I'd like to get all your thoughts on this
Options
Replies
-
Some sound advice you all give!! Well I already agreed to meet for lunch and I'm curious, so I'm going to that. I think you all are right on this though and I should walk in the end, I will keep this advice in the front of my mind the whole time. I will try my best to drag out her intentions for our library of furoms and get you all an update tomorrow.
$5 says I can get her to pay for lunch!!0 -
More than likely, she's hit a drought in dating and figured you'd be good for a short spin.
Well the good news is... she's F'n hot and the sex was good, so I'd be down for that short spin!
but thats not gonna help you get over her either. Its like giving alcohol to a guy in AA just a bad idea.. Resist temptation
Well how do you think I started drinking again?! jk. So what do you think her play is here?? She has a slew of guys that would bow at her feet, she doesn't need me for attention.
I read something somewhere about women the other day that you might find interesting (note I'm a women and I dont mean all women so dont rip my head off)
Women treat men they've left like shoes in thier closet. Yes the shoe is last season and so you've thrown it to the back of your closet. But every once in a while you take out those shoes and put them back on just to see if they still look good...
She might be feeling nostalgic about you guys right now and wants to try on those "shoes again"
She's wearing the used shoes while she shops for new ones. He'll be the same f'n shoe, but she'll have it in her mind he's better.
F her unconscious and walk.
Once again, I concur! So what she wants to take an old favorite for a nostalgia ride!!! Enjoy the ride, have a great time, just know you will be replaced by a new shiny toy at some point. Doesn't mean you can't have fun in the meantime.0 -
Do you love her...... If you love her, find a way to work it out, even if it means therapy. Sometimes when someone behaves erraticaly, there are deep reasons which need to be brought to light and healed.0
-
Some sound advice you all give!! Well I already agreed to meet for lunch and I'm curious, so I'm going to that. I think you all are right on this though and I should walk in the end, I will keep this advice in the front of my mind the whole time. I will try my best to drag out her intentions for our library of furoms and get you all an update tomorrow.
$5 says I can get her to pay for lunch!!
I won't take that bet, haha, but good luck. I meant to jump in earlier and share that I get what you're sharing. I had an ex that was totally hot, the guy all my coworkers wanted, etc... and every time I tried to make things progress, he'd pull away. We were together almost a year before I got wise and pulled away for real I thought. Yet the attraction led me back when things didn't work out with someone else... he knew what I liked and what to say. So I kept reopening that door and he'd happily take me back in. (Don't laugh) 5 years of back and forth went by before I finally shut the door... and damn, if he didn't come barging back in suddenly begging me for a relationship just a few weeks ago! I told him to back the hell off and then stopped responding. I don't need that drama. I know that now... wish it hadn't taken a total of almost 6-7 years to realize it.
I share all that because I feel like I've been on both sides of your situation. Both people are filling their needs without really caring about the others. Fine for a while if you're good with that... but not healthy long term. Good luck figuring out what you want!0 -
Funnily enough I'm sort of in the same situation. Same circumstances cept no other guy involved but she has just started texting me a bit and moved in up the road from me.
Needless to say. Not going there.
I suggest you do the same! Dont even do the whole sex thing.. will just complicate shiz that doesnt need to be complicated.0 -
Not read all the replies but just to add a slightly different persepective - if she wanted you to get serious and you were close to her son then in all likelihood she has strong feelings for you and is being genuine. The thing is, it takes more than this to have a healthy relationship. Your doubt was about whether you were ready to handle parental responsibilities, that's much more easily resolved than her doubts. For some people, the fears they have about relationships are far more fundamental. They are scared to be vulnerable in relationship and often it presents as just this pattern of pursuit when the other person seems not to be available and retreat when they are. The cause of these difficulties is often to be found in early childhood patterns of attachment to others. If she has this problem, then unless she has recognised and dealt with this, the pattern may well continue. The confusing thing for people involved with someone with these kind of issues, is that they convince themselves that the other person doesn't care and then get confused and won over again when it's clear they do. I'm afraid it's more a case of love not being enough, in situations like this.0
-
. The confusing thing for people involved with someone with these kind of issues, is that they convince themselves that the other person doesn't care and then get confused and won over again when it's clear they do. I'm afraid it's more a case of love not being enough, in situations like this.
Hi Lorro! Not sure I follow this - please elaborate??? Thanks so much for the words of compassion! I think sometimes on these forums we tend to think of relationships as "commodities" in a consumer culture. There is so much more to Love than this.0 -
I think you will want to contact the girl, then... She's the one who needs therapy, not him.Do you love her...... If you love her, find a way to work it out, even if it means therapy. Sometimes when someone behaves erraticaly, there are deep reasons which need to be brought to light and healed.0 -
Don't do it! (Shouting this through a megaphone) It would be the beginning of a vicious cycle that lasts for 3 years until you finally realize you're enabling her to f**k with you emotionally! Um, sorry, bad memories!0
-
Some people only want what they can't or don't have. She wanted you until you were ready to get serious, that might be a sign that she's one of those people. In which case, move on and find someone who wants what she can have.0
-
I don't have anything new to add, as I agree with some of the other posts, but I am curious to see how the lunch pans out for you?
