty, but I'm sure you have "deal breakers" that I would find to be just as trivial :flowerforyou:
Kate, one of my dear friends had a Masters degree and was dyslexic!! Couldnt spell for toffee!!! So, not quite sure that good spelling or grammar, in the age of computers, is indicative of education?
I work with PhDs and people with their Master's all the time. Some of them are the WORST spellers and could not form a proper sentence if their life depended on it. I myself -- non-degreed but a "professional" in every capacity, can hold my own next to anyone.0 -
So ladies, this is really such a big deal to you that it's a "deal breaker?"
I could understand if it were before the 1990's and the main form of nonverbal communication. But honestly how much writing goes on between couples these days... a 160 character text, or one paragraph email?? Seems a bit petty to me.
*note: My grammar is pretty poor, lol.
Nope -- not a deal breaker in the least. However, I don't like it when a profile is poorly written or "r" and "u" are used instead of "are" and "you". That's just lazy in my opinion. Text speak shouldn't spill over into everyday writing.0 -
So ladies, this is really such a big deal to you that it's a "deal breaker?"
I could understand if it were before the 1990's and the main form of nonverbal communication. But honestly how much writing goes on between couples these days... a 160 character text, or one paragraph email?? Seems a bit petty to me.
*note: My grammar is pretty poor, lol.
Nope -- not a deal breaker in the least. However, I don't like it when a profile is poorly written or "r" and "u" are used instead of "are" and "you". That's just lazy in my opinion. Text speak shouldn't spill over into everyday writing.
Ok, I can understand the text speak outside of a text... it's just tacky and is a lack of effort.0 -
But if he was perfect for me and grammar was the only thing then I could deal with it.
I used to tell myself this too. However, I've learned from the guys that I've dated that most of them were not perfect for me, as much as I tried to convince myself they were. I usually ended up being belittled by them for placing a strong emphasis on education and wanting to learn as much as possible. Experience has just taught me that little things like that can be a big deal, as they are indicative of larger issues.
I guess for you I would say an academic type (or extremely smart guy) is more of a requirement than spelling is a deal breaker.0 -
But if he was perfect for me and grammar was the only thing then I could deal with it.
I used to tell myself this too. However, I've learned from the guys that I've dated that most of them were not perfect for me, as much as I tried to convince myself they were. I usually ended up being belittled by them for placing a strong emphasis on education and wanting to learn as much as possible. Experience has just taught me that little things like that can be a big deal, as they are indicative of larger issues.
I guess for you I would say an academic type (or extremely smart guy) is more of a requirement than spelling is a deal breaker.
You say that like it's a bad thing because it isn't what matters to you. Frankly, I say good for Kate for knowing what she wants!0 -
What is petty to you is not to another, and vice versa. Spelling and grammar tend to be indicative of how much education an individual has received, which goes back to our previous conversation in which I pointed out that I prefer men with a high level of education. As stated before, it's not that I look down on a man for having poor grammar skills (which, may I point out, yours is not bad at all), it's more that it's very hard for me to feel a strong connection to him.
You may still think it's petty, but I'm sure you have "deal breakers" that I would find to be just as trivial :flowerforyou:
Kate, one of my dear friends had a Masters degree and was dyslexic!! Couldnt spell for toffee!!! So, not quite sure that good spelling or grammar, in the age of computers, is indicative of education?
I agree completely Anna. My boss is the resident engineer on a government facility construction site, he has to ask me repeatedly how to spell things. He is very intelligent but got left out in the spelling department. His math skills are unbelievable.0 -
But if he was perfect for me and grammar was the only thing then I could deal with it.
I used to tell myself this too. However, I've learned from the guys that I've dated that most of them were not perfect for me, as much as I tried to convince myself they were. I usually ended up being belittled by them for placing a strong emphasis on education and wanting to learn as much as possible. Experience has just taught me that little things like that can be a big deal, as they are indicative of larger issues.
I guess for you I would say an academic type (or extremely smart guy) is more of a requirement than spelling is a deal breaker.
You say that like it's a bad thing because it isn't what matters to you. Frankly, I say good for Kate for knowing what she wants!
Not at all, it's good to have a few things that a potential partner must meet.0 -
But if he was perfect for me and grammar was the only thing then I could deal with it.
I used to tell myself this too. However, I've learned from the guys that I've dated that most of them were not perfect for me, as much as I tried to convince myself they were. I usually ended up being belittled by them for placing a strong emphasis on education and wanting to learn as much as possible. Experience has just taught me that little things like that can be a big deal, as they are indicative of larger issues.
I guess for you I would say an academic type (or extremely smart guy) is more of a requirement than spelling is a deal breaker.
You say that like it's a bad thing because it isn't what matters to you. Frankly, I say good for Kate for knowing what she wants!
Not at all, it's good to have a few things that a potential partner must meet.
Nice to hear you say that.0 -
But if he was perfect for me and grammar was the only thing then I could deal with it.
