Have to ask....

Options
2»

Replies

  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
    Options
    DM, I gotta tell you, you are always the bright spot in a dark room. :tongue:

    Thanks Darla. :tongue:


    I think he over generalizes, Carl.

    I get messages from men in their 20's who don't like the women their own age, so, no, not every man under 45 wants a woman in her 20's.

    And just because he thinks he is right all the time, doesn't mean he is!:tongue:

    Under ideal conditions, men from 25-45 want younger women. The first choice is to have a significantly younger women. There are downsides to younger women though. Some are very tough to deal with, but that is normal and natural. An attractive, childless woman in her 20s can drive a hard bargain because there's a long list of options for her. A female poster in her 20s on this board said the other day that she eliminated a guy over a trivial issue like strawberry milk because she could due to the fact she is so in demand.
  • MikeM53082
    MikeM53082 Posts: 1,199 Member
    Options

    A few months ago, a female member of this group posted a screen shot with 643 incoming messages on OkCupid.

    Attractive, childless women in their 20s get the majority of messages because that is what every guy under 40-45 or so wants.

    As usual, you are 100% correct DM. I always get a laugh when I hear cute girls in their 20's complain about not being able to find a guy. It's utterly ridiculous.
  • NCTravellingGirl
    NCTravellingGirl Posts: 717 Member
    Options
    It's not you, and it's OK. Keep going! For me, it wasn't worth it. I got about 30-40 messages in a month on POF with a new acct. In 7 weeks on Match.com, I literally only got 2 messages and 5 winks in the first two weeks then nothing ever again for the 5 weeks after that. I'm just not a fit online, and that's OK with me....

    I really hope it works for you :flowerforyou:
  • SouthernSweetie74
    Options
    DM, I gotta tell you, you are always the bright spot in a dark room. :tongue:

    Thanks Darla. :tongue:


    I think he over generalizes, Carl.

    I get messages from men in their 20's who don't like the women their own age, so, no, not every man under 45 wants a woman in her 20's.

    And just because he thinks he is right all the time, doesn't mean he is!:tongue:

    Under ideal conditions, men from 25-45 want younger women. The first choice is to have a significantly younger women. There are downsides to younger women though. Some are very tough to deal with, but that is normal and natural. An attractive, childless woman in her 20s can drive a hard bargain because there's a long list of options for her. A female poster in her 20s on this board said the other day that she eliminated a guy over a trivial issue like strawberry milk because she could due to the fact she is so in demand.

    I know. I know. I saw that post, too. And she's beautiful and young. I gotcha. And maybe most men prefer a woman who is younger. Got ya. But not all. And, I'm not so sure it's about the age as it is about the looks and attractiveness. I mean, we all have to face it, but when we get older, we start to get lines around our eyes and maybe a few gray hairs. Personally, I find that very attractive on a man. And some men do prefer older women. I get hit on by younger men way more than I get hit on by older men.

    Okay, I will say this about men seeking women in a certain age range: In my experience, if a man is ready to settle down and start raising a family, he is more interested in the women who are in child-bearing age. The 20something year olds that message me are generally not looking for that type of relationship. Not saying that some of them are not looking for a relationship; some of them just think us older women ROCK. LOL And men in their 40's who have never been married or never had children tend to be more interested in women in the child-bearing age. Just from what I've noticed. But I still don't agree that all men are looking for a younger woman.

    Then, again, I try not to generalize anyway.
  • MikeM53082
    MikeM53082 Posts: 1,199 Member
    Options
    It's not you, and it's OK. Keep going! For me, it wasn't worth it. I got about 30-40 messages in a month on POF with a new acct. In 7 weeks on Match.com, I literally only got 2 messages and 5 winks in the first two weeks then nothing ever again for the 5 weeks after that. I'm just not a fit online, and that's OK with me....

    I really hope it works for you :flowerforyou:

    30-40 messages in a month is pretty darn good! I wouldn't quit just yet.