Good luck!0 -
I know a lot of times men and women both will get back together with someone they are familiar with because they are horny know what the sex is like and generally know the other person is safe. That's probably all it is. I've only had one time where an ex wanted to meet with me more than a year after our split. We ended up drinking and having a wild night. I told me brother about meeting up with her and being suprised by what happened. He laughed his *kitten* off and asked me if I knew her wedding was the next Saturday. I guess she was just wantng to say an extra special goodbye before settling down.0
-
I'm thinking she just want's a different convenience bf0
-
In all likelihood this will (again) end in heartache for you. As long as you can keep your feelings in check you might be ok, which will probably be a damn hard thing to do. Tread lightly bruv and don't forget there are plenty of other hot *kitten* women out there that can and will treat you better!0
-
Wow! Again, you guys and gals are extremely helpful. I wish I had single peeps when the relationship ended!! So I did leave a few things out in my original post, but a few of you ladies nailed it on the head anyway. She has had every bad thing happen to her that a man can do to a woman... think the worst. And that is where a lot of her behavior of getting scared in the end came from. She does get help for those issues and you would never be able to tell that anything is wrong with her.
The other thing I left out is that I backed out on her twice, never anything to do with another woman or anything like that. The first time was the kid issue and the second was a bout of depression that I was dealing with due to the economy and the possibility of losing my house (I got to keep it in the end!!). So in her defense she did give me two chances, just never let her heart get involved the last time around.
As for the lunch I had to reschedule as a work obligation came up, she asked if we could reschedule for Wednesday... F me and my love for playing with fire :devil:0 -
It sounds like she is just keeping you on the 'back burner' so to speak...Her go to guy when she is lonely b/c she knows that you ALWAYS come back to her when SHE needs you!!
I would definitely say to MOVE ON...Don't see her or answer her texts...So that you can get over her...Don't even read the damn things b/c she is just stringing you along...And this is coming from a girl...She is just going to keep doing this over and over until she finds the man she really wants to be with for life and then you are history anyways...So, go find someone else or just be single and have fun...You only live once, don't get your heart broken over and over again by someone who obviously doesn't deserve you!!
Just my opinion though...Good luck!!!
ETA: Just remember that EVERYTHING happens for a reason and for whatever reason you two are not meant to be...Always on different pages of what the other wants at the time....Someone better will come your way when you are not looking...
0 -
Wow! Again, you guys and gals are extremely helpful. I wish I had single peeps when the relationship ended!! So I did leave a few things out in my original post, but a few of you ladies nailed it on the head anyway. She has had every bad thing happen to her that a man can do to a woman... think the worst. And that is where a lot of her behavior of getting scared in the end came from. She does get help for those issues and you would never be able to tell that anything is wrong with her.
The other thing I left out is that I backed out on her twice, never anything to do with another woman or anything like that. The first time was the kid issue and the second was a bout of depression that I was dealing with due to the economy and the possibility of losing my house (I got to keep it in the end!!). So in her defense she did give me two chances, just never let her heart get involved the last time around.
As for the lunch I had to reschedule as a work obligation came up, she asked if we could reschedule for Wednesday... F me and my love for playing with fire :devil:
Weeeeeeeeeeeeellllllllllllllllllllllllllll????????????? We're waiting............ :bigsmile:0 -
Well not much to report on a lunch. She is without her car right now as it's in the shop... it's legit I've known her since 3rd grade we have friends in common I checked with. However in her email to tell me this and reschedule, she put: sorry I'm a bad "friend"... well something about the word friend got some emotions stirring in me and I responded with this:
Hey, why don't we just call off this whole lunch thing... not because of your recent problems, I know those are legit. Meeting up with you has drummed up some of the old feelings I had a year ago and at this time I just don't feel like a "friend" will work for me. As you know it took a lot for me to get through last year... I'm really sorry Erin
She responded that it made her feel really sad and she didn't know what to say. And then sent another that she understood, there was a lot she should have told me and never did. So kind of a sad day for me, I've never told anyone in my life I didn't want to be their friend, especially someone I've known for 22 years! Maybe someday I will get to a point I can see her that way... but that day isn't today.
This was totally unplanned but, I feel I did the right thing for me... just sucks because I feel terrible for telling someone I care about so much, that I can't be their friend.0 -
This was totally unplanned but, I feel I did the right thing for me... just sucks because I feel terrible for telling someone I care about so much, that I can't be their friend.
Way to be strong!0 -
Wow! that brought tears to my eyes Jim
I think you're a lovely guy and this girl just know's she's pulling at your heart strings. She's playing games that I dont approver of! I'd like to punch her for you!! :laugh:
I think you did the right thing. Move on and find someone who reciprocates :flowerforyou:
Sorry that I opened this thread again now; I was expecting better news, or at least a lunchtime shag!!!
0
