Deleting friends who don't EAT!
RushBabe214
Posts: 469 Member
How do you do it?
In good conscience I cannot support someone who eats 1,000 calories and burns off 700 of them. Do you message them first, explaining why or do you just delete them and keep it movin'?
In good conscience I cannot support someone who eats 1,000 calories and burns off 700 of them. Do you message them first, explaining why or do you just delete them and keep it movin'?
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bumping to see responses....
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I dont delete them. I just ask why so little calories. I know for me when I first started I was uneducated and still had the mentallity of burn more eat less. It wasnt until I gained some knowledge about BMR, TDEE, Net and everything. MFP was even warning me when I completed my diary that I was eating to little and would not lose. But I didnt listen until my weight stopped moving after 4 lousy pounds. So I think alot of it is lack of knowledge and the way they think. Ask them why and offer advice and info. If they take it its on them, but I promise they will eventually come around. Especially when they see you eating and losing. :drinker:0
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I don't delete them, I just don't comment on their diary. But when they start complaining they haven't lost any weight and ASK for advice I tell them to look back at their eating. Let them see for themselves. And then sometimes people just log what they want you to see.0
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I think sometimes people take their criteria for adding and deleting people on here way too seriously. I have deleted people in the past for eating too little ONLY because it became apparent thru their posts and interactions with others that they were purposely eating 400-600 calories a day, knowing it was far too few calories. They had eating disorders and wasn't looking to change their habits and I didn't care to read posts about them binging and purgining every day. But like one of the previous posters, I didn't understand net cals either and it took some caring friends to bring it to my attention and educate me, and from there I was able to make corrections. We can't assume that everyone who is eating too little is doing it intentionally, the MFP site itself does not provide this info when you sign up, therefore if you are new weight loss and healthy eating, you're not going to know about TDEE, and BMR, etc. I think you should message that person and if they dont' receive what you say and it still bothers you, then take it from there..................0
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I appreciate the insight. I have considered messaging to ask what's up and to offer advice if they're receptive to it. I will try that approach. Thanks!0
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I havent come across this yet, mainly because almost everyone who is on my friends list are from here.. However I have had a few people on here delete me...:)
Not sure.. Part of me would just go ahead and delete them... another part would try to get them to see why they are struggling when they eat so low0 -
I ask why they're not eating enough and offer helpful suggestions. If in a few weeks they haven't taken on any of the advice, and are still drastically undereating while still moaning about 'Oh my god I at so much today' (when they really didn't) and 'why am I putting on/not losing weight, I don't eat enough for that!', then I put my culling hat on and delete, delete, delete.0
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I try not to concern myself with what others are eating, and I find that unsolicited advice is often ill received. If I really didnt want them on my friends list I would just delete them. But typically I just let my diary speak for itself and if people have questions about my succes they can ask me.0
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I have seen many posts on here about folks deleting "friends" because of low cal intake...one should never delete someone by assumption alone...{{shudder}}. With some people it is apparent they are doing it with complete knowledge....and you just need to let those people go....no need for explanations! (hey I admit~ old habbits die hard...sometimes I STILL have that thought in my head to eat even less to lose quicker) With MANY others you just never know...they could have an eating disorder or like myself I have Crohns disease & it would give me a heavy heart to be penalized for the days my eating is lacking.
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Deff message them and ask them why, then you will have more of an idea to make a sound decission. Never judge a book by its cover...you might miss something.
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If I check out their diary I would comment and say light day and maybe add more healthy eats or eat more often. Sometimes I will delete if they have a group of pals that think they are doing a great job with this unhealthy lifestyle and doing more harm.0
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Feel free to cut someone off because you don't approve of their methods, but to do so and post about it makes you look somewhat egotistical.0
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Support to me means not just supporting people who only think like me. I have friends in real life who have terrible eating habits but I would never stop being friends with them just because they didn't eat like me.
My goal is to be an example both in real life and on this website to prove to people that you can eat, enjoy life and workout less and still lose and reach your goal body.
To me that is more helpful and supportive verses just deleting someone because they are where I once was.0 -
I try not to concern myself with what others are eating, and I find that unsolicited advice is often ill received. If I really didnt want them on my friends list I would just delete them. But typically I just let my diary speak for itself and if people have questions about my succes they can ask me.
This exactly!! I do well to look after my own diary. But if anyone asks questions I will gladly answer and point them in the right direction.0 -
I just deleted one today because she was making me think unhealthy thoughts. I did not message her as she never commented on anything I did/said anyway. It just wasn't worth seeing her net 200 calories a day and her enthusiasm at her big loss in a short amount of time. I just wanted to scream at her. So I deleted her before I could rant and make her delete me. She will find out for herself that it was stupid when she gains all of her weight back!0
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well for me I don't delete them because I was at that place. some like me are trying to figure out this calorie bit and trying to find my correct numbers. many in eating disorders its a much deeper issue into why they are not eating. there is a lot more to it then telling them to eat. perhaps they are dealing with some emotional things. take me for instance at the time I was undereating I was dealing with the death of a close friend. I didn't want to think about eating. try to be more understanding and sympatheic.0
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I don't delete them, I just don't comment on their diary. But when they start complaining they haven't lost any weight and ASK for advice I tell them to look back at their eating. Let them see for themselves. And then sometimes people just log what they want you to see.
This is what I do. I also may msg them and make sure they're aware of what they're doing. I don't necessarily delete them. However, I don't necessarily add them as friends if they request me either. It depends on the rest of their profile.0 -
I have only deleted people who have not commented regularly on my profile page. Every day I try and comment on all my MFP pals profiles, and I expect my friends to comment on mine at least 2-3 times a week. Its one reason why I keep my group of friends small.
I do have a couple who daily eat below 1200 cals and they exercise also. I normally don't comment on their diaries, but I have commented to both friends that they may well be putting their health in jeopardy by eating below 1200 calories at the very least. I then explained how I used to eat 1200 cals and that after a 5 week plateau and reading a LOT of advice eventually started eating my BMR cals, and am now loosing weight again.
Both these friends are good motivators and I would loose out if I deleted them, and I also believe I would not be a friend if I did not hang on and try and help and motivate them when they start to have problems because of the way they are eating.0 -
I don't delete them at all. I don't encourage the behavior though because it's like anything else, because I don't agree with what you do, I don't stop being your friend. I try to set a good example and not harp on anyone. I share as much as I can here about eating but it's everyone's choice to take it or leave it. Thing is, it is painful to see people eat too little. I think many of us are so brain-washed by "myths" of losing 10 lbs in 10 days. What they fail to mention is what it is you're actually losing, fat? Maybe some, lean muscle, almost definitely and water among a few other organs that could be deteriorating, but hey!! I lost 10 lbs in 10 days, Im a success. That can be a persons epitaph, I lost all those pounds and was into the size I wanted, I died but I got into those jeans!
I have to go burn some calories and forget about these posts, I think everyone here would agree:noway:How do you do it?
In good conscience I cannot support someone who eats 1,000 calories and burns off 700 of them. Do you message them first, explaining why or do you just delete them and keep it movin'?0 -
Feel free to cut someone off because you don't approve of their methods, but to do so and post about it makes you look somewhat egotistical.
I agree with this.0