    I know sometimes I need a break from it all, so I'll take a couple of weeks off from online dating. Once my batteries are recharged, then I dive head in again.
  • SouthernSweetie74
    Options
    It's not you, and it's OK. Keep going! For me, it wasn't worth it. I got about 30-40 messages in a month on POF with a new acct. In 7 weeks on Match.com, I literally only got 2 messages and 5 winks in the first two weeks then nothing ever again for the 5 weeks after that. I'm just not a fit online, and that's OK with me....

    I really hope it works for you :flowerforyou:

    30-40 messages in a month is pretty darn good! I wouldn't quit just yet.

    I know sometimes I need a break from it all, so I'll take a couple of weeks off from online dating. Once my batteries are recharged, then I dive head in again.

    I agree! 30-40 messages is good! And, NC, I wish you would stop being so hard on yourself!!!
  • bruintamer
    bruintamer Posts: 183 Member
    Options
    I'm not on any dating sites right now but in the last 1.5 years I've dabbled a bit on POF, OKC, and Match. Nope, never 20+ messages a day. Never even 10+ messages. I'm 27 and kid free but I live in la la land and I've scoped out the competition....eeeks, aspiring models and "actresses" and busty bubbly blondes...:cry:
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
    Options
    DM, I gotta tell you, you are always the bright spot in a dark room. :tongue:

    Thanks Darla. :tongue:


    I think he over generalizes, Carl.

    I get messages from men in their 20's who don't like the women their own age, so, no, not every man under 45 wants a woman in her 20's.

    And just because he thinks he is right all the time, doesn't mean he is!:tongue:

    Under ideal conditions, men from 25-45 want younger women. The first choice is to have a significantly younger women. There are downsides to younger women though. Some are very tough to deal with, but that is normal and natural. An attractive, childless woman in her 20s can drive a hard bargain because there's a long list of options for her. A female poster in her 20s on this board said the other day that she eliminated a guy over a trivial issue like strawberry milk because she could due to the fact she is so in demand.

    I know. I know. I saw that post, too. And she's beautiful and young. I gotcha. And maybe most men prefer a woman who is younger. Got ya. But not all. And, I'm not so sure it's about the age as it is about the looks and attractiveness. I mean, we all have to face it, but when we get older, we start to get lines around our eyes and maybe a few gray hairs. Personally, I find that very attractive on a man. And some men do prefer older women. I get hit on by younger men way more than I get hit on by older men.

    Darla, I agree with you. I get way more interest from guys the same age or younger as opposed to older. It must be because we're both awesome! :glasses:

    Take DM's opinions with a grain of salt, he's good at making generalizations seem like they're carved in stone (teasing you as always DM :tongue::laugh::drinker: ).
  • SouthernSweetie74
    Options
    Darla, I agree with you. I get way more interest from guys the same age or younger as opposed to older. It must be because we're both awesome! :glasses:

    OH, but of course! Girl, We ROCK!!!! :drinker: :smokin: :drinker:
    Take DM's opinions with a grain of salt, he's good at making generalizations seem like they're carved in stone (teasing you as always DM :tongue::laugh::drinker: ).

    oh, yeah, I'm just having a little fun with him!:tongue:
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
    Options
    For those of you that do the online dating....girls---do you get inbox full of 20+ messages a day? I don't! never have and don't know anyone who does? Maybe it is just the younger, super hot girls?

    I’m on Match. I live in a large city. I’m neither young, nor super hot, but I get about 3-5 messages a day when I do my normal log in for 5 minute before bed. Days when I’m on Match a lot or several times a day, I get more than that. Days when I haven’t logged on in awhile (like this week) it might be one a day or every other day.

