IF they didnt like me before Mentality
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Just fat - not teeth or hygiene or looks or anything else!!! :laugh:
Oh yes, so we were! :laugh:0 -
This.I am going to repost what I wrote in another post about who we are intrested in.
I changed more about myself then just my weight so I wouldn't have wanted to date me when I was heavy either. I have a lot of friends that say I smile more and just seem to be a happier person now.The people I am interested in really hasn't changed but the people that are interested in me has grown 10 fold. I was never asked out or hit on while I was heavy. I had 1 date in over 10 years. Am I saying it is all because I was heavy, no. I was unhappy with my life and not active. Now I am happy with my life, active, more out going, ect. Combine that with being average size and it is a lot more appealing to men.
And to the rest of the people for who physical aspect of things should not matter, and they should be loved solely for their amazing personality... I laugh at your foolishness.
I know a hobo, and even though he *kitten* stinks and has got diseases and is full of spot that release puss all the time, he has got an amazing personality. Don't get too wet please. Where you set the physical line is up to you, not up to me, after all.
We don't just hang around with brains. If you're not attracted physically, you're not attracted physically.
Why is physical attraction considered a lesser/shameful kind of attraction? Can anyone reply to that?
And please, oh please, complaining about this is the best way of attracting the kind of bullcrap *YOU* don't want to hear: "No, I'm not ready for a relationship yet!" => you're fat, but at least you're not offended and I still have a chance 10 years down the line if you ever become hot - thanks for the heads up.
Your punishment for this silliness should be to hear all men tell you they are not ready for a relationship, forever, and never know what is true or not.
Florian, nobody's talking about 'physical attraction' per se!! We're JUST talking about WEIGHT!!!
So, assuming you're attracted to someone cos they are pretty, smell nice, make you laugh, nice teeth, kind, generous, no puss (ffs!!! lol)............etc BUT they are on the chubby side of average, are you going to say "I would fancy you if you were thinner" ??
Also, assuming you marry someone for all their attributes and over the years they put on weight, are you going to leave them??
IOW, does fat make that much difference??
Just fat - not teeth or hygiene or looks or anything else!!! :laugh:Why is physical attraction considered a lesser/shameful kind of attraction? Can anyone reply to that?
It's not!! I think you've got the wrong end of the stick. However, if weight is your be all and end all to attraction, then you've got the right end.........:huh:
Thankfully, everyone has their own attract-0-meter!!
But you see it all goes together,to me it is not fair to insinuate a person is "bad" because at a given weight (varies person by person and case by case) a man or woman did not find someone attractive but did when they lost some yet it is okay to have disqualifiers with other physical attributes.0 -
Ok, I'm not trying to be a jerk here, but pleeeeaaaassssseeeee stop saying that guys will only use fat girls for sex. I get it. I really do. I have achieved over half of my goal now, but I realize I'm still overweight. It is so disheartening to read that opinion over and over again and assume that every time a man expresses interest, it's only because he thinks I'm good for sex, not for a relationship. If I were just sitting on my *kitten* doing nothing about my weight, yeah, I can see not having any room to talk, but the fact is, I'm not. I promise, I'm not trying to be a jerk or hate on anyone, it's just that, as someone who has a tendency to think negatively about herself, it just adds fuel to the fire0
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id give them a chance, cuz who knows what might happen, but definitely don't give them an advantage over anyone else that you might consider dating because of the past.
in the past i was either too heavy or too skinny, and how that I am somewhat built(after a ton of hardwork), I wouldn't let the past influence what the present holds.0 -
I've admittedly in my past had that attitude... I see now that it was silly. It's no different than if I as a Christian am expected to be open to dating an atheist. They are lifestyle choices and priorities that don't mesh. If I'm overweight, someone who isn't not only wouldn't likely find me attractive, but most likely our lifestyles don't fit!
I am struggling with that a little more recently from a different perspective though. A lot of guys that message me on POF are larger and less active. I've been there, so I get it, but I'm not looking for that. At the same time, I'm so active yet don't look the part so guys in better shape/ appearance aren't willing to consider me either. Hell, honestly even average or slightly OVER guys won't respond. Seems like a stuck position and has me questioning whether I should be trying to date at this point until I LOOK the part...but then I don't want LOOKS to be the only reason I'm sitting at home assuming no one would be interested. Paradox!!