I used to tell myself this too. However, I've learned from the guys that I've dated that most of them were not perfect for me, as much as I tried to convince myself they were. I usually ended up being belittled by them for placing a strong emphasis on education and wanting to learn as much as possible. Experience has just taught me that little things like that can be a big deal, as they are indicative of larger issues.
I have a bachelors degree and while I don't envision myself going for more education, I value it dearly. I try to learn as much as I can about world issues and the like. I do agree that not having curiosity about things worries me but for me, it doesn't have to be formal education. The spelling thing could be indicative but it also might not be. My mom has bad spelling sometimes and she cares a lot of world issues and pushes education on us.0 -
Everyone has their strong suits, and mine is grammar and spelling. That is what I do all day, proofread. I am OCD about it and I do proofread everything that comes across my path, but I do not hold it against anyone, unless it is in the office. But in my personal life, I wouldn't hold it against a guy. Sometimes it does make me giggle when I read some of it, and kind of see it as a game to see what exactly is being said.0
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The thing is, you dont exactly meet someone in a bar, chat the night away, and give them a spelling test!! :noway:
I mean, if the chemistry is there, you're attracted to each other, the conversation is flowing and you're talking world issues, rocket science and calculus (or whatever floats your boat) , but then he sends you a text the next day and writes' r 'instead of 'are', are you really going to sack him?? :laugh:0 -
I basically have 3 requirements that would get someone a 2nd date
1. they have to be attractive to me
2. they need to be sweet
3. can hold up their end of a conversation (meaning they don't just sit there and what they say is interesting to me).
Yeah, sounds the same as mine, just sub 'gent' for 'sweet'
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The thing is, you dont exactly meet someone in a bar, chat the night away, and give them a spelling test!! :noway:
I mean, if the chemistry is there, you're attracted to each other, the conversation is flowing and you're talking world issues, rocket science and calculus (or whatever floats your boat) , but then he sends you a text the next day and writes' r 'instead of 'are', are you really going to sack him?? :laugh:
Anna, I agree, but I think it's much more obvious in online dating when you see the profile. Sometimes they are indecipherable!0 -
The thing is, you dont exactly meet someone in a bar, chat the night away, and give them a spelling test!! :noway:
I mean, if the chemistry is there, you're attracted to each other, the conversation is flowing and you're talking world issues, rocket science and calculus (or whatever floats your boat) , but then he sends you a text the next day and writes' r 'instead of 'are', are you really going to sack him?? :laugh:
Anna, I agree, but I think it's much more obvious in online dating when you see the profile. Sometimes they are indecipherable!
I think if it's so bad that you can't figure out what they are trying to say... it's not petty at all. But I posted this topic because many woman have spelling mistakes are a deal breaker written in their profiles... this would make me hesitant to write them because I have the occasional spelling error or long *kitten* sentence.0 -
The thing is, you dont exactly meet someone in a bar, chat the night away, and give them a spelling test!! :noway:
I mean, if the chemistry is there, you're attracted to each other, the conversation is flowing and you're talking world issues, rocket science and calculus (or whatever floats your boat) , but then he sends you a text the next day and writes' r 'instead of 'are', are you really going to sack him?? :laugh:
Anna, I agree, but I think it's much more obvious in online dating when you see the profile. Sometimes they are indecipherable!
Oh, I agree too!! Online profiles are different. If your spelling is that bad, then you really need to employ someone's help. But that could be said of all of us who just find it difficult to 'sell' ourselves in writing. :flowerforyou:0 -
Anna, I agree, but I think it's much more obvious in online dating when you see the profile. Sometimes they are indecipherable!
^^ This! I never paid much attention and could care less via text, but when you are shopping online, having extremely poor grammar, a complete run-on sentence, and repeated misspellings actually makes me question whether we're in the same place. I am an educated, intelligent woman so it matters. That doesn't mean it's a deal-breaker though. I do think that people infer things about you by reading what you've typed so I'd prefer to show my good side!0 -
Indeed, spelling and level of education are unrelated.
Kate, one of my dear friends had a Masters degree and was dyslexic!! Couldnt spell for toffee!!! So, not quite sure that good spelling or grammar, in the age of computers, is indicative of education?What is petty to you is not to another, and vice versa. Spelling and grammar tend to be indicative of how much education an individual has received
That said, educated people have no good excuses for their bad spelling.0 -
As the son of an English teacher and an engineer that needs to be extremely anal about everything for work, I definitely notice it. Is it a turn off? Definitely. Is it a deal breaker? No.0
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Is it really that common for women to add that in their profiles? I've never seen it on a man's page.But I posted this topic because many woman have spelling mistakes are a deal breaker written in their profiles... this would make me hesitant to write them because I have the occasional spelling error or long *kitten* sentence.
Love how you called it online shopping! lolbut when you are shopping online0 -
I am not a fanatic about it and this is just my opinion but to me it shows a basic level of respect for the intended audience.
We all make spelling,punctuation and grammatical errors at times but at least to show an effort at not would indicate to me a person was taking the thing seriously.
Sort of like proper attire for a job interview etc.0
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