what the first step means to me

casi_ann

We admitted we were powerless over our food compulsion…that our lives had become unmanagemable. This first step is in the past tense. Once we find the ability to admit this powerlessness over our food compulsions we must move on in our journey of recovery, not get stuck in the disease. I made the mistake of using this first step as my reason for continuing my compulsive eating for way too long. I hear others do the same. Once we go through the 12 steps and make them part of our lives this is no longer the case, because we have found the power we need to live without compulsive overeating from our HP. When I forgot about the power of God that was already in me, that was already a part of me, I was diseased. But, remembering that God is always with me to the point of being an integral part of me I have found the recovery I need to turn from the food and turn instead to God. OA and the 12 steps gave me back Gods power to choose rational thinking, the power to choose not to eat compulsively and the power not to speak or act compulsively. I'm not saying I'll never make a mistake or that I will have perfect abstinence. I don't think there is such a thing. I'm saying that when I make a mistake I will admit it, make amends and move on.