    When I first got back on, I was getting maybe 10-15 a day, mostly from guys old enough to be my dad. Probably b/c I was new. It’s been a couple months now.
  • BigBrewski
    BigBrewski Posts: 922 Member
    Options
    I am just here for the gangbang .... You're my boy, Blue! You're my boy

    Now I am going to vent for a minute. First, I am not on any dating sites because when I was I would send out lots of messages and get no responses. I always assumed that the ladies and dudes with the "hot" profile picutres got all the messages. My messages were at first more than the simple wink and hello but then after writing longer messages and getting no responses I started using the short messages and winks. Just to see if anyone would "EVER" respond. Well after a few weeks I did start getting a few responses but really never more that 3-5 a week. Heck if I had 2 responses in one day I would have fainted. Now I get that I am old and I am not the most attractive looking fella but really "no messages". I have come to learn that women have the same issue and I work with a few folks that came from one of those "paid" sites I won't mention the site name. They told me a lot about what goes on at the sites and lets just say there is some "fraud" going on there.

    For all the ladies on this thread, I would message you if I saw your profile I am sure and for the record I never messaged the ladies that had the giant cleavage shot for a profile pic. I wasn't on the sites to find "hook-ups" I was on the site to find dates. There are plenty of "adult" hook up sites out there that make millions of dollars and don't get 90% of their clients laid. (Hmmm maybe I need to put up an "adult" hook up site)

    sorry for venting
  • Katefab26
    Katefab26 Posts: 865
    Options
    I'm not on any dating sites right now but in the last 1.5 years I've dabbled a bit on POF, OKC, and Match. Nope, never 20+ messages a day. Never even 10+ messages. I'm 27 and kid free but I live in la la land and I've scoped out the competition....eeeks, aspiring models and "actresses" and busty bubbly blondes...:cry:

    That is crazy! You're absolutely gorgeous!
  • HellsKells
    HellsKells Posts: 671 Member
    Options
    My profile gets a lot of views, but I think the most messages i ever got at one time was 4, and 3 of them were, "Hey, what's up?"

    It sucks, because I will respond to pretty much anything more than that :laugh:
  • SouthernSweetie74
    Options
    I am just here for the gangbang .... You're my boy, Blue! You're my boy

    Now I am going to vent for a minute. First, I am not on any dating sites because when I was I would send out lots of messages and get no responses. I always assumed that the ladies and dudes with the "hot" profile picutres got all the messages. My messages were at first more than the simple wink and hello but then after writing longer messages and getting no responses I started using the short messages and winks. Just to see if anyone would "EVER" respond. Well after a few weeks I did start getting a few responses but really never more that 3-5 a week. Heck if I had 2 responses in one day I would have fainted. Now I get that I am old and I am not the most attractive looking fella but really "no messages". I have come to learn that women have the same issue and I work with a few folks that came from one of those "paid" sites I won't mention the site name. They told me a lot about what goes on at the sites and lets just say there is some "fraud" going on there.

    For all the ladies on this thread, I would message you if I saw your profile I am sure and for the record I never messaged the ladies that had the giant cleavage shot for a profile pic. I wasn't on the sites to find "hook-ups" I was on the site to find dates. There are plenty of "adult" hook up sites out there that make millions of dollars and don't get 90% of their clients laid. (Hmmm maybe I need to put up an "adult" hook up site)

    sorry for venting

    Just for the record, if you had messaged me, I would have responded. :wink:

    Vent away.

    That's what the boards are here for.

    It's hard for all of us.

    And, it's a good thing that you weren't online just for a hook-up. The experiment I did was several years ago...
  • kerrymh
    kerrymh Posts: 912 Member
    Options
    Its a myth..perhaps the same 5% of the female population 18 to 30 who are a 9-10 rating in looks will get their email inboxes blown up with a million messages..I'm sure they have thousands..and honestly I'm guessing online dating is a big ego boost for them because really why do they need to be online when in real life they probably have no shortage of men asking them out as well.
    But for the average woman online with decent looks and personality..I'm sure when they first go on line they have a big surge of interest..but this most likely dies down to one or 2 a day..to one or 3 a week...and then its meh.
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,370 Member
    Options
    I have come to learn that women have the same issue and I work with a few folks that came from one of those "paid" sites I won't mention the site name. They told me a lot about what goes on at the sites and lets just say there is some "fraud" going on there.


