Online dating to "just friends"
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Just turn yourself into a doormat and try to NOT be confident and she will probably put you into the friend zone. If you tell her you don't feel the spark or chemistry needed to be in a relationship with someone it will probably make her want you more.
Seriously though, just put it out there, either way you don't want to date her she may be a little hurt, but she'll get over it. Better to just be honest, if she says no you really haven't lost anything.0 -
. Sometimes women force the spark feeling just because they want so badly to find a connection.
This is sooooooooooooooooooo true, you are wise my niece :flowerforyou:0 -
from my perspective all there IS is banging on dating sites................
I would agree! I was pretty shocked when I first did my online profile. Seems that a large percentage of the girls used it for hook ups and booty calls. It was a bit of a shock at first...although I have met many women on the site that do seem to be looking for relationships as well.0 -
Send a text. Always the easy way out :flowerforyou:
....really surprised to see a woman say that. I would've thought that would be a surefire way to make her feel unattractive, kind of like "I'm just not attracted to you"
Exactly!! He is NOT attracted to her!! But wants to be her friend. I'm all for plain old honesty. And I think texts alleviate the pressure on both sides.
I'd rather know by text on the first date than in person on the 4th, put it that way!! (although, by the 4th date I would prefer the more personal approach :flowerforyou: ) Not saying you shouldnt have given it a go, but if you know straight off then it's easier all round - no time invested, no emotions simmering, no expectations. First dates are difficult in a lot of ways, but lets face it, you get over them pretty quick.
I guess you make a good point there, I just figured a girl would be less willing to be friends if you did it over text. There's a lot of expression lost over text so I figured it would be harder to tell if it's just a pansy move to avoid an actual breakup or an actual invitation to be friends.
I would definitely not wait until the 4th date again, that was horrible indecision on my part. I couldn't decide if I really wasn't into her or it was the date choices I made that didn't spark any romance.0 -
beware, if they're crazies, they might seem totally cool with being friend's but they're secretly thinking they can change you.
Or, they start off ok with just being friends, but through that friendship they fall for you. I hafta admit I'm guilty of this one myself!0 -
if you know straight off then it's easier all round - no time invested, no emotions simmering, no expectations. First dates are difficult in a lot of ways, but lets face it, you get over them pretty quick.
I used to have a guy friend who I could do things like dinners, hanging out, adventures,etc but it was all platonic (started out I liked him, but he wasn't feelin it). I miss that. We were both pining away for other people, and it didn't bother me that he wasn't into me. I sure wish I could find that now, as his friendship took some of the "pressure" off of dating. If I didn't have a man in my life for the next function, I knew how to call. I don't know what I'd have done if he ever got a girlfriend, though!0 -
No. I don't get that mindset either. The purpose of an online dating site is to find a romantic relationship. And the sites most often fail in this regard.0
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I've made some awesome friends from Match when I first got divorced and we've stayed friends. I just was clear up front on no chemistry and never confused the lines. It was actually nice because there was no dating agenda so we could go out, have fun, introduce to friends etc. so I say who cares how you met. As long as you're honest and clear in your intentions with any friendship or relationship then no worries!0
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No. I don't get that mindset either. The purpose of an online dating site is to find a romantic relationship. And the sites most often fail in this regard.
Its just for attention.0 -
I have something along the lines of how let's just have fun on the date and at least make a friend, no pressure.
As most of you know, I've made one of the bestest friends in the world and I met him through POF. Granted, I had the hots for him for a long time but I consider him to be a life long friend now.0 -
wait so there is banging on dating sites? maybe i need to get my profile online again
Did my comment on here provoke the FR???
Nope..well maybe a little but not the way you think. I have a pretty big Friends List but very few of them are active. I am here to help support my friends but if your never online and never posting anything I cannot really support you. Therefore, I try to friend people that are active on the message boards.0 -
I've never felt chemistry on a date that came from a dating site. However, I have met some really cool chicks. Obviously we have similar interests and interesting conversations, which is what got us away from the keyboards and in to the real world in the first place.
I'm not always sure of a tactful way to try to pursue a friendship, though. If I invite them out a second time, doesn't that say that I'm expressing more interest? Of course they all fall madly in love with me right off the bat, and I don't want to hurt any feelings.
Anyone else been in this boat? Should I just assume that I have to bang them if we hang out and the lights go out? I'd really like to make new friends... without all the banging.
Just do what most nice guys do and tell them that you really want a serious relationship, kids, and thinking about getting off POF, and the whole thing. It will scare them and they will just want to be friends.0
