I'd like to get all your thoughts on this
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I don't have anything new to add, as I agree with some of the other posts, but I am curious to see how the lunch pans out for you?
Good luck!0 -
I know a lot of times men and women both will get back together with someone they are familiar with because they are horny know what the sex is like and generally know the other person is safe. That's probably all it is. I've only had one time where an ex wanted to meet with me more than a year after our split. We ended up drinking and having a wild night. I told me brother about meeting up with her and being suprised by what happened. He laughed his *kitten* off and asked me if I knew her wedding was the next Saturday. I guess she was just wantng to say an extra special goodbye before settling down.0
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I'm thinking she just want's a different convenience bf0
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In all likelihood this will (again) end in heartache for you. As long as you can keep your feelings in check you might be ok, which will probably be a damn hard thing to do. Tread lightly bruv and don't forget there are plenty of other hot *kitten* women out there that can and will treat you better!0
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Wow! Again, you guys and gals are extremely helpful. I wish I had single peeps when the relationship ended!! So I did leave a few things out in my original post, but a few of you ladies nailed it on the head anyway. She has had every bad thing happen to her that a man can do to a woman... think the worst. And that is where a lot of her behavior of getting scared in the end came from. She does get help for those issues and you would never be able to tell that anything is wrong with her.
The other thing I left out is that I backed out on her twice, never anything to do with another woman or anything like that. The first time was the kid issue and the second was a bout of depression that I was dealing with due to the economy and the possibility of losing my house (I got to keep it in the end!!). So in her defense she did give me two chances, just never let her heart get involved the last time around.
As for the lunch I had to reschedule as a work obligation came up, she asked if we could reschedule for Wednesday... F me and my love for playing with fire :devil:0 -
It sounds like she is just keeping you on the 'back burner' so to speak...Her go to guy when she is lonely b/c she knows that you ALWAYS come back to her when SHE needs you!!
I would definitely say to MOVE ON...Don't see her or answer her texts...So that you can get over her...Don't even read the damn things b/c she is just stringing you along...And this is coming from a girl...She is just going to keep doing this over and over until she finds the man she really wants to be with for life and then you are history anyways...So, go find someone else or just be single and have fun...You only live once, don't get your heart broken over and over again by someone who obviously doesn't deserve you!!
Just my opinion though...Good luck!!!
ETA: Just remember that EVERYTHING happens for a reason and for whatever reason you two are not meant to be...Always on different pages of what the other wants at the time....Someone better will come your way when you are not looking...
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Wow! Again, you guys and gals are extremely helpful. I wish I had single peeps when the relationship ended!! So I did leave a few things out in my original post, but a few of you ladies nailed it on the head anyway. She has had every bad thing happen to her that a man can do to a woman... think the worst. And that is where a lot of her behavior of getting scared in the end came from. She does get help for those issues and you would never be able to tell that anything is wrong with her.
The other thing I left out is that I backed out on her twice, never anything to do with another woman or anything like that. The first time was the kid issue and the second was a bout of depression that I was dealing with due to the economy and the possibility of losing my house (I got to keep it in the end!!). So in her defense she did give me two chances, just never let her heart get involved the last time around.
As for the lunch I had to reschedule as a work obligation came up, she asked if we could reschedule for Wednesday... F me and my love for playing with fire :devil:
Weeeeeeeeeeeeellllllllllllllllllllllllllll????????????? We're waiting............ :bigsmile:0 -
Well not much to report on a lunch. She is without her car right now as it's in the shop... it's legit I've known her since 3rd grade we have friends in common I checked with. However in her email to tell me this and reschedule, she put: sorry I'm a bad "friend"... well something about the word friend got some emotions stirring in me and I responded with this:
Hey, why don't we just call off this whole lunch thing... not because of your recent problems, I know those are legit. Meeting up with you has drummed up some of the old feelings I had a year ago and at this time I just don't feel like a "friend" will work for me. As you know it took a lot for me to get through last year... I'm really sorry Erin
She responded that it made her feel really sad and she didn't know what to say. And then sent another that she understood, there was a lot she should have told me and never did. So kind of a sad day for me, I've never told anyone in my life I didn't want to be their friend, especially someone I've known for 22 years! Maybe someday I will get to a point I can see her that way... but that day isn't today.
This was totally unplanned but, I feel I did the right thing for me... just sucks because I feel terrible for telling someone I care about so much, that I can't be their friend.0 -
This was totally unplanned but, I feel I did the right thing for me... just sucks because I feel terrible for telling someone I care about so much, that I can't be their friend.
Way to be strong!0 -
Wow! that brought tears to my eyes Jim
I think you're a lovely guy and this girl just know's she's pulling at your heart strings. She's playing games that I dont approver of! I'd like to punch her for you!! :laugh:
I think you did the right thing. Move on and find someone who reciprocates :flowerforyou:
Sorry that I opened this thread again now; I was expecting better news, or at least a lunchtime shag!!!