    Yes,no matter what site the only messages I ever got were from 20s aged women that were clearly models with studio photos all of who lived in NYC or Boston.
    They were either Email phishing or hoping I would pay for the premium service so I could email them there.
  • NCTravellingGirl
    NCTravellingGirl Posts: 717 Member
    Options
    I have come to learn that women have the same issue and I work with a few folks that came from one of those "paid" sites I won't mention the site name. They told me a lot about what goes on at the sites and lets just say there is some "fraud" going on there.


    Yes,no matter what site the only messages I ever got were from 20s aged women that were clearly models with studio photos all of who lived in NYC or Boston.
    They were either Email phishing or hoping I would pay for the premium service so I could email them there.

    This is all totally true! I started to notice with Match how every time I gave them negative feedback (when they asked through surveys), suddenly the next day I would get a wink or message from Boston, Miami, etc.. and those users would mysteriously deactivate within a week. SO just for fun, when I deactivated Match yesterday, I didn't delete it because I'm paid up 5 more weeks.

    I figured I would get something within 24 hours... it took 12 hours for a message from a guy in Idaho to tell me "you have a lovely picture, keep smiling, and stay beautiful", HAHAHAHA nothing more. Think I should message him back? Bahahaha! :laugh: I also had 12 men look at my profile in 12 hours... shocking how that happens. I only had contact 8 times in 7 weeks on Match... 4 of them were scams! What a scam and waste of money that site is!!
  • NCTravellingGirl
    NCTravellingGirl Posts: 717 Member
    Options
    30-40 messages in a month is pretty darn good! I wouldn't quit just yet.

    I know sometimes I need a break from it all, so I'll take a couple of weeks off from online dating. Once my batteries are recharged, then I dive head in again.

    I know what you're saying Mike. The quantity of messages on POF was not the issue, though all of them in the first 2 weeks and only 4 the last 2 weeks. The quality of people, however, was an issue! Out of those messages, I tried talking with probably 20%, generous in my opinion. Most said "Sexy" or "I like what I see" or "You have a pretty mouth" (OK, making that up, haha). I got one offer for a purely sexual relationship. The bulk of them were severely obese and doing nothing to change it.

    I went on 2 dates... one was a dead fish, and one has a live in girlfriend I found out about around week 3 after I slept with him! Because that's not something I normally do so quickly, I had to admit that I'm still not a good judge of character, and online dating makes that worse for me! Still don't believe it's worth it, or that I can get enough traffic to make it worth my time...but I did love having entertainment stories for my friends :laugh:
  • nolachick
    nolachick Posts: 3,278 Member
    Options
    It's not you, and it's OK. Keep going! For me, it wasn't worth it. I got about 30-40 messages in a month on POF with a new acct. In 7 weeks on Match.com, I literally only got 2 messages and 5 winks in the first two weeks then nothing ever again for the 5 weeks after that. I'm just not a fit online, and that's OK with me....

    I really hope it works for you :flowerforyou:

    30-40 messages in a month is pretty darn good! I wouldn't quit just yet.

    I know sometimes I need a break from it all, so I'll take a couple of weeks off from online dating. Once my batteries are recharged, then I dive head in again.

    if it makes anyone feel better, i got 60 messages in the first 24hrs and then an average of 3-5 everyday after. sigh....out of all those i've written back maybe 10, gone on 4 dates and i'm still looking. :grumble:

    in other words its not the quantity that matters its the quality. i rather one nice, normal guy message me and take it from there :blushing: lol
  • AZDizzy
    AZDizzy Posts: 434 Member
    Options
    I get 1-2 a month.