Dammit, all I want is for someone to buy me dinner in exchange for sex, haha... KIDDING! But seriously, I could be waiting forever until I think I'm "OK" and miss out on something worthwhile...frustrating :grumble: :frown:0 -
I haven't seen anybody agree with that mentality yet. Personally, if I'm not attracted to someone but I like their personality I would rather just be friends with them. I don't want to sleep with someone I'm not really attracted to. If I'm going to use somebody for sex (not that I would obviously) I'd rather use the hot, dumb, boring girls that can't hold a conversation.Ok, I'm not trying to be a jerk here, but pleeeeaaaassssseeeee stop saying that guys will only use fat girls for sex. I get it. I really do. I have achieved over half of my goal now, but I realize I'm still overweight. It is so disheartening to read that opinion over and over again and assume that every time a man expresses interest, it's only because he thinks I'm good for sex, not for a relationship. If I were just sitting on my *kitten* doing nothing about my weight, yeah, I can see not having any room to talk, but the fact is, I'm not. I promise, I'm not trying to be a jerk or hate on anyone, it's just that, as someone who has a tendency to think negatively about herself, it just adds fuel to the fire0 -
Ok, I'm not trying to be a jerk here, but pleeeeaaaassssseeeee stop saying that guys will only use fat girls for sex. I get it. I really do. I have achieved over half of my goal now, but I realize I'm still overweight. It is so disheartening to read that opinion over and over again and assume that every time a man expresses interest, it's only because he thinks I'm good for sex, not for a relationship. If I were just sitting on my *kitten* doing nothing about my weight, yeah, I can see not having any room to talk, but the fact is, I'm not. I promise, I'm not trying to be a jerk or hate on anyone, it's just that, as someone who has a tendency to think negatively about herself, it just adds fuel to the fire
I think people are misinterpretting what has been said. There ARE men who take advantage of women with self esteem issues, which is not uncommon in larger women. When I started losing weight, it was amazing how the creepy guys at the gym suddenly paid me attention. I was a target because as someone who didn't get much notice before, I think they thought I'd give it up more easily because I'd be happy someone noticed me!
I do not think men look to use fat girls for sex but some do...more likely is Roadie's comment above. Why not go for hot and dumb?0 -
Ok, I'm not trying to be a jerk here, but pleeeeaaaassssseeeee stop saying that guys will only use fat girls for sex.
There are plenty of guys who like women who are overweight, who are attracted more to a great personality than to a great figure. There are also plenty of guys who like black women. But guess what I've found? MANY of the guys that have expressed interest in me (back in college or even now as being single for a couple of years) wanted to DATE me and HAVE SEX with me... but they weren't taking me home to Momma. Most of the time that's because of my race, not size, but maybe you should read some PUA books/articles. Will definitely open your eyes.
I can stop saying guys aren't typically attracted to fat girls. Doesn't change reality. I can stop saying guys typically want to sleep with black women and marry a white woman, but that also doesn't change reality. And, even now, though I tell the (honest) truth that I don't know my full ethnicity, I eventually find a way to dig into how a guy feels about black women, because that's the culture I was reared in. And I usually find that the guy would never marry a black woman, though for some reason latina or asian is A-ok.
It doesn't mean I whine about "stop saying most guys don't want black women." It means I accept this, and because of it, maintain my emotions even when the guy appears to be really into me. That way I don't get hurt when he disappears in two weeks after not getting what he wanted. One of the guys I'm getting to know now had been married women who fits multiple ethnicities and was also short and squat-shaped like me. But in the last three years I've only met *3* guys who really preferred my body style. The rest went out with me as filler, because I actually responded online, they wanted to try something new/step outside their comfort zone, or maybe they were just trying to get some.
"Oh, JJ", I hear some say, "you are overreacting. You're just around too many dumb military guys" Hm, well.. I'll let the guys here and on the Chit-Chat forum who have discussed this same question many times speak for themselves. Overwhelmingly size makes a difference in initial attraction and, for a guy (so they say) once a woman is in the friend zone she's pretty much stuck there.
PS: I do keep tab on many of the guys who have expressed interest in me and ...guess what... even the ones who swear they love ethnic women with my shape don't seem to end up with one on their arm in a serious relationship. In fact, I can show you pictures that they all tend to gravitate toward the same type It's actually kinda freaky (and it's why I've been more open to dating guys of other types this time around- obviously I've been picking men who all like a certain type). And when it comes to heavier women... well.0 -
But you see it all goes together,to me it is not fair to insinuate a person is "bad" because at a given weight (varies person by person and case by case) a man or woman did not find someone attractive but did when they lost some yet it is okay to have disqualifiers with other physical attributes.
