How have the 12 steps helped you in OA and in life

casi_ann

Just another thing to ponder about OA and how it helps us. I don't have time to answer my own question because I got up early to get to a meeting this morning. But, curious how others will answer this one.

ThriftyChica12

i could write pages and pages of how the 12 steps helped me in OA and life. but since i am pressed for time, i will do a list.

the 12 steps have helped me:

-learning that i am compulsive eater, and will be for life. never cured, so i ALWAYS need recover.
-learning that there is no right/wrong with understanding and talking to HP...just keep trying, the concept will change over time anyway.
-admitting that i am often wrong, that other people's behavior is not mine to inventory, and that all i can do is set boundaries, keep my side of street clean, do the right thing.
-learning that amends can be healing for me, and has nothing to do with whether another accepts.
-keep checking in with myself and my emotions--recovery is an inside job
-getting abstinent is just a 1st step--there is a world of emotions, relationships, choices, and spiritual practices--that is what defines the serenity of my life

gillleeman

Wow what a thought provoking question!!

I have so much to thank OA for and not sure I can put it all down here, because time has healed so much. Sometimes I look back over the 12 years and think was I really that person?

I felt so alone and the victim of sexual abuse, raised by an alcoholic father (not my abuser) as a child. I had one broken marriage behind me and was singly trying to raise two very young children. I walked into OA having read an article by Geri Haliwell (Spice Girls) in the newspaper. In the article it gave the check-list if you thought you were a compulsive overeater, I ticked nearly all of them, let alone 3!!!! Working through the steps has helped me deal with my deamons, find forgiveness for a lot of things, and make amends where they were needed. Its also allowed me to gain confidence and walk with my head held high instead of wanting to hide with shame and guilt.

For once I feel freedom around food, most of the time, although still suffer with doing it perfectly. I also owe my life to OA, the friendships I've made are the most loving and solid form of friendship I've ever known. I have found so much courage in my life to face new situations, something I never thought I'd be able to do.

I could go on, and on lol.

casi_ann

I'm fairly new to the 12 steps because I haven't stuck with it long enough to allow it to help. What I've noticed by following the steps (the steps i'm willing to follow that is) so far is the feelings that make me want to compulsively eat. I didn't think i ate because of negative feelings. Now I realize I do eat because of bad feelings. The first time I had the urge to break program was a couple days ago when I felt guilt after saying something to someone i care about. It wasn't when I became angry that I wanted to eat, when i became angry i wanted to compulsively flap my mouth and I did. But, afterward, i felt upset with myself for saying the wrong thing once again, I didn't say anything terrible, actually all i did was correct the person in a not so nice way. (In a bossy way) I tried to control her behavior. Like I have the right to correct someone else when I don't have my act together. I felt guilty for hurting this persons feelings who did not deserve it. This guilty feeling and the fear of not being liked because of my big mouth did make me just want to go hide and eat anything I wanted and gave me the feeling why even bother with eating healthy. Sort of crazy thinking. I didn't eat thank goodness, but i finally saw a match with the feeling and the compulsion to eat. I also saw my first compulsive behavior here was with saying or spurting out the wrong thing, speaking without thinking, trying to run other peoples lives when i have a hard time running my own life. Before I did the 12 steps I don't think i would have even payed attention to the feelings. I would have just eaten whatever. I wouldn't have noticed that i was feeling guilty or even why, It was because of OA and the 12 steps that i was looking for the feeling that was causing me to eat the wrong things. I said when i started program that there were no feelings that caused me to want to eat except for boredom. Now I realize I was lying to myself. So far I have found 5 feelings that make me want to eat boredom, feeling lonely, sad, resentful and guilty. The 12 steps have made me realize that it isn't the eating that is my biggest problem but saying things and trying to run other peoples lives instead of just letting things go, things that really don't matter.

I never did the 12 steps in order before, and attempted to do the steps out of order again this time.Sort of jumping around doing the steps i felt were important and leaving out steps. I'm going to go back and do the steps in order because I have a feeling that doing it in order is important. For example, I've made my list of shortcomings, but never really gave them to another person or to God. I never did steps 3,6 or 7 asked god to take these shortcomings from me or give over my will. I made my list of people I harmed and actually made amends with all of the ones that I could find about 2 years ago. Now I have a new list... lol. Luckily this list isn't anywhere as large as the original one was. I didn't continue 10, 11 and 12 either. So I didn't make the 12 steps part of me and didn't really share it. You can't really share what isn't yours. This time I'm going to make the 12 steps and OA part of me. This time OA and the 12 steps are actually more important to me than losing the weight.