Players.........
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Can't a woman have a FWB that she uses as a *kitten* and then still be looking for someone to emotionally connect with? Lol.
ETA: As long as her FWB knows that he's only a penis that doesn't use batteries.
I'd rather stock up on AAAs or just have a hot guy get the deed done who I have no connection with whatsoever. But of course I prefer a relationship. Makes perfect sense. :laugh:0 -
All guys are after one thing, its what a woman has to offer that determines how long he stays around after hooking up. Women are the players today. Not all choose that road but they have so many choices (like 50a) and men might have like 1-3 choices. Most of my friends are female and they play men all the time. Times have changed, men cant screw women over anymore like thye used to. It seems that women that do get screwed over are the ones who like the bad boys and only look for that type, in that case, they will always get screwed over. I know so many guys who are single and would to meet a good woman. I dont know one single jerk or a hole is is single, weiird how that works.
And I know several great women who are single and would love to meet a good man...
Why is it so hard for the good ones to connect???
Its because the good guys are not the ones who are loud, making fun of others, and are in the back instead of the front in bars and clubs. I dont know why women have such a hard time admitting it, most women like bad boys, they are not attracted to the shyer nice guys. I get why they are, bad boys do have more confidence, dangerous, exciting, and makes women feel like they can do anything by pushing their boundaries. There are many nice guys who are single, any woman who says they dont know any are lieing becuase tehy themselves have many nice guy friends who are single but they seem to not count becuase the attraction isnt there.
If these were bad boys, they would be all over it. I think too many women over think things by reading this list, its simple, quit dating jerks and then you might be treated with respect and find real love. btw, I have to say this, it seems so common, if a guy has a girlfriend and is cheating on her with you, guess what? It just might not work out, he will cheat on you too. David is right as well, times have changed, women here hold the power and can get anything they want from guys if they can quit chasing these bad boys long enough. I can introduce you to many women who are showered with love from almost a 100 guys and are spoiled to death because they have so many good guys who adore them. I dont like that but at least they were smart enough to stay away from the jerks.
Even on this thread, guys like David, Carl, and others are good nice guys. There, now you know some. Im not trying to be mean, its just I see the same crap every week of women complaining about this. CHange your type and you will find whatever you want wether its a one time thing, love, or to be spoiled.
It just makes me mad to see prissy women who are heartless and are spoiled to death buy really nice guys and thise chicks dont deserve the attention they get and then I see great good women who only go after diseased chiminals who beat, cheat, and destroy women's confidence, self esteem and self worth. Stop it.0 -
All guys are after one thing, its what a woman has to offer that determines how long he stays around after hooking up. Women are the players today. Not all choose that road but they have so many choices (like 50a) and men might have like 1-3 choices. Most of my friends are female and they play men all the time. Times have changed, men cant screw women over anymore like thye used to. It seems that women that do get screwed over are the ones who like the bad boys and only look for that type, in that case, they will always get screwed over. I know so many guys who are single and would to meet a good woman. I dont know one single jerk or a hole is is single, weiird how that works.
And I know several great women who are single and would love to meet a good man...
Why is it so hard for the good ones to connect???
Its because the good guys are not the ones who are loud, making fun of others, and are in the back instead of the front in bars and clubs. I dont know why women have such a hard time admitting it, most women like bad boys, they are not attracted to the shyer nice guys. I get why they are, bad boys do have more confidence, dangerous, exciting, and makes women feel like they can do anything by pushing their boundaries. There are many nice guys who are single, any woman who says they dont know any are lieing becuase tehy themselves have many nice guy friends who are single but they seem to not count becuase the attraction isnt there.
If these were bad boys, they would be all over it. I think too many women over think things by reading this list, its simple, quit dating jerks and then you might be treated with respect and find real love. btw, I have to say this, it seems so common, if a guy has a girlfriend and is cheating on her with you, guess what? It just might not work out, he will cheat on you too. David is right as well, times have changed, women here hold the power and can get anything they want from guys if they can quit chasing these bad boys long enough. I can introduce you to many women who are showered with love from almost a 100 guys and are spoiled to death because they have so many good guys who adore them. I dont like that but at least they were smart enough to stay away from the jerks.