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It's ok Anna, I wasn't expecting to do that either.... she should have just gone to the original lunch last week! I hold no ill feelings toward her, she only gets one life and has to do what she feels is best for her.... I guess I did what I felt was best for me!
In better Jim news.... my friend Kristi is back in MN looking hot and looking for comfort after a failed modeling career in Cali, this week could pan out yet :bigsmile:0 -
It's ok Anna, I wasn't expecting to do that either.... she should have just gone to the original lunch last week! I hold no ill feelings toward her, she only gets one life and has to do what she feels is best for her.... I guess I did what I felt was best for me!
In better Jim news.... my friend Kristi is back in MN looking hot and looking for comfort after a failed modeling career in Cali, this week could pan out yet :bigsmile:
thats right lol theres always another one0 -
It's ok Anna, I wasn't expecting to do that either.... she should have just gone to the original lunch last week! I hold no ill feelings toward her, she only gets one life and has to do what she feels is best for her.... I guess I did what I felt was best for me!
In better Jim news.... my friend Kristi is back in MN looking hot and looking for comfort after a failed modeling career in Cali, this week could pan out yet :bigsmile:
I'm glad that you did what was best for you. It sounds like she is just stringing you along and if even for sex do you want to deal with those emotions all the time. I have a friend who is dating this guy who is crazy about her... adores her... but she tells me all the time she's just with him until she meets someone better. I understand where she is coming from but I don't treat people that way. Maybe this girl is doing the same to you... even if you have known her a long time you made the right choice for now.0 -
In better Jim news.... my friend Kristi is back in MN looking hot and looking for comfort after a failed modeling career in Cali, this week could pan out yet :bigsmile:
Sounds like things are on the up! Not easy, but best to keep moving forward for you. Life is too short! :flowerforyou:0 -
In better Jim news.... my friend Kristi is back in MN looking hot and looking for comfort after a failed modeling career in Cali, this week could pan out yet :bigsmile:
Wooooooo hooooooooooooooooooooooo!! Way to get over it! :bigsmile:0 -
In better Jim news.... my friend Kristi is back in MN looking hot and looking for comfort after a failed modeling career in Cali, this week could pan out yet :bigsmile:
Haha! I'd take you over Andrew Keegan any day too!0 -
. The confusing thing for people involved with someone with these kind of issues, is that they convince themselves that the other person doesn't care and then get confused and won over again when it's clear they do. I'm afraid it's more a case of love not being enough, in situations like this.
Hi Lorro! Not sure I follow this - please elaborate??? Thanks so much for the words of compassion! I think sometimes on these forums we tend to think of relationships as "commodities" in a consumer culture. There is so much more to Love than this.
Sorry for the delayed reply and thanks for your kind words! :flowerforyou: Totally agree the the commodification of relationships, though I think people tend to find out the hard way that it's futile to approach love this way.
To elaborate, if your partner does something to damage the relationship then you are likely to interpret this as rejection or lack of love on their part. But sometimes this isn't why they did it, sometimes they did it because they can't bear to feel vulnerable in a relationship. This becomes obvious from their reaction when you try and end it, so then you think - well I was mistaken, they do love me after all, so they won't do that again. But they do, because lack of love was not the reason they behaved this way.0 -
Well not much to report on a lunch. She is without her car right now as it's in the shop... it's legit I've known her since 3rd grade we have friends in common I checked with. However in her email to tell me this and reschedule, she put: sorry I'm a bad "friend"... well something about the word friend got some emotions stirring in me and I responded with this:
Hey, why don't we just call off this whole lunch thing... not because of your recent problems, I know those are legit. Meeting up with you has drummed up some of the old feelings I had a year ago and at this time I just don't feel like a "friend" will work for me. As you know it took a lot for me to get through last year... I'm really sorry Erin
She responded that it made her feel really sad and she didn't know what to say. And then sent another that she understood, there was a lot she should have told me and never did. So kind of a sad day for me, I've never told anyone in my life I didn't want to be their friend, especially someone I've known for 22 years! Maybe someday I will get to a point I can see her that way... but that day isn't today.
This was totally unplanned but, I feel I did the right thing for me... just sucks because I feel terrible for telling someone I care about so much, that I can't be their friend.It's ok Anna, I wasn't expecting to do that either.... she should have just gone to the original lunch last week! I hold no ill feelings toward her, she only gets one life and has to do what she feels is best for her.... I guess I did what I felt was best for me!
In better Jim news.... my friend Kristi is back in MN looking hot and looking for comfort after a failed modeling career in Cali, this week could pan out yet :bigsmile:
Good call :flowerforyou: Jim, you both care about each other. That remains even if you don't see each other. You haven't lost that and it's way more than friendship. There's no way a friendship in these circumstances would have worked and I doubt it was what she was seeking. It sounds like she has a lot of regrets for what may have been but if anything is to come of this, she'll have to show she can say all those things she wishes she'd said a year ago. I doubt she will.
Have fun with Kristi, far safer! :happy:0
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