trying not to judge...

minkakross

I went out to eat with some old friends yesterday at a sushi bar, I ordered 2 tuna nijiri (for the non sushi lovers that the raw tuna on rice) and an order of chicken kabobs, thinking they would be small and I could eat them if the tuna didn't settle well. I'm only 5 weeks out, so after 1 1/2 tuna and a nibble of carrot off the kabob I was done. The kabobs which were not small became dinner for my husband and 2 kids last night. Anyway I'm off track... They (my friends) ordered several rolls a peice. When the food arrived all I could do was stare at their plates, I kept asking myself did I use to eat that much? could I have eaten that much in one setting? I really had to bite my tounge not to say DAMN that's a lot of food or something worse.

the problem is this isn't the first time. Went out with the family for Father Day and kept looking at my husbands plate and calculating how many meals you could make out of his one plate. I can't tell you how thrilled I was to see him stop at half but then I was disgusted by the remaining half full plate of food and just felt relieved when they took it off the table.

Is this normal? Is or has anyone else ended up with weird issues when eating out?

Onaughmae

My hubby can really pack it away so I just try to not pay attention to it. I really dont want him to feel that I am judging him for the amount he eats. That is his battle to overcome. One thing I have started doing when I go out is to order a "to go" box right away. As soon as my meal comes I pack away around 2/3 of it and sit it off to the side of the table. It takes me so much longer to eat than everyone else that by the time I am finishing what is left on my plate everyone else is finishing about the same time. That way we all finish together and I am not sitting there with a plate full of food still. I take my leftovers home and still get at least 2 good meals out of it

juicep

I have issues with that also. But I have really tried to focus on other things when we eat now...conversation, the weather. Anything other than food. Yes, we did eat that much before and probably more. That's how we got to the place we are in now. Being aware is crucial to us not repeating our past. But what works for us may not work for others so I try to stick to monitoring me and me alone. It's a big enough job in itself.

Butlavie

Hello
I am so with you..not only do I pay attention to what and how much everyone eats.. I have also realized how much everything is revolved around food. Im not trying to do things that are fun with out thinking about eating and thats the first word out of every ones mouth..ughhh not helping me!! The message board here is a life saver because none of my family and friends are understanding what Im going through. Best of luck to you.

minkakross

I have been keeping all that internal but I was really starting to wonder if I was going mental. I like the advice about focusing on the conversation and other things going on because that was by default what I had to do yesterday not to just keep looking at their plates or watching them stuff their gobs; and honest I was more disgusted by knowing that that was me before I started getting serious about my health than I cared that they were doing it. If I didn't have a vacation coming up or like the work lunch social dynamic so much I'd just give up on eating out all together.

onehappysunshyne

I feel the same way as well. I can't believe I used to eat that much!

I just got back from a trip with my son and husband. I also realized yesterday that I obsessed about food in general. Not about eating it, but making sure y next meal is healthy. Yesterday after we had lunch I started looking at other restaurants around the area and commenting where we should have dinner.

I wanted to make sure that we had dinner at a local restaurant that would have choices for me, not at some "fat food filled" chain restaurant. Both my husband and son thought it was super weird that I started talking about dinner as soon as we walked outside from finishing lunch. Does anyone else do that?

Onaughmae

I think its pretty easy to "obsess" because especially in the beginning of changing our diets it is something that we are hyper aware of. The longer I go I can sort of put it on the back burner a little easier. Now I pretty much go wherever my hubs wants to go and I just make the best choices from that place.

minkakross

@Onehappysunsh, I have a vacation schedule with the family in a few weeks, it will be the first time I've had to deal with multiple eating out events and while I'm guessing I'll be thinking about dinner planning at breakfast I check in again afterwords and let you know how crazy I actually got.

onehappysunshyne

I'm glad that i'm not the only one. I really didn't know that I thought about food that much. I food that goes away in time.

Laura8603

It gets better, i promise. I used to feel the same way.

tena_moran

I have a problem with sitting at lunch with a co-worker that had RNY as well and she is eating twice or three times as much as recommended. she is 1 1/2 yrs post op and I can't believe how much she can put away at a sitting, it drives me CRAZY! I just bite my tongue but it is very disturbing. I talk about my challenges and what I am learning about portion size and eating healthy and she is very encouraging but she still continues to eat so much. OH and smelling her fast food in the morning is frustrating! she has a cubbing right next to me..she is one of my bff and she tries to be sensitive but like you all said, its hard to eat with others and not be judgemental, my Lord all that food in one sitting AFTER RNY, yuk!

heres2anewme

I guess I am rude about it because I will tell people that I cannot look at them while they eat because the amount of food on their plates and the huge bites they take make me sick. Some think I am jealous because I can't eat that much, but honestly it makes me want to throw up. I figure if they know in advance they will not wonder why I don't look at them when they talk or I speak to them. I am just up front with it. I also have no desire to eat that much again, ever.

Laura8603

I guess I am rude about it because I will tell people that I cannot look at them while they eat because the amount of food on their plates and the huge bites they take make me sick. Some think I am jealous because I can't eat that much, but honestly it makes me want to throw up. I figure if they know in advance they will not wonder why I don't look at them when they talk or I speak to them. I am just up front with it. I also have no desire to eat that much again, ever.

Wow. I hope you find a better way to deal with YOUR feelings or you will have no friends left. And you may feel like you never want to eat that much again ever right now, but the truth is, the further you get out, you WILL be able to eat more. I can eat a ton and I do sometime, which makes the whole process of maintenance that much harder.

tessanne10

It doesn't really bother me that much what my friends or family are eating, but rather how big the portions are at a restaurant. We went to Logan's yesterday for lunch and my hubby ordered a bacon cheese burger, when it came I asked him if he was going to be able to get his mouth around it! lol I had the boneless chicken wings with sauce on the side and sweet potato fries. I ordered the smallest amount and 3 wings was pushing it for me, needless to say, I have lunch for a couple of days. I think because it's warmer, I have had cravings for potato salad and ice cream. I'm learning how to deal with these, by having some, but no where near what I had in the past. I don't keep ice cream in the house, it's just asking for trouble, but I did find at Walmart, that the Skinny Cow brand has single servings of it and it can actually go for two servings for me.
I'm trying to learn how to cope when I am out in situations where these things may pop up, but I try to figure it out a head of time. I have also noticed that my husband isn't eating as much as he use to and he is also trying to lose some weight. Friends and family are another matter.
I went to a funeral last week and at the reception afterwards, I was noticing how full their plates were and then when it came to the dessert they would come back with three or four on one plate!!! I'll admit I walked to the dessert table and looked and yes the chocolate was calling my name, but I was so full from the protein and veggies and fruit I ate that I walked away from it. I had to look, but not touch! lol