Even on this thread, guys like David, Carl, and others are good nice guys. There, now you know some. Im not trying to be mean, its just I see the same crap every week of women complaining about this. CHange your type and you will find whatever you want wether its a one time thing, love, or to be spoiled.
It just makes me mad to see prissy women who are heartless and are spoiled to death buy really nice guys and thise chicks dont deserve the attention they get and then I see great good women who only go after diseased chiminals who beat, cheat, and destroy women's confidence, self esteem and self worth. Stop it.
Wow. Sounds like you know some pretty mixed-up women. The women I know, including myself, are not necessarily going after bad boys. Perhaps, for some of us, yes, we've had our dealings with the bad boys and now choose to remain single because we honestly do not know any single good guys.
I live in a small town. I'm a teacher. I work with kids all day. I go home to kids. I spend time with family and friends, and I go to church. I don't go to bars or clubs, except maybe once in a blue moon. To say that we all know good single men but that we aren't attracted to them is a farce. Personally, I know very few single men. Many of my close friends are married.
Okay, so maybe I just answered my own question. It's hard for me and people like me to connect with other "good" people because of our circumstances.
And it can go both ways. Maybe the men aren't attracted to the "good" women for whatever reason.
Even online... okay, so there are some great men on this site... there are great women on this site... unfortunately, distance plays a role too.
And some "good" women just don't make the first move. Period. So, if all the "good" guys are too shy to talk to the "Good" women, then, I guess we're all in trouble.
I'm not complaining necessarily. There are some great men out there. I know this. You seem like a nice guy.
I was just pointing out that it is hard to connect sometimes...0 -
Its not just based on the people I know, there are books, studies, and stats that show that times and trends have changed. Women are becoming like the men of the 90s and down and the men are becoming like women. Men are wearing skinny jeans, crying, pushing marriage on the first date, going to the spa, loves shopping, choosing skinny with no muscle tone, buying small cars, choosing to throw a Frisbee instead of a football, so much more. WOmen are buiking up, more into the one night stands, becoming vulgar, telling dirty jokes, tougher than they used to be. I cant even do the extreme workout plans that alot of women do now. They are not messing around. Women dont want to marry as early as they used(now its in their mid 30s to 40s) to and the men want to in their early twenties, men write most of the love songs, romance movies, and poems,
Times are changing. DOnt take my word for it, look it up. Also keep in mind, women idolize the Kardashains, Snookie, chicks from the Hills, Katy Perry, and Jenna MArbles who teaches them to be lets just say not nice to men and that they are a real princess.Women who idolize them are hard to approach. I have a friend who looks like Dane Cook and women go crazy over him but when he just says hi, they are mean to him. Most will say "ugh, how dare you talk to me without buying me a drink" and if you dont look like Cook then they just reply "Ugh, gross and laugh at you". Poor guys, ive see this all the time. WHy cant they just say "Hi" back. I dont ever approach them, I ignore them and for some reason, they will come up and say hi to me. its weird. Go downtown in any major city, you will see it and will hate it.. Its changed alot since when me and you were younger.
I think its awesome that you are different and I will say there are many nice guys who would love to meet you. If you lived closer, I so would hook you up. You just need to get yourself out there. I know that is hard because you are in the country and have kidsso its hard to get out more. You def should do the online thing, there are 4 times more guys than women on dating sites, the sites actually have the numbers, public information. You seem like a great woman like some others ive met on here. Ive met more nice women on here than ive ever have ever in my life. They are just nicer on here.
Sorry for blabbering on, im a research geek. I research everything and am full of stupid facts. Also, ive drank quit abit tonight
Im not defending me, i am alcoholic and not that great of a guy but I love my friends and people and hate how so many guys get treated like crap and cheated on for attention. Ive been on both sides, the bad boy and the nice guy, yeah, women def love the bad boys way more. Ive had so many women to love me and I didnt deserve them, the good guys on here do.0 -
Why would you stay the night if you just wanted sex?
However, our quick poll of male daters revealed that most men would want to “treat you” and “be the man” on a first date if they wanted a relationship. “I’d only ask a woman to go Dutch if I didn’t care what she thought of me,” says Simon, 38. “We’d split the bill, have sex and say goodbye in the morning. Casual and independent.”0 -
precisely why I am not bothering getting to know anyone right now....
