I need to stop displacing my anger on my husband

JessePaige90

I use to have this problem with getting angry at my husband when he would tell me how great he thinks I look, especially on days when I felt really fat and ugly. I would take all the frustration I had with myself out on him. I would tell him he was lying or just being nice. I would even ask him not to say those things because I was so depressed that I would basically accuse him of encouraging me to be fat and I would get very mean. It really hurt his feelings, one time he literally almost cried. I haven't had a bad day like that in a while but sometimes I still get upset when he showers me with compliments. In my mind it's like, "How can you love the way I look now? When we first got together I was 103 lbs with DD breasts, now I'm like 155 lbs with DDD breasts and totally disproportionate." I know I probably sound like a superficial jerk but I honestly have no idea what he sees. It's obviously different from what I see but the whole weight gain was just completely overwhelming. I went from being thin all my life to this all because of a stupid pill I no longer take. I was wondering, has anyone else been so insecure that you don't know how to take a compliment anymore?

nannanorem

Its been hard for me, but lately I am trying to accept them. I have lost weight and that has helped my self esteem. My husband finally complimented me on my looks just the other day and that made me feel proud. Before I lost this weight, I hated when he said I looked good because I knew I didn't and I was wondering "what are you after?" "what do you want?" I hated myself and was unhappy and now I know it was because I hated the way I looked. I think he felt secure with me being heavy and now he's afraid since I've lost weight that I might leave him. Try not to take it out on your man. He sounds like a good guy, and believe me, they are hard to find!

JessePaige90

He is a wonderful guy. I have been trying not to take my frustration out on him. I'm not even sure why I get so infuriated with him. I think it may be that I had it in my head that I needed to be as pretty as I was when we got together, that I needed to stay pretty for him. Whenever I would say "I want to be pretty for you" he would be really, really hurt. He hates the idea that I don't believe that he thinks I look good. We haven't gotten into a fight about it in months but I still slip up and say things that hurt his feelings.