I hear what you're saying Carl but I was trying to point out to Florian that THIS THREAD was about someone's weight making the difference, not the overall attraction,
Of course we could ask the same question about teeth! And you'll probably get the same kind of responses.
In comparison, Morbidly obese could be the deal breaker. Chubby could be the deciding factor. Slim could be the ultimate.
With teeth, I really dont like bad teeth. But by bad, I mean BAD!! Like black and decayed!! Crooked teeth or one odd veneer missing or slightly discoloured through smoking, dont bother me.
So overall there are different things that turn different people off, I think. And if a few extra pounds is one of them, then fair enough :flowerforyou:0 -
I've known a few men who liked their women so bone skinny they shouldn't date anyone who isn't naturally that way. They're a rare bunch, but I wouldn't want to date one of those even at the lowest end of my weight when I know fluctuating just 10 pounds might freak him out.
I feel the same way. A guy had in his dating profile if you’re bigger than average don’t email me. I didn’t get mad, I was glad not to waste my time.
I don't fault a guy for being attracted to the skinny-skinny girl, but I do get frustrated when that guy complains he can't get a date without acknowledging that his preference is part of the problem. And I know this from experience, as I am more attracted to white or light-skinned guys and few of those are actually interested in taking a black girl home to momma.
Even though that’s my preference, I won’t kick an ebony brotha to the curb, though, because my desire isn’t just about physical attraction. And most black guys think I’m smoking hot, even when I was heavier (and a partner thinking I’m hot actually makes me more attracted to him)! But I rarely find men who say, “well, I’m really attracted to skinny brunettes, but I’ll think about marrying this fat blonde chick because she has a great personality.” Sleep with, yes. Marry, no.
I'm fine with people dating who they're attracted to, whether it be weight, height, skin color, or whatever.
I am not fine with someone refusing to date someone because of what mom might think, but then again, I've always been fortunate in that regard. My immediate family has never given a darn one way or the other about skin color or ethnicity. Religion, now. They like those good Christian guys. Too bad for them I'm an atheist now, so I'm not likely to bring one of those home again!0 -
I think people are misinterpretting what has been said. There ARE men who take advantage of women with self esteem issues, which is not uncommon in larger women. When I started losing weight, it was amazing how the creepy guys at the gym suddenly paid me attention. I was a target because as someone who didn't get much notice before, I think they thought I'd give it up more easily because I'd be happy someone noticed me!
I do not think men look to use fat girls for sex but some do...more likely is Roadie's comment above. Why not go for hot and dumb?
I'm not trying to say overweight women are hopeless when it comes to finding love. But let's be real here. The guys say in one thread, I wouldn't do that. Then they say in another thread, well I can get someone fitter and hotter. They say in one thread, "oh it''s not just about looks" but in another thread when someone has a hot new girlfriend all the congratulations are about how hot she is. Not how awesome you found someone with a great personality. I don't have a problem with it, but let's all stop trying to pretend. I'm shallow and I know it. And vain.
Roadie said he wouldn't use an overweight girl for sex, but instead he'd go for the hot and dumb ones, and just be friends with the girl he wasn't attracted to. Well what happens when all the great guys only want you for friendship? You're left with the ones who are trying to prey on your desire for intimacy and relationship. I'm not trying to make anyone feel worse about themselves, but I'm also not going to sugar coat it and deny the reality that 20lbs ago I didn't get hit on by the same caliber of guy that's attracted to me now.0 -
But please don't take anything I'm saying to mean that overweight women can't find love. Take a look around the mall. People bigger and less attractive than all of us on this forum all have significant others. And some are actually happy (lol). A larger size is a convenient way to weed out those who aren't genuine ;-)
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Ok, I'm not trying to be a jerk here, but pleeeeaaaassssseeeee stop saying that guys will only use fat girls for sex. I get it. I really do. I have achieved over half of my goal now, but I realize I'm still overweight. It is so disheartening to read that opinion over and over again and assume that every time a man expresses interest, it's only because he thinks I'm good for sex, not for a relationship. If I were just sitting on my *kitten* doing nothing about my weight, yeah, I can see not having any room to talk, but the fact is, I'm not. I promise, I'm not trying to be a jerk or hate on anyone, it's just that, as someone who has a tendency to think negatively about herself, it just adds fuel to the fire
I think people are misinterpretting what has been said. There ARE men who take advantage of women with self esteem issues, which is not uncommon in larger women. When I started losing weight, it was amazing how the creepy guys at the gym suddenly paid me attention. I was a target because as someone who didn't get much notice before, I think they thought I'd give it up more easily because I'd be happy someone noticed me!