I seem to be always be interested in the wrong type of men. I have been hurt a LOT.
They seem too complex and generally after one thing. They do my head in! so I can't be bothered with them right now. I have been single for most of my life so am quite used to it.
Oh plus I am moving over to Canada so what is the point? :P0 -
Why would you stay the night if you just wanted sex?
However, our quick poll of male daters revealed that most men would want to “treat you” and “be the man” on a first date if they wanted a relationship. “I’d only ask a woman to go Dutch if I didn’t care what she thought of me,” says Simon, 38. “We’d split the bill, have sex and say goodbye in the morning. Casual and independent.”
To sleep?
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All guys are after one thing, its what a woman has to offer that determines how long he stays around after hooking up.
Actually, what I've been taught is that all guys are after "one thing" (and a woman should be happy he finds her attractive) and it's what adventures they do together while he is pursuing that "one thing" that builds in him an emotional connection to the woman.
Guys? what say you?
What builds an emotional connection is a feeling that I can trust her. She is not manipulative and that I am getting or going to get my sexual needs met without some ulterior motive. The very nature of what you have been taught smacks in the face of all that. It is withholding sex in order to manipulate the situation so you feel more secure that your needs will be met. If I figured out that was what you were doing or even suspected that was what you were doing, I'd drop you in a heart beat. I probably wouldn't even talk to you again after making that decision.
Wow...really? So every time a woman is waiting a bit for sex it's because she's manipulating you? I'm sorry, but last time I checked I couldn't make a grown man do anything he didn't want to do...including waiting for sex.
Can't a woman just be waiting for sex because a) she knows if she dtd too soon most (American) guys will think she's trashy and be less likely to want to develop a relationship, b) because she knows men don't develop emotional feelings as quickly as she does and since she wants to experience the emotional connection that intensifies sex she, then, wants to delay having sex until they know each other a little better, or c) for her the greater sexual enjoyment comes from a committed relationship.
All women aren't just using sex to manipulate a man. Some are really trying to find the sex that is most fulfilling for them. I think I'm not the only one on this forum that needs Anna's advice to approach all future partners with a clean slate.0 -
I think that's pushing it a bit to say that men are wimps and that women have become hardcore.Women are becoming like the men of the 90s and down and the men are becoming like women. Men are wearing skinny jeans, crying, pushing marriage on the first date, going to the spa, loves shopping, choosing skinny with no muscle tone, buying small cars, choosing to throw a Frisbee instead of a football, so much more. WOmen are buiking up, more into the one night stands, becoming vulgar, telling dirty jokes, tougher than they used to be. I cant even do the extreme workout plans that alot of women do now. They are not messing around. Women dont want to marry as early as they used(now its in their mid 30s to 40s) to and the men want to in their early twenties, men write most of the love songs, romance movies, and poems,
Although I agree that men are maybe more in tune with their feminine side (and it's a big maybe! Because romanticism wasn't invented yesterday... But hundreds of years ago, when you could see men making extreme displays of sensibility), I still see women crying more often that men, they are still the ones whose emotions can overwhelm them at any instant and they still ask for a shoulder to rest on when they feel low.
Now, women are more independent today, that's a fact, and that's how it should be: 100 years ago women couldn't vote, couldn't work, couldn't chose to have sex without having children, had to find a husband and shut up, weren't necessarily sexually satisfied (if you want to understand what I'm talking about, look at some African or Arabian countries).
You don't have to go after a bulked up woman who tells you dirty jokes all the time if that's not what you want though.
Well, they've got a list of suitors longer than my arm and are constantly surrounded by men trying to chat them. Of course the man playing a different strategy (ignoring them, even making fun of them) is going to be a winner.Times are changing. DOnt take my word for it, look it up. Also keep in mind, women idolize the Kardashains, Snookie, chicks from the Hills, Katy Perry, and Jenna MArbles who teaches them to be lets just say not nice to men and that they are a real princess.Women who idolize them are hard to approach. I have a friend who looks like Dane Cook and women go crazy over him but when he just says hi, they are mean to him. Most will say "ugh, how dare you talk to me without buying me a drink" and if you dont look like Cook then they just reply "Ugh, gross and laugh at you". Poor guys, ive see this all the time. WHy cant they just say "Hi" back. I dont ever approach them, I ignore them and for some reason, they will come up and say hi to me. its weird. Go downtown in any major city, you will see it and will hate it..
