What's YOUR number?
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I'd have to say that 10.5 sounds just about right. I have friends that are much higher and some that are lower. This is going to sound bad, but I really don't keep track of that kind of thing. I'd have to say between 15-20.
From my point of view, I really don't care about how many partners a women has. I'm more concerned that she practices safe sex more than anything. I'd rather be with a women who's been with 50 guys and used protection every time as opposed to someone who's been with 5 and never used protection.0 -
Seems like a nice/decent and normal number to me for a woman. Less than 3 and a woman in her 30s would seem prude to me.
Jeez Florian, What if the girl has only been with one partner for 10 years!! Or just never got the opportunity to fall in love. Or never had the confidence to attract a mate. Bit of a sweeping and judgemental statement coming from you!! :noway: And even if you have zero partners doesnt make you a 'prude'!! You need to have a bit more respect for peeps that keep it in their pants!! Just because you dont sleep with any Tom, **** or Florian, doenst mean you dont like sex!!
:flowerforyou:.. but it's my personal wish is to make the act evolve from sex to art...
"La perfection du geste"! (The perfect gesture)
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Fantastic!! I'm sure you'll get the Turner prize before you are 50
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My number is 0. And it will be that way for a while. And my number for kissing is 0 too - hopefully that might change soon. I would love to not be a kissing virgin by my 23 birthday!
My number is 0 too.0 -
Haha oh there is more than 13 but I just know the names of 13 for sure - and we're only 22. This girl doesn't quite realize that having sex with a guy doesn't make him want you as something more or want to love you. All of us friends see that clearly but she doesn't.
This is where I get a bit uncomfortable with this question. There is a lot of judgement passing that doesn't seem right to me.
It's sex. It's not murder. Murdering 13 people by the time you're 22 is definitely excessive... Having sex? Who am I to judge her? And I won't even get into the inevitable double standard that exists around this question.
--P
^^^^concur!0 -
5. Just had to bid farewell to #5 as he goes back home to live in America =[.
I plan for #6 to be something serious...though I am about to go traveling for 3 months...eep.
I feel like for myself, my number is too high. But I don't judge other people by their numbers, each to their own. Unless it's something ridiculous like 50+...yuck..0 -
Do you think 10.5 is high or not as an average for a woman?
So, what would you call a man in the same situation? Don't usually hear men referred to as prudes, so I'm curious what your term for them would be.Seems like a nice/decent and normal number to me for a woman. Less than 3 and a woman in her 30s would seem prude to me.
I wish more men felt this way :flowerforyou:Not that I've had any complaints in that department... but it's my personal wish is to make the act evolve from sex to art...
"La perfection du geste"! (The perfect gesture)0 -
Honestly, I don't know what my number is, but it's probably higher than 10.5. It's not that I can't count that high, it's just that it seems a little silly to count after you reach a certain age.0
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My number is 0. And it will be that way for a while. And my number for kissing is 0 too - hopefully that might change soon. I would love to not be a kissing virgin by my 23 birthday!
Wow. That's interesting. If you don't mind me asking, why the wait?
Thanks,
--P
Not sure I'd you're referring to sex or kissing but answering the Kissing question should answer the sex question- never gotten the opportunity. I've only had dates with two different guys before but things didn't get that far. I've never had anyone seem that interested in me enough besides that to kiss me.
As far as sex, I believe it's special and not meant to be casual. Even if I get kissed it doesn't mean I'll have
sex with them just to lose my virginity. I think a lot of people think it's just getting off but I know it's more than that. Feelings and other emotions complicate it - I don't really think two people can have sex just for the sake of it - its impossible in my book. Kissing is one thing but sex is something else totally.
As for the post where you quoted my post about my friend - it would be fine if she was just having sex but she is trying to gain live from it. Her first boyfriend had sex with her a couple of months before they dated so she thinks she has to have sex with a guy to attract a guy which is so far from the truth.
Hope that answers your questions!
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I just hope they don`t consider me the .5
:laugh:
Well played.0 -
An emo...Do you think 10.5 is high or not as an average for a woman?
So, what would you call a man in the same situation? Don't usually hear men referred to as prudes, so I'm curious what your term for them would be.Seems like a nice/decent and normal number to me for a woman. Less than 3 and a woman in her 30s would seem prude to me.
More seriously, I'm not sure how I would call them really, the idea being that in the "sex market", roughly, the supply is represented by women and the demand is represented by men.
So women would chose not to have sex (on average) whereas men do not chose not to have sex (on average).
So I'd call them "a guy in a bad spot who needs to hone some of his skills".
Ok, here is my take on this:Jeez Florian, What if the girl has only been with one partner for 10 years!! Or just never got the opportunity to fall in love. Or never had the confidence to attract a mate. Bit of a sweeping and judgemental statement coming from you!! :noway: And even if you have zero partners doesnt make you a 'prude'!! You need to have a bit more respect for peeps that keep it in their pants!!