I do not think men look to use fat girls for sex but some do...more likely is Roadie's comment above. Why not go for hot and dumb?
I agree!! And I think men that take advantage of ANY woman for sex are douches!!
I've hung around with men all my life, always worked in a male environment and I've never known a guy sleep with a fat chick just cos she was fat! I've known plently of guys go to Thailand though, and sleep with tiny women who just want a western man! I've also known plenty of people got out with and marry fat spouces!! Look around you, the world is full of large, medium and small couples.
I really think that Janies opinion on this is limited to the few, rather than the majority. There will always be douches taking advantage of vulnerable groups of women. And there will alwasy be vulnerable women that let them!! But that aside, please dont get paranoid about it. I've never had an issue with being used for sex and my weight fluctuates all the time :flowerforyou:0 -
I don't get the whole using a fat chick for sex thing. If I decide to use some guy for sex, I want him to be smokin hot.0
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I disagree.
I want to date people in my fitness bracket.
If they do as well, then there is one more thing we have in common.
If they didnt want to date when I was chubby, but they want me now, well gues what- I wasnt ready to date them then, but now I might have them wrapped around my lil finger.
life is balanced.0 -
No one can argue that your options improve as your weight drops. I went from no attention to interest from men that I don't care for so clearly I need to take off more. However I think it's a huge assumption ( no pun intended) to say that just because the " quality" may be lower that it means they are only looking to use you for sex...0
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I think people are misinterpretting what has been said. There ARE men who take advantage of women with self esteem issues, which is not uncommon in larger women. When I started losing weight, it was amazing how the creepy guys at the gym suddenly paid me attention. I was a target because as someone who didn't get much notice before, I think they thought I'd give it up more easily because I'd be happy someone noticed me!
I do not think men look to use fat girls for sex but some do...more likely is Roadie's comment above. Why not go for hot and dumb?
I'm not trying to say overweight women are hopeless when it comes to finding love. But let's be real here. The guys say in one thread, I wouldn't do that. Then they say in another thread, well I can get someone fitter and hotter. They say in one thread, "oh it''s not just about looks" but in another thread when someone has a hot new girlfriend all the congratulations are about how hot she is. Not how awesome you found someone with a great personality. I don't have a problem with it, but let's all stop trying to pretend. I'm shallow and I know it. And vain.
Roadie said he wouldn't use an overweight girl for sex, but instead he'd go for the hot and dumb ones, and just be friends with the girl he wasn't attracted to. Well what happens when all the great guys only want you for friendship? You're left with the ones who are trying to prey on your desire for intimacy and relationship. I'm not trying to make anyone feel worse about themselves, but I'm also not going to sugar coat it and deny the reality that 20lbs ago I didn't get hit on by the same caliber of guy that's attracted to me now.
The problem with taking things as red on this forum is that it's a fitness site. It's always going to biased and almost predjudiced agianst unfit/fat people!! And that's probably the same as in the militairy or firebrigade or army or the gym. Basically, anywhere where fitness/health is a priority for people there will be a biased opinion.
However, fit /healthy people do not represent society as a whole. Like I said, and as you said, look around you, plenty of overweight/unhealthy people getting hit on/in relationships/married in the world.0 -
I asked politely for a little sensitivity, Janie. I also explained that I have been working very hard to get to the point where I am now 50 pounds lighter, which I believe does place me in the category of working seriously to reach my goals. There was no whining involved in my statement. I realize I am sensitive, perhaps overly sensitive. I'm an artist -- it comes with the territory.
Gear shift:
I am sure that once I get to goal I will meet plenty of very attractive men who will be interested, mostly because I am a very pretty girl already. I don't think there is anything wrong at all with physical attraction; as a matter of fact, I think it's very important. Personally, I am not attracted to larger men, which is a main reason I am working to lose this weight. I am not a hypocrite :laugh: It will be interesting to see if any of my guy friends do ask me out -- at the very least, I am sure it will be flattering!0 -
I asked politely for a little sensitivity, Janie.