That's "PUA strategy 101": she thinks she's a princess, then push her out of her boundaries, make her feel uncomfortable. I'd also assume these girls are "hot", "attractive" females so they get lots of attention for their look, which you should thus ignore ("I'm oblivious to your look, to me you're just a silly girl and I bash you as I would bash any girl").
Actually, I would even go as far as saying that these girls are the most tame when in a relationship...
You'll be glad to learn that there are more females in our Western societies:I think its awesome that you are different and I will say there are many nice guys who would love to meet you. If you lived closer, I so would hook you up. You just need to get yourself out there. I know that is hard because you are in the country and have kidsso its hard to get out more. You def should do the online thing, there are 4 times more guys than women on dating sites, the sites actually have the numbers, public information. You seem like a great woman like some others ive met on here. Ive met more nice women on here than ive ever have ever in my life. They are just nicer on here.
Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_sex_ratio
Dating sites are quite bad, it's true - so look into other avenues, or consider it for what it is: a passive and quick way of contacting women.
The problem is that the terminology "Nice guys" and "Bad boys" is not really accurate.Ive been on both sides, the bad boy and the nice guy, yeah, women def love the bad boys way more. Ive had so many women to love me and I didnt deserve them, the good guys on here do.
It's not that women like "bad boys" as in men that will cheat on them, slap them in the face every time they don't want to shut up, steal their money and abandon them with the kids, women like to be treated OK too (although admittedly a lot of women end up in such situations, but I think this is for others reasons - because they are inexperienced and ignorant of what will happen as they are too young when they get in these relationships, because they need a lot more than we do on the emotional side of things and society is putting pressure on them to get in a relationship so it is harder for them to say "no" to these pushes).
This kind of guy is called a "loser".
But they don't want someone either who is kissing their *kitten* all the time, they want someone who can surprise them, independent who can stand by themselves and even contradict them (if they have a good reason for it).
"Nice Guy" is not a nice guy, he is an "*kitten* kisser", a "suck up"... You know, these people you want to slap because they annoy the fvck out of you?
So when you clarify the terminology you end up saying: Women do you prefer "losers" or "*kitten* kissers"? Now I guess you get mixed opinions on this... But neither is truly satisfying.
There is a middle ground, and I will tell you right now the big secret - what this middle ground is. You need to be...
At this point, the text stops suddenly. One can only assume the author died.0 -
At this point, the text stops suddenly. One can only assume the author died.
[/quote]
That would be sad because the author is quite intuitive. Are you sure you aren't a girl posing as a man on MFP? Hmmm...
If I partnered with someone who was "yes dear" all the time, I'd lose my mind. I'm sure men could say the same. People like a challenge, but deserve to be treated with respect. Plus men who are filled with romantic gestures, particularly in the beginning phase seem (in my experience) to be narcissists. I'd much rather be alone than partner with an emotionally needed man who thinks flowers fix everything! Bleh.
I suck at quoting so we'll see how this post looks in 5, 4, 3...0 -
1. What? If men look you in the eye it means he only wants to sleep with you? Come on, lots of people are great at eye contact. It might say something if he's great at eye contact with your boobs.
2. No. Most players will let the woman do most of the talking and they know how to make it so the woman actually tries to impress them. It's like the Jedi mind trick.
3. Usually, or he will try to use it to his advantage. "Oh your dog died? Maybe you'd feel better if my penis was in you"
4. Um...if you meet him in a bar, his friends are the ones keeping your friends occupied
5. Seriously? Every time I give a woman a chance to pick a date venue they say "I don't care, whatever you want." Women like guys to take charge a little bit and make decisions. Maybe if he took you to a strip club you should be worried.
6. No, I just think it would be a little weird and uncomfortable if someone gave me a gift within the first few dates.
7. He could be a player, or he could just be cheap. A player would actually buy you drinks just so he could roofie you.
8. A little bit of touching doesn't mean much, only that he's attracted to you. But if he's groping you on the first date and you are comfortable with it you probably deserve to get played.