- Fact 1: Women have it easier than men to have casual sex, should they want to.
- Fact 2: This is a single peeps forum, so I assume people here are single, and aren't in a LTR anymore.
Now, assuming the woman has been off her LTR for some time, and isn't still into her ex, then there is a fair chance she's had the opportunity to have sex (which they might or might not take).
I called women who didn't take these opportunities at least 3 miserable times "prude" (probably only 2 since I would assume their partner can count as 1).
I would actually wonder why the girl hasn't tried more in the meantime, when I meet her (knowing that all the girls I talk to "miss the sex"). So my assumption would be "This girl must be quite prude!".
Clearly it's a sweeping statement, but I'd happily be convinced of the contrary by a woman I would be involved with! :smooched:
If you haven't slept with Florian, you don't really like sex yet. :smokin:Just because you dont sleep with any Tom, **** or Florian, doenst mean you dont like sex!!0 -
Seems like a nice/decent and normal number to me for a woman. Less than 3 and a woman in her 30s would seem prude to me.
I have a major problem with this.
What if I said "if a woman has had more than 3 partners she is a slut."
That is SUCH a blanket statement - both mine and yours. In yours, you don't count in anything like having a long-term partner or being married. In mine, I assume that a woman who has had more than 3 partners is promiscuous, when in fact, a woman could easily have three or more boyfriends by the time she is in her early twenties.
We talk a lot on Single Peeps about slut shaming but what about virgin/prude shaming? We all widely object when someone says someone is a slut, but it barely creates a ripple when someone says, "less than three and in her thirties it would seem prude to me."
Personally, if I were a guy, I would be soooo much more flattered to be with a girl who only had a few different partners and was selective in her choices, rather than a girl who has had sex with a lot of men.- Fact 1: Women have it easier than men to have casual sex, should they want to.
And what if they don't want to have casual sex? Are they a prude?I would actually wonder why the girl hasn't tried more in the meantime, when I meet her (knowing that all the girls I talk to "miss the sex"). So my assumption would be "This girl must be quite prude!".
Not everyone thinks about sex all the time.
Sometimes you make me say things that make me go "HUH?!"
I have a friend who is almost 23 and has had one boyfriend before, one sexual partner. They still have sex occasionally even though they're not dating anymore. And she loves sex, but she is just not willing to go have it with anyone. You might assume when she said she has had one partner that she is a prude, when she is not a prude by any means.0 -
I'm in the minority so far....I think 10.5 is low for both men and women, and it is only getting higher with upcoming generations.
Personally I know I am way way over 10.5 and that doesn't bother me at all, I'm 38 years old. If I have sex with one woman a month for a year that is 12. So 10.5 who cares. Personally I don't care what a persons # is as long as if we agree we are exclusive I'm her last # until we decide otherwise.
I am with you. I think 10.5 is low. When I got out of my last LTR, my number was 5 and I was 28. I had been in 12.5 years of relationships since losing my virginity at 16.
Now I am 31 and in the last 3 years, since splitting with my ex, my number has gone up quite a bit. I am not ashamed and I don't regret any of them. Would I prefer to sleep with the same person instead of trying out new models, absolutely. But until then I am take things as they come, no pun intended.
I also do not and will not discuss my number with a partner. I don't want to know his either. Ew.0 -
I posted about this before in "how many is too many?". Like I said, I am 35 and not been in long term relationships so therefore my number is higher than my girlfriends who were with their first or second for 10 years and then got married. I don't think it matters as long as you are disease free. Just sleeping with one person a year since I lost my V card would put me in double digits. People who are more active daters could have had one a week, or one a month, etc. making the number way up there. Most men I know in Los Angeles who are single are well over 30 people. I personally don't think sex has to be some sacred gift, but I also know better than to be picking up random dudes because I want to get my rocks off. Sometimes IT happens. You like someone, you are having a good time...I'm not gonna stress about my number. I may have had some mistakes in there, but it's all part of the learning process. No babies, no cooties, and no broken hearts came of it so C'est La Vie. I do respect the people who are willing to wait for love, and different folks have different temperaments and know what they can and cannot handle in terms of emotional attachments, etc. We all follow our own path, and some people it truly is lack of opportunity or too much opportunity that affects their number. lol0
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I also do not and will not discuss my number with a partner. I don't want to know his either. Ew.
See, I think this is interesting because it's a subject that I do tend to discuss with a partner. Granted, this is usually in the context of a developing relationship, but I think it's important to be open and honest. It's not a matter of judgement... I don't care if the number is 5 or 20 (though, I'd be weirded out and a tad self-conscious if the number was above 50), but as long as he's been safe during those sexual encounters, I don't care what the exact number is... I'm just curious!0 -
From my point of view, I really don't care about how many partners a women has. I'm more concerned that she practices safe sex more than anything. I'd rather be with a women who's been with 50 guys and used protection every time as opposed to someone who's been with 5 and never used protection.
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^^^ This ...changing the women to men, etc. 0 -
I am at 8 at the age of 40 (almost). But it is just a number really, all I can ask for is safe sex0
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I posted about this before in "how many is too many?". Like I said, I am 35 and not been in long term relationships so therefore my number is higher than my girlfriends who were with their first or second for 10 years and then got married. I don't think it matters as long as you are disease free. Just sleeping with one person a year since I lost my V card would put me in double digits. People who are more active daters could have had one a week, or one a month, etc. making the number way up there. Most men I know in Los Angeles who are single are well over 30 people. I personally don't think sex has to be some sacred gift, but I also know better than to be picking up random dudes because I want to get my rocks off. Sometimes IT happens. You like someone, you are having a good time...I'm not gonna stress about my number. I may have had some mistakes in there, but it's all part of the learning process. No babies, no cooties, and no broken hearts came of it so C'est La Vie. I do respect the people who are willing to wait for love, and different folks have different temperaments and know what they can and cannot handle in terms of emotional attachments, etc. We all follow our own path, and some people it truly is lack of opportunity or too much opportunity that affects their number. lol
Well said...reminds me of Hitchikers Guide with "42" the number or roads or something like that 0 -
my ex wife was number 3 and now i am at 6.
Positive trend... Keep up the good work. ;-)
I will say that number 4 kinda freaked out when I told her my number was 3. We were out at dinner and the topic came up and I told her 3 and she excused her self to the restroom...and didn't come back for a LONG time. I mean like other ladies went and came back in the time she was gone I seriously started thinking she went out the back door. Later, I learned she was a germ a phobe (not that it is a bad thing) but she would only use a certain stall and then she had to brush her teeth (dinner was over) and she bumped into somone she knew. Still was weird..in any case I don't talk about it anymore and I am searching for number 7 LOL0 -
- Fact 1: Women have it easier than men to have casual sex, should they want to.
And what if they don't want to have casual sex? Are they a prude?
I agree with Florian that women do have it easier to have casual sex, however he did not say that if don't take advantage of it you are a prude. I am sexual active, however I do not have casual sex- I prefer to wait to be dating someone before taking part in that (at least at this point of my life).
I am in my mid 20s and agree that 10.5 is a pretty accurate number- it is around where I am but I have not counted in a while and choose not to. I think the last time I did was when my ex asked me 6 years ago (I was with him 4 yrs and have not had many partners since). I had a rough past so I don't care to think about most of it. I think if my next partner asks for an accurate number, I will just throw a number out there however I don't think the number is that important since that is your past and your future can/will be different.0 -
Seeking volunteers for the remaining 5.5.:drinker:0
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Well, there is still a difference between:
andLess than 3 and a woman in her 30s would seem prude to me.
AKA
if a woman has had less than 3 partners, she would seem prude to me.
The original question to which I was replying is: "Do *YOU* think 10.5 is high or not as an average for a woman?", so really I was only giving my opinion ("She would seem ... to me"), the perception of 1 man (me). Now I understand you think differently and that's fine really. :laugh:if a woman has had more than 3 partners, she is a slut.
Also I'm sure there are plenty of me who would dig someone like you, so there is absolutely nothing wrong with this (and I know you know this).
Of course I didn't include every single exception in my mental scenario, but - to me and because of the type of girls I am looking for - I would prefer if the girl has had at least some experience before, yes.
Yeah. Me too actually... But 3 at 30+ years old isn't an awful lot of men if we're honest. That's probably 90% of the girls that are out of a past LTR (this is probably my main target market: they understand and know how relationships work, and they're a bit more down to earth).Personally, if I were a guy, I would be soooo much more flattered to be with a girl who only had a few different partners and was selective in her choices, rather than a girl who has had sex with a lot of men.
Also I said 10.5 seems a decent number to me (a few ONS, and a few medium TR or LTR), by what I mean I wouldn't think anything of it, whereas I might think that the girl indeed isn't very selective - and might back off - if she was saying for example 100 partners (although my limit would probably be lower). I guess this is up to every individual...
This is a borderline case, and I'm sure the girl - were I to meet her and be interested in her romantically - could explain this to me and we would be just fine then...I have a friend who is almost 23 and has had one boyfriend before, one sexual partner. They still have sex occasionally even though they're not dating anymore. And she loves sex, but she is just not willing to go have it with anyone. You might assume when she said she has had one partner that she is a prude, when she is not a prude by any means.0 -
ok So my husband was my first while we were dating. My total number is 7 at this time. I guess I settled down and then decided to start playing around ofter we split up.
It went Husband then 2 guys then boyfriend 3 guys so far in the time I've been single lol0 -
Personally, if I were a guy, I would be soooo much more flattered to be with a girl who only had a few different partners and was selective in her choices, rather than a girl who has had sex with a lot of men.
Well that just explains why I am single. :huh:0 -
Well that just explains why I am single. :huh:Personally, if I were a guy, I would be soooo much more flattered to be with a girl who only had a few different partners and was selective in her choices, rather than a girl who has had sex with a lot of men.
Don't EVEN make that joke, Meghan!! Self-confidence, remember?! What it means is that you are not looking for a tchristine24 in male form ... problem SOLVED! :bigsmile: I'm sure as you read the other male replies, you'll see that there are far more men who would be concerned about a LOW number than a slightly higher one! Oh D@MN, now I'm worried, haha....0 -
Well that just explains why I am single. :huh:Personally, if I were a guy, I would be soooo much more flattered to be with a girl who only had a few different partners and was selective in her choices, rather than a girl who has had sex with a lot of men.
Don't EVEN make that joke, Meghan!! Self-confidence, remember?! What it means is that you are not looking for a tchristine24 in male form ... problem SOLVED! :bigsmile: I'm sure as you read the other male replys, you'll see that there are far more men who would be concerned about a LOW number than a slightly higher one! Oh D@MN, now I'm worried, haha....
^^^^ This is true .. I've had far more guys freak out over the fact that my number is relatively low (especially in south florida)
I think they then feel that their number is way to high lol...
Interestingly enough My friends and I were having this discussion at the bar the other day (my sister had just watched the movie to) and most of the people we poled at the bar felt that 40 was the high number for a women. They said that if a womens number was over 40 i would give them pause but didn't neccisarily mean they wouldnt dat her lol0 -
Well that just explains why I am single. :huh:Personally, if I were a guy, I would be soooo much more flattered to be with a girl who only had a few different partners and was selective in her choices, rather than a girl who has had sex with a lot of men.
Don't EVEN make that joke, Meghan!! Self-confidence, remember?! What it means is that you are not looking for a tchristine24 in male form ... problem SOLVED! :bigsmile: I'm sure as you read the other male replies, you'll see that there are far more men who would be concerned about a LOW number than a slightly higher one! Oh D@MN, now I'm worried, haha....
Honestly- there are single people with low/no numbers and single people with higher numbers so I don't think numbers matter since you will get a partner based on you as a full package not the number of people you have slept with.
I do think this was a fun topic! Thanks for opening it!0 -
I don't keep track. As long as I'm being safe about it, does it REALLY matter if it's 2 or 20? I know girls who just "mess around" with guys, rather than have sex with them, because they don't want to increase their numbers. But, it's less safe to give a BJ than it is to have sex with a condom....I used to work at a surgical center, and I can't tell you the number of girls (and guys) who came in to get genital warts removed from their mouths because they "didn't want to have sex and look like a slut."0
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5. Just had to bid farewell to #5 as he goes back home to live in America =[.
I plan for #6 to be something serious...though I am about to go traveling for 3 months...eep.
I feel like for myself, my number is too high. But I don't judge other people by their numbers, each to their own. Unless it's something ridiculous like 50+...yuck..
Well, if you're into pole dancing (re your profile pic), and you find yourself in Prague on your upcoming travels, please look me up. By chance my favorite number is six. One of the first words I learned in German, btw.
--P0 -
Well that just explains why I am single. :huh:Personally, if I were a guy, I would be soooo much more flattered to be with a girl who only had a few different partners and was selective in her choices, rather than a girl who has had sex with a lot of men.
Don't EVEN make that joke, Meghan!! Self-confidence, remember?! What it means is that you are not looking for a tchristine24 in male form ... problem SOLVED! :bigsmile: I'm sure as you read the other male replies, you'll see that there are far more men who would be concerned about a LOW number than a slightly higher one! Oh D@MN, now I'm worried, haha....
LOL I was being completely sarcastic. First off, I am not discussing my number with any would be partner, it is none of their business. I have no regrets and I have been safe. My past and decisions have made me the awesome person I am today.0 -
Well that just explains why I am single. :huh:Personally, if I were a guy, I would be soooo much more flattered to be with a girl who only had a few different partners and was selective in her choices, rather than a girl who has had sex with a lot of men.
Don't EVEN make that joke, Meghan!! Self-confidence, remember?! What it means is that you are not looking for a tchristine24 in male form ... problem SOLVED! :bigsmile: I'm sure as you read the other male replies, you'll see that there are far more men who would be concerned about a LOW number than a slightly higher one! Oh D@MN, now I'm worried, haha....
LOL I was being completely sarcastic. First off, I am not discussing my number with any would be partner, it is none of their business. I have no regrets and I have been safe. My past and decisions have made me the awesome person I am today.
AMEN, sista!!0