Well I'll certainly try and tone it down. I just hate for folks to look at how people in other countries do it and think they can have the same thing over here. It's not always fair (I'm thinking about the burn scar victim story I told a couple weeks ago) but attraction does matter. You've made GREAT progress, and I"m sure with such a can-do attitude, you'll find the perfect partner.0 -
I asked politely for a little sensitivity, Janie.
Well I'll certainly try and tone it down. I just hate for folks to look at how people in other countries do it and think they can have the same thing over here. It's not always fair (I'm thinking about the burn scar victim story I told a couple weeks ago) but attraction does matter. You've made GREAT progress, and I"m sure with such a can-do attitude, you'll find the perfect partner.
Thanks! I think we have very different perspectives on life, so we clashed a bit here. I wouldn't want you to think I don't like you, because that's just not the case :flowerforyou:0 -
Anna is right. This is a fitness site and with that should come a little respect for people's feelings specifically in regard to that. I think we all have enough life experience to know that being heavier is not socially ideal in today's society. But everyone on a site like this is also clearly working on that part of themselves. No one needs sugar coating, but let's not stoop to the level of the main boards either please, because Single Peeps has been harmonious so far.The problem with taking things as red on this forum is that it's a fitness site. It's always going to biased and almost predjudiced agianst unfit/fat people!! And that's probably the same as in the militairy or firebrigade or army or the gym. Basically, anywhere where fitness/health is a priority for people there will be a biased opinion.
However, fit /healthy people do not represent society as a whole. Like I said, and as you said, look around you, plenty of overweight/unhealthy people getting hit on/in relationships/married in the world.
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I think it was a thread that JNash started and I can't find now, but months ago we discussed how different dating styles are in different parts of the US. Some of the discussion centered around how women in southern areas expect a man to pay for the date where the same age northern women would never assume that. There were other issues mentioned too. But my point is that I also wonder if these extreme opinions on weight and dating also have to do with cultural or geographic ideals, or vice versa? I looked up some US obesity statistics and it is rather interesting how even though a large population of the entire country is considered obese, there are differences depending on areas. Does this have anything to do with how we look for a mate, in other words, is someone in Mississippi (the state with the highest rate) looking for a thin person because they find it to be an anomaly and therefore more attractive? And can we say the same thing about ethnicity or other traits someone might have (not limited to the US of course)? I know it takes the conversation in a slightly different direction, but I'm curious what others think of this?
US CDC Obesity Statistics & map: http://www.cdc.gov/obesity/data/adult.html0 -
But please don't take anything I'm saying to mean that overweight women can't find love. Take a look around the mall. People bigger and less attractive than all of us on this forum all have significant others. And some are actually happy (lol). A larger size is a convenient way to weed out those who aren't genuine ;-)
:flowerforyou:
There is still the explicit assumption here that bigger women are viewed universally as less attractive. That may be some people's view based on their experience and that of the majority of people on what is a weight loss site, however it is not everyones' experience. I have always felt attractive regardless of my weight and I know that my partners have been attracted to me because of my looks (amongst other things), not in spite of them.
Something that occurs to me often reading posts like this (and some a whole lot worse in terms of the level of loathing of former selves) is whether all is well when the weight is lost. Because often I suspect it isn't. Self hatred and it's evil twin (perfectionism) are very tough habits to break.0 -
I also wonder if these extreme opinions on weight and dating also have to do with cultural or geographic ideals, or vice versa?
I'm sure you're right, PJ. As an extreme example, if a man in Jamaica thinks a woman he passed on the street is very attractive, he's not likely to wolf whistle, he's more likely to call her a fat girl. It's a compliment :laugh:0 -
There is still the explicit assumption here that bigger women are viewed universally as less attractive. That
Do you think it's a false statement that bigger women are viewed universally as less attractive?
I understand that there are exceptions. But generally speaking it appears (to me) that thinner is more attractive both for men and women. For example, most movie star men right now have a thin look I do not find attractive. But I know I'm in the minority on that. So you don't think that men who find the larger female form attractive are also in the minority?0 -
I also wonder if these extreme opinions on weight and dating also have to do with cultural or geographic ideals, or vice versa?
I'm sure you're right, PJ. As an extreme example, if a man in Jamaica thinks a woman he passed on the street is very attractive, he's not likely to wolf whistle, he's more likely to call her a fat girl. It's a compliment :laugh:
Yes, absolutely. Some things I read on here just do not happen in London :noway: But we do have a difference in rural and city attitude, so I can't say the culture is consistent across the UK
Also, I've noticed various opionions from state to state in America. I can't pinpoint where and how, but if you say its Northern and Southern, then yes, the difference in attitude is plain to see.