9. Yes, if he doesn't call after sex it probably means he's a player. I know, very enlightening.
But the truth is, if you sleep with a guy on a first date it doesn't necessarily mean he's a player. It just mean's you're not exactly the kind of girl he wants to bring home to mom if you catch my drift.0 -
I'd rather see Watchmen than a chick flick ...0
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All guys are after one thing, its what a woman has to offer that determines how long he stays around after hooking up.
Actually, what I've been taught is that all guys are after "one thing" (and a woman should be happy he finds her attractive) and it's what adventures they do together while he is pursuing that "one thing" that builds in him an emotional connection to the woman.
Guys? what say you?
What builds an emotional connection is a feeling that I can trust her. She is not manipulative and that I am getting or going to get my sexual needs met without some ulterior motive. The very nature of what you have been taught smacks in the face of all that. It is withholding sex in order to manipulate the situation so you feel more secure that your needs will be met. If I figured out that was what you were doing or even suspected that was what you were doing, I'd drop you in a heart beat. I probably wouldn't even talk to you again after making that decision.
Wow...really? So every time a woman is waiting a bit for sex it's because she's manipulating you? I'm sorry, but last time I checked I couldn't make a grown man do anything he didn't want to do...including waiting for sex.
Can't a woman just be waiting for sex because a) she knows if she dtd too soon most (American) guys will think she's trashy and be less likely to want to develop a relationship, b) because she knows men don't develop emotional feelings as quickly as she does and since she wants to experience the emotional connection that intensifies sex she, then, wants to delay having sex until they know each other a little better, or c) for her the greater sexual enjoyment comes from a committed relationship.
All women aren't just using sex to manipulate a man. Some are really trying to find the sex that is most fulfilling for them. I think I'm not the only one on this forum that needs Anna's advice to approach all future partners with a clean slate.
Sorry Janie, I read your post to imply that the reason to wait wasn't because you didn't want to have sex but because withholding sex better insures the emotional connection you desire. I do not agree with that. I find it very manipulative and self serving. I don't think many women would find it appealing to be with a man who withholds emotional connection unless he gets sex but somehow the opposite seems to be fine. At some point being in a relationship requires taking a risk to be vulnerable. If you don't trust your instincts well enough to do that, perhaps you'd be better served to work on your instincts.
I also think the dtd too soon and lose respect is pretty much a garbage argument. My opinion of any woman isn't going to change because we did or did not have sex too soon. If like her and admire her, I like her and admire her. The opposite is more likely to take place. If I am dating someone and it takes too long, I am likely to lose interest and respect for her. Waiting for long periods of time generally means a greater inhibition and poorer self image. Those traits are important not because of the sex but because they manifest themselves in every aspect of the woman's persona. I am not all that interested in a timid gal who needs excessive reassurance that her flaws are fine.0 -
I'm not a player, I just *kitten* a lot. :laugh:
#bigpun0 -
But the truth is, if you sleep with a guy on a first date it doesn't necessarily mean he's a player. It just mean's you're not exactly the kind of girl he wants to bring home to mom if you catch my drift.
I actually agree with this statement. When I think of a player, I think of someone who portrays himself to be something he is NOT just for the challenge of it... to get laid or to add to his number or for whatever reason... I, however, do not think of the guy who lets you know up front that all he wants is sex or even the guy who "got lucky" after meeting a woman at a bar or on the first date. Some guys get labeled "player" unfairly because, honestly, many times the women are just as willing to jump into bed with these so called "players" and then whine about it when he doesn't call the next day.0 -
But the truth is, if you sleep with a guy on a first date it doesn't necessarily mean he's a player. It just mean's you're not exactly the kind of girl he wants to bring home to mom if you catch my drift.
I actually agree with this statement. When I think of a player, I think of someone who portrays himself to be something he is NOT just for the challenge of it... to get laid or to add to his number or for whatever reason... I, however, do not think of the guy who lets you know up front that all he wants is sex or even the guy who "got lucky" after meeting a woman at a bar or on the first date. Some guys get labeled "player" unfairly because, honestly, many times the women are just as willing to jump into bed with these so called "players" and then whine about it when he doesn't call the next day.
Oh I agree. There is a definite distinction between a player and a guy who got lucky!!
A player is a conniving, manipulative liar!0