Ask Calvert, he seems very much in tune with state differences.0 -
There is still the explicit assumption here that bigger women are viewed universally as less attractive. That
Do you think it's a false statement that bigger women are viewed universally as less attractive?
I understand that there are exceptions. But generally speaking it appears (to me) that thinner is more attractive both for men and women. For example, most movie star men right now have a thin look I do not find attractive. But I know I'm in the minority on that. So you don't think that men who find the larger female form attractive are also in the minority?
I prefer stocky men. Most forum topics on the subject would indicate men prefer 'curvy' women, and that women dont like thin men or are intimidated by men who are too buff! And that's on a fitness site. Let alone what normal people think :laugh:
There is a whole porn industry for BBW women!!
I think 'thin' is overrated on here, and I agree with Lorro, there is sometimes an undercurrent of self loathing that comes from fat and thin alike.
Seeing yourself as unnatrative will, for sure, make you unnatractive!! .:flowerforyou:0 -
There is still the explicit assumption here that bigger women are viewed universally as less attractive. That
Do you think it's a false statement that bigger women are viewed universally as less attractive?
I understand that there are exceptions. But generally speaking it appears (to me) that thinner is more attractive both for men and women. For example, most movie star men right now have a thin look I do not find attractive. But I know I'm in the minority on that. So you don't think that men who find the larger female form attractive are also in the minority?
I prefer stocky men. Most forum topics on the subject would indicate men prefer 'curvy' women, and that women dont like thin men or are intimidated by men who are too buff! And that's on a fitness site. Let alone what normal people think :laugh:
There is a whole porn industry for BBW women!!
I think 'thin' is overrated on here :flowerforyou:
Thin to fit is what I go for... however I'd date average too0 -
There is still the explicit assumption here that bigger women are viewed universally as less attractive. That
Do you think it's a false statement that bigger women are viewed universally as less attractive?
I understand that there are exceptions. But generally speaking it appears (to me) that thinner is more attractive both for men and women. For example, most movie star men right now have a thin look I do not find attractive. But I know I'm in the minority on that. So you don't think that men who find the larger female form attractive are also in the minority?
Yes I think the phrase bigger=less attractive is a false statement when applied to people's dating choices. It's an absolute statement. Attraction is subjective, that statement is true for some and not for others. It may be true for the majority, but to state it as a truth for all does not reflect the reality that many women experience in the world. In the countries we live in I agree - men who will seek out larger women based on their size are in the minority. Many more are not that bothered about size, within a fairly wide range. Other physical features may be more important to them (and personaility too of course). For others excess weight is a total turn off.0 -
Seeing yourself as unattrative will, for sure, make you unattractive!! .:flowerforyou:
So true! And the reverse - confidence is attractive. Which brings us back to the negative effect views like this can have on people's confidence. A self fulfilling prophecy, so to speak.0 -
I think people are misinterpretting what has been said. There ARE men who take advantage of women with self esteem issues, which is not uncommon in larger women.
As sad as it is, it's very true.
I was practically in love with this one guy who was very nice, and he paid me a lot of attention when we were drinking, and he was nice to me when we'd see each other otherwise, but it wasn't the same as when we were drunk. Looking back, I'm sure he had that intention to try and take advantage of me, even if he wasn't doing it consciously. I don't think he was - he was too nice of a guy - but I know on some level, his intention was to get some from the fat girl. When he didn't, he moved on.Well what happens when all the great guys only want you for friendship? You're left with the ones who are trying to prey on your desire for intimacy and relationship.
I'm so fortunate that I won't settle for something halfway because I want a guy to want me. I am picky, and I'm proud of myself for that. I probably could have gotten kissed before if I wanted, but I won't just kiss anyone to get it over with. I could have kept seeing the guy I was seeing in March if I wanted a relationship but I didn't. You get the point. Plenty of people I know settle for something less than what they deserve because they want a guy to want them. I'm glad I'm not vulnerable for that. I'm not saying people haven't tried but I recognize it easily.Why is physical attraction considered a lesser/shameful kind of attraction? Can anyone reply to that?
Yes, this is the easiest question to answer.
Because it doesn't mean too much in the long run. Someone can be hot, but have a bad personality. Ideally, you want to be attracted to someone, but the bigger factor should be how your personalities interact. Could you live with someone for fifty years, thinking they're hot, but hating their personality? I'd rather like their personality and get along with